United We Fall
by Hank's Lady
Summary: 9TH PLACE IN THE 'TOP 10 FAVOURITE FICS' COMPLETED IN JANUARY 2013 ON TWIFANFICTIONRECS. A bizarre twist of fate throws Jacob into a turmoil. Can he find a way for his life to be worthwhile, or is he doomed to misery and unfulfilment? Rated M for sex and violence and this is a slash story, people, don't read if it's not your thing. Angst warning!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:- All of the Twilight characters obviously belong to Stephanie Meyer and I am merely borrowing them for the duration of the story. Any extras I introduce are all mine.**

**The story is written from Jacob's point of view throughout unless otherwise stated and is more closely related to Twilight events than any of my recent works, although there are also some very big differences! For instance, Edward and the Cullens never left Forks and broke Bella's heart, Bella didn't fix bikes with Jake to cheer herself up or perform crazy stunts to conjure up Edward and Edward never went to the Volturi with the intention of dying either. Some scenes you'll recognise, some you certainly won't. Hope you enjoy :o)**

**"UNITED WE FALL" WON 9TH PLACE IN THE TOP 10 FAVOURITE FICS COMPLETED IN JANUARY 2013 ON TWIFANFICTIONRECS. **

CHAPTER ONE

_'I am a freak. How could this happen to me? Isn't it bad enough that I have to be a shifter, intended to protect the tribe from vampires? My whole life has turned into a fairy story.'_

It had all begun to happen a couple months after my sixteenth birthday. Prior to that I had to watch one of my best friends pull away from me for no apparent reason other than that he would rather spend time with Sam Uley and his sidekicks. Now suddenly I was one of them, without any choice in the matter and I understood at last what had happened to Embry. It was my destiny, thanks to my great grandfather, the last great Alpha and I was forced to follow in his footsteps. The only thing I had been able to refuse was the Alpha role and I happily left that to Sam. I didn't want the responsibility of leading the pack on top of everything else. Quil, Leah and Seth had all followed suit shortly after and the pack was eight strong.

I could have gotten used to the fact that I frequently turned into a russet coloured wolf the size of a horse and ran around at night with the rest of the pack, patrolling the area for vampires and sleeping away half the day in my bunk. But the Imprinting part? That made me want to run away and never come back. When Sam first talked to me about it, I had some hope. I'd been crazy in love with Bella Swan for months, despite her morbid fascination with Edward Cullen, who had turned out to be a vampire - one the wolves can't touch because of a treaty between the Cullens and the pack. With my new found status as a wolf I had convinced myself that it would only be a matter of time before I Imprinted on her and the pull of it would make her turn her back on him and fall into my arms. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

It happened out on the road that led to the cliffs. I had been waiting for Edward to bring her to me so she could spend the day under my protection. With the threat of unknown vampires she was better off with me while Edward and the others searched for the enemy and hunted. Even though I was in effect helping Edward in order to keep her safe, it didn't stop the pair of us hating each other. I hated him because Bella wanted him and he hated me because I wanted Bella and did my best to annoy him at every opportunity. Now was no exception. I purposefully wore only my cut-offs, omitting my usual t-shirt in order to show off as much of my body as possible. I'm not a vain guy, but I can't deny the facts. I am a hell of a lot fitter than Edward and knowing Bella was going to spend hours in my company, with me half-naked, would get under his skin. I couldn't help myself and I leaned against the Rabbit with my arms folded, biceps bulging, sucking my breath in to make my prominent abs even more obvious, my pants hanging low on my hips as his Volvo pulled up a few yards away.

Bella and Edward both got out of the vehicle and he glared daggers at me immediately, muttering something to Bella about me not owning a shirt. I snorted quietly and brought to mind a picture of Bella in the car with me, unable to keep her eyes off of my chest, perhaps feeling cold in the chilly weather and snuggling close to me to get warm, her hand tracing the shape of my pecs. Her touch would make me hard and maybe if I was lucky her hand might slide lower and rest on my stomach, mere inches from my cock. Edward could read minds and I bit my lip to stop myself laughing aloud as he clenched his fists and audibly ground his teeth together.

My eyes were mostly on Bella and suddenly I was determined that it would happen right then with him having to watch; I would Imprint on her and she would fall into my arms and tell him to go back to hell where he came from. I fixed my eyes on hers and willed it to happen as she walked towards me, even though Sam had told me more than once that fate chose a wolf's mate for it and that longing for it was a waste of time. Of course it didn't work then the same way it hadn't worked any of the other times I tried, perhaps because I was struggling to keep my mind closed off so that Edward wouldn't catch my thoughts this time. I kept my disappointment in check with difficulty and wound him up further by calling her 'beautiful' and pulling her in for a hug, crushing her against my naked torso. I smirked at him over her shoulder and lifted my eyes to his face, amused by his anguished expression. He hated seeing Bella close to me and when I met his eyes they rapidly turned from gold to black...and sucked me in.

I let Bella go quickly, focusing my mind on her and her alone as I turned away abruptly and opened the car door for her. I pictured myself taking her to the council meeting that night, sitting close together by the bonfire, my arm around her, listening to Dad talk, maybe giving her a kiss now and then. Edward seethed, threw himself into the Volvo and tore away with a screech of tyres and I allowed myself a tiny amount of relief. He didn't know. I ran around to the other side of the car, slid in and started the engine. As I began to drive my thoughts came at me with full force.

_'I Imprinted on Edward Cullen! How can that possibly be good for anyone? For me...for him...for the pack. Why in hell would a wolf Imprint on a vampire? They don't need protection or support; they certainly don't need...love. Fuck. Don't even think that. Don't think about it at all. I can't ever let anyone find out. The pack would laugh their asses off or shun me, the Cullens would be horrified and Bella...shit, the utter devotion I felt for her has already started fading. Was that the point? Did this happen so I would get over her because I have no hope in her loving me the same way? But how does that benefit Cullen? He won't want this any more than I do. How in the hell could my stupid brainless wolf consider a male vampire a suitable mate? Jesus Christ!'_

"Jacob! Look out!"

Bella's voice startled me out of my panicked thoughts and I slammed my foot onto the brake, wrenching the wheel over to the right and narrowly missing the oncoming and loudly honking sixteen-wheeler. I had drifted over the centre line of the road and almost wiped us out. Now my heart banged erratically against my ribs and I halted on the shoulder, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants. I could have killed us both. All I could think at that moment was that if only I had been on my own, it would probably be better for everyone if I just let the truck take me out.

"Jake, what is _wrong_ with you?" Bella cried, touching my shoulder and shaking me.

"Sorry...um...I got distracted for a minute."

"Distracted? What are you thinking about? Do you want me to drive?"

"No, it's fine...I'm fine. Sorry." I pulled myself together and told myself not to think about it..._him. _

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I mentally shook myself and shifted the car into gear again. I was intending to take Bella back to my place for a while so I could fit some new parts I had bought for the Rabbit while she kept me company. I had planned to order a pizza and talk to her, make her laugh, try to get closer to her, maybe make a move at long last. I glanced sideways at her as I drove - her long dark hair framing her face, big eyes watching the road, teeth biting her lower lip in that cute way she had. She was beautiful, sweet, the love of my life. I still wanted her. I wanted her in my arms, kissing me, loving me..._no I didn't._

I realised with a shock that the way I had felt about her was already changing to the platonic feelings of a friend and I was at a loss as to how to deal with what had just happened. How in the hell could I go through the rest of my life keeping my mind closed off to the pack every time we phased? They would be horrified if I let them find out and it was only a mercy that the pack mind wasn't active when we were in human form. As it was, I would still have to keep myself from thinking about it when I was anywhere near Edward. He would just love that. After the months I had spent tormenting him with my closeness to Bella, amusing myself by purposefully thinking inappropriate things about her in his presence, I knew he would just love to get his own back by rubbing my nose well and truly into this sickening twist of fate. As for the Imprint itself and what it meant - I resolved not to even consider that, for my own sanity as much as anything else.

As planned, I spent the whole day with Bella. I worked on the car while she chatted and passed me tools. She talked about school and Charlie and the imminent threat of vampires rather than harping on about Edward, much to my relief and it helped to keep my mind off things at least a little. However, I was relieved when darkness fell and the time came for me to take Bella to the council meeting. It was the first for Quil and the Clearwaters and we all sat around the bonfire listening to Dad recite the story I had heard myself a few weeks back, of our ancestors and how the treaty was originally formed with the Cullens, or 'cold ones' as they were known then.

_'I wonder what Edward's doing?' _I imagined him racing through the forest in pursuit of some sort of prey; perhaps an elk...or a mountain lion...or a person. I shuddered. No, maybe not that, the Cullens were 'vegetarians'. His golden eyes came to mind, filled with anger as usual.

"Stop it," I muttered under my breath.

"Did you say something?" Bella whispered.

"No."

I forced myself to concentrate on the story again, but suddenly it seemed impossible to shut him out of my mind completely and I recalled what Sam had told me about Imprinting. A wolf who had Imprinted, as Sam and Jared both had now, would find that their mission in life became making their Imprint happy, supporting them, protecting them, making sure they appealed to that person in every way. When they were separated from their Imprint for any length of time, they would begin to feel physical pain.

"Fuck," I muttered. How the hell was I going to get around that?

"Jake, what's wrong with you?" Bella whispered again.

"Nothing," I hissed.

"Jacob, I know you've heard this story before, but Bella and the three newest pack members haven't, so please have the courtesy to stay silent and not spoil it for them," Dad said firmly.

"I'm sorry, Dad."

I hung my head and squeezed my eyes shut. An image of Edward immediately invaded my mind, glowering at me. His face was almost as pale as the white shirt he was wearing, golden eyes flashing, his ridiculous hair all over the place. I opened my eyes again and tried to force him out of my thoughts, but he wouldn't go. My mind continued to wander as Dad went on with the story.

The Imprintee usually felt the pull of it - Emily and Kim both did. Did that mean Edward would feel it too? Even if I kept it from him, would he guess? If he was receptive to it, what then? The thought of him getting anywhere near me repulsed me. In effect he was dead - cold, hard flesh with no heartbeat. I Imprinted on a corpse...a _male_ corpse. My gorge threatened to rise and I swallowed hard. Why would fate do that to me? I wasn't interested in guys, not even a little bit. In all honesty, I'd only just started paying attention to girls when Bella came back to Forks and she was the only one I had ever imagined kissing and making love to. Now thinking about her in that way was like fantasising about Rebecca or Rachel. I clenched my teeth and gulped again.

_'Why did this have to happen to me?'_

The rest of the evening passed slowly and I was glad when the meeting came to an end. I wanted nothing more than to be alone, but I still had to drive Bella back to her house in Forks where Edward would be waiting to keep watch through the night. We travelled mostly in silence now, Bella tired and yawning after the long day and me tense at the prospect of seeing Edward again, even if it was only for a few seconds before I took off. I would be able to suppress the thoughts I didn't want him to pick up on as I had earlier, but what worried me more was the fact that my heartrate was speeding up as I got closer to where he was. I hated the position I was in and I had no idea how I was going to deal with it for...the rest of my life, I supposed. It wasn't like I could even talk to Dad or Sam about it and get their advice. I could imagine the conversation.

_"Hey, Sam, I Imprinted on Edward Cullen."_

_"What the fuck? Jacob, you freak!"_

_"What can I do about it?"_

_"Nothing. You're stuck with him."_

Well, perhaps it wouldn't go quite like that - Sam was pretty sympathetic when he needed to be - but I didn't want him knowing about this. Once he knew, the rest of the pack would, and then Emily and Kim, Dad, Sue, Old Quil, and on and on until everyone on the Res knew that the great grandson of Ephraim Black was eternally bound to a bloodsucker. No way was I going to talk about it.

I turned the Rabbit onto Bella's street and approached her house, my mind already fixed on what happened at the council meeting. Edward stepped out from behind a tree as I parked and my rapid pulse made it difficult to draw even breaths. I forced myself not to look at him and leaned across Bella to open the door for her, pausing there with my arm practically resting on her breasts for a moment before I pulled back and waited for her to exit the car.

"Thanks, Jake, I'll see you tomorrow," she said and closed the door.

In a few more seconds I was driving back the way I had come. That hadn't been so bad after all and I relaxed slightly. It seemed I was pretty good at keeping thoughts hidden and so long as I could keep it up when I was with the pack and phased, maybe it would be ok. Who was I kidding? He was my Imprint. It had only been twelve hours, but if Sam and Jared were anything to go by, I would be longing to see him by morning and that I didn't even want to contemplate.

I slept fitfully that night and woke at dawn. As I lay there in the semi-darkness, my eyes still closed, my first thought was of Edward. Usually it was of Bella, or food, or Bella, but today Edward was all I could think about and I groaned aloud, burying my face under the pillow. Shit, it did really happen. He was my Imprint and I wanted to see him. I wanted to see him and hang out with him, like we were friends; I wanted to make him like me; I wanted to stop with the thoughts about Bella that I knew upset him so much. I saw it differently now - that anguished look on his face every time I pictured myself with my tongue in Bella's mouth and my hands under her shirt wasn't only rage, it was hurt and perhaps fear that one day she might want me instead of him.

"Oh, fuck," I moaned, folding my arms over the top of the pillow and pressing it onto my face. If I changed the way I behaved he would know something was going on and I would be in danger of letting my real thoughts out, which meant all I could do was continue to think about Bella in the same way when he was near enough to read my mind. I had to consciously hurt my own Imprint to ensure that no one discovered my secret, when really what I wanted to do was tell him I wouldn't try to take her away from him if she was what made him happy.

As for me - what would make me happy? There was no prospect of me being with Bella now, even if she did want me. Would the Imprint make me want Edward the way it had made Sam want Emily, leaving Leah for her even though he hated himself for it? The idea of me wanting to be with a guy was bad enough, but a leech - it didn't bear thinking about and for the first time I really couldn't see any point to my existence. Whatever happened to me, there was no chance of there being a satisfactory outcome. Fate had screwed me over and there wasn't a damned thing I could do about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone for reading and for your great reviews. Here's a little more of poor Jacob's torment for you ;o)**

CHAPTER TWO

I hauled myself out of bed and went to shower. I still had three hours before I had to go and meet Bella again and I scrubbed myself and went to make breakfast. Dad wasn't up yet and I decided to make grilled cheese. I spread eight slices of bread on a tray and began to carve thick pieces of cheese. I couldn't imagine what it must be like being a vampire, never being able to enjoy food again. I wondered what he was doing right at that moment and a horrible thought which I hadn't previously considered occurred to me. What if it didn't matter how far apart we were? What if he could still pick up on my thoughts? What if wherever he was right now he knew I was thinking about him - cursing myself over the fact that I Imprinted on him?

"Oh, God," I groaned. He probably knew everything. He was probably just waiting for an opportunity to use it to get even with me for all the times I'd tormented him with my thoughts about Bella. I needed to find out for sure and the only way I could think of would be to ask Bella about it, which would make her question why I was suddenly interested in anything about Edward. Maybe if I made it sound like I _wanted _him to know what I was thinking so I could annoy him...

"Morning, son." Dad rolled into the kitchen and I almost jumped out of my skin. "You're burning your toast."

"Shit," I muttered quietly. "Morning, Dad. Do you want grilled cheese?"

"As long as you cut the burned bits off," he smiled. "Are you alright?"

"I was miles away," I said truthfully.

"You look tired."

"I didn't sleep too well. I guess I was thinking about what's happening at the moment. It seems like it'll only be a matter of time before the pack's needed for real."

"I sometimes wish the gene hadn't appeared in you," Dad said with a sigh.

"Not half as much as I do, I bet," I murmured.

"You're worried about what's coming?"

"Not really, I just wish I was a normal kid. If the worst thing I had to concentrate on was school tests, I'd be happy."

Dad smiled. "You'll do fine. I know that when the time comes, you'll make your great grandfather proud."

"Don't you think he'd be disappointed I turned down the Alpha role?"

"No, he'd be happy you made a decision that's right for you and Sam's a good leader."

I continued chatting to him for a while as we ate breakfast, then went to my room to pass the time until it was time to set off to meet Bella. As the hands on the clock crawled slowly around towards nine, butterflies filled my stomach and I wished those last few minutes would go more quickly. I had always been excited at the prospect of seeing Bella and today was no exception. I managed to convince myself of that fact as I shoved my feet into my boots and grabbed a long-sleeved t-shirt to cover myself up so that I wouldn't upset Edward by flaunting my body in front of him again. As I drove off to meet them, I refused to acknowledge the fact that it was him I was eager to see, rather than her.

I parked up in the same place as the previous day, climbed out of the car and leaned against it, watching the road as my heart hammered and my mouth went dry.

_'Godamnit, Jacob, get yourself under control. He must be laughing his ass off by now at the state of you.'_

I frowned as a black Mercedes came into view and slowed as it approached. I could see Bella in the passenger seat and after another couple of seconds I recognised Alice Cullen driving. My heart plummeted and I felt suddenly as if my breath had been sucked out of me. I wasn't going to see him and I was furious with myself for being so disappointed. This was what Sam and Jared talked about; their pain during the absence of their Imprints. It hadn't wasted any time kicking in with me and I immediately hated it.

"Are you alright, Jake? You look about ready to kill someone."

I jumped for the second time that morning at the sound of Bella's voice and I shook myself and at the same time tried to shake off the ridiculous feeling of longing that was invading me.

"Fine...sorry...nice ride," I commented, indicating the Mercedes as Alice waved and drove off.

"Edward needed to hunt this morning," she said by way of explanation. "Only Alice and Rosalie stayed behind and Rose hates me." She grimaced. "I don't really know what her problem with me is; she acts like she's jealous or something."

"Maybe she'd rather have Edward than Emmett," I smirked.

"Don't be stupid, Jake, she's been married to Emmett for years."

"I don't think having a ring on your finger means you can't want anyone else." I wondered how I could move the conversation to Edward's mind-reading ability. "Alice is the one that sees the future, isn't she?" I asked.

"Yes, she has visions. They all have abilities. Carlisle has exceptional self-control, Jasper can alter people's emotions...and of course Edward reads minds. Except mine, I don't know why he can't, even he doesn't know."

I was delighted. She had brought it up herself and now it wouldn't seem strange for me to ask. "What sort of range does he have?"

"What do you mean?" Bella frowned.

"I mean, can I still get up his nose with my thoughts if I'm ten miles from him?" I said with a grin.

"No, he has to be close enough to see you. Jacob, I wish you wouldn't upset him like that, it's not fair."

"Sorry, I can't help myself, he's an easy target." Bella glared at me and I held up both hands in mock surrender. "Alright, I'll try not to piss him off so much, I promise." I heaved a sigh of relief. So long as he couldn't see me, I could relax. He didn't know what had happened and I meant for it to stay that way. The only thing I still had to worry about was how I was going to control the turmoil inside me.

We spent part of the day back at my place hanging out in the garage and then went down to the beach for a walk. It was late afternoon by then and I was beginning to ache as if I was coming down with something. I felt as if part of me was missing and when Bella occasionally happened to mention Edward, my stomach flipped over. I was furious with myself. Why the hell had I looked at him the day before? I had only done it to gloat and if I hadn't, this would never have happened. I wondered if any shifter had ever succeeded in denying their Imprint; would Sam have been able to turn his back on Emily and stay with Leah if he had been determined enough? He didn't seem to think so, but maybe he had secretly wanted Emily anyway. Maybe it was only the shock of it that had made me look at Bella differently. I tried to remember how I had felt about her thirty-six hours before. She had been all I wanted and I thought about her constantly, longed for her to want me, dreamed of kissing and touching her, having her fall in love with me.

"Jake? You've been drifting off into your own world all day," she said suddenly. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I just had some things to think about. Sorry if I'm lousy company."

"You're not, it's alright. There's nothing wrong with companionable silence."

She smiled up at me and I decided to test what I had been considering. I didn't think it through properly, I just lifted my hands to her face and planted my lips on hers. She didn't move and I tried again with another deeper kiss. I felt nothing, except for her shock and then rage as she jerked away from me and threw a punch at me. I barely felt it when her fist collided with my jaw, but a second later she was doubled over, clutching her hand and cursing me.

"Are you made of stone or something?" she cried.

"We're just tough, I guess. I'm so sorry," I groaned.

"Sorry? What the hell is wrong with you, Jacob? I thought we were friends! I know you don't like Edward, but I thought you would at least have a little respect for _my_ feelings! I can't believe you did that! Edward's going to be furious!" She turned away and began to march off the beach to the car, still holding her hand to her chest. I hurried to catch her up.

"Don't tell him then," I said. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"You mean keep a secret from him. I don't keep secrets from him, I love him! You know that and still you have to betray his trust and mine! Take me home!"

"Alright, I'm sorry," I said again, opening the car door for her. I was more sorry that the kiss hadn't aroused any excitement in me; it hadn't brought back the feelings I had for her; all it did was make me feel guilty for doing something that would hurt _him._

We sat in silence as I drove her back to Forks to her Dad's house and she pulled her phone out to text Edward, letting him know where to pick her up. We arrived only a minute or so before him and had just got out of the car when his Volvo pulled up. Bella had asked what the hell was wrong with me and really, I wasn't sure myself when I went ahead and made things worse by visualising myself kissing Bella on the beach. Edward flew out of the car and appeared in front of me faster than the eye could see.

"Don't you _ever_ touch her again!" he snarled and thrust both hands out towards my chest. It was like being punched by steel and I was lifted off of my feet and thrown back against the Rabbit. He was considerably stronger than me and it infuriated me.

"Edward, stop!" Bella cried in horror as I scrambled up, a touch winded.

"I guess that depends on Bella, doesn't it?" I said cockily. "She's eventually going to realise she'd rather have a warm body to snuggle up with at night and I'll be right here waiting when she does."

"Jacob!" Bella cried. "Why are you doing this? What kind of friend are you? Do you really not care anything for how I feel?"

"Of course I do, I'm sorry," I said, noticing Charlie emerging from the house.

"You're not sorry!" Edward hissed. "You probably did it more to piss me off than because you wanted to!"

"You have a fucking high opinion of yourself, Cullen!" I hissed back.

Once again he moved impossibly fast, his hands gripping the front of my shirt. I wrapped my hands around his wrists immediately to pry them off, but of course he was immovable. I looked down at his hands, white and ice cold and shuddered at the feel of them. I had never touched a dead person before. I raised my eyes again, just in time to see his change from gold to black. He was losing control of himself.

"Alright, guys, time to calm down," Charlie said suddenly, appearing beside us. "Back up, now." He glared at Edward and then looked at me with raised eyebrows. He didn't like Edward, I realised and I didn't suppose this incident was going to raise him any in Charlie's estimation. The man would probably not want Bella to see someone who attacked one of her friends for no apparent reason.

"I think you had better go home, Edward," he said firmly.

"Dad, Edward didn't do anything," Bella began to protest.

"I saw what happened right before I came out. I'm not happy about you being in the company of someone with violent tendencies." He glowered at Edward again and I quickly stuck my awe in. The way things were going, the outcome would be that Edward couldn't see Bella and would be miserable and in addition, Bella wouldn't have the protection she needed right now.

"Don't blame him, it was my fault," I said.

Charlie's eyes flew to me and widened. "How can it be your fault? I didn't see you do anything."

"I kissed Bella," I said. "She punched me in the face and I made things worse by rubbing Edward's nose in it. I can't really blame him for being mad, I was a jerk. I'm sorry, Bella. She hurt her hand too, I think you should let Edward take her to his Dad to get it looked at." I didn't look directly at Edward, but I could see the surprised look on his face from the corner of my eye.

"Well..." Charlie said, clearly stunned and unable to think of a suitable response.

"That's exactly what happened," Bella confirmed. "And my hand is killing me, so can I go with Edward please?"

"Sure...of course, that's best," Charlie nodded.

"I'm going to go home," I said then and headed towards the Rabbit without another word. I drove quickly out of Forks and then let out the thoughts I had been suppressing with difficulty since Edward had arrived. I felt sick with myself for adding fuel to the fire I had already created by kissing Bella. He was upset and pissed and I didn't want that; I had gone overboard in my attempt not to let on that the minute his car pulled up, my heart leaped into my mouth and when he appeared in front of me the almost physical pain that had been inside me all day evaporated as if it had never been. Kissing Bella hadn't made me feel anything, except maybe discomfort that I was locking lips with a girl who could be my sister. All the whole episode had done was annoy my Imprint even more than usual and it seemed that there was no way I could fight against it the way I hoped. I was going to have to accept that fate had picked him for me for some reason as yet unknown - and possibly completely fucked up - and in the meantime at least try to ease up on tormenting him.

I went to my room the minute I got in. Dad was asleep in front of the television and didn't notice me, much to my relief. I lay on my bed in the darkness, going over and over everything in my mind until my head ached. For a few minutes I even tried to forget that Edward was with Bella and that we were sworn enemies, in an effort to work out what my true opinion of him was. If we were just two guys who knew each other, what would I think of him? I didn't think he was particularly interesting, although to be fair I didn't really know much about him. Bella said he was gifted on the piano, he drove a car like he had been born behind the wheel and he could recite the entire script of 'Romeo and Juliet' without once glancing at the book, but none of that impressed me. Strangely it was the traits he had as a vampire which drew my attention more - his incredible strength which was far superior to mine, much as I hated to admit it; the speed he moved at, although I guessed he wouldn't be able to outrun me by much if I were in wolf form. His coldness repulsed me and I shuddered at the thought of how his skin felt when I had gripped his wrists. How could Bella want him kissing her, holding her hand, touching her? Did she sleep with him? The thought made me feel sick and it was actually a relief that I had that type of physical reaction. If the day ever came when I desired his touch, the best thing for me would be to throw myself off the cliffs.

I must have fallen asleep eventually and I woke at dawn, still in my clothes. Groaning, I got up and went to use the bathroom, then returned to my room and glanced at my phone. I had received a text message at some time last night and I opened it up, discovering it was from Bella.

'My hand is fine, but I'm mad with you and so is Edward. I think we need to stay away from each other for a while. The Cullens will take turns staying home to look out for me. Carlisle will let Sam know when you're all needed. B.'

"Fuck!" I growled. My first thought when I read her message had been that I wouldn't see Edward - not even for a few seconds when he brought her to me on the days that he wasn't doing something else. My heart began to race and I broke out in a sweat, my stomach knotting up and threatening to make me vomit. I pushed my window open and leaned out, taking deep breaths of the cool air and trying to relax. I had brought all of this on myself in an attempt to deny what had happened to me and all I had succeeded in doing was making things worse for myself.

The morning crawled by. I told Dad in brief what had happened, guessing Charlie would probably tell him anyway the next time they talked. Dad hated the fact that Bella was seeing Edward, fearing for her safety and he wasn't happy to hear that I had been told to stay away from them. He had felt better knowing she was to spend her days with me, but now that was over and she would be with one or other of the Cullens constantly.

"They won't hurt her," I heard myself say. "Edward loves her and the others will protect her for him if nothing else."

Dad looked at me in surprise. "I thought you hated Edward Cullen."

"I do, but only because I wanted Bella for myself for so long and she's with him. I don't doubt that she's safe with him."

He nodded slowly. "So what are your plans now? I haven't spoken to Sam in a couple of days."

"Back on patrol," I said. I had sent Sam a text a little while ago to let him know I was no longer on Bella-guarding duty and he had instructed me to patrol with Embry and Quil that afternoon and evening. I had been let off for the past two days. Sam had been furious to learn that I had wound Edward up to the extent that he refused to let Bella spend any more time with me, he being of the same opinion as Dad that she wouldn't be entirely safe with the Cullens and that there was always the danger of them breaking the treaty and changing her. She had told me once that she had asked Edward to change her after graduation and the thought had horrified me, but I hadn't really taken it seriously then. No one in their right mind could possibly _want _to turn into a walking corpse, right?

The hours I spent with Embry and Quil were difficult to say the least. I determinedly kept my thoughts to myself to prevent them from finding out about the Imprint, which led to them asking endless questions, given that usually my mind was an open book and they had been bored to tears hearing my constant inner monologue about Bella. I told them I was pissed because of a disagreement with her and Edward and that I didn't want to think about her at the moment and they seemed to accept that, but as the evening wore on it only grew more difficult for me. My chest hurt and my stomach felt as if it had been punched and I knew it was because twenty-four hours had passed since I saw Edward and my dumb wolf was beginning to ache for even a glimpse of its Imprint.

By the time Jared, Paul and Leah took over the patrol at midnight, I was exhausted both mentally and physically and I ran home, phased outside my bedroom window and climbed inside, collapsing on the bed immediately. I was overheated and sweaty, my head and chest ached and now that I was finally relaxed, the only thing in my mind was Edward. I could see his face, eyes black and furious the way they had been when his hands gripped my shirt the previous night. I needed to see him and I couldn't and it was beginning to eat me up inside. If I felt like this after one day, God help me. I rolled over and pressed my face into the pillow, curling my hands into fists and digging my nails into my palms. I had no idea what to do for the best and it seemed that there was no solution. He didn't want me anywhere near Bella and without her, there was no reason for me to see him at all. I was just going to have to suffer until something happened that brought the coven and the pack together.

A/N: A few of my friends have some great stories posted, some complete and some in progress - go check them out if you haven't already ;)

elfprincess8, ant1gon3, Soundshield11, TurnItUp03, ArekWithlock


	3. Chapter 3

**As always, thank you for reading and leaving me your comments. All of you who are reading "Healing..." as well, don't worry, another chapter is on the way, probably tomorrow. So much for me sticking to a rotation with the two! ;o)**

CHAPTER THREE

I couldn't stand it any longer. It had been four days and I had heard nothing from Bella, not even so much as a text message. Not that I cared about that; well, I cared that my friend was pissed at me, but that wasn't my main problem. Almost one hundred endless hours had passed since I saw Edward and it was killing me - maybe not literally, but it sure felt that way. My whole body ached, but in particular my chest and although I tried to convince myself I had mono or some other virus, I knew it was nothing of the sort. I sweated and shivered and I had an almost uncontrollable urge to race over to the Cullens' house and demand to see him, even if it ended with us having another fight; even if everyone found out about my Imprint. At the same time I was furious that I was in this position and I fought against it with everything I had, which only exhausted me and didn't lessen the pain one bit.

I told Dad I was sick and after taking one look at me, he had sent me to bed, called Sam to say I wasn't fit to patrol and threatened me with a doctor's visit if I didn't improve by the weekend. I almost told him - almost - but how could I explain I was sick with longing for an Imprint I couldn't admit to, which would cause embarrassment to the pack and the whole tribe? I even went to the extent of searching the internet for school yearbooks and social networking pages in the hopes that Edward might have some kind of listing. Maybe if I saw his picture I would calm down a little. Sure enough Forks High School's website had articles featuring students who had excelled in one thing or another and Edward was mentioned for his musical ability. There was a photograph of him, wearing a grey shirt which made his skin look paler than ever, his eyes golden brown, lips curved up into a sheepish grin. I couldn't ever remember seeing him smile for real, unless it was a sneer and I stared at the picture for several minutes before I realised it was pointless. It didn't ease my suffering and if anything, it only made the pain in my chest more acute because it wasn't really him, only an image.

"Fuck," I muttered, slamming down the lid of my laptop. There was only one thing that would make me feel better and trying to achieve that would be incredibly risky.

It was late evening and I knew Dad had already gone to bed. Three pack members would be out patrolling, but I knew I could avoid them well enough. The only problem would be if I ran into one of the Cullens on their land. In human form I would be slow and conspicuous and in wolf form, I would smell much stronger and be in danger of them catching my scent from a greater distance. Either way I would be risking a hell of a lot by doing what I now knew I had no choice but to go ahead and do.

I slipped quietly out of my window and phased, then ran under cover of darkness through the Reservation, keeping off the roads and close to the trees wherever I could. I closed my mind so the patrolling pack members wouldn't pick me up and raced off towards Forks. I had felt weak as a kitten as I made my way slowly away from the house, but the closer I got to the Cullens' land, the stronger I felt. I flew into the trees and made my way towards the huge house, praying I wouldn't run into any of them or pass downwind of them and draw attention to myself.

I could see lights through the trees and I slowed my pace, approaching silently, my heart hammering against my ribs, ears pricked for the slightest sound. The front of the house and the wide parking area in front with several cars on it came into view and I stepped forward cautiously, the high ground I was on level with the upper windows of the house. One brightly lit room revealed Alice and Bella, clearly illuminated as they sat talking and playing a card game and in another I could see Jasper alone, reading a book. They looked like any normal family, I thought. I don't know what I expected to see vampires doing when they thought no one was watching, but somehow I thought it would be different.

I circled slowly, making my way around towards the rear and descending on a path to lower ground. I was still a hundred yards from the building itself, but with my piercing wolf eyes I could see clearly and now my ears picked up a sound - the piano. Edward played the piano!

My eyes searched the lit rooms for the source of the sound and I noticed a large lounge area with its windows standing open, the lights dimmed but bright enough for me to see in. A grand piano stood off to one side and Edward was seated at it, sideways on to the window, playing a classical piece which I vaguely recognised. I let out a huge sigh and with it, all the pain I had been in for days left me. I dropped to my haunches and then let my front paws slide out in front of me until I sprawled on my belly on the damp ground. I slowly lowered my head and rested my nose on my paws, my eyes fixed on the distant figure at the piano, one ear forward listening to the music, the other twitching back and forth, alert for any sound which might pose a threat. For the first time since I Imprinted I felt at peace and I didn't move a muscle until he finished playing a few minutes later and got to his feet.

_'Don't stop!' _I thought fiercely and then shut my mind down again quickly, cringing and hoping he hadn't heard. My heart began to pound as I waited for him to turn around and look out the window, but to my relief he made no sign he had heard my demand; obviously I was too far away. Instead he went to a nearby shelf and returned with a large thin book in his hands - music, I realised - and opened it out before propping it on the rack above the piano keys and sitting down again. I relaxed and listened as he began to play a more lively piece, his hands moving swiftly over the keys, the beautiful sounding drifting through the windows to where I lay.

I lost track of time, but eventually I saw Carlisle Cullen appear in the room and speak to Edward and he stopped his playing abruptly, closing the lid of the piano and standing up. A moment later Alice and Bella appeared and then Edward led Bella out of the room. I rose to my feet slowly and shook myself, staying put until a few minutes later I heard an engine start up at the front of the house and a car's headlights shone through the trees as it headed down the driveway towards the road. Edward must be taking Bella home. I shook myself vigorously again and decided it was time I went home too. He was gone anyway, but at least I felt better. The pain was gone and I felt alert and positive, all of the tension and fear that had built up over the past few days having left me completely.

I made my way slowly through the trees, working my way around the house to the front and then heading down towards the road. It had begun to rain now and I was glad of it, knowing it would quickly wash away the scent of me in the woods. I made it safely back to Quileute land, managing not to come across anyone, including the pack patrol. I reached the house minutes later, phased back outside my window and slipped inside, dropping quietly onto my bed and stretching out on my back. My clock told me I had been out for more than two hours, although it didn't seem anywhere near that long. I felt - elated; I supposed that was the best way to describe it. Listening to Edward play the piano had been quite moving and my heart was still racing from the whole experience. At least just looking at him from a distance seemed to be all that was needed to satisfy the craving I felt.

It took me about ten minutes to come back to reality and think about how crazy it was that I had put myself and the pack in danger by venturing onto Cullen land and lurking outside their house like a voyeur, but I knew that there was nothing else I could have done and I would repeat the exercise if I had to, rather than subject myself to such torment again. I finally accepted that there was no fighting an Imprint - it was like a drug that a shifter had to have to keep going and I was no use to anybody lying on my bed shivering in pain.

That night I slept well and when I rose I felt almost normal. I showered and went to make breakfast, surprising Dad who said he was about to come to my room to see how I was doing.

"I guess I shook it off, whatever it was," I said. "I just needed sleep - and now I need food." I was ravenous, no doubt a combination of my late-night excursion and my wolf having been almost starved for the past four days when the very thought of eating made me feel sick. Now I tucked into an enormous plateful of bacon, eggs and toast before calling Sam to let him know I was back on my feet and fit to patrol.

"Glad to hear it," he said. "We need to sort out this...situation...between you and the Cullens and Bella."

"What situation?" I bit my lip, wondering if Sam somehow knew what I'd been up to last night. What if somehow I hadn't been as careful as I thought I had and the patrol had sensed me or smelled me?

"The fight with Edward over Bella. We're supposed to be working with the coven against any outside threat and at the moment they're keeping their distance because of what happened. They're holding a graduation party tomorrow at their house, open to anyone, and I want you, Embry and Quil to go and mend some bridges."

"Mend bridges?" I echoed.

"Talk to Edward and Bella and sort this shit out, Jacob. Embry and Quil will be there to make sure you don't lose it again and make things worse."

"I didn't even do anything!" I exclaimed. "I kissed Bella and Edward got mad and attacked me."

"Exactly. Wouldn't you expect any guy to go for you if you went after his girl? None of us like the fact that Bella is with a vampire, but since she's hell bent on staying with him, causing friction between them and us isn't the way to carry on. We need to get along with them so we can at least make sure she's being taken care of and that they're not breaking the treaty by changing her."

"She wants them to change her," I blurted out.

There was silence at the other end of the phone for a moment.

"She told you that?" Sam asked tersely.

"Uh...yeah, she said she wanted Edward to change her after graduation so she doesn't grow any older than him."

"Damnit, Jacob, why didn't you say something before?" growled Sam. "The condition of peace between us and them is that they never bite or try to change a human. It makes no difference whether she wants it or not."

"What good would me telling you earlier have done?" I snapped. "You think you can separate her from Edward? I'd love to see you try, they're practically joined at the hip."

"You're still jealous," Sam observed.

"I can't just switch my feelings off like a faucet, Sam. You of all people should know that."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Look, go to the party like I said and don't create any more trouble. If we can find a way to work together with them again, we can at least keep an eye on her."

"And what will you do if Edward does change her?" I asked.

"Kill him. We would have no choice," Sam said grimly.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed. He may as well have kicked me in the guts and I sat down suddenly on the floor, still holding the phone. If they killed him, I would die; actually give up and die if the last four days just not seeing him had been any indication. It was against pack rules to hurt another's Imprint, but if I told them he was mine in order to save him, they would most likely throw me out of the pack anyway. I wasn't quite sure which was worse. Announcing what had happened wouldn't exactly make him want to be my best friend all of a sudden - he would probably avoid me like the plague, which wouldn't be a great deal different from him being dead.

"Jacob! Are you still there? What's the matter with you?" Sam was calling. "I thought you'd have been pleased to hear that."

"I...I am...uh...Sam, if Edward changes Bella and then we kill him, she'll fight us too. Would you expect me to kill the girl I love?"

"Do you really think you'd still have feelings for her if she was changed?" Sam said. "I don't think so. Better she be dead than a leech."

The conversation ended shortly after and I was left feeling sick and panicked all over again. If I had thought I was in an impossible position before, the idea that the pack would be obliged to kill Edward if he changed Bella only made things worse for me. I could try to change her mind, or at least make her delay things, but I didn't really fancy my chances, especially if she still didn't want to talk to me.

There was of course one good thing about going to the party, which was in less than thirty-six hours; I wouldn't need to go creeping off at night like a criminal and spying through the Cullens' windows at least for a few more days.

By Saturday night of course, I was jumpy and aching once again and anxious to just get on the road. Quil had walked over to my house and we had taken Dad's truck to collect Embry, who lived at the other side of the Reservation. He wasn't ready and I could see Quil hovering on the porch waiting, while I bounced my knees and drummed my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel.

"For fuck's sake, Embry, hurry up!" I growled under my breath. My heart was racing and my palms sweaty. I kept having to take them off the wheel and wipe them on my jeans. I had told Quil I was excited about seeing Bella and he merely said I really needed to get over it and find a single girl.

Finally the pair of them walked over to the truck and climbed in and I forced myself to drive normally rather than slam my foot down on the gas and push the vehicle to its limits.

"I'm surprised Sam didn't want to come along himself," Embry said.

"He probably thinks he's too old for a graduation party," Quil grinned. "Are you going to be ok, Jake?"

"Of course I'm ok," I snapped.

"What if Edward winds you up again?" asked Embry. "Sam will go mad if we end up fighting with them."

"There won't be any fighting," I said determinedly. "He told me to build bridges; that's what I'm going to do. I don't want to lose Bella completely."

I parked the truck outside the Cullens' house ten minutes later. A couple dozen cars were already outside and loud music could be heard coming from the open front door. I would rather have listened to Edward's piano playing, I decided, and then shoved the thought away quickly, grimacing. I wiped my hands on my jeans again and licked my dry lips as I climbed the front steps and walked in, Quil and Embry following closely.

People milled about inside, some with plates of food or drinks in their hands and a crowd were dancing in one of the large lounges. The first Cullen we came across was Emmett and he approached with narrowed eyes and his mouth set in a thin line.

"We don't want any trouble," he said. "Sam spoke to Carlisle about some of you coming tonight, but if there's so much as a hint of a problem..."

"You don't need to worry, there won't be," Embry interrupted quickly. "We're here to build some bridges, not tear more down."

"Just so long as you remember that." He eyed me when he said this. "Remember there are seven of us and only three of you mutts."

I growled under my breath at the insult and Quil elbowed me hard in the ribs. Emmett turned and walked off.

"For God's sake, don't start anything," Quil hissed at me.

"I'm not going to," I frowned, my eyes swivelling around, searching through the crowds for Edward. I knew he wasn't far away, I could feel him, or at least my wolf could. It was calmer but excited at the same time, the way it had been when I had last seen him.

"Jake."

I looked down at the sound of Bella's voice.

"Hey." I tried a smile, but she didn't return it.

"What are you doing here? You weren't invited," she said.

"Sam sent us; he spoke to Carlisle about it," I told her. "I wanted the opportunity to say I'm sorry, Bella. For the kiss, for upsetting Edward, everything. I was a jerk and I want us to be friends again; I miss you. Can you forgive me?"

"Will you apologise to Edward too?" she asked.

"If I must," I grunted.

"You must. And promise me you'll stop tormenting him. Then I'll forgive you."

"Alright, fine," I said, doing my best to sound grudging when really I was glad of the opportunity to seek him out. "Where is he?"

"In the music room."

I moved one step and then halted quickly, remembering I wasn't supposed to know where that was.

"Which way?"

"Through the lounge there and out the far door," Bella said, pointing.

"I'll be back in a minute," I told Quil and Embry.

They looked at me doubtfully, but then headed off in the direction of a table spread out with food and I made my way through the lounge filled with dancers and out of the far door. Edward was sorting through a pile of music books on a long coffee table, clearly not interested in joining the party, and he got to his feet the second I entered the room. I determinedly kept my thoughts to myself as I had promised Bella.

"Gate-crashing, Black?" he said before I could speak.

"Don't you leeches talk to each other?" I snapped before I could stop myself. "Sam sent three of us; he talked to Carlisle about it."

Edward's eyes narrowed. "I know that, but he didn't say which of the dogs he was sending."

I bristled again and tried not to let him rile me. I called them leeches after all, I suppose I couldn't blame him. He smirked now and I cursed myself for thinking too much.

"So what _are _you doing here?" he asked me. "I don't mean at the house, obviously, I mean in here, presumably looking for me."

Damn him. "For Bella, I'm promising to stop fucking with you," I gritted out. "For the pack, I'm making sure she's safe; that you haven't changed her and aren't planning to."

"I don't want to change her," he said quickly. "I never wanted that. To end her life and give her an eternity like this..." He indicated himself. "...to keep her with me? I'm not that selfish."

"But she said it was going to happen after graduation."

"That's what she wanted. I said no and she agreed to wait, at least for the time being."

"Well, that's...I guess that's good then," I replied, surprised.

"So now what?" he asked, glancing past me towards the door I had walked through. I spotted a mirror on the opposite wall and looked at the reflection in it, seeing Bella hovering in the room of dancers, clearly watching us.

_'I guess we shake hands, to make her happy if nothing else,'_ I thought. I picked one foot up to move towards him, but before I could step forward he was in front of me, offering his hand. I placed my hand in it and we shook. Still I couldn't suppress a shudder of revulsion at the feel of his cold hard flesh and his eyes flashed for a second before he increased the pressure of his hand until it threatened to crush my bones. Just when I thought I would have to let on that it was hurting, he let go and stepped past me towards the door. I turned quickly as Alice walked in, Bella beside her.

"She had another vision," Bella said.

"What did you see?" Edward asked urgently.

"They're coming. An army of newborns. They'll be here in four days."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who is reading and for the great reviews. I know a fair few of you are going to be happy with a particular event in this chapter! ;o)**

CHAPTER FOUR

Edward left the room quickly and summoned the rest of his family. Alice and Bella followed and I went looking for Quil and Embry.

"What happened?" Embry asked.

"Alice had a vision. What we've been waiting for is almost here. A whole army of the damned leeches," I said. "Come on, we need to be in on this discussion."

We joined the Cullens in the doctor's office, closing the door to shut out the sounds of the party and ensure none of the students heard us. Alice explained what she had seen and Carlisle asked me if I thought Sam would be willing to involve the pack in what was obviously going to be a serious battle.

"As long as we get to kill some vampires," I said and then bit my tongue. I hadn't meant to say that, but the habit of annoying Edward was hard to break, even now that I didn't actually want to mess with him.

For us, the party was already over. We talked for a while longer with the Cullens, accepting that we would all need to train for the arrival of the newborn army, the wolves having no experience of creatures which were even stronger than mature vampires, their strength coming from their lingering human blood. The Cullens proposed to hold training sessions in the meadow every day and I promised we would attend the next day. Embry, Quil and I left then and headed straight for Sam's to advise him of developments. Jared and Paul were both at his house already and he sent for the Clearwaters so that we could make our own plans. Sam sent Leah out on patrol with Jared and Embry after we had gone over the basics and the rest of us talked long into the night. What we had all been waiting for was on its way and all of us were filled with a kind of nervous excitement at the thought of our wolves fulfilling the role they had been created for.

The next afternoon, all eight of us made our way to the meadow, already phased. Sam insisted that we take no chances with seven vampires on neutral ground, but I knew even before we got there that it would piss them off. I almost protested, but reminded myself that I had refused the Alpha role and it was down to Sam to decide for us. Most of the Cullens were standing together waiting when we arrived and as we made our way slowly through the trees towards them, Edward's car pulled up and he and Bella got out of it.

"They don't trust us enough to appear in their human forms," he said as soon as he saw us.

"They're here, Edward, that's what's important," Carlisle said and then turned to face us. He began by welcoming us and explained that Jasper, who had experience of newborns, would take charge of the training and that Edward would translate where necessary by reading our minds. I could feel Sam's annoyance over the fact that we were in effect putting ourselves in the hands of a group of leeches and Paul's rage as he stood next to me was almost palpable.

_'Calm down, Paul,' _I thought. _'They need us as much as we need them,'_

_'Bullshit, we don't need a bunch of bloodsuckers,' _came Paul's response. _'Since when did you become such a big fan?'_

_'Since...' _ I closed my mind in horror, almost having let slip without even realising it. _'Since I heard a whole army that we don't have a hope of defeating on our own is on the way.'_

_'So why can't they deal with it?'_

_'A human is involved, in case you'd forgotten,' _Embry put in.

_'Guys! That's enough!' _Sam's growl filled all of our minds and I was amused to see Paul drop his head forward and stop arguing immediately. _'Apologies,' _Sam directed at Edward. _'Please continue.'_

"Go ahead, Jasper," Edward nodded.

Jasper began describing the behaviour and strength of newborns and then invited some of his family to begin demonstrating their speed and capabilities. All of us watched until our turn came to join in the sparring and Jasper paired each of us with one of them. Esme Cullen kept out of it and watched with Bella, leaving two wolves without a partner until the first session was over and two were switched. I was one of those who waited and watched along with Seth. Sam was paired with Carlisle and Paul with Edward. Paul's fury at the whole situation was still bubbling just below the surface and his thoughts were all fantasies about pinning Edward to the ground and ripping his arms off before crushing his head between his jaws. Edward had a smirk on his face which clearly said he was well aware of what Paul was thinking and knew he would put him on his ass with ease.

_'Do you think Paul will really do that?'_ Seth thought.

_'Not a chance. Watch.'_

Paul sprang at Edward, jaws wide, snarling, front paws outstretched ready to drive his claws into the vampire's chest. Edward moved so fast he was a blur, his feet landing squarely on the ground behind Paul in a split second. Paul turned, enraged, and hurled himself at Edward again, but he jumped straight up in the air and once again landed behind the wolf. An instant later he was on Paul, his arms around the wolf's back, squeezing his ribs and pulling him off his feet.

_'Get the fuck off of me!' _growled Paul furiously, struggling and tossing his head from side to side in an effort to catch one of the vampire's arms in his teeth. Edward tightened his arms and the wolf's snarl became a whimper of pain. Edward let go and moved away.

_'Impressive.'_ The thought left me before I could stop it and both Edward and Paul turned to look at me, Edward with one eyebrow raised in amusement and Paul with eyes flashing, ears laid back.

_'What the fuck, Jacob? Whose side are you on?'_ He bounded towards me and I tensed my body as he sprang at me, hitting me with full force. The pair of us rolled, a tangle of red and grey fur, Paul snapping at me in an attempt to sink his teeth in and me shoving at him with my paws in an effort to get him away from me.

_'What the hell is wrong with you two?' _Sam demanded. He had turned his back on Carlisle to watch us and immediately found himself pinned to the ground with the older vampire's hands gripping his neck. _'Alright, Carlisle, I get the point...never turn your back on your enemy like Jasper said. Let me up.'_

Paul scrambled to his feet, backed away from me and shook himself vigorously as Sam advanced towards us, lips peeled back from his teeth.

_'Pay attention to me, Paul. I will not tolerate this type of behaviour in the pack. Jacob is your brother and for the moment, the Cullens are our allies. Get it together!'_

Paul hung his head again. _'Sorry, Sam.'_

_'Sit here and watch for a while. Jacob, you're up...Edward needs a new partner.'_

I stood up and walked slowly towards Edward. Great; just great. Exactly what I wanted. Edward smirked.

"Worried, Jacob?"

_'Why would I be?'_

"We both know I'm stronger."

_'We'll see, won't we?' _ I began to circle him, forcing myself to stop thinking and letting him anticipate my moves, certain he could do that well enough without me picturing what I was planning. He circled with me, his eyes on me constantly. I sprang without really putting much effort into it and he stepped sideways easily.

"Come on, Jacob, you can do better than that."

_'I'm biding my time.'_

"You know Bella's only watching us right now. You better not really try to hurt me; she'll be upset."

_'You actually think I might?'_

_'Jacob, stop screwing around!' _Sam ordered.

"Better obey the Alpha order," Edward taunted, glancing at Sam.

I sprang again and this time he wasn't quite quick enough, much to my surprise. My front paws hit him in the chest with all my strength behind them and bore him to the ground. I extended my claws until they tore through his shirt and into his chest and he winced and gasped.

_'I didn't think vampires could feel pain,'_ I thought. He hadn't even tried to push me off, but was lying still.

"Of course we feel it; we just have a higher pain threshold than humans or animals."

_'Not even going to try and fight me off? Just going to lie there and give up?'_

_'I don't particularly want to thrash around and have you tear my flesh; but if you insist...'_

I didn't even see it coming. His moved too fast and I only realised what had happened when his fist slammed into the side of my face. I felt my jaw break, a tooth falling loose into my mouth and my cheekbone smashed. The shock and sudden pain was so intense that I phased back before I could stop it and I found myself lying naked on the ground, curled up on one side.

"Fuck..." I hissed, spitting out the tooth.

"Jacob! Oh, my God! Edward, what have you done?" cried Bella, rushing to me and kneeling beside me.

"I'm...fine...s'nothing," I mumbled.

"Hell, Edward, was that really necessary?" I heard Emmett's voice grumble. He stomped off towards the cars and returned a moment later, dropping a pair of sweats in front of me.

"I didn't realise wolves were so fragile," Edward grimaced.

"We're not." I pulled myself up and grabbed the sweats. I could feel the bones in my cheek moving as they began to knit back together slowly and I shifted my jaw from side to side, grunting in pain. I turned to look at the other wolves who had all stopped what they were doing and were staring at us, Sam and Paul both with anger at Edward. "I was distracted; I guess that just proves everything Jasper told us today. Anything less than one hundred percent concentration could get us killed."

"Edward, you're only supposed to be training, not trying to kill them," Bella said, ignoring me.

"Yes, but by training, we need to know what we're up against," I said, rubbing my face. "There's no point doing it in half measures or we won't be prepared."

"I can't believe you're not mad."

"I started it. Have you looked at him?" I indicated Edward, whose shirt sported eight holes over the chest area where my claws had punched through.

"Alright, everyone, let's get back to it," Carlisle interrupted now. "Edward and Jacob, you had better just observe for the moment."

I nodded and sat down on a rock close to Edward's Volvo.

"Do you need Carlisle to look at your face?" Esme offered.

"No, thanks, I'm ok. It's already starting to heal."

Edward dropped down to his haunches beside me. "Sam's pissed," he said.

"At me?"

"More with me. I guess I should apologise."

"Don't bother," I said, surprised. "I meant what I said. We're not ready. If you can lay me out that easily, we need to get our butts in gear before these newborns turn up, or we're toast."

"Are you finally admitting I'm stronger than you, Jacob?" The corner of Edward's mouth twitched up into a crooked smile.

"Not in a million. You caught me off guard."

"Right."

"One of these days you'll pay," I said with a small grin. "You knocked one of my fucking teeth out."

"Sorry."

"The hell you are."

"Can't you two stop fighting for even one minute?" Bella interrupted, appearing in front of us with hands on hips.

I just shrugged. "Wouldn't you think something was wrong with us if we didn't at least pretend to argue?"

Edward grinned again. His face was turned away from her and she couldn't see his expression. I turned my attention back to the sparring pairs and suddenly Edward leaped up, snatched Bella from her feet and landed several yards away, just before she was wiped out by Jared and Jasper hurtling by us. I stood up quickly and moved out of the way.

The session went on for perhaps another couple hours, by which time my cheek and jaw were healed and felt normal, with the exception of a missing tooth. The pack set off back to the Reservation and I gave Emmett his pants back, phased quickly and joined them. We spent the rest of the day together, talking about the impending battle and it was late evening before I went home. I felt good, I realised. For once I wasn't fighting with Edward and I had enjoyed being in his company, even during the slightly out of control sparring match.

For the next two days the pack and the Cullens continued the training sessions and on the third day we planned our strategy. Bella needed to be well away from the battlefield where the enemy, who Alice had seen were after her in particular, wouldn't find her. Edward planned to take her up into the mountains and camp there, only they needed one of the pack to carry her to disguise her scent. That fell to me. I would then stay with them until the morning when Seth would come up and relieve me, allowing me to go down and join the battle. Seth wasn't pleased in being kept out of things and Paul didn't hesitate in calling Edward a coward for staying at the camp with Bella rather than fighting with the rest of us.

"Someone has to stay with her, Paul, would you rather it were you?" Sam said.

"Guard the leech-lover? Fuck that!" grumbled Paul. "Anyway, we all know how much Jacob is going to love this - carrying Bella and pissing Cullen off all in one go."

I grinned, intending my expression to confirm what he had said rather than actually having to say anything and lie. Edward was already pissed, both from Paul's comments and the knowledge that he needed me to keep his girl safe. Now I gathered her up into my arms and she held onto my neck, bringing her face close to mine. She felt small and fragile and as I held her against my bare chest, Edward glowered, the easier mood which had developed between us during the training clearly long gone. I ignored him and began to head up the mountain at a trot, my strong legs making short work of the steep path.

It took maybe a couple hours to reach the location of the camp and we found Edward already up there, having pitched a tent and installed an Arctic-rated sleeping bag for Bella. He was pacing around in the snow, eyes black and angry as we arrived and I set Bella on her feet. She went to him quickly and slid her arms around him. I left them to it and wandered up the path a little further until I reached a spot with a good view, where I stayed until darkness fell.

When I returned to the tent, Bella had unpacked the bag of food Edward had brought up and now she passed me a pack of sandwiches. She was in the tent sheltering from the light snowfall which had started and I stayed outside, making short work of the food and feeling the snowflakes melt immediately they hit my hot skin. As it grew rapidly colder, Bella wriggled into the sleeping bag, still wearing her coat, hat, scarf and gloves and Edward entered the tent, firmly zipping the flap closed and leaving me outside. Shrugging, I sat on the stump of a tree, not really surprised I hadn't been invited into the tent.

An hour later, Bella's chattering teeth and soft gasps and groans as she shivered in the cold were audible from where I sat and I could feel anxiety and discomfort in my chest - Edward's worry for her being projected onto me, I realised. Cold as he was, he would be no help to her. I got up, yanked up the zipper on the tent and ducked inside. Bella was huddled on one side, shaking visibly while Edward sat a few feet away.

"You going to let me help, or wait until she gets frostbite?" I said, closing the tent flap again.

Edward just shook his head miserably and waved his hand towards Bella, indicating I should take care of her. I stepped over her and lay down, pulling her, sleeping bag and all, into my arms and immediately feeling her cold face against the heat of my shoulder.

"You're freezing, Bella," I muttered.

She sighed with apparent relief and pressed closer to me, causing Edward to groan and hang his head. Gradually Bella's shivering stopped and she nestled her face into my neck and drifted into sleep. I looked over at Edward who was sitting as far from us as he could get, the anguish on his face obvious even in the partial light. I could feel his pain emanating from him like a tightness in my own chest and I imagined he thought I was loving this opportunity to cuddle Bella. I wanted to make him feel better.

"I'm not going to try and take her away from you," I said quietly. He was silent for a moment before he turned to look at me.

"That's not what I was thinking."

"What then?" I asked, puzzled.

"What good am I to her? I mean, right now, when she's freezing? I can't be what she needs."

"This isn't really a common situation, Edward," I said.

"Don't tell me you're not enjoying it. I thought you were in love with her too."

"I was. But she's in love with you; I knew all along if I'm honest, that I never stood a chance. She only ever saw me as a friend."

"But at least you're mostly human and warm and alive; better for her than me."

"That doesn't make any difference if you're the one she wants and I know you are. I can't pretend to understand her choice, but it's hers to make."

"Thank you," Edward said softly.

We didn't talk any more, but he relaxed and his pain diminished. I closed my eyes and decided to catch a few hours' sleep before I would need all my strength for the battle.

"Seth's here."

Edward's voice woke Bella and me and I sat up quickly, realising it was bright daylight and quite late in the morning. I left the tent, briefly spoke to Edward and then phased so I could communicate with Seth. He was still sulky about being left out of the battle, but I convinced him protecting Bella was an important task and then left him there as I bounded quickly down the mountain. I could already hear the pack mind as they waited for the signal to spring on the enemy and by the time I got there, the battle was already underway.

The first thing I saw as I broke out of the trees was a crowd of vampires and wolves, springing, snapping, punching in what appeared to be a disorganised tangle, but it quickly became clear that the pack and the Cullens were working together to systematically destroy the army. I launched myself into it, my first victim being a tall girl vampire with blonde hair. I hit her in the back with my front paws, clamped my teeth onto the back of her neck and tore her head from her body before she could turn around. I looked for my next victim, hearing the thoughts of the other wolves all around me as each were successful in bringing down another of the newborns, often working in pairs to overpower them. I spotted Leah about to take on a large male and sprang towards her, each of us ripping off an arm before I knocked the creature to the ground and Leah tore off its head.

It was not long after this that I picked up on Seth's thoughts, as did the others. I immediately felt anxiety from them, especially Sam.

_'Victoria's after Bella. She has a male newborn with her.'_

_'Shit,' _Sam thought. _'Edward is strong, but he'll be protecting Bella. Seth's too inexperienced for this. Jacob, get back up there now and help.'_

I didn't hesitate. Seth was like my little brother and I broke away from the battlefield, heading back the way I had come only a short time ago. I concentrated my thoughts on both Seth and Bella, know that all the wolves would hear me, but inside, buried deep where they couldn't pick up on it, was my desire to get to my Imprint and protect him, whether he needed it or not. I put all of my energy into my legs and powered up the mountain, Seth's thoughts describing to me what was happening. Seth had torn off one of the male vampire's arms, but then been momentarily stunned by a kick in the head. He was just pulling himself back together and preparing to attack the newborn again, while Edward and Victoria circled each other, Bella keeping her distance behind a tree.

_'Oh, fuck, no, Jacob, hurry!' _Seth's mind screamed at me suddenly and I almost froze at the panic in the words, having to force myself to summon up greater speed.

_'What is it, Seth?'_

_'Bella...'_ His mind shut off suddenly and I realised he must have been hurt again.

I was still probably a thousand feet below the camp and I continued, not knowing what I was going to find when I got there, but anger and fear filling me. I could feel a much stronger emotion than Seth's as I drew closer - agony and desperation - and I realised quickly that it was Edward. His pain was like a punch to my chest, winding me and slowing my steps and I struggled on, dreading what I would see as I broke free of the trees and scrambled up between the scattered rocks on the last few yards. I paused, my eyes darting about and taking everything in. Seth, lying motionless in the snow; Victoria destroyed, her head torn from her body; Riley with three limbs missing, one leg still twitching, head thrashing from side to side; Bella...

_'No, please, no...'_ I whimpered.

Bella lay flat on her back, the snow beneath her stained red, blood still trickling from the huge tear in her throat. The legs of her pants and sleeves of her jacket were ripped off and her limbs covered in bite marks - bites which Edward was continuing to inflict upon her as he kneeled beside her.

_'What the hell are you doing?' _I cried.

He ignored me and I watched in horror as he bent forward and pressed his mouth to the hideous gash in her throat, then sat back, wiping her blood from his lips with his sleeve, and dropped his face into his hands. I looked away for a second as a sound alerted me and saw Seth on his feet again, making quick work of the crippled Riley before he moved slowly towards me.

_'Oh, God...'_ I had no idea what to say or think, but the agony coming from Edward was taking my breath away. I glanced at Seth again. '_Go down to the others. They'll probably have picked up on this by now, but tell them not to come up here. Are you alright?' _I added as an after-thought.

_'I'm ok. I'm sorry, Jake. I did the best I could.'_

_'I know that, Seth, it's ok. Go.'_

He went, leaving me with Edward who was still crouching beside Bella's body. I stayed where I was for a moment, looking at him, not knowing what to say to him, but guessing my thoughts which were running wild weren't helping. I was shocked, upset, angry, helpless and desperate to help.

Edward got up suddenly and turned away from Bella as if he couldn't bear to look at her any more. His hands and shirt were covered in her blood, but he didn't even seem to notice. He walked a little way up the path to the place I had sat looking at the view the day before and sank slowly to the ground, sitting with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around them. I followed and stood a few feet away.

"I was too late," he said brokenly. "I was dealing with Victoria and Riley got her. He had knocked Seth out, I think. I tried to save her; I mean I tried to change her, but she was too far gone." He fell silent again and closed his eyes.

I felt his agony more than I felt my own over the loss of my friend and I moved closer. If I had been in human form, I guessed I would have sat down beside him, given him a hug or something as strange as that seemed considering what we had been to each other up to now. But that would have ended up being plain awkward, especially considering if I phased back right now I would be naked unless I returned to the tent first.

_'Edward.' _ I sat down and stretched out slowly on my belly, my front paws resting in the snow under his raised knees. _'It's not your fault. You did everything you could.'_

"I was supposed to protect her," he whispered. "I couldn't even do that. I should have stayed away from her. They only came after her because of me. If I stayed away she would have turned to you eventually."

_'Don't talk like that. She loved you. She would never have wanted anyone else.' _I thrust my muzzle between his knees and his chest and rested my head on his lap, wondering if he would accept this form of comfort or jerk away from me. He stayed still, his legs sinking down slowly until they touched my paws. His hands hovered uncertainly for a moment and then came to rest on my neck, his fingers clutching at my fur.

"What am I going to do? I don't know how to go on without her."

_'You'll find a way. We all will.'_

"I don't understand why you're even here," he said suddenly. "With me, I mean. Why do I feel like we're connected somehow?"

_'Probably because we both lost her in different ways,' _I responded firmly. I knew I could have told him then, but somehow it wasn't the right time. I didn't think he would understand, if he even took in the fact that he was my Imprint and I determinedly continued to keep it buried. It had become such a habit that it was easy to just not think about it any more. It should have been something that would offer comfort, but I feared it would only drive him away.

Edward didn't speak again. His body began to shake with silent dry sobs and his hands tugged harder at my fur until I felt tufts of it being torn from the roots, but I stayed quiet and still, absorbing his pain as the light began to slip from the sky and dusk fell.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all the great reviews on the last chapter. I was going for the shock value there ;o) Hope you enjoy the next installment.**

CHAPTER FIVE

_'Edward.'_

He didn't respond in any way. It was daylight and neither of us had moved all night. Edward had slumped forward until his head rested on the back of my neck and if it hadn't been for the fact that I knew vampires didn't sleep or faint, I would have thought one or the other had occurred.

_'Edward!' _I raised my head, pushing him upright. I shuffled backwards and pulled myself up until I was sitting on my haunches. _'There are some things we need to do.'_

He looked up in surprise as if he had only just realised he had company. Then a look of horror came over his face and he rose to his feet and vanished in a flash. I followed quickly and found him standing over Bella's body just as I expected. A large area of the snow around her was pink and frozen and I imagined her body would be stiff and solid. I flinched both from my own sadness and another wave of Edward's pain as he stood looking at her.

"What are we going to tell Charlie?" he whispered.

_'The same as what he thinks happened to the others who have died recently. Bears,' _I thought decidedly. _'We're going to need to bury her here, he can't see her or he'll ask about...'_

"...the bites. I know." Edward dragged his hands through his hair and turned away. "I can't do this. I _can't."_

_'I'll do it. Go sit down somewhere. Sit in the tent, Edward, don't watch.'_

I headed over to the tent myself, phased back quickly, pulled on my previously discarded cut-offs and shoved my feet into my boots. When I turned around he still hadn't moved and I went to him and grasped his arm, holding back a grimace. I hated that the feel of him revolted me so; every time I flinched he felt it. I steered him over to the tent and ushered him into it, then returned to Bella, trying not to let my eyes rest on her too much. She didn't look good in death, her mouth open in a silent scream, eyes still wide, face as pale as Edward's from the blood loss, her throat torn out and resembling raw meat and hideous marks all over her limbs from Edward's bites. I swallowed hard as my gorge began to rise and I kicked at the ground. Mostly the snow was soft, but underneath the ground was hard and we had no tools.

"Damnit," I muttered and unfastened my shorts again. I stepped out of my boots and phased once more, then picked a spot away from the path where several bushes grew, indicating dirt beneath the snow rather than rock. Then I began to dig deep with my front paws, using my claws to rake up the frozen earth and shoving the loose pieces behind me with my back paws. It was arduous work, but I persevered and gradually a deep trench formed, long enough to hold Bella's body. I was just finishing when I heard Sam's voice in my head.

_'Jacob, where are you? We're getting worried. Everyone else is safe, but Seth told us about Bella. Do you need us to come up there?'_

_'No, Sam, I'm ok,' _I replied.

_'What about Edward? Carlisle called me a little while ago. He wanted to go looking for him, but Alice apparently saw him with you.'_

_'Yeah, he's here, I'm going to bring him down, but it might take a while.'_

_'I'll call Carlisle and tell him. Let me know if you need us.' _Sam left my head and I figured he had probably phased back after talking to me.

I phased again myself and dressed, realising that I couldn't really grab Bella by a limb with my teeth and drag her into the hole I'd dug. I went to her and bent over, reluctantly grabbing her beneath the arms. As I lifted her, literally peeling her off the ground, I clenched my teeth in an effort not to vomit as the ice beneath her reluctantly released her into my arms with a sickening crackling noise. I carried her to the hole, lowered her carefully into it and then yet again I phased in order to cover her up more efficiently. When this was done, I went to the spot where she had been lying and began kicking up the surrounding snow to cover the patch which was obviously stained with blood. By the time it was done, I was exhausted from both the physical exertion and the intense pain emanating from Edward. For the last time I phased back and pulled on my shorts, then went to the tent.

Edward was sitting on the sleeping bag hugging his knees, rocking slightly and staring at nothing. He didn't respond when I spoke his name and once again I had to grab his arm and make him move. He emerged from the tent slowly and then stood motionless, head hanging, while I dismantled the tent and packed everything away into the large backpack Edward had brought it up in. I hoisted the thing onto my shoulders and went to him.

"Come on, Edward, let's get out of here."

"You go."

"You can't just stay up here alone; besides, Sam is calling your father to let him know I'm bringing you back."

"There's nothing for me to go back for," Edward sighed. "Why do you even care?"

"Because I can feel some of what you're feeling. They'll only come looking for us if we don't go back."

"Fine." That was all he said before he moved away from me and began to head down the path. I almost expected him to disappear with vampiric speed, but he merely walked, one step at a time, at a pace which would surely take us hours to descend.

Time passed and eventually we reached the lower slopes of the mountain, the trees dense now and the air still. Edward was still walking slowly ahead of me and neither of us had said a word since we left the camp site. My stomach was beginning to rumble in protest at having had no sustenance in over twenty-four hours, but the supplies were gone and all I could do was wait until we reached home. I wondered what everyone else was doing and if Sam had told Dad what had happened. I began to hope that someone would have talked to Charlie already so that the depressing task wouldn't fall to me.

Suddenly Edward stumbled, his legs seeming to give way under him as if he had no strength left in them and I shot forward, grabbing him a second before he plummeted face first down a particularly steep part of the path. He was shaking and reached out to lean against the trunk of a nearby tree as I steadied him.

"Are you alright?"

His eyes met mine for a moment and they were black, the dark orbs almost obscuring the whites. I didn't know enough about vampires to understand and guessed it must be caused by his pain or anger over Bella.

"I'm thirsty," he said.

I immediately imagined him suddenly pouncing on my neck and sinking his teeth in and couldn't help taking a small step backwards.

"We don't feed from wolves. Not your kind anyway."

"Do you want to stop for a while and...hunt or something?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I couldn't stomach it right now."

"You're getting weak," I observed.

"It won't kill me," he said bitterly. "I'll make it the rest of the way."

We continued even more slowly and at last the Cullens' house came into view in the distance. Edward told me he would make his own way from that point, but I insisted on accompanying him to the edge of the property. He halted there and stared at the building.

"I guess I better go call Charlie," he said hoarsely.

"Don't worry about that," I told him at once. "I'll talk to him myself."

"But I should...she was my..." He dragged his hands through his hair again, making it look even wilder than usual.

"I was her friend and my Dad is Charlie's best friend. I'll do it," I repeated. He wasn't in any fit state to talk to Charlie, who I knew would give the messenger the third degree and I guessed the Imprint was kicking in with my desire to prevent him suffering any more if I could manage it.

"Alright. Thank you, Jacob."

I slid the backpack off my shoulders and gave it to him, then turned away and broke into a jog, making my way quickly back to the Reservation. I went straight home, my feet slowing as I noticed Charlie's truck parked out front. I had hoped to at least have some time with Dad before I had to face him, but he was already here. As I walked up the path, the door opened and Sam came out.

"Hey, Jacob, how are you doing?" He reached out to give me a hug and I held onto him for a moment, suddenly feeling weak myself.

"I'm ok. Does Charlie know?"

"Yes, I talked to your Dad and he called Charlie and asked him to come over."

"What did he tell him?"

"A bear."

I heaved a sigh of relief. "That's what I would have said."

"Where is she? Charlie wants to go up there."

"I buried her. He shouldn't see her the way she was."

"How bad was it?"

"Riley ripped her throat out," I grimaced. "But worse than that, she's covered in bites. Edward tried to change her."

Sam's face darkened. "He broke the treaty?"

"He tried to give her another life, that's all," I said. "You can't blame him for that. He was too late anyway, she was gone."

"Even so, we need to think about how we deal with this."

"There's nothing to deal with, Sam," I said stiffly. "Leave him alone. He just lost the love of his life."

"Since when did you care anything about Edward Cullen?" Sam said in surprise.

"I suppose since I had to watch him fall apart."

"What about you? You lost her too, I don't suppose he cared about that."

"Please, Sam, will you drop it?" I begged. "I don't really want to think about this any more, I just want to go to bed, but I still have to talk to Charlie, and presumably go back up there again to show him where she's buried."

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

Sam stepped back into the house and I followed him into the lounge where Dad and Charlie were sitting. Charlie looked as if he had aged ten years and I sank onto the end of the sofa nearest to Dad's wheelchair. Sam took a seat beside me and helped out as Charlie began to ask questions. He seemed to have forgotten that Bella was my friend and that actually everyone else still thought I was in love with her. He went over and over it, but I guess I couldn't blame him. He had lost his daughter, he couldn't even see her body and he didn't understand why the decision on what to do with her had been left with a sixteen-year-old boy.

Dad stepped in at this point, stating that I obviously did what I thought was right and that since a bear was responsible for taking Bella from him, burying her was clearly the best option otherwise there may not have been anything left of her to bring home.

Charlie wanted to know what she had been doing in the mountains anyway, when he had been told she was having a girls' sleepover with Alice and Rosalie and Sam answered this, saying that for Bella's sake, since she was between us and them so to speak, we had been making efforts to get to know the Cullens a little and several of us had gone camping together. Charlie wondered why Bella hadn't told him the truth about this and was concerned she and Edward had taken their relationship further than she had admitted to, but I reassured him by saying the pair of them hadn't been alone in a tent together. Trying to make the story convincing without raising too many more questions was hard work and I was already exhausted and desperate to eat and sleep. Dad took pity on me and told me to help myself to the meal he had left in the kitchen which just needed reheating and then get some sleep. Sam intended to stay for the time being and when I had rested, he and I would both accompany Charlie up to the place where Bella was buried.

I ate, showered and fell into bed then and when I woke it was too late to make the trip back up the mountain before darkness fell. Charlie was still with us and impatient to go up there, but he wasn't stupid enough to insist, especially when we may run into the bear which had attacked Bella. I made up a bed on the sofa for myself and Charlie took my room for the night, although he didn't actually sleep much. When we rose in the morning we found him putting the finishing touches to a wooden cross he had made for Bella, carving her name into it with a whittling blade.

Sam returned early and I led the way back up the path, taking the pace slow to account for the fact that Charlie wouldn't have been able to keep up with the two of us. I hated doing this. I didn't want to return to that place again when I could still see Bella's body so vividly, but really I didn't have any choice. I did my best not to think too much, but the one thing I couldn't get out of my mind now was Edward. I wondered what he was doing, hoping he was with his family and hadn't shut himself away from them. I could still feel his pain, which now mingled with my own as I began to long to see him and by the time we reached the place where I had placed Bella, I was struggling to control myself. I left Charlie and Sam together and went up to the spot where I had spent the night sitting with Edward, dropping down into the snow again. The tears I had managed to suppress for so long now filled my eyes and began to spill down my cheeks and I dropped my head into my hands, struggling to stay quiet. I wanted to yell and scream and sob, but I could hear the muffled sound of Charlie crying yards away and as usual I put everyone else before myself, not wanting to make things worse for him.

Sam came to me about an hour later to let me know they were ready to go back and this time I did think of myself.

"Just leave me here, will you?" I said. "I need some time on my own."

"Wait until you get home, your Dad will worry," he frowned.

"Tell him I'll be back tonight. Please, Sam, I'm barely holding it together here."

"Ok. Jacob, just...promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"Like what? Let the bears get me? Seriously, I'll be back tonight."

He nodded and returned to Charlie. I stayed where I was until they were long gone, then pulled myself to my feet and let my wolf explode out of me, my clothes scattering into a thousand pieces around me. I headed north, higher into the mountains, wondering if I really would go back that night. I wanted nothing more than to put as much distance as possible between myself and what had happened, but the further away I got, the more I realised it wasn't possible. Dusk was already approaching and the more time that passed, the more the pain inside me grew. It was almost as if a wire was attached to my soul, tugging me back towards home...towards Edward. I needed to see him, even if it was a furtive spying through the window episode like the night I had watched him playing the piano. My wolf had already turned around and began to head back down the path before I realised and now I broke into a run, pushing myself at breakneck speed down the steep slopes.

I headed straight for the Cullens' house, not even bothering to take care in case I ran into one of them. I figured I could bluff my way out of it if I did - I got Edward home safe to them so I doubted they would punish me for trespassing.

I neither saw nor smelled anyone on my approach and I circled the house slowly as before, looking towards each of the lit windows on all sides and recognising Jasper and Alice fighting with cushions in one room, Emmett sprawling on a couch in another while Rosalie stood over him, a sour look on her face. Esme was alone in another room, but there was no sign of Carlisle or Edward. I prowled around the entire perimeter again. He was in there; I could feel him. It was almost as if I were being drawn towards one particular darkened window and I knew instinctively that it was his room. I could feel his despair and it made me shiver. He was alone and suffering and however pointless it might be, I needed to try to do something. Was he close enough to pick up my thoughts, I wondered?

_'Edward, it's Jacob. I'm outside, will you come out and talk to me?'_

I stood there with my heart banging against my ribs, watching the dark window and waiting for some kind of response. Perhaps he would open the window and lean out, or appear out of one of the doors and come looking for me. But why would he? Even if he heard me, why would he come out when the only closeness we had shared was the hours after Bella died? I was probably the last person he wanted to see.

_'Edward! Come out, please!'_

I couldn't help myself, but again there was no indication that he had heard me. I waited perhaps thirty minutes before I circled the house one more time, but there was no sign of him and eventually I turned away and made my way home, the pain in my chest growing more intense with each step.

I phased back and crept into the house naked, relieved when I discovered Dad had already retired. I went straight to my room and crawled into bed, already feeling as sick as I had after four days without seeing him after the fight we had. If it was this intense after twenty-four hours, God knew what would happen to me if I couldn't see him the next day.

I don't know if I slept or simply passed out, but the next thing I knew it was daylight and Dad was leaning over from his chair, shaking me worriedly. I forced my eyes to open and sucked my breath in hard. I felt as if a great weight was pressing onto my chest and my body was slick with sweat.

"Jacob, you're sick," Dad said worriedly. "I'll send for the doc."

"No," I gasped. "I'm ok. Just...everything that happened...I guess it caught up with me."

"You look terrible," he frowned.

"Yeah, thanks," I grimaced. "I'll be alright by tomorrow."

"Well, if you're not, you'll see the doc whether you want to or not," Dad said firmly.

He left me for a while, but returned every so often, trying to make me drink or eat something. I couldn't stomach even one bite and the crushing pressure in my chest had turned into a burning sensation. I wanted to tear at my skin and thrash about, but I lay still, trying not to worry him. I felt as if I were dying and eventually I forced myself out of bed, pulled on some clothes and told him I felt better, but needed fresh air. What I needed was my Imprint. I wondered if I would even make it the few miles from my house to his, but I found that once I started moving, the prospect of seeing him when I got there diminished the agony I was in and I ran, not even concerned about stepping onto Cullen land in human form.

They weren't home. I felt nothing as I approached and as I walked around the house, I saw no sign of life. In desperation I walked right up to the front door and rang the bell, but no one came and I had to concede that the whole family were out.

"Damnit, Edward, where are you?" I groaned, sinking down onto the steps. I dropped my face into my hands, surprised to feel my cheeks were wet with tears and quickly I hauled myself up again. I could just imagine them all arriving home at that moment and finding me crying on their doorstep. That would take some explaining. I scrubbed my hands over my face and walked away; there was nothing else I could do.

When I reached home again, Charlie's truck was outside. I was relieved to see him helping Dad out of his wheelchair into the cab and guessed they were going into Forks to spend some time at Charlie's place. I spoke to Dad for a minute and assured him I would be fine for a few hours and then stumbled into the house and back to my bed. I was weak and shaking, soaked with sweat and in so much pain I didn't know what to do with myself. In addition I felt completely lost, as if my Imprint had turned his back on me and walked away, which was stupid really. He was probably out hunting with his family. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I had lost him before he even knew there was anything between us. I writhed on the bed, shuddering and groaning, and that was the way Embry found me when he let himself in a couple hours later.

"Jacob! Jeez, what's wrong with you?" he cried.

My eyes were squeezed shut in my agony, but his voice was unmistakeable.

"Where's your Dad? What happened? I better call a doctor..."

_"No!"_I cried, forcing my eyes open. "Don't do that, Em, I'm ok."

"The hell you are. You look like you're dying. You must have lost ten pounds in that last two days. What's wrong?"

"I Imprinted," I gasped before I could stop myself.

"What? When? On whom? Oh, shit, was it Bella? Jake, I'm so sorry..." Embry babbled.

"No, not her," I whimpered. "Em, don't tell anyone, ok, you can't."

"Why not? Can't you talk to the girl? This is ridiculous, you suffering over it."

"Please, just forget I said anything. I can't tell you any more."

"I'm your best friend," Embry protested. "Or one of them. You know you can trust me. I have secrets even you and Quil don't know, that's how good I am at keeping them. I'm in love with someone, but none of you ever picked it up even when we're all phased."

"What? Who?" His admission momentarily took a small portion of my mind away from my own pain.

"If I tell you, you have to tell me who your Imprint is."

"I can't."

"Jake...alright, but you have to promise not to ever say anything, or even think anything. She wouldn't want me. Hell, I don't have the guts even to pass the time of day with her."

"Well, at least you didn't Imprint," I sighed. "Is it Leah?"

"Fuck!" Embry flushed scarlet.

"It's ok, you didn't give it away. But she's the only girl I know that scares the shit out of most guys. It was just an educated guess."

"She'd never look twice at me," he frowned.

"How do you know that? She's bitter over Sam at the moment, but she'll get over it. Give it some time." Another wave of pain hit me and I clutched at my chest, moaning.

"Shit, Jake, how long is this going to go on? What can I do?" Embry cried helplessly.

"Nothing. Uh...just talk..."

"Maybe I should get Sam," he said doubtfully.

"Don't you tell Sam anything!" I growled.

"But how long can you go on like this?"

"I don't know, please, Em, just tell me some shit to take my mind off it."

"Ok, well I can give you some good news," he said, pulling himself off his knees beside the bed and sitting on the edge of it. "You'll never guess what I heard today. Edward Cullen left Forks. Sam got it from Carlisle. He just took off yesterday, they don't even know where..."

Edward left...that would explain why I couldn't feel him any more, why I felt as if part of me had been ripped out, why I suddenly felt as if dying would be the best thing for me.

"God...no..." I whispered. "Edward, don't leave me..."

"Jake! What...?" Embry gasped.

In that moment I had forgotten he was there and now I rolled away from him, pressed my face into the pillow and burst into tears. I couldn't have held it back if I tried.


	6. Chapter 6

**As always, thank you all for reading and reviewing.**

CHAPTER SIX

"You Imprinted on Edward?" Embry said uncomprehendingly. "That can't happen, can it? He's a leech...and a guy...it doesn't make any sense."

"Don't you think I've told myself that a thousand times?" I sniffed, wiping my face on the sheet. "I felt like a freak when it happened."

"How long ago?"

"Couple of weeks. It was right before the last council meeting. I was hoping it was gonna happen with Bella when I met them to watch her for the day. I was rubbing his nose in it, hugging her and showing off my muscles. Looked over her shoulder to laugh at him and I Imprinted on him."

"Shit!" Embry gasped. "Well, you're as good as me at keeping things to yourself. Does Edward know?"

"No, I don't think so. I managed to close my mind to him before he picked it up. He feels a connection, but I passed it off as us both loving Bella."

"What are you going to do? Will you tell him?"

"How can I? I thought about it, but what's he gonna say, huh? How can we be anything to each other? We can't stand each other's smell; I hate the feel of him; we're both straight; God alone knows what the tribe would think, they'd probably cast me out."

"That wouldn't happen, Jacob, you were supposed to be Alpha. Do you really think your Dad would have you sent away?"

"I don't know, but I'm not giving him the chance."

"You can't keep this a secret much longer, you look like you're dying," Embry protested.

"I feel like I am. You know what I ended up doing before we started training for the battle? Prowling around the Cullens' fucking house like a criminal just to see him. It was enough then, but I don't know any more. If he's left town...shit, what the hell am I gonna to do?" I groaned.

"I don't know; I wish I had an answer. If only you would talk to your Dad or Sam, maybe one of them could help. What if something like this has happened before?"

"Em, it makes no difference whether it has. My Imprint is gone and if I can't see him, I'm not going to get better."

Embry couldn't really do anything to help me, but somehow it felt better to at least have someone to confide in. I tossed and turned in pain for the rest of the afternoon and then Dad called to check on me. I told him Embry was with me and handed the phone over after a minute. From Embry's side of the conversation, he was clearly agreeing to stay over with me so that Dad could stay the night at Charlie's. When he hung up he said that Charlie was struggling after Bella's death and Dad wanted to share a few beers with him and keep him company. I was relieved, but I wondered how much worse I would be by the time he came home the next day.

Somehow I must have slept. I woke feeling weak and disorientated early in the morning at the sound of someone knocking on the front door and Embry scrambled out of the camp bed he had set up on the other side of my room to go answer it. I ignored it, a fresh wave of agony rolling over me as I immediately felt the loss of Edward all over again.

"Jake, Alice Cullen is here," Embry said a moment later, coming back into the room.

"Ugh, the room reeks of dogs," Alice's voice complained. "Can't you open the window?"

"It's open," Embry told her. "Don't come onto our territory insulting us, Alice."

"What are you doing here?" I interrupted. My voice came out as a croak and I cleared my throat.

"I'm not really sure. You know, you look terrible; have you got rabies or something?"

"That's enough, Alice!" Embry snapped.

"Fine," she huffed, shoving her hands into her coat pockets. "Jacob, I had a vision..."

"What are you telling me for?" I muttered.

"Because it involves you. I don't really understand why. What I saw is you helping Edward."

"Where is he?!" I shot upright in the bed, my heart suddenly picking up speed until it was slamming against my ribs.

"You actually care?" Alice raised her eyebrows.

"I'll explain later. Go on..."

"You've heard something of the Volturi?"

"Yes, a little."

"Edward has gone there to Volterra...to die. For some reason you are the one I see stopping him and we only have until noon tomorrow."

"Where is this Volterra?" Suddenly pumped with adrenaline which diminished my suffering, I threw the bed covers back and got to my feet. Alice grimaced and took several steps backwards.

"Really, Jacob, your smell is quite offensive."

"Christ, Alice, I'm getting in the shower! Tell me where he is!" I charged into my en suite, half-closed the door and dropped my shorts.

"Italy," she called. "Do you have a passport?"

"Yeah, middle drawer of my chest. Embry, shove a change of clothes in a backpack for me, get the passport, my wallet and phone..."

"You're just going to take off to Italy? Just like that?" Embry called out, but I heard him opening drawers as he looked for items to pack for me.

"I have to, you know that."

"So what is this thing with you and Edward?" Alice asked. "I thought you hated each other."

"We did...do," I said, finishing scrubbing myself and grabbing a towel. "But I Imprinted on him. Don't worry about that now, I'll explain on the way." I wrapped the towel around myself and burst back into the bedroom. Alice pulled a further disgusted face and backed out into the hallway.

"My car's outside," she said. "I'll wait for you there." A moment later the front door closed behind her.

"Should I go with you?" Embry asked doubtfully.

"No, I'm gonna need you to cover for me."

"Cover for you? You mean you're going to fly off to the other side of the world and try and pretend you're in bed sick?"

"No, you can tell Dad you took me to Carlisle Cullen and that I'm ok. I'll call when I get there, talk to Dad and make out like I'm just up the road and I'm fine - which I will be as soon as I see him."

"Jake this is crazy. What about Sam and the others? Don't you think they'll be suspicious?"

"Don't tell them anything. It's not like we're patrolling now, I should be back in a couple of days. If anything happens - I mean, if something bad happens and I can't call or whatever - then tell Sam. About everything."

"I really don't like this," Embry worried. "We don't know anything about this Volturri. What if you get yourself killed? What if you end up getting changed into a leech?"

"I don't think that works, Em, I think the venom just kills us," I frowned, shoving my feet into my boots and grabbing the bag from him.

"That makes me feel a lot better, Jake. I really don't think you should go."

"I have to. I can't let him die, you know that. Without him, I'll die too."

"Shit." Embry shook his head and then stepped forward to grab me in a hug. "Be careful. Call me when you land in Italy, ok?"

"Sure."

"Wait, one more thing..." He raced into the kitchen suddenly, pulled out a plastic bag from one of the cupboards and opened the refrigerator, quickly beginning to fill the bag with as many food items as he could fit into it. "I don't suppose Alice brought any," he said as he pushed it into my hands.

"Thanks. I'll see you soon."

I left the house quickly and slid into Edward's Volvo which Alice had with her. We took off with a screech of tyres and I decided to eat some of the food Embry had packed while she told me more about the Volturi - how dangerous and powerful they were and how Edward wouldn't stand a chance if he did what she had seen him doing in her vision.

"What's he gonna do?" I mumbled around a large bite of bread and cheese.

"You know what we look like in the sunlight?" she asked.

"I haven't seen, but Bella said you sparkle like diamonds," I said, not really believing it. It was a rare sunny morning and Alice wasn't sparkling, but then again she was wearing a long coat, headscarf, dark glasses and gloves. Now she pulled a glove off and held it up above the steering wheel where the sun's rays caught it immediately. I was almost blinded...Bella had been right.

"Jeez," I muttered.

Alice smiled and pulled her glove back on. "The point is that we stay out of the sunlight; we try to appear human amongst others. Edward is going to step out in the midday sun at Volterra and draw attention to himself right in the middle of the Solstice Festival. Then Aro will have him killed for 'outing' a vampire."

"Who's Aro?" I asked.

"He's the overall leader of the Volturi, over two thousand years old. His talent is tactile telepathy, which means he can read every thought and memory you ever had with one touch. He has an evil mind and he likes to play with his food. He would rather suffer the pain of thirst for hours and torment his prey just for his own amusement, than simply satisfy himself like the rest of us. He won't just kill Edward to punish him for his indiscretion; he'll torture him in the worst ways you could imagine."

"Oh, God," I groaned. "Can we get there in time?"

"Yes, I took the liberty of booking tickets all the way through - Sea-Tac to Paris to Florence and then we drive."

"Don't you Cullens have a private jet or something?" I wondered, not really serious.

"Carlisle is in the process of purchasing one, but it takes time," Alice replied.

"I was joking."

"I'm not." Alice turned the car onto the freeway which bypassed Forks and headed out towards PA and Seattle and then glanced at me again. "So tell me about this Imprint thing."

I explained as well as I could, telling her the reason for Imprinting amongst the pack and that I had no idea what the point in me Imprinting on Edward was.

"Are you gay?" she asked.

"No, I'm not gay! I was in love with Bella!" I exclaimed.

"I was just asking. I don't know what the point of it is, I can't see visions of your lot, only ours. You appeared in my vision because you can help Edward. Maybe the point of you...Imprinting on him, was that you couldn't have Bella so it would stop you hurting."

"And how does me hurting over Edward make any difference?" I grumbled.

"Perhaps it's just that you're meant to help him, which you're doing now. Does he know about it?"

"No."

"When were you going to tell him?"

"I don't know."

"Well, don't do it in Volterra," Alice instructed. "If one of them picks it up and they catch you, they'll use it in some sick way to torture you."

"Alice, you're making this trip sound more appealing every time you open your mouth," I said wrily.

"Just warning you. This isn't a game, Jacob. The Volturi make the newborn army seem like helpless babies."

We talked for most of the journey to Sea-Tac and then Alice parked up in a long-stay space, grabbed a small carry-on bag from the rear seat and marched off into the terminal. I hurried after her and what followed was a seemingly endless series of checking in, waiting, boarding, taking off, landing, waiting some more, boarding again until I had no idea what time of day it was or where I was. However, the pain I was in had reduced by about half as if my wolf was aware that it was on the way to its Imprint and had calmed itself and this was a huge relief.

Alice seemed to be completely aware of exactly where we were at all times and every so often would change the time on her wristwatch to the appropriate 'local time'. When we eventually landed for the second time, she announced we had made it to Florence and that it was just past ten in the morning.

"What day is it?" I frowned.

"It's tomorrow and we have less than two hours. We need a car." She darted off towards the airport parking lot and I ran after her.

"How far is it to Volterra?" I worried.

"Forty-seven miles. This will do." She halted beside a yellow Porsche and I looked at her in horror.

"What, you're just going to steal this car?"

"Jacob, don't have a crisis of conscience now, for goodness' sake," Alice said. "Do you know how long it takes to get through the process of renting a car? Get in." She pulled open the passenger door for me and shot around the other side. I hadn't even seen her pick the lock and I slid doubtfully into the seat. "The cops will pick the car up in Volterra and return it to its owner, I'm sure," she added.

Minutes later we were speeding along a country road, trees and hedgerows flashing by at impossible speed as Alice drove with her foot to the floor, cursing every so often when we were held up by other slow-moving vehicles. I took the opportunity to call Embry and let him know we at least made it to Italy and that I was feeling better. He explained that he was still at my place with Dad, but that he was demanding to be taken to see me at the Cullens' place.

"Hold on, Em," I said. "Alice, does your family know what we're doing?"

"Of course they do."

"Will Carlisle back up my story?"

"He'll do anything for Edward - for any of us."

"Embry," I said into the phone. "Call Carlisle and ask him to speak to Dad. He can tell him whatever he thinks best."

Embry agreed and a moment later I hung up and anxiously looked at the clock on the dash. It had reached eleven-thirty and continued to crawl determinedly onwards.

"We're not gonna make it," I muttered.

"We're almost there," Alice said. "Ten more minutes, but I won't be able to drive far into the city, we'll have to go on foot. It'll be crowded."

She drove on until a street party eventually blocked our way and then parked up, indicating I should get out. I jumped out of the car and slammed the door quickly. "Which way?"

"Follow me."

"Well, remember to go normal speed, or I won't keep up unless I phase," I reminded her, breaking into a run as she raced up the street, sidling past the street party and dodging into an alley.

We wound our way through one narrow passage after another, the little pathways running between the tightly clustered buildings and leading upwards until at last we could see a tall tower rearing up from the other buildings and Alice halted, looking at her watch.

"That's it - the tower. There's a door at the bottom and he's going to come out of there in...three minutes. Go!"

"What are you gonna do?" I asked.

"I'm right behind you, but when we get close I'll branch off in case we need a diversion."

I began to run again, having to force my way through a crowd of people in fancy dress which filled the street. My eyes were fixed on the building in front and finally I made it through the celebrations and halted by a large fountain. I could see the door Alice had mentioned and it opened slowly, revealing Edward wearing dress pants and a dark shirt. I could see that his eyes were closed and as I watched, Alice beside me clutching my arm despite her usual revulsion at being near to me, Edward unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off, then stepped forward, gradually drawing closer to the rays of sun which shone onto the steps. I was filled with horror at what he was about to do and also an enormous sense of relief that he was right there, just yards away, and I wasn't hurting any more. I simply stood there and stared until Alice's voice startled me.

"Oh, God, Jacob, you have to stop him!"

I made to move forward, but her fingers dug into my arm suddenly and made me hesitate.

"Don't let him know about...your connection. The Volturi could use it against you."

"Yeah, you told me that." I pulled away from her and she vanished suddenly into the crowd.

I sprinted across the courtyard and reached Edward in seconds, just as the sun had begun to catch one side of his face and upper body, making it sparkle like thousands of diamonds. Alice's hand had only been a small indication of what it might look like. No one had seen him yet, I didn't think. I grabbed him by the waist and used my strength and momentum to force him backwards into the building. He staggered and clutched at my shoulders to save himself and I slid both arms around him quickly, holding him tight against me and telling myself it was to stop him falling. My hands touched his back and I shuddered at the feel of his cold flesh. His eyes flew open and met mine.

"What are you doing here, Jacob?" His voice was a monotone, as if it was an effort even to speak.

"Stopping you from making a stupid mistake." I let go of him and stooped to grab his shirt from the ground, holding it out to him. "Put this on."

"Jacob, please, go home and take Alice with you," he said dully, ignoring the shirt.

"Don't be a jerk, Edward. No one wants you dead - not even me."

"I don't believe that." He hung his head and stared at the floor.

"Listen to me. Both of us lost Bella and much as it might hurt now, it's really not worth dying over. Nothing is." I tossed the shirt aside and planted my hands on his shoulders, shaking him slightly. "Look at me."

"Let me go. It's better this way. You need to get out of here before the Volturi catch you. They won't appreciate a wolf in their home." He raised his eyes slowly again and I forced the thoughts I wanted more than anything to let out at that moment back down where I always kept them hidden.

"No, I won't. Alice asked for my help; she had a vision. Do you think your family - Carlisle and Esme and the others - will thank us if we go back without you?"

"Why would Alice see you helping?" he frowned.

"Probably because both of us loved Bella," I said. "So I know how you feel."

"Do you?"

I lied, the same way I had many times recently. I lied with my mind by showing him a picture of myself lying on my bunk, writhing and sobbing the way I had been before Embry found me. I showed him a photo of Bella lying beside me on the pillow, my hand clutching it as I poured out my grief.

"I couldn't save her," Edward said desperately and repeated what he had said to me on the mountain. "It was too late. I should have been able to turn her. I know you didn't want that, but she would still be...alive." His legs gave way beneath him and I grabbed him quickly under the arms, saving him crashing to the floor. I lowered him more slowly and dropped to my knees beside him. He slumped there, his face sinking into his hands and began to sob tearlessly - and I did the only thing I could think of, which was to wrap my arms around him and hug his cold body tight against the heat of mine.

Suddenly the outer door swung closed with a bang and I looked up over Edward's head, frowning as I realised it had shut by itself. Then I turned my head the other way and found three figures in hooded cloaks standing over us. The smaller one in the middle opened his mouth after a moment and spoke.

"Well, well. What do we have here? If it isn't Edward Cullen and his pet wolf."

**A/N - In Twilight, the festival taking place in Volterra was Saint Marcus Day, a celebration of the day Saint Marcus supposedly drove all vampires from the city, which is on 19 March. Since the newborn army battle took place on 15 June, the festival in my story is one I have made up for the sake of continuity ;o)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all for reading, saving alerts, reviewing etc, you make my day! :o)**

CHAPTER SEVEN

Edward stiffened and in a second he was out of my arms and on his feet. I rose too and stood beside him, facing the three red-eyed vampires. The one who had spoken was smaller than both of us, one of the others around Edward's height and the last one towering some six inches above me. I was taller than Edward by maybe an inch and a half and I pulled myself up further in an effort to look bigger.

"Look, the wolf's trying to make himself look intimidating," the largest vampire smirked.

"He thinks he can scare us," confirmed the other.

"Enough, both of you." The smaller one eyed Edward and then me. "Edward, of course, knows us, but I will formally introduce myself. I am Aro; these here are Felix and Alec; and you are Jacob Black. Welcome."

"Thanks, but we're not staying," I said.

"I would find it very rude if you were to reject my hospitality," Aro said with a smile. "I simply cannot _allow_ you to just walk away. Besides, Edward here came for a specific purpose - didn't you, Edward?"

"I changed my mind," Edward said firmly.

"Well, that's a little unfortunate. I will have to insist that since you have set foot in my home, you will stay at least until tomorrow."

"You can't keep us here against our will," I growled.

"Oh, but I can. Boys, find a kennel for the dog while Edward and I have a little chat."

I shot a glance at Edward, wondering what the chances were of us taking on the three of them if I phased. Edward shook his head minutely and in another second I found each of my arms gripped by an icy hand as Felix and Alec took up positions either side of me. They squeezed hard enough to indicate they would crush my bones without a second thought if I put up a struggle and I began to walk with them down a corridor, leaving Edward behind with Aro, the knot of fear in my stomach more for him than myself.

I was escorted down a long dimly lit corridor, through an archway and down some stone steps, then along another corridor which eventually opened out into a room with impossibly high ceilings. Off to one side were a series of doors and the bigger vampire, Felix, opened one of these and then stepped through, drawing me after him with Alec following. The room beyond was perhaps forty feet square and taking up approximately a quarter of this was a cage, two sides formed by the stone walls of the room and the other two of heavy steel bars set into the floor and ceiling. Inside was a bunk with a coarse looking rug on it and a steel toilet and sink. That was all.

"You have to be kidding me," I muttered, stiffening and halting my steps.

"We kid you not," grinned Alec. "You heard Aro. This is a kennel and you are a dog - correct? The perfect quarters for you while you remain under our roof."

"And how long's that going to be for?" I demanded.

"Either until Aro decides otherwise, or you die. Which do you think is likely to occur first, Felix?"

"I'd say it's about fifty-fifty. Aro can be pretty fickle, but I'd say he'd go for the entertainment value of keeping you here. We've never had a pet wolf on the premises. Mind you, you don't smell pleasant, Jacob, I don't think he'll enjoy that too much." Felix pulled a large key out of his robe and unlocked the gate to the cage.

"I'm not going in there! Get the fuck off of me!" I snarled at once.

"I don't think he likes the idea of being locked up," Alec taunted.

"Somehow I think he'll like it better any minute now." Felix's grip tightened on my arm, his fingers like steel bands, slowly beginning to crush the bones just above my wrist.

"Fuck!" I spat.

"A little more perhaps?" His hand tightened more and despite my determination to stay strong, I howled. I felt two bones snap and the pain was unrelenting until suddenly he let go. Alec released me at the same time and gave me a sudden shove between the shoulder blades. I stumbled forward, almost losing my balance and found myself over the threshold of the cage. The gate clanged shut behind me and Felix turned the key in the lock with a smile.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it, mutt? It could of course have been a whole lot easier if you hadn't put up a fight. But you heal fast, don't you, so a few broken bones don't matter." He pulled the key out of the lock and hid it away inside his robe again. "Come along, Alec, we're done here for the moment."

The pair walked off through the door and closed it behind them, leaving me alone. I was furious and in pain as well as anxious about what they might be doing to Edward at that moment. It took all my determination to not phase there and then, but instead I dumped my backpack, which somehow I still had with me, on the ground beside the bunk and then sat down, gripped my injured wrist with my good hand and did the best I could to hold it straight as I waited for the healing process to begin. I was sweating and grunting in discomfort, straining my ears for some kind of sound, but the room appeared to be sound-proofed. So much for Alice creating a diversion to help, I thought. Where the fuck was she? And how the hell had I gotten into this? Locked in a twenty foot cell with a broken arm, hoping Edward wasn't being hurt and hoping that somehow the fragile-looking little pixie who brought me here would be a match for however many evil bastards there were in this building keeping us prisoner. It didn't look good. I remembered my cellphone eventually and pulled it from my pocket, but in the stone-walled room beneath ground level, there was no signal whatsoever and I turned it off to save the battery, tucking it into my backpack.

I wasn't aware of how much time passed. I didn't have a wristwatch and there was no clock or even a window for me to see if it was still light or not. The room was lit by a small chandelier hanging a few feet inside the door. My wrist healed, but as usual the process sapped my energy and my stomach rumbled hungrily. I drank some water from the sink, but it didn't make much difference and I lay down on the bunk. There wasn't anything else I could do until one of them came back. Eventually the door swung open again and I sat up quickly. Felix entered, the key to the cell in his hand and behind him came Edward, still shirtless, and then Alec and Aro.

"Throw him in there with the dog, it'll provide some interesting entertainment when he becomes thirsty," Aro instructed with an evil smile. He stepped aside and watched as Alec propelled Edward, unprotesting, to the gate which Felix was now unlocking. In another moment Edward was locked in the cage with me and the three had left us, closing the door behind them.

"What did they do to you?" I asked anxiously.

"Nothing you want to hear about. I'm ok. You?"

"Broke my wrist, but it healed. Are they just going to play games with us?"

"That's what Aro does." Edward walked over to the bunk and sat down on the edge of it. "I'm sorry you've been dragged into this, Jacob. I still don't understand why."

"I'll tell you when we get out of here," I said. "I'm sure they'd be amused if they found out."

"You're good at keeping your thoughts to yourself," Edward observed.

"It can be useful." I glanced at him, his arms folded around himself, and then at my bag. "Do you want a shirt?"

"If you have a spare, thank you."

I opened the bag and pulled out a plain grey long-sleeved t-shirt. It would be loose on his less muscular frame, but better than being only half-dressed, which he didn't seem comfortable with. He pulled the shirt on and then shuffled backwards on the bunk until he could lean against the wall, kicking his shoes off and folding his legs in front of him.

"How can you just relax like that?" I frowned, still on my feet. I was much calmer since he had been brought to join me, but the desire to bang my fists on the bars and yell furiously at our captors remained almost overwhelming. Knowing it would probably make things worse was all that stopped me.

"Wasn't that what you were doing before I came in here?" Edward reminded me.

"I was saving my energy. Healing uses a lot and I'm hungry." I sat down on the other end of the bunk. "How are we gonna get out of here?"

"Either they get bored with us, or Alice figures out some masterplan to get us out."

"How many of them are there?"

"Thirty-two."

"Shit. You don't even seem bothered by this. Do you still want to die?" I asked him.

"I may not have a choice." He didn't answer me directly and I turned to look at him, noticing his eyes change from gold to black a second before he lowered them.

"Are you thirsty?"

"Yes, but don't worry, I'm not going to feed from you."

"How long can you last?" I wondered.

"Probably a few weeks. I haven't exactly tested that theory. You?"

"I don't know, but I'll starve faster if I have to keep healing myself."

"Do your pack know where you are?" Edward asked.

"Only Embry. He's going to raise the alarm if he doesn't hear from me in a couple of days."

Edward's lips twitched up into a slight smile at one corner. "At least we have some hope then."

We didn't talk much more for a while after that. I drank some more water in an effort to suppress the hunger pangs, but the only effect it had was filling up my bladder rather more rapidly than I would have liked. Somehow the idea of taking a piss in front of Edward was embarrassing since he didn't have to worry about such an inconvenience. I was only relieved that anything I had eaten in the last day had been absorbed by my healing process, so I wouldn't need to have a crap unless I was given more food.

Edward smirked suddenly. "Really, don't worry about it, I'm not going to watch."

Annoyingly I felt my face flushing as I got up and went to use the toilet. I emptied my bladder as quickly as I could manage and washed my hands. I sat down again, realising that I was exhausted, probably from a combination of the agonies I went through before Alice turned up at my house, then the long flight, the anxiety and the healing of my arm.

"You should get some sleep," Edward commented.

"Damnit, I wish you wouldn't keep reading my mind," I grumbled.

"Sorry, it's kind of a habit."

"If I go to sleep, you'll probably go raking through the stuff I don't let out when I'm awake."

"You mean you have secrets worth finding out about? Look, I'll stay out of your head while you sleep, how's that?"

I scowled at him. "How do I know you will?"

"Because I'm saying so. I don't want to fight with you, Jacob. The main reason we did before is..." He squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced. "...gone. You did some things to help me that I wouldn't have expected and now you put yourself in this situation because of me. There's some kind of connection between us - I don't know what it is, but we're on the same side here and it seems like we should get along, be civil, even if we can't be friends."

His words both astounded and pleased me and I wiped the scowl off my face quickly. "I think we can do better than just be civil. At least I hope so. I'm going to get some sleep."

I placed my backpack on the end of the thin mattress at the opposite end to where Edward sat and then stretched out, using the pack as a pillow. Ordinarily the horror of the situation wouldn't have allowed me to relax enough to sleep, but sheer physical exhaustion sucked me down within minutes and I slept dreamlessly.

When I began to wake, presumably hours later, I could hear Edward's voice going on and on quietly in different tones. At first I thought he was having a conversation with himself, but the words sounded like something from another time - not the early Twentieth Century either, which I knew was when he had been born as a human. I lay still and breathed evenly, listening curiously.

_"Oh, thou wilt speak again of banishment._

_"I'll give thee armour to keep off that word, adversity's sweet milk, philosophy, to comfort thee, though thou art banished._

_"Yet banished? Hang up philosophy! Unless philosophy can make a Juliet, displant a town, reverse a prince's doom, it helps not, it prevails not - talk no more._

_"Oh, then I see that madmen have no ears._

_"How should they, when that wise men have no eyes?_

_"Let me dispute with thee of thy estate._

_"Thou canst not speak of that thou dost not feel; wert thou as young as I, Juliet thy love, an hour but married, Tybalt murdered, doting like me and like me banished, then midst thou speak, then mightst thou tear thy hair, and fall upon the ground, as I do now, taking the measure of an unmade grave."_

"You're awake."

It took me a moment to realise he was speaking directly to me and I rubbed a hand over my face and sat up.

"Talking to yourself, Edward?"

"I was reciting a play. 'Romeo and Juliet', it's my favourite. It brings me comfort."

"It brings you comfort?" I echoed. "They both die in the end, don't they? Don't you think that's a bit morbid, considering our predicament?"

Edward grinned, flashing perfect teeth which were several shades whiter than his face. "You see us as Romeo and Juliet?"

"Fuck off, I didn't mean that," I growled. I got up and went to the sink for a few mouthfuls of water. My stomach felt hollow from lack of sustenance. "How did you learn that whole thing off by heart?" I asked then.

"I studied the play forty-six times, it's difficult to forget."

"Don't you get bored doing the same thing over and over?"

He shrugged. "It passes the time."

We both turned towards the door as it opened suddenly and a vampire I hadn't seen before walked in. This one was female - a small blonde with crimson eyes who had a look of Alec about her. She was carrying a silver tray with a cloth covering something that lay on it.

"Good morning, Jane," Edward said. "She's Alec's twin," he added for my benefit. "Not identical, obviously."

"So how are our new pets getting along?" she asked.

I scowled and Edward just stared back at her expressionlessly.

"What do you want, Jane?" he asked.

"I came to feed the dog, of course." She smiled sweetly and the thought of food immediately made my mouth water without even knowing what was in store for me. I stood up and moved towards the bars.

"Oh, look how eager he is!" she cooed. "Jacob, sit!"

"What the...?"

"I said, sit! Obedience results in breakfast."

"Damnit," I muttered. Desperate hunger made me drop down onto my butt on the ground by the gate and I sat there, eyes down, humiliated as I felt Edward's eyes on my back.

"What a good boy!" Jane pulled the cloth on the tray aside and picked up the long bone which lay on it. She extended her arm through the bars of the cage and dropped it into my lap. My eyes widened in horror and I threw myself backwards, tossing it away from me and clenching my teeth, swallowing determinedly to prevent myself vomiting. It was a human leg bone and Jane now laughed in delight, accompanied by Aro, Felix and several others who had appeared in the doorway without me noticing.

Eyes watering in shock and the effort to not be sick, I breathed deep and looked at our captors. Aro was actually clapping his hands together and beaming from ear to ear.

"You two really are good fun," he said. "I'm so glad you decided to visit us. It's quite some time since we had such entertaining guests. Come, friends, Demetri will be returning soon with our meal. Oh, wait; Jane, didn't you forget something? Jacob seems to be getting all of the attention; that's a little unfair."

"Silly me." Jane turned to look at Edward, drawing her brows together and simply staring. She didn't say or do anything else, but seconds later Edward fell to his knees, screaming and clutching at his head. Jane didn't move or look away and he rolled onto his side, his body contorting and writhing on the ground in obvious agony.

I lost control of myself and phased before I could even think about what I was doing. Snarling, I hurled myself at the bars of the cage in front of Jane, thrust one paw between them and attempted to claw at her. She stood just out of reach and didn't even flinch, but she switched her eyes from Edward to me and he quieted and lay still.

"That's enough now, Jane, you're upsetting the puppy. He doesn't like you hurting his master," Aro smiled.

I growled again fiercely, pacing along the front of the cage and glaring at the group of vampires who all looked highly amused by our behaviour. Jane turned and walked towards them and they backed out of the room and closed the door. I moved towards Edward quickly, but he was already sitting up.

_'What did she do?' _I thought.

"She inflicts physical pain with her mind. She and Alec were powerfully psychic when they were born and the people of their village burned them at the stake before their thirteenth birthday. Aro already had his eye on them and he arrived just in time to interrupt their burning and change them."

_'They're only children?'_ I interrupted.

Edward nodded. "Jane has the ability to inflict the feeling of being burned alive on her victims."

_'Shit! Are you ok?'_

"I am now. As soon as she breaks the connection, the feeling goes away." He got to his feet and went to sit on the bunk. "You should try not to lose it like that, you'll just encourage them."

_'I couldn't help it.' _I padded over to the bunk, grabbed the backpack in my teeth and headed over to the other side of the cell. I sincerely hoped Embry had packed a spare pair of pants; I hadn't noticed when I took out the shirt for Edward.

I willed myself to phase back and after a few seconds it happened, leaving me crouching naked on the ground. I delved into the bag and pulled out clean shorts and jeans in relief. I put them on, then took out the remaining t-shirt and put that on too. Other than another set of underwear and some socks, that was all there was and I reminded myself I couldn't afford to phase again when dressed if I didn't want to run around naked in front of Edward and the entire Volturi. Edward chuckled softly and I glared at him.

"Get out of my head." I returned the bag to the end of the bunk and lay down, resting my head on it. Edward moved from the edge of the bunk to the corner where he had sat before. We didn't talk for a while, but simply lost ourselves in our thoughts, or perhaps Edward lost himself in mine. I could never tell whether he was reading my mind or not unless he referred to what I was thinking, but I didn't bother filtering my thoughts; there was only one thing I continued to keep hidden, but the rest just didn't seem to matter any more. Our lives were clearly at stake and that was all I cared about right now.

Somehow I must have dozed off again and when I opened my eyes, Edward was on his feet slowly pacing around the cage, fists clenched at his sides. His jaw was stiff, teeth grinding together and whenever he turned my way I could see his black eyes. His thirst was increasing and I guessed he was in pain since I could feel discomfort in my chest and throat, nothing to do with my own hunger. My throat seemed to be burning and I got up to drink some water, but it had no effect.

"You're feeling what I feel?" Edward asked in surprise, halting suddenly.

"Uh...a little, I guess." I didn't want him to think too much about that. "Is it your thirst?"

"You know when you're hungry and you smell something good to eat, your mouth waters?" he said.

"Yes." I immediately imagined steak sizzling on Sam and Emily's grill and my mouth did indeed water.

"With us, it's venom. It pools in the mouth and throat and eventually the stomach, but if we have nothing to feed on, it starts to burn." He shuddered and gulped and then resumed pacing.

He kept it up for another hour or so and I hated that I couldn't help him. I tried talking to him, attempting to take his mind off it just a little, but it didn't seem to work and I guessed I could understand. The gnawing ache in my empty stomach was becoming unbearable and I was starting to feel light-headed. I wondered if we would starve to death - if that was the intention of Aro and his friends. If so, we wouldn't exactly provide much entertainment, because my energy was diminishing and all I wanted to do was lie on the bunk and rest.

Edward stopped pacing and stood in front of the gate, gripping the bars tightly until his knuckles popped. After a moment he closed his eyes and groaned in pain and I realised suddenly there was something I could do. I was supposed to protect him with everything I had, even if it was my blood. I got up and went to him.

"Edward."

He ignored me and turned away from the gate, beginning to pace again, fists clenching and unclenching, eyes black as coal. I could feel his agony and I stepped in front of him.

"Edward, stop!" I grabbed him by the upper arms, forcing him to stand still. "Stop torturing yourself, you don't have to suffer like this. Feed from me, damn it! My blood regenerates as fast as I heal..." It probably wouldn't unless I got some food, but what the hell.

_"No! Stay away from me!" _Edward almost screamed the words and a second later I was flying to the other side of the cell, crashing against the wall. I looked at him, stunned, pulling myself up slowly.

"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely. "Just don't do that again. Don't even think it. If I do that, it'll kill us both."


	8. Chapter 8

**As always, thank you for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it :o)**

CHAPTER EIGHT

I pulled myself up slowly and went to sit back on the bunk. I wondered what he meant - that if he fed from me it would kill us both - but I didn't ask him and I put it out of my mind. He was standing in a corner of the cell with his back to me, gripping the bars, his head resting against one hand. I could feel his pain, both physical and mental, but I didn't know how to help, if I even could. I stared down at the floor between my feet and half closed my eyes.

I wondered how long we had been here. My sense of time was completely gone and I had noticed Edward wasn't wearing a wristwatch either. I knew my phone would have told me the time, but that didn't help with what day it was. I hoped Embry was worrying enough by now to speak to the others; surely it couldn't be too much longer and he was bound to call Carlisle again. Once more I wondered what had happened to Alice. She would be no match for thirty-two vampires on her own. Would she call her father and ask him to bring the rest of them?

"May I lie down, please?"

Edward's voice was barely above a whisper and I looked up quickly to find him standing in front of me.

"Sure, go ahead."

I moved to the end of the bunk and sat on the edge. Edward kicked his shoes off and stretched out, his face to the wall, his head resting on his folded arm. He was shivering and grinding his teeth together and occasionally he would let out a small gasp or whimper and then stiffen as if cursing himself for making a sound.

I didn't know how long we remained that way. I kept getting up to drink more water and Edward didn't move or speak. He just lay there trembling and I was almost tempted to reach out to touch his shoulder in an effort to offer comfort, but I didn't do it. Somehow I didn't think he would appreciate it and I doubted I would be able to stop myself flinching at the feel of him as I had before.

At last the door opened again and a vampire I hadn't seen before walked in carrying a basket. I immediately smelled food - fried chicken to be exact - and my stomach rumbled, my mouth watered and I got to my feet hopefully.

"Stay back," the vampire instructed and I halted halfway to the bars of the cage.

"You're not going to starve me then."

"Aro fears you'll quickly cease to be entertaining if you become weak," he said, crouching to push the basket between the bars, setting it on the floor of the cell.

"What about Edward?" I asked him.

"He's got a food supply right in there with him," he said with a smirk and turned away. In a second he was gone and I fell upon the food immediately, feeling horribly guilty for being able to satisfy myself while Edward lay there starving, but the smell of the chicken was too good to ignore. There were six large pieces and I tore into them eagerly, barely chewing the first two, but forcing myself to slow down and savour the remainder.

I stayed where I was sitting on the ground when I finished eating. I felt a lot better with my stomach at least partly filled and the delicious taste of the chicken lingering in my mouth, but I could still feel Edward's pain. I would have given him every last crumb of the food if he could have eaten it and again I wondered why he wouldn't feed from me. Maybe he worried that in my weakened state I wouldn't have recovered.

I stopped thinking about it again and got to my feet as the door opened once more. Alec and the one who had brought the food walked in and halted the other side of the gate out of my reach. In an instant Edward was on his feet beside me, his face furious.

"What have you done to her?!" he demanded.

I glanced at him in surprise.

"They have Alice," he said for my benefit. "Where is she?"

"Aro does not like trespassers, nor does he like to be taken for a fool," Alec said. "The girl seemed to think she could somehow attempt a rescue of you two, defeating the guard single-handedly."

"Ridiculous," snorted the other vampire. "She will be shown the error of her ways of course. Caius suggested inviting her to take up a position in the guard as she seems to have interesting and useful powers. She hasn't yet been convinced to say yes, but I'm sure she will be. If not..." He shrugged and smiled.

"You let her go!" Edward snarled. "Let her and Jacob go and _I_ will join the guard!"

_'Don't do this,' _I protested mentally. '_They won't agree, but do you really think I could just take off home and leave you here?'_

Edward glared at me briefly before turning back to our captors. "Well? Are you going to put my suggestion to Aro?"

"Nope!" Alec grinned. "I know exactly what he would say. He's having far too much fun watching your antics with the mutt."

"He has too much time on his hands."

"We all know you're going to feed from Jacob eventually, it's just a matter of time," the other vampire said and chuckled.

"Not going to happen. Let me see Alice!" Edward demanded.

"We'll see what Aro says, if he finds you entertaining enough today, maybe he'll let you see if she's still alive or not," Alec taunted and the pair of them turned to leave.

"Fuck!" Edward hissed, leaning against the gate when they had left. _"Fuck! _This is my fault! You and my sister are both in this mess because of me; if I hadn't been so selfish..." He groaned and closed his eyes.

He was shaking and looked as if he might collapse at any moment. I stepped in front of him and put my hands on his waist and he slumped against me immediately as if realising I would hold him up. I slid my arms around him and half carried him over to the bunk, lowering him onto it and sitting down on the edge.

"This isn't your fault, you didn't force Alice and me to come here."

"But I should have known she'd have one of her visions and either bring someone here or send them. If you don't make it, you'll both me on my conscience as well as Bella."

He turned away from me with a moan and I felt the fierce pain of his guilt in addition to his physical agony. This time I did reach out to him, giving his upper arm a squeeze and then simply resting my hand there. I could feel the coldness of his flesh through the thin sleeve of my shirt and curiously it didn't repel me any more. If he picked up on that thought he didn't comment, but continued to lie there with his eyes closed, shivering and occasionally letting out a soft groan.

I decided to rest some more, wanting to save the energy I had gained by eating and I pulled my legs up onto the bunk and leaned back against the wall, still keeping one hand resting on Edward as I closed my eyes and tried to relax. This time it was difficult to settle my mind which was full of questions. What was to become of us? Would we get out of here alive? Would my pack and the other Cullens do something to help us before it was too late?

Eventually I must have fallen asleep and when I opened my eyes again it was to the sound of voices. Edward was gone from the bunk and I rubbed my eyes and looked around, noticing him pacing slowly around the cell, his arms folded across his chest, hands gripping his biceps. The big vampire, Felix, was standing the other side of the gate watching him.

"Come, now, Edward, surely you must be suffering quite badly by now. Feeding from the wolf will at least provide momentary relief."

"Go to hell!" Edward spat.

I swung my legs off the edge of the bunk quickly and stood up, wondering what they were going to do now. Edward had stopped pacing and was standing in the middle of the cell with his back to me.

"It seems you just need a little encouragement," Felix shrugged and looked over his shoulder down the corridor. "Demetri! Bring her in!"

I sat up slowly and watched as the one named Demetri appeared, dragging a young blonde human along with him. Her face was pale and tear-stained and she was clad only in a loose-fitting cotton dress.

"Please, don't hurt me, please..." she begged, struggling to pull free of Demetri's grip.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, taking a few steps forward until I reached the bars of the cell.

"What do you think, mutt?" Felix said with a grin. His eyes flashed red. "Feeding time."

"No...please! Let me go! Don't hurt me!" The girl began to struggle and shriek, tossing her head about and trying in vain to escape. Felix reached out and gripped her by the back of her neck, jerking her away from Demetri and positioning her in front of him. He rested his free hand on her shoulder briefly, then grasped the neck of her dress and yanked it downwards, tearing the fabric and exposing her neck, shoulders and breasts. She screamed and fought and I watched in horror as Felix lowered his head towards her, pulling her hair aside.

"Don't! Let her go!" I cried. I had almost forgotten Edward and as I glanced at him now he turned his back on the spectacle, fastening his hands around the bars at the side of the cell and pressing his forehead against them. His whole body was shaking and his eyes squeezed shut.

Felix sank his teeth into the girl's exposed neck and her screams reduced to a terrified whimper. He drank greedily for a moment and then straightened up, allowing the wounds to continue spilling blood over her breasts and onto the torn dress. Even I could smell the strong coppery odour and I took another worried look at Edward. He was rigid, nostrils flaring, a low growl coming from between his clenched teeth. Felix began to chuckle evilly and what happened next was so fast that I barely registered it. A flash of movement and suddenly I was pinned with my back to the rear wall of the cage. I barely had time to suck in a breath before Edward's teeth tore into my neck and he began drawing my blood from me in strong gulps. My heartbeat quickened, pumping my life force faster through my veins to the point from where it was leaving my body. I could see Felix grinning triumphantly, Aro, Alec and several others all watching in delight from the doorway, and I closed my eyes to shut them out, trying not to grimace at the sharp pain of Edward's teeth. I slid my arms around him, holding tight to him as he continued to feed. I could feel his anguish over the fact that he had been forced into doing what he had so far refused and I attempted to soothe him.

"It's alright, Edward, it's alright," I murmured over and over. I didn't want him to feel guilty and in truth, I would have given him every last drop of my blood if he needed it rather than see him suffer. Immediately he dragged his mouth away from my neck and pushed himself away from me, staggering backwards and thrusting his hands into his hair, tugging at the roots. I put a hand on the wall behind me, dizzy from the blood loss, my legs wobbling.

"It's not alright," he said hoarsely. "We can't drink wolf blood; it's poison to us."

"Oh, God..." I leaned more heavily on the wall, wondering what my chances were of making it to the bunk before I collapsed on the ground. My body's attempts to counteract the blood loss would use up any energy gained from the food I had been given and then some. I began to see spots before my eyes and prayed I wasn't going to faint.

Felix and Demetri both giggled like schoolboys and then simultaneously fell to feeding from the girl. I didn't watch the gruesome scene, instead keeping my eyes on Edward as he sat down on the end of the bunk and wrapped his arms around himself, biting his lip and rocking slightly.

"You know, you two are very entertaining," Felix said suddenly. "Come on, Demetri, we'll come back later. Get rid of the girl, will you?" He walked off and I shuddered at the sight of the smaller vampire picking up the drained body of the girl and carrying it the way one might carry a sack of garbage as he followed Felix. The others withdrew and closed the door after them.

I staggered to the bunk to sit beside Edward and touched his arm. I was beyond horrified that he had been forced to feed from me out of desperation, knowing that every mouthful could kill him.

"Can I do anything?" I asked.

He shook his head and didn't look at me.

"If it stays in my system it'll kill me and if I get rid of it, I'll be back to starving. Which would you prefer?"

"I'm sorry."

He shook his head again and coughed slightly, hugging his stomach. "I just wish you hadn't come here. Such a waste, you and Alice. I'm still going to end up the same way as I would...if you...hadn't," he choked out.

He placed a hand over his mouth and coughed hard again. When he removed his hand I noticed blood on the palm and my stomach lurched, with fear rather than revulsion. I had no idea what to expect and there wasn't a thing I could do. Edward threw himself off the bunk suddenly, landing on his knees on the floor at the other side of the cell where the toilet was. I watched, horrified, as great gouts of blood exploded from his mouth into the toilet bowl. There must have been a good two or three pints, possibly more.

"It looks...worse...than it is," he spluttered, flushing the toilet and sitting back on his heels, wiping his mouth.

I doubted that. He looked terrible, his skin seeming translucent, lips almost grey. His eyes were still black and he scrambled to his feet now and made his way slowly back to the bunk.

"I'll be alright," he said, apparently to convince himself rather than me. He would still suffer and I hated that I couldn't do anything about it.

He lowered himself slowly onto the mattress and curled up facing the wall. "I'm alright," he said again.

Still weak and tired, I stretched out beside him and closed my eyes, deciding to try sleeping for a while. My blood would regenerate quicker that way, although I worried that now I had nothing left in me with which to do it.

This time I did find it impossible to rest; my worry for Edward was too intense. If he had managed to throw up all of the blood he drank he would continue to starve to death and if any was left inside him, he would die of poisoning. I was helpless and I wanted to yell and scream, demand that Aro come to see me and offer myself for whatever horrific plan he could think of if he would let Edward go, but I knew that wouldn't happen. They would all just find my despair amusing and stand there grinning and clapping their hands like they were at the theatre.

_Theatre._ Immediately I remembered waking to the sound of Edward reciting 'Romeo and Juliet'. He had said it brought him comfort.

"Edward."

"Uh..."

"Turn over." I put my hand on his arm and tugged at him. "Come on, I want you to look at me."

"What for?"

"Humour me?"

He rolled over slowly until he faced me and raised his black eyes slowly to mine, licking his dry lips.

"What?"

"You were reciting 'Romeo and Juliet' and I woke up and interrupted. It brings comfort, you said. Will you carry on with it?"

"You seriously want to hear that?" he murmured, frowning slightly.

"Yes!" I said fiercely. "What else can we do right now except pass the time? Please, go on with it."

"I forget where I was."

"Something about a grave; an unmade grave."

"Oh...the scene with Romeo and Friar Laurence. Um..." He closed his eyes and thought for a moment, then began to speak again in different tones as he had before.

_"Arise; one knocks; good Romeo, hide thyself._

_"Not I; unless the breath of heartsick groans, mist-like, infold me from the search of eyes._

_"Hark, how they knock! Who's there? Romeo, arise; thou wilt be taken. Stay awhile! Stand up..."_

He continued with the rest of the play, although it was clearly becoming more of an effort to keep talking. He paused often, shivering and moaning in discomfort, at one point thrusting his hand out and clutching at me, his fingers curling into a fist around a handful of my t-shirt, which he continued to hold onto as he recited the final scene of the play.

_"A glooming peace this morning with it brings; the sun, for sorrow, will not show his head. Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things; some shall be pardoned, and some punished; for never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo."_

I had studied 'Romeo and Juliet' in school myself, but obviously didn't pay very much attention. I knew they died, but with Edward reciting it that way, it seemed much more poignant than reading it in an English class. In addition, I knew that we were both slowly dying and if someone didn't come to our aid soon, it would be too late.

I had always thought vampires could only die when torn apart or burned, but now I was watching Edward slipping away in front of me. He didn't speak again and eventually his shivering stopped. With no heartbeat or breath, no warmth in his body and no response to my voice or touch, I had no way of knowing whether he was still with me or not. I wished I'd had the opportunity to tell him about my Imprint and I wondered now if he was still alive, whether he could pick up on my thoughts; whether he could feel the pull of it; whether he could use that connection to hold on just a little bit longer. I decided it didn't matter whether one of the Volturi picked up my thoughts now; there wasn't very much they could do to us that they hadn't already done and we were too weak and sick to provide them with much more entertainment.

I took myself back to the day when Edward had brought Bella to me on the cliff road, how I had posed there with the Rabbit, flexing my muscles, projecting my thoughts about her towards him to piss him off. I showed him what had really happened that I had been so quick to hide; my brown eyes meeting his gold ones over her shoulder, the instant tie being formed between us, my shock and desperation to hide it.

I pictured myself racing up the mountain after Bella's death, feeling Edward's pain more than my own, anxious to get to him to try to help him. And then the scene I had shown him just days ago; me writhing in pain on my bunk at home - pain over the loss of him rather than Bella, omitting her photograph which I had made up previously. Edward made no sign at all that he heard my thoughts and I feared that it was too late. I couldn't feel his pain any more; I couldn't feel anything from him. His hand was still fisted in my shirt, but I didn't try to pry it off of me. I doubted I had very long left myself and instead I edged closer to him and slid both my arms around him. I touched the back of his neck with one hand and then stroked my fingers through his hair. It felt like silk and I marvelled that someone dead could feel so real and alive. I stilled my hand and closed my eyes, wondering if I would ever open them again. If Edward was gone, it would be a mercy for me if I slipped away too.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I murmured. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe."

**A/N - I want to recommend another Jake/Ed story, 'Domesticating Jacob' by Lineia which is a great read! Also some of my other favourite authors, Elfprincess8 and ant1gon3 have some awesome stories posted :o)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for all the great reviews on the last chapter and sorry for the awful cliffhanger! :o)**

CHAPTER NINE

I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if I had actually slipped away to wherever wolves went after they died. All I knew was that someone was trying to pull Edward out of my arms and no way in hell was I going to let him go. I tightened my grip and tried to find my voice.

"No! Don't take him away from me!" I sounded rough and croaky and my throat hurt with the effort. Surely you didn't still feel pain if you were dead?

"Jacob! Open your eyes!" It was Embry's voice and I forced my eyelids up in surprise. I was lying on my back staring up at his worried face, my arms clutching Edward tightly to me while Jasper tried to pry him free.

"Don't," I repeated. "Leave me alone. I'm supposed to go with him." Pain ripped through me and I gasped, struggling to breathe. How could I survive without my Imprint? It had been bad enough just being separated from him.

"He's not dead, Jacob, I can feel him," Jasper said. "We're going to get you out of here." He tried to pull Edward's hand off of my shirt and the fabric ripped.

"Leave him, damn you!" I snapped.

I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or pretending Edward was still alive so I would let him go. I squeezed my eyes shut again for a moment and then opened them. Was I really awake? How were Embry and Jasper here in the cell with us? My head spun and I remembered it was way too long since I had eaten, in addition to Edward draining half of my blood out of me.

"Oh, God, I poisoned him," I moaned.

"What do you mean?" Embry and Jasper were both pulling me up now, trying to get me on my feet and support Edward in my arms at the same time.

"He fed from me."

"Shit," muttered Jasper. "We have to get you out of here fast. The place is on fire."

"What? How? How are you here?" I mumbled.

"Alice called," Jasper said. "And then Embry called Carlisle right after."

"I didn't hear from you, I was tearing my hair out," he confirmed.

They really were here and they were dragging me out of the cell. I struggled to put one foot in front of the other, my arms clutching Edward for dear life. I barely had the strength to hold onto him and I gave up on trying to support my own weight. Embry and Jasper could probably have lifted a truck between them and they could certainly carry both me and Edward. Each of them were gripping me under an arm, Jasper also taking the weight of the lower half of Edward's body. I was almost unaware of our journey along corridors, up steps and suddenly out into the daylight. It was grey and overcast and I breathed deep, my nostrils prickling from the smell of smoke inside which somehow I hadn't recognised until now when I was free of it. As I looked up I saw flames licking out of several of the windows and blood curdling screams could be heard within.

As Embry and Jasper carried us past the fountain towards a waiting vehicle - a Hummer, I realised - Carlisle and Sam exploded out of the building, Sam in wolf form, and came to our sides. Carlisle unlocked the Hummer and I found myself and Edward bundled into the back where I slumped onto the plush leather seat in relief. Carlisle joined us along with Jasper, Embry slid into the driver's seat and Sam phased quickly and climbed up beside him, still naked. A few more seconds and we were hurtling away down an impossibly narrow street, barely clearing the walls of the buildings on either side. I wondered how on earth they had managed to get us out, with thirty-two impossibly powerful vampires in the place, but there were more important things on my mind right now.

"Carlisle..." I gasped. "Can you help Edward? He drank maybe half of my blood. Threw it back up, but I'm not sure if any was left."

"We need to get him back to the hotel, step on it, Embry," Carlisle said. "I can help him, but it's risky. I know the theory, I just haven't done it before."

"Done what?" Jasper asked.

"Drain him to the point of death to remove any poison left in him..."

"He's already at the point of death," I groaned. I let my head drop back against the seat. "I thought I was too. I'm so weak."

"Shit...sorry..." Sam finished wriggling into the shorts he had apparently left in the vehicle and turned around, leaning over the seat with a bag in his hand which he passed to Jasper. "Steak sandwiches," he added.

Jasper unwrapped one of the sandwiches and gave it to me and sick as I felt with my worry for Edward, I began to wolf it down. I was no use to him in my weakened state and I couldn't help a smirk at the disgusted look on Jasper's face as I ate greedily, finishing all six of the sandwiches in the bag in less than ten minutes. Through all this Edward remained completely motionless, his fist still locked onto my shirt, nothing about him giving any sign that he was aware of what was going on around him.

"Did Embry tell you...about me?" I asked, looking from Carlisle to Jasper and then over at Sam. None of them had mentioned it and I wasn't sure, but they must have been curious as to why I had come to Italy to help Edward when everyone thought we loathed each other.

"Yeah," Embry said, concentrating fiercely on the road.

Carlisle and Jasper exchanged glances, but didn't speak. Sam turned around again briefly.

"Don't worry about it now, Jacob, we'll deal with it when we get home," he said.

"Deal with it? What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded. "He's my Imprint! You can't _deal_ with it; you either accept it or you don't, but it's a fact and...!"

"Alright, Jacob, calm down, no one has said there's a problem," Sam interrupted.

"But there is, isn't there? Has a wolf ever Imprinted on a vampire before? Or a male?"

"No, but..."

"So do you think the elders will accept this? Will you?" I aimed this last at Carlisle and he frowned slightly.

"My concern right now is to save Edward. We won't worry about anything until..."

"Until you see whether he makes it or not?" I growled. "That would make things easier, wouldn't it? If he didn't. Why did you bother getting us out? The freak that I am would have been gone in a few more hours."

I lifted a hand to swipe at the angry tears which suddenly sprang from my eyes and Sam looked slightly more sympathetic. "Don't say that, Jacob. We'll work it out, no one will try to keep you away from your Imprint." He eyed Carlisle with an expression that dared him to argue and the older vampire said nothing.

The journey back to the hotel in Florence which the Cullens and the pack had practically taken over, seemed endless. Sam received text messages on the journey and reported that all of the pack had made it out of Volterra safely and were following us in the two other vehicles they had rented at the airport. Carlisle received a message too, but he didn't relay what it said. I noticed his face stiffen as he read it, but he avoided Jasper's eyes and merely nodded at him. I wanted to ask if everyone was ok, especially Alice who had apparently been imprisoned like us, but I kept my mouth shut, something telling me there was a problem he didn't want to voice just then.

At last the Hummer pulled up in the parking lot of a tall building with hanging baskets of brightly coloured flowers suspended on hooks all along the front wall and I realised with relief that a good portion of my strength had already returned. I gathered Edward into my arms properly and slid out of the vehicle, planting my feet carefully on the ground and taking a couple of experimental steps before I confirmed to the others that my legs would hold me up fine.

Carlisle led the way into the building and up a flight of stairs, unlocked a room and ushered me inside. A king size bed dominated the room and I lowered Edward carefully onto it, then slid my t-shirt off rather than have one of them try to force his fingers to let go of it again.

"What now?" I asked.

"I think you should leave Jasper and I to take care of him," Carlisle said. "This won't be easy for you to stomach."

"When we were in that cell, I had to watch two of the Volturi kill a girl right in front of me, just so the smell of her blood would force Edward to feed from me. Minutes later he was vomiting up everything he drank. You think I can't stomach whatever you're going to do?"

Jasper looked horrified by my words and Carlisle merely nodded. Sam and Embry left us and went to wait for the others to arrive. Carlisle grabbed a black doctor's bag and another large box with a handle from the side of the room and opened both. In less than a minute he had a feeding tube in Edward's nose, hooked up to a bag of blood which he suspended above the bed on a picture hook. The tap was off, but he instructed Jasper to be ready to turn it on as soon as he indicated. I watched fearfully as Carlisle placed a large bowl on the bed beside Edward's body and then sat down, picking up his arm and rolling up the sleeve of my shirt.

"Be careful you don't swallow any," Jasper said worriedly.

Carlisle nodded and a second later his teeth tore into Edward's wrist. I ground my teeth together and paced up and down, watching in alarm as he drew one mouthful of blood after another from Edward and spat each into the bowl. It went on and on for several minutes, but I doubted the end result even made up a pint. At last he stopped, nodded at Jasper and then went to dispose of the bowl of the blood and wash his mouth out with something that smelled appalling. Meanwhile Jasper had started the flow of blood from the bag into the tube and it was rapidly making its way into Edward's body.

"I got it all," Carlisle said. "Now it's just a waiting game. There's still no guarantee that Jacob's blood didn't damage him too badly during the time it's been in his body."

After a few minutes I sat down on the bed in the place Carlisle had vacated, kicking off my boots and pulling my feet up in front of me, my eyes fixed on Edward in the hopes of seeing some sign that he was alive - or as alive as a vampire can be. Three times Carlisle replaced the bag of blood with a fresh one and it continued to travel down the tube into Edward.

"Why doesn't he come round?" I asked at one point.

"It may be hours, or even days, if at all," Carlisle said. "Like I said, I've never done this before, only read about it. It'd be best if you go and join your guys and try to get some sleep."

"I'm not leaving him."

"Very well," Carlisle sighed. "Look, it'll be a while before that bag empties and four should be enough. I need to speak to Esme and the others. This is my phone." He placed a cell on the table close to me and it reminded me that my own had been left behind. "If anything happens, call Esme's number and I'll come back. Come on, Jasper."

"Yeah, I need to see Alice," Jasper said. He left the room first and Carlisle lingered for another moment.

"Is Alice ok?" I asked quietly.

"She didn't make it. Two of them killed her before we could get to her."

"Oh, God, I'm sorry," I groaned.

A second later a deafening scream came from the room next door and I guessed one of the others had told Jasper that Alice was gone. Carlisle left the room in a flash and closed the door behind him. The little pixie had irritated the hell out of me with her insults, but I wouldn't have wished this on her.

I turned my attention back to Edward and picked up his hand from where it lay beside him, enfolding it in both of mine. It was cold and stiff, as you would expect a corpse to feel after rigor mortis had begun to set in, but I didn't even flinch, I just held it tight and watched his face, trying to think of something to say to him. I couldn't think of any words, so I simply thought. I thought about the Imprint, going over again how it had happened and I thought about Edward reciting 'Romeo and Juliet' to me, how I had pretended to be asleep as I listened and he knew immediately that I was awake. I thought about him waking up and us all going back to Forks, perhaps finding a way to be friends. He made no movement or sound to show that he heard me and after the last bag of blood emptied, I sent Esme a text to let Carlisle know. He returned and removed the tube from Edward's nose and asked whether I wanted company. I shook my head.

"I think you all need to be together right now," I said.

"Thank you," Carlisle nodded. "Don't hesitate to call me if you need me. If Edward should wake, he'll want to feed. There are some cups of...blood in the refrigerator over there, but like I said, you can call me, don't worry about doing this yourself."

"Why don't you just let me take care of him? None of this affects me the way it used to."

"Alright. Thank you," he repeated and left the room again.

I slid off the bed and went to use the bathroom, then checked out the refrigerator. There were six foam cups with lids on the bottom shelf, plus a couple bottles of coke and on top of the fridge were assorted packs of chips and nuts and a basket of fruit. I grabbed one of the cokes and some of the food and went back to the bed, deciding to top up my energy supply a little more while I sat watching Edward.

Maybe an hour later there was a light tap on the door and it opened to admit Embry. He closed it behind him and glanced at my hands holding Edward's.

"You have feelings for him?"

"Of course I do, he's my Imprint."

"No, I meant...you know what I mean..._those _sort of feelings."

I smirked at him, despite the gravity of the situation. "You mean do I have the hots for him? No. I don't know what I feel exactly, but it's not sexual. I don't know if it'll become that way. Hell knows how that would work."

Embry grimaced. "I brought you some clothes," he said, indicating the bag in his hand which I hadn't yet noticed. He moved forward and placed it beside the bed. "They're Paul's; we didn't think about getting more of your things before we left, but he's your size."

"Yeah, thanks, I really need a shower," I said. "I'll do that now if you can stay five minutes."

"And do what?" Embry glanced at Edward with alarm and I placed his hand back on the mattress and let go of it.

"Just watch him. If he moves even a tiny bit, let me know."

"Shit, Jake," he grumbled.

"He won't bite." I grinned at the awful joke, grabbed the bag and headed for the bathroom. I left the door open so I would easily hear if anything happened and quickly peeled off my pants and underwear. I smelled terrible I realised, several days without a shower or even a good wash. It was a mercy Edward wasn't able to smell me, my odour was way worse than wet dog.

I scrubbed myself vigorously, making use of the hotel shampoo and shower gel provided, then I shaved too and brushed my teeth. By the time I was dry and wearing a pair of Paul's jeans and a t-shirt, I felt a lot better and I returned to the room quickly. Edward hadn't moved at all and Embry took off with relief, saying either he or one of the others would come back in a little while and bring me some food.

It was Carlisle who came to the room later, carrying a tray on which was a plate covered by a silver cloche. Whatever was beneath it smelled delicious and he placed on the small table across the room, suggesting I eat while he checked on Edward. I did just that. The cloche hid a thick slab of rare steak accompanied by fries, mushrooms, tomatoes and onion rings. Also on the tray was a glass of chocolate milkshake and a large piece of apple pie and cream. I did my best to eat with at least some semblance of manners, but found it almost impossible as the smell and taste of the food assaulted my senses. I ate faster and faster until I was cramming the apple pie into my mouth in huge bites, pausing occasionally to take gulps of the milk. I glanced at Carlisle a couple of times, but thankfully he was looking at Edward and not me.

Carlisle was in two minds about staying now or returning to Esme, but I refused to leave and in the end he decided Edward wouldn't be any worse off with me than with himself. He was still showing no sign of recovery and whoever kept him company couldn't actually do anything.

"Are there any books here?" I asked the doctor as he moved towards the door.

"Books? Oh, you want something to pass the time?"

"I want a copy of 'Romeo and Juliet' if there's one to be found," I said.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow.

"It's Edward's favourite play," I said. "Maybe if I read it, he'll hear."

The man actually smiled now and opened the door. "I'll see what I can do. This isn't Verona, but I'm sure there is a copy to be had somewhere."

"Verona?" I queried, but he had already gone.

Maybe an hour later, another tap on the door and Rosalie appeared although she didn't come any closer than the doorway.

"How is he?" she asked through her teeth, a slight sneer on her face.

"The same."

"Carlisle asked me to get this." She tossed me a plastic bag with _'L'ippogrifo' _printed on it. Inside was a rather antique-looking copy of 'Romeo and Juliet', apparently printed in both Italian and English.

"Thanks, Rosalie," I said in surprise.

She just nodded and backed out of the room, closing the door again behind her. I decided to make myself more comfortable and propped a pillow up against the wall, sitting up beside Edward with my back against it and my legs stretched out in front of me.

"Ok, Edward, you better not laugh," I said awkwardly. "Reading out loud isn't one of my talents and I'll just sound like a dick if I try and do all the voices, but we'll give it a go." I opened the book to the first page, realised it was in Italian and flicked through to the middle until I found the English version. I almost felt like a small boy at school getting ready to read to the teacher.

_"Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona..._so that's what he meant about Verona. Sorry." I cleared my throat and started again.

_"Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes a pair of star-crossed lovers take their life; whose misadventured piteous overthrows do with their death bury their parents' strife. The fearful passage of their death-marked love, and the continuance of their parents' rage, which, but their children's end, nought could remove, is now the two hours' traffic of our stage; the which if you with patient ears attend, what here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend." _

I read the entire thing, laboriously with some stuttering over old fashioned words I had never heard before and throughout Edward gave no sign he heard me - right up until the end when I closed the book and then I could have sworn his hand twitched just slightly. I tossed the book aside and touched his hand.

"Edward! Can you hear me?"

He didn't move again and I picked his hand up in mine, squeezing it and rubbing his knuckles.

"Let me know you can hear me, just move something," I begged.

Several minutes passed and then suddenly his thumb moved. I both felt it and saw it and my heart began to hammer. It was barely anything, but it was enough to give me hope that he was slowly coming back to me.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Edward didn't move any more over the next couple hours and I was struggling to keep my eyes open. Carlisle returned to say he and Emmett were taking Jasper out hunting. His grief over Alice was showing itself by way of temper and they decided racing off into the countryside surrounding Florence and killing whatever wildlife they may find there might help him burn some of it off.

"How did 'Romeo and Juliet' go down?" the doctor asked before he left again.

"I don't know if he heard me or not. He moved his hand at the end, but that was a couple hours ago."

"It's a good sign, but it could still be hours."

"I'm gonna get some sleep," I said and yawned.

"Do you want Esme to come and sit with you?" he suggested.

"No." I shook my head. "I'll feel it if anything changes."

Carlisle left and I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and use the toilet, then stripped down to Paul's shorts, turned out the light and stretched out on the bed beside Edward. For a few minutes I lay on my side facing him, touching his arm and squeezing the hard cold flesh, hoping for some kind of response, but there was none. I took my hand away and rolled onto my back and in minutes I was asleep.

I woke later with a start as something thumped onto my stomach - something hard and cold. My eyes flew open in the darkness and I grabbed Edward's fist with both hands.

"Uh..."

"Edward!" I reached out quickly and switched on the lamp on the bed table. His arm jerked, apparently involuntarily, but then his eyes opened suddenly and stared up at the ceiling. I sat up and touched his shoulder. "Hey."

He turned his black eyes on me and licked dry lips, trying to speak, but uttering nothing except for another soft grunt.

"Don't move." I threw myself off the bed and went to the refrigerator, grabbing two of the cups of blood. When I returned to Edward he made a brief attempt to move and push himself up, but immediately fell back weakly against the pillows.

"I said don't move."

I set the cups on the bed table and sat down beside him, sliding one arm under his shoulders to prop him up. I manoeuvred myself so that his back rested against my chest, leaving my arms free, and reached out to take one of the cups. I uncapped it and held it to his lips, eyeing the dark burgundy liquid curiously. It almost looked like wine except for the slightly viscous appearance. Edward's nostrils flared out and he took a sip, then another. His eyes closed and he moaned softly as he took a larger gulp. Then suddenly his hands came up shakily to grab at the cup, tilting it more and more as he drank greedily, eventually tipping it too far until blood spilled from the corners of his mouth and down his neck onto my shirt that he still wore.

"Woah, steady," I murmured. The cup was already empty and I set it aside.

"Fuck," Edward muttered. "Sorry. You shouldn't be doing this."

"It doesn't matter. We'll clean it up later. Here." I picked up the second cup and held it in front of him. His hands were steadier now and he held it himself and drank slower, but still emptied it in record time. I took the cup from him and set it on the table. "Do you need more?"

"Yes. Please."

I shifted from behind him and propped the pillows up so he could lean against them, then returned to the refrigerator for two more cups. Edward straightened himself up a little and peeled off the blood-stained shirt, using it to wipe his face and neck. I sat down facing him this time and passed him the third cup. With each one he drained he seemed a little more alert, a little stronger, but his eyes remained black and he avoided looking directly at me. When he finished the fourth he did look up.

"Where is everyone? Are they all ok?"

I had been prepared for the question and I carefully didn't let out any thoughts about Alice. I wasn't sure whether I should tell him or leave it to Carlisle and decided to just play it by ear.

"They're in some of the other rooms, your family and my pack. I think we took over most of the hotel."

"Where are we?"

"Florence."

"I don't remember anything," he frowned. "I remember...reciting 'Romeo and Juliet' and then there was just nothing. That's not right; I felt things, but as if from a distance. You were trying to tell me something; hold onto me somehow."

"Yeah, I thought you were dying, I wanted you to hang on," I said.

"It's more than that. You...I saw you..." He closed his eyes as if trying to recall something. "You showed me things in your mind that you'd been hiding." His eyes snapped open again suddenly. "I'm your Imprint?"

Shit. I didn't feel ready to actually talk about it. Talking was a whole lot different from sending him my thoughts when I didn't really think he would hear them. What if he hated it? What if he sent me away and refused to see me?

"Yes," I whispered.

"So what does it mean?"

"You really want to talk about this now?"

He nodded. "Good a time as any. You're still keeping things from me, there's a wall up in your mind."

"I don't want you knowing all my secrets," I said lightly. Somewhat clumsily I began to explain the point of Imprinting to him, avoiding his eyes when they filled with shock at the mention of a wolf choosing its 'mate'. At least he hadn't thrown me out of the room or told me to go fuck myself and I quickly continued by telling him that Imprinting wolves strove to be what their Imprints needed, even if that were only a friend, brother, back-up and so on and could continue that way indefinitely.

"So, you don't...um...have the hots for me or anything?" he said awkwardly at this point.

"Hell, no! We're the biggest turn-off to each other in existence, right? Wet dog and a leech?" I blurted, wondering if joking would make that part of the conversation easier. The corner of Edward's mouth twitched upwards into a crooked smile and I heaved a sigh of relief. I continued with a little more about the unbreakable connection, the way I could feel his pain and how it affected me when I was away from him for too long.

"I guess it explains a lot," he said then. "Like the connection I felt to you, especially when we were in that cell and I passed out. Like the fact that you came all this way; that suddenly you're wanting to help me instead of thinking about things that you knew would piss me off."

"You're not...pissed off about this?" I asked.

"No. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I'm not pissed. I guess I'd be dead now if it wasn't for you."

"You wanted to be," I reminded him.

"Yeah." His black eyes seemed to dull with sudden pain. "But I didn't think about how selfish I was being. I didn't think I could get over losing her."

"Do you now?"

"I guess I will one day." He looked around the room then, eyeing the empty cups on the bed table, the old copy of 'Romeo and Juliet' sitting next to them. "Did you read that to me?"

"I thought if you could hear it, it might bring you comfort," I said, repeating his own words and feeling my cheeks heat up a touch.

"I think I was aware of it, towards the end." He almost seemed to shake himself and then glanced down at his bare torso. "I really need a shower."

I would have expected the conversation to last longer, for him to ask more questions, but he was still incredibly weak and had a lot more important things to worry about than how I might feel about him. I was at least relieved that he hadn't seemed horrified or even very surprised, only curious. I had no doubt we would come back to it later, however, probably when we reached Forks.

"Are you sure you should get up?" I asked as he slid his legs off the side of the bed and cautiously placed his feet on the floor.

"I'm ok." He pushed himself up and swayed slightly, then made his way slowly to the bathroom, weaving like a drunk and almost falling when he bumped against the door jamb. I sprang up and grabbed his arm.

"Jeez, let me help."

"You've done enough." He licked his lips. "I mean, thanks, but I can manage."

"Fine, but I'm staying here in case you collapse in there or something."

He didn't answer, but slowly began to unbuckle his belt. He rested one hand on the wall for support and removed his pants, shorts and socks with one hand. I avoided looking at him and when he was in the shower stall with the water running, I went back into the bedroom and looked through Carlisle's bags in the hopes I might find some fresh clothes that Edward could wear. They were about the same size and after a moment I found a small case containing neatly folded clothing. I took out underwear, socks, light grey pants and a white shirt and then flew back to the bathroom at the sound of a loud bang.

"Edward!" He was sitting on the floor of the stall with the water cascading over him and I opened the glass door and turned it off quickly.

"You were saying?" he said wrily. "I'm weaker than I thought."

"You almost died," I reminded him, slipping my hands under his armpits to hoist him up. "Hold onto me."

"Sorry."

"Don't keep saying that, I'm supposed to help you."

"Yeah, well it'll take some getting used to." He gripped my shoulders to support himself and I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around him quickly, uncomfortably aware that the only piece of clothing we had on between us was the shorts I wore. I helped him out of the shower and he sat down heavily on the toilet lid. Picking up another towel, I dried his hair and upper body and slowly he finished the lower half and put on the clean clothes. I was just leading him back to the bed when a loud crash came from the next room, followed by a scream of rage and then another sound that could have been a piece of furniture breaking.

"What the hell? That was Jasper!" Edward gasped. "Where's Alice?"

_'She didn't make it out.'_ The thought broke loose in my head before I could stop it. "Fuck..."

"Alice is dead?" Pain flashed across Edward's face and I felt it immediately as if I had been punched in the chest. Despite his weakened state, he spun away from me and his fist slammed into the wall beside the door. Plaster crumbled and a picture fell from a hook nearby and smashed on the floor.

"Edward..."

"No, no, she can't be, not because of me," he moaned. "It should have been me!"

His other fist hit the wall and then his legs gave way beneath him and he crumpled onto the thick carpet. I dropped to my knees behind him and put my hands on his shoulders as he lowered his face into his hands with a groan.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. He was shivering and I wrapped both arms around him and held him against my chest. A second later the door burst open and I looked up at the huge and angry figure of Emmett Cullen.

"You're awake, then," he directed at Edward, as if he couldn't care less whether his brother was ok or not.

"Uh...how's...Jasper?" Edward croaked, raising his head slowly.

"How the fuck do you think he is? If it hadn't been for your drama, he'd still have his soul mate!" Emmett snarled.

"Hey!" I protested. Edward was trembling in my arms and I resisted the urge to growl.

"What the hell business is it of yours? You shouldn't even be in here! Fucking mutt!" Emmett continued. "You want to know what I think of this stupid Imprint thing?"

_"Not...now...Emmett!"_ Edward yelled suddenly, jerking his head up and almost smashing me in the nose. "Jacob saved my life!"

"Well, it wouldn't have needed saving, would it, if you hadn't come here? First Bella, making us all tiptoe around the fragile little human, trying to keep Jasper under control near her and just when we thought we got rid of that shit, now it's a fucking wolf! What the hell is wrong with you, Edward?"

"Emmett! That is enough!" Esme's voice made up in volume for what she lacked in size and Emmett almost seemed to shrink a few inches as he stepped aside and turned to look at her. "Go back to your room, Emmett," she said firmly and waited for him to leave before she closed the door. "Edward, how are you feeling?"

"Sick," he choked out. "Thirsty. I hate myself."

"Sshh, don't," I murmured.

"Don't take any notice of Emmett, he's just upset about...Alice." Esme gulped and sighed. "This isn't usual behaviour for him."

"Don't you think I'm upset too? She'd be ok if it wasn't for me," Edward groaned.

"You can't think like that. You did what you needed to do at the time; so did she. No one could have stopped her coming here and she only sent a message to let us know when she was already on the way. You know how impulsive she is...was. She thought a discreet appearance from just her would be easier than all of us trying to storm the Volturi to get to you."

"Did they make her suffer?"

"No, Rosalie saw, she said it was quick, but she was just too late. She killed the two guards responsible."

"Jasper's never going to forgive me."

"He doesn't blame you, Edward. He would have come himself if Alice only would have told him what she was doing." Esme grasped one of his hands and gave it a squeeze. "Let's get you up off the floor."

"I can manage," I said. Once again I scooped Edward up into my arms, pushed myself up to my feet and carried him over to the bed. Then I went back to the refrigerator to get the two remaining cups of blood.

"Thank you for taking care of him, Jacob," Esme said.

"Me being here doesn't...bother you?" I asked.

"Not as long as you're here for my son."

"I'm not going anywhere," I nodded.

"Thank you. I'll leave you to it. I'll see you later, Edward." She left the room and closed the door quietly.

"Were you going to tell me? I mean, before your thoughts caught you out?"

"I didn't know if it was my place or not. I didn't want to give you any more pain while you're still so weak." I sat down next to him and passed him one of the cups.

"I can't believe she's gone. My little sister. It should have been me. This fucking sucks." He flipped the cap off the cup and began to gulp the contents with a resigned look. When it was empty I gave him the other.

"How much do you need?" I asked.

"This'll do. It takes a lot to stop the thirst sometimes. I must have been running on empty."

"Carlisle drained everything you had left in you," I told him. "To make sure none of my poison was left. That's probably why you don't have much strength."

"Yeah." He put down the second empty cup a moment later. "When are we going home?"

"I don't know, I suppose when you're strong enough and Jasper is ok to travel."

He nodded. "Does everybody know? About the Imprint?"

"Yes, I only told Embry and Alice, but they told the others."

"What do your guys think?"

"I'm not sure. I only really talked to Embry and Sam a little bit. I don't think they understand it. A wolf has never Imprinted on a vampire before; or a male."

"So we're making history then."

"I guess. I really need to get some more sleep." I was exhausted I realised and I stretched out on the bed again. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, thank you."

"Well, wake me up if you do." I let my eyes close and within minutes I was drifting into sleep.

I woke to daylight and noise. Jasper was in the room, sobbing loudly as he and Edward clung to each other and cried. I rolled off the bed and slipped into the bathroom to give them some privacy, closing the door and getting in the shower. I took my time and didn't emerge until the only sound from the other side of the door was low voices talking and then I found Carlisle had arrived as well, bringing with him another supply of blood which the two younger vampires were sharing, and a cooked breakfast for me. I quickly scrambled into Paul's clothes again and dug into the food. Carlisle announced that we would be leaving for the airport shortly and that I should go and find my pack who were in the rooms on the other side of the corridor. I hesitated for a second and glanced at Edward, hoping he would at least look up and acknowledge me. Of course he did; he heard my thoughts and his head turned towards me quickly. When his eyes lifted I saw they were back to their swirling golden-brown colour and I smiled immediately.

_'You look better,'_ I thought.

"I'm ok. See you later," he said and turned back to Jasper.

I left them to it and went in search of the pack, wondering what my reception was going to be. The first door I knocked on was a lucky choice and I found Embry and Quil on the other side of it. They were just finishing their own breakfast and both seemed glad to see me. They immediately wanted to hear everything about my ordeal at the Volturi and I skimmed over it, avoiding the more unpleasant details.

"How's...Edward?" Embry asked eventually. Quil glanced at him and then back at me. I could only imagine what they had all been saying about me.

"He's ok now. Look, if you two want to say anything to me, just say it," I urged. "I'm sure no one's happy about what happened. I mean, first me Imprinting and then you all getting dragged over here into a fight that was nothing to do with you."

"No one cares about the fight," Quil said at once and then grinned. "Especially Paul. He was in his element. You should have seen him. He ripped the head of this huge vampire and threw it out of the window, right through the glass."

"There was a big mean bastard called Felix," I said with a smile. "I hope that was him."

"As for the Imprint...everyone's just kind of confused," Embry said. "I at least had a little bit of time to get used to the idea, but it's never happened before. Sam and Jared understand more than the rest of us, how you must feel, but it's freaky because it's a leech."

"And a guy," added Quil. "Are you gay?"

"No!" I snapped.

"That might change."

"Yeah, it might," I agreed. "That's the least of my worries right now. Did you tell my Dad, Embry?"

"Yes, I had to. He's staying at the Clearwaters'."

"Do they all know?"

"Yeah." Quil grimaced. "The council members...well, they're not over the moon. I talked to my Gramps last night; they're all having a meeting."

"Without me even being there? How can they do that when they don't even know everything?" I exclaimed.

"You Imprinted on one of the Cullens; what else is there to know?"

"Great," I grumbled. "I'm really looking forward to getting home."

"This was all going to come out eventually, Jake," Embry put in. "You couldn't have kept it a secret forever."

"I know that, I'm just not looking forward to it, that's all."

"Well, they can't keep you away from him," Quil said. "Em said you were half dead after a couple of days not seeing him. No one's gonna put you through that."

"Thanks, guys."

It was an hour before Sam appeared to say it was time to leave. All of us piled into the Hummer and set off for the airport without waiting for the Cullens and much to my frustration, I was ushered through check-in without getting the chance to see Edward again. There was a momentary panic when I thought my passport was in the bag I had left behind in Volturi, until I remembered it had been in my pants pocket and dug it out of Embry's bag which held my things, dog-eared and crumpled, but usable. The Cullens finally caught us up in the departure lounge, although they didn't sit with us. I fidgeted impatiently, my feet itching to take me over there, but a couple of glares from Emmett and Rosalie held me in check and Edward was too busy talking to Jasper to even look at me. I was thankful that at least Jasper didn't appear to be blaming Edward for his grief.

Eventually the flight to Paris boarded and I sat in a window seat with Embry next to me. The short leg was over quickly enough and then there was a ninety-minute wait for the connection. Sam, Jared and Paul headed for a fast-food outlet and I realised they had barely spoken to me since we left the hotel in Florence. I didn't really feel like they were avoiding me, but perhaps just didn't know what to say. However, it was Seth who came to me not long before the flight was due to board and held up his hand for a high five.

"Hey, Jake. How's it going?"

"Ok, I guess."

"So, you got an Imprint now, huh?"

"Yeah. What do you think about that?" I wondered.

"It's pretty weird that it's a leech, but I guess everybody'll get used to it. Least it stopped you moping around over Bella and I guess it'll help him too."

"You don't hate the idea?"

"Nope. Guess your wolf must've picked him for a reason," Seth shrugged. "Why aren't you with him? I thought Imprints wanted to be with their mates all the time. Sam and Jared are going crazy, they've been Skyping Emily and Kim every chance they got."

"Well, he and his family have a lot to deal with right now, what with losing Alice."

"Don't you think he might need you, then?"

I looked around me, my eyes searching the crowded lounge for the Cullens. They were sitting on a group of seats in the waiting area, Carlisle and Esme either side of Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie holding hands. Edward sat on the end staring intently at Seth and me. I shot him a smile and after a second he got to his feet and began to head slowly towards us.

"See," Seth grinned. I expected him to take off, but he waited until Edward reached us and spoke to him. "Hey, man, I'm sorry about your sister," he said at once.

"Thanks, Seth," Edward said, seeming surprised.

"I'll see you later, the guys got grub!" the kid exclaimed suddenly and headed off quickly towards Sam, Jared and Paul.

"He doesn't seem to care too much about us being...friends," Edward commented. I expected he had probably heard our conversation.

"No, he's cool. Do you want to sit with me on the plane?" I suggested.

"There are seat numbers on the boarding passes."

"Yeah, but if there are no spare seats near either of us, we could switch with someone."

"Alright. Yeah, actually I could do with putting some space between Emmett and Rosalie and I for a while."

_"American Airlines flight number 642 for Seattle, Washington, boarding now from gate 16, seating rows 1 through 12," _the tannoy announcement came suddenly.

As luck would have it, Edward's seat number was 5C and mine 11A so we boarded together. It took some time for all of the other rows to board and I discovered that the rest of the pack were sitting in the window seats behind me or in the centre across the aisle. Seat 11B was empty. I stood up and leaned on the back of the seat in front, looking for 5C and immediately spotting Edward's wild copper hair.

_'Edward, turn around,'_ I thought intently and a second later he did so and saw me. He slid out of his seat quickly and came to join me.

"Take the window seat," I said, scooting out to let him pass me.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Paul hissed at me suddenly from across the aisle.

"Paul!" Jared elbowed him in the ribs, just as a woman in front turned around to give him a scathing look and he fell silent.

I settled back in my seat with a smile. Whatever happened when we got back to Forks, at least I had another ten hours or so with my Imprint before I had to worry about it.


	11. Chapter 11

**As always, thank you to everyone who is reading the story and thanks for your great reviews :o)**

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I quickly discovered there was an advantage to having a vampire sit next to you on a plane, when the first in-flight meal was brought around. I expected Edward to refuse the food, but he merely took the plastic tray and waited for me to finish eating before passing it to me so I had double, for which I was sincerely grateful. The portions given wouldn't have filled up a child, let alone a muscular teenager with a wolf's appetite. I was amused when Paul growled at me from across the aisle, hungrily eyeing my second chocolate muffin.

"Hungry, Paul?" I couldn't resist taunting. "Go sit with Jasper or someone." I crammed half the muffin into my mouth and heard Edward snort softly in amusement from the other side of me.

For perhaps the first half of the flight, Edward seemed ok. We didn't have much to talk about, most of the things I wanted to discuss being subjects not suitable for a place where anyone could overhear. We watched one of the in-flight movies and listened to some music on the headphones, but later in the afternoon when we were somewhere over the Atlantic, Edward began to look more and more depressed. He rested his head against the small window beside him and half closed his eyes, his body shivering every so often and I had no clue what to do.

_'What's wrong?'_ I thought, not wanting to draw attention to us from the rest of the pack or the strangers sitting in front. He just shrugged.

_'Are you thirsty?' _He shook his head slightly and I heaved a sigh of relief.

_'Alice?'_ He nodded slowly.

_'Bella?' _Another nod.

_'You can't blame yourself for any of this. Things happen, we just have to try to move on.'_

"I do blame myself," he whispered. "Did you know I tried to break up with Bella once? Before Christmas? I knew I was bad for her, that it couldn't work. I didn't want to change her, but she was so damned determined and she wouldn't accept what I said, about that or breaking up. She just came around day after day, breaking me down, telling me she loved me and that she wouldn't accept we were over and I gave in again. She would have been safe if I stayed strong."

_'You can't know that. Victoria wanted her because of James and Laurent, right? So whether Bella was with you or with Charlie or in Jacksonville with her Mom, Victoria would have gone after her. At least she got to be with you as long as she could. I know you made her happy.'_

"I can't believe you're trying to comfort me when you lost her too," Edward whispered wrily.

_'Yeah, but I lost a friend; you lost your soul mate,'_ I reminded him. '_Everything I felt for her changed when I Imprinted.'_

Ok, so maybe we could talk about these subjects after all, with me thinking and him whispering. His voice was so quiet no one could possibly have heard him and it was only my enhanced hearing that enabled me to pick up what he said.

"What do you feel for me?" he asked.

_'Hell, Edward, I don't know.' _Like this wasn't embarrassing. I could feel my face flushing and I had no idea where to look. What did I feel for him? I didn't even know, except that when we were apart it hurt. '_I guess I'm your friend, your support. The pull of the Imprint makes me want to be near you, but as whatever you want me to be.'_

"Ok." He raised a hand and dragged it through his hair. "Don't you hate that fate or whatever tied you to me?"

_'Not any more.'_

"But we're on opposite sides; we're supposed to hate each other. You used to want me dead," he reminded me.

_'I just see things differently now, that's all. If you don't, you can say so. You don't have to be around me just because I want it.'_

"I'm not going to do that; I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. You're still helping me now." He dragged his hand through his hair again, changing the subject suddenly. "My family blame me. For Alice. I can see it in their eyes, especially Emmett and Rose's. Crazy as it is, Jasper's the only one who doesn't."

_'I don't think they blame you,'_ I responded. '_They're upset she's gone.'_

"She wouldn't be gone if I hadn't done what I did."

_'You can only do what feels like the right thing at the time, Edward. Jasper doesn't blame you and the rest of them will get over it, so you have to stop blaming yourself. You think Alice would want you to?'_

"No."

"Edward, are you alright?"

We both looked up to find Esme bending over us.

"Jasper felt pain from you," she said.

"I'm ok," Edward replied. "Thank you."

"Why don't you come back and sit with us?" she suggested gently.

"I want to stay here, if you don't mind."

"Alright." Esme straightened up. "We'll see you later then." She gave us both a smile and returned to her seat.

"Your Mom's really nice," I said aloud.

"She's not my mother," Edward answered with a small smile.

"I know that."

"Thanks, Jacob."

"What for? Liking your...Esme?"

"No, before that."

I smiled back at him. "Do you feel any better?"

"A little."

"Want to watch another movie?"

"Ok, but the choice is terrible." He began activating the small screen in front of him to choose something to watch and I did the same.

"I suppose everything has to be suitable for little kids, they can't exactly show 'Interview With the Vampire', can they?" I wondered if the joke was too much, but Edward chuckled quietly.

We settled on 'Two Brothers', a movie about a pair of tiger cubs, which wasn't too bad. At least it passed the time until more food appeared and once again I got a second helping. It was only as the plane began its descent towards Sea-Tac that Edward suddenly grew thirsty. He said nothing, but I noticed his black eyes a second before he turned his head away.

_'Will you be ok?' _I thought.

"Yeah. I'm not weak like I was before. As soon as we get away from the city I can hunt."

Thirty minutes later we were on the ground and there was the usual bustle and confusion of everyone grabbing their belongings, forcing their way into the aisles and making their way slowly off the plane. I knew Edward would go to join his family, but I was disappointed that all of them disappeared in the direction of the parking lots so quickly. Carlisle hung back to speak to Sam, but then he left too and I was with the pack again. Leah and Seth's Mom's MPV awaited us and we all piled in, me with some trepidation as I waited for the shit to hit the fan.

Nothing happened except for one or two sneers from Paul and I wondered if Sam had words to them before I joined them. No one mentioned my Imprint or the prospect of me spending time with Edward in the future, or even the fact that I dragged them all into danger by rushing to Italy to save him. Leah drove and the others detailed what Seth dubbed 'the storming of the Volturi', which had actually been nothing of the sort, but more a sneaky entry by Jasper through an open window half way up the tower, who had then opened a door and another window to let the others in. Carlisle knew the Volturi well and the way in which they operated and he also knew the power of the two youngest, Jane and Alec. These two had been sought out first and Alec killed along with several others. Jane had disabled three of the wolves with her ability to cause pain with her mind, but had then rushed to the aid of Felix who was fighting Emmett and somehow in the confused struggle she had disappeared. No one saw her body and it was suspected she had fled. Sam reported that the three leaders, whose names he couldn't recall - Aro, Caius and Marcus, I put in - had abandoned the sinking ship when it became clear the invasion of Cullens and wolves were gaining the upper hand, Rosalie having started several fires as she flitted around the building and at least six or seven of the Volturi guard had become trapped in one of the burning rooms where they perished. I remembered hearing screams as Embry and Jasper virtually carried Edward and me outside and guessed that had been the cause.

The pack's priority had been to get me out, but they had worked with the Cullens to double their strength and because the coven knew what they would be facing. Most of the pack hadn't cared one way or the other whether Edward and Alice made it, although Embry who had been the first to find me, was keen to see Edward survive because of the way it would affect me if he didn't. And there it was; a vague mention of the Imprint.

"So...who's going to talk about the elephant in the car first?" I said, deciding I would rather get it over with than wait and wonder what they were thinking; what they might say.

"You mean the fucking blood-sucker you landed yourself with?" Paul growled.

"Paul..." Jared said warningly.

"Well, is no one gonna say what they really think? What kind of freak Imprints on a vampire? And Edward Cullen, for fuck's sake, you would pick the worst, cowardliest leech in the...!"

_"Paul!_ That's enough!" Sam roared at him.

"You're a jerk, Paul," Seth said. "Wait until you Imprint. I hope you get Jasper, he's all alone now, I'm sure he needs some comfort. I'd laugh my ass off."

"Shut the fuck up, you little shit!" Paul snarled and lunged at Seth suddenly. Jared grabbed the angry wolf and slammed him back into his seat.

"Sit still and be quiet, Paul, before Leah stops the car and makes you walk!" he exclaimed.

"Guys, Jesus, don't fight with each other over this," I sighed. "Look, let me talk for a minute, will you? Do you think I wanted this? I was in love with Bella. Hell, you all know that; what was it? My inner monologue about her was boring the hell out of you? I really thought she was for me. I know she loved Edward, but I was convinced that the next time I looked at her, or the next, or the one after that, it would happen and she'd feel the pull of it and leave him. I know it doesn't work like that, that you can't choose, but I was certain it was going to happen, right in front of him when he left her with me before the last council meeting. It didn't, but she was in my arms hugging me and I looked over her shoulder to gloat about it and Imprinted on him. It horrified me and made me sick with myself. You don't have to call me a freak, I felt like one and I had to hide my thoughts from all of you and from him the whole time because I was ashamed of it and I knew what you would all think. I was cursing my dumb wolf for landing itself with a leech, but as if that wasn't bad enough, it's a guy as well. I mean, what the hell? I'm not gay; the only person I ever thought of in that way is Bella. I don't know what I can be to him except for a friend and if that's the case, that pretty much gives me a life alone because right now I can't see me feeling any different. I tried to deny the whole thing and then after the battle when he disappeared I didn't see him for like four days or something. Embry saw the state of me after that; I was half dead so I know there isn't a chance in hell I can stay away from him. I know this never happened before, but you guys are just gonna have to decide whether I'm too much of a freak for the pack now and if so, then I'll walk away."

"You'd choose Edward Cullen over us?" Leah sneered from the driver's seat.

"Jesus, Leah, will you shut up?" Seth exclaimed.

"He doesn't have a choice," Sam said slowly. "I didn't choose to leave you either, Leah, fate told me who I should be with."

Leah flushed uncomfortably and turned her attention back to the road.

"Jacob, no one wants you to leave the pack," he went on.

"Speak for yourself," Paul muttered quietly.

"Asshole," Embry hissed.

"All of you listen!" Sam exclaimed. It was an Alpha order and at last Paul fell silent. "The pack does not turn its back on any of its members, especially not the one who should have been Alpha. Just because a vampire Imprint never happened before doesn't mean we can't find a way to deal with it. Jared and I both know exactly what Jacob feels right now and it's not something you can ignore or get over - you either accept it or you condemn yourself to a life of agony and an extremely painful death. The only thing capable of breaking the tie is the death of the wolf or the Imprint, although the latter can potentially kill the wolf as well. All of you know this, so all of you will remind yourself of it before you give Jacob shit about it. He didn't choose Edward, fate did. Why that is, I don't have the faintest idea, but it happened and that's that. I don't particularly like it, but I'll get used to it."

"Thanks," I put in quietly. "But what about the council? Don't you think they'll have something to say about this?"

"I'm sure they'll have plenty to say," Sam nodded. "We'll find out what was said at the meeting when we get home. I know that the law of vampires not setting foot on our land will stand, but as for anything else, I don't know. All I can say is that as powerful as the council is, it can make rules, but it can't dictate to an Alpha the way he should deal with his pack or their Imprints, which means that I will have the final word on it."

I relaxed slightly, but I still had one huge worry. "What about my Dad?" I asked. "What if he disowns me or something?"

"Billy wouldn't do something like that, Jacob, he dotes on you," Sam said at once.

"Does Edward know?" Quil asked then.

"Yes," I nodded.

"What does he think about it? I mean, he sat with you on the plane, so I'm guessing he doesn't hate the idea."

"I think he's ok with it. He's glad I was there to help him."

"What about his family?" Seth asked.

"I don't know yet. Most of them are too busy being pissed at Edward at the moment because of Alice dying," I said. "I think Esme is ok, but it hasn't been mentioned. I guess they'll talk about it the way we are doing."

"Do you think Edward will still want to see you?" said Seth.

"He better, otherwise I'm in trouble," I joked. We hadn't spoken about seeing each other - where or when or how - and it hadn't occurred to me until now that he might decide against it when he got home.

"If it's any consolation, Kim's been saying on Skype that she feels the same physical pain of separation as I do, only on a smaller scale," Jared spoke up.

"Yeah, Emily does too," said Sam. "The Imprints feel the connection pretty strongly, it just takes more time to develop, whereas it's instant for the wolf."

I worried less after hearing this. The last thing I wanted to do was spend every night lurking around the Cullens' house trying to catch sight of Edward in order to lessen my pain.

The whole conversation had gone a lot better than I expected. I had known Embry and Quil would support me and Seth too, but something about Sam's attitude when we first escaped from the Volturi had indicated he was less than happy and if he wouldn't accept me, Jared would support him. Paul was a foregone conclusion. I glanced at him now and he shot me a mutinous look which said no way in hell would he be supportive of me being with Edward.

The rest of the journey passed quickly and Leah dropped off each of us as she weaved the MPV through the Reservation - Paul first, then Quil, then me. I got out and let myself into the house, wondering if Dad would still be at the Clearwaters', but he was home and waiting in the lounge for me. I suddenly felt more nervous than I had broaching the subject with the pack, but my worry was unnecessary. He was relieved I was home safe and sad that I hadn't felt able to talk to him while I suffered in agony after the battle. He wasn't comfortable with me having Imprinted on Edward, both because he was a vampire and male, but he had no intention of shunning me because of it. He warned me that most of the council members had been less than happy and although they knew they couldn't realistically demand I stay away from Edward, particularly if Sam was on my side, they did not want to hear the subject discussed and there would be no exception to the rule of vampires not setting foot on the Reservation. So I guessed I was to be the tribe's dirty little secret that no one talked about - the wolf who embarrassed his pack and tribe by becoming tied to one of the enemy. It could have been worse, I told myself. Dad could have thrown me out and no amount of support from Sam would have been able to make up for that.

By then I was exhausted and it was already evening. I had something to eat, showered and went to my room, telling Dad I would get an early night. It was only eight when I got into bed, but I was struggling to stay awake and I was thankful to just let myself sleep so I didn't think any more. To my mind, the worst part was over - everybody knew and Sam and Dad were ok and that was all that mattered.

I slept twelve hours and when I stirred, the first thing I thought about was Edward. I opened my eyes slowly, hoping that yesterday might not have happened and I might find myself in the hotel in Florence with him next to me, but of course I was home in my own bed - alone. I rolled over and pressed my face into the pillow with a groan. I left my phone in Volterra; even if I hadn't I didn't have his number. Carlisle was listed in the phone book, but I could hardly call him until I knew what my reception was likely to be. I tried to plan things to do until I could somehow see Edward and decided my first job would be to go into Forks and get a new phone, but that was as far as I got before all of what had happened in the last few days came flooding back. Bursting into the Volturi's fort to drag Edward out of the sun; trying to comfort him over the loss of Bella; holding him when I thought he was dying; reading him 'Romeo and Juliet' and feeding him when he woke; talking to him on the plane.

_"Fuck!" _I hissed. I needed him _right now _and I couldn't even talk to him. I couldn't call and I couldn't turn up at his house - Emmett and Rosalie would probably kick my butt if nothing else and I didn't want to embarrass him in front of the rest of them anyway until I worked out with him how, or even if, we could see each other. All I could do really was wait until dark and creep over there like before, try to get his attention and talk to him about it. Another twelve hours. I threw my pillow off the bed and pulled myself up. It was hardly going to kill me after everything else I'd been through.

Each of those twelve hours seemed like a whole day. I ate breakfast, showered again and went into Forks where I bought a new phone, then returned home for a while and spent some time with Dad. I fidgeted constantly and was relieved when Sam and Jared appeared to talk to Dad and me. They had already had discussions with Sue Clearwater and Quil's Gramps and reported exactly what Dad had already told me, but Sam re-affirmed that the pack would not turn their backs on me.

It was eight-thirty when I eventually got ready to go out. My chest and stomach hurt and in addition I was filled with the butterflies of nervous excitement. Things were a lot different than the last time I had gone over to Edward's house and lurked amongst the trees. I told Dad where I was going and he begged me to be careful and not upset any of the Cullens by trespassing and then I slipped out of the house, phased and streaked off into the darkness.

As before, I prowled around the perimeter and began looking in the lit windows. Edward wasn't in any of them, including the music room, and eventually I halted in view of his bedroom window, which was in darkness. Was he in there? The window was slightly open, but I couldn't sense or hear anything. Then suddenly a light came on and I saw him in the doorway. He closed the door and paced around the room, dragging his hands through his hair the way he did when he was stressed or nervous. Could he hear me from this distance, I wondered?

_'Edward!'_

My heart hammered as I waited for some sign he heard my thought, but he continued pacing without pause. After another minute or so he stopped and came to the window, leaning out and peering into the darkness.

_'Edward! It's me, Jacob!'_

I lifted one paw and brought it down heavily on a small fallen branch, making the wood snap. The sound was much louder than I expected and I watched in surprise as Edward stepped out of the window onto the sill and then flew towards me, a darker shadow in the darkness of the forest. He landed maybe twenty feet away and walked more slowly towards me.

"Jacob, what are you doing here?"

_'Looking for you.'_

"What if one of the others saw you?" he frowned.

_'I can't help that, this damned Imprint thing is killing me,'_ I growled before I could stop myself.

"Sorry." He halted in front of me, his head on a level with mine. "You told me in that hotel what it was like. I suppose we should have arranged to meet up or something after we got back."

_'You don't want to avoid me, then?'_

"No, of course not." He slid his hands into his pockets and leaned back against a tree trunk. "I think if we hadn't been born enemies and if we hadn't both fallen for Bella, we might even have been friends before now. You're a nice guy and after everything that happened, I don't want to...I don't know, go back to the way things were. I know you can't do that anyway and weird as this seems right now, you make me feel better. I can feel that connection; like something pulling me to you."

_'Well, that's cool,' _I thought. '_Did your family talk about it?'_

"Not much, Esme did a little, but I think the others are avoiding it. Anyway, everyone's pretty concerned with Jasper right now, he's not doing so good."

_'I'm sorry.'_

"Emmett and Carlisle and me are actually going to be taking him out hunting again soon, so I can't stay out here long."

_'Ok.' _I was filled with disappointment.

"What about your family?" he asked then. "And the pack?"

_'My Dad understands and I guess most of the pack do in a way. They just don't understand why my wolf would pick you. The council aren't pleased, but they can't overrule Sam, you just can't come on our land.'_

"I don't want to," Edward said at once.

I sighed heavily, even more downhearted, until he continued.

"I'd be watching my back the whole time, thinking someone like Paul might me lying in wait for me." He grinned briefly. "Look, I'm going to have to go back in and take care of Jasper. Why don't you come back tomorrow night around the same time and we can talk properly?"

_'Sure!' _I grimaced at the enthusiastic thought which had burst from me. Edward nodded and turned to go. '_Wait,' _I said hopefully. '_Can you give me your phone number? Just in case?'_

"How's your memory?" he asked.

_'It's decent.'_

He reeled off a cellphone number and then before I could say anything more, he was gone. I turned to leave, bounding through the trees and repeating the number over and over in my head until I reached the house, phased quickly outside my window and slid inside. I grabbed my new phone from the computer desk and brought up the 'contacts' section, typed in 'Edward' and then added the number. My heart was racing and I had to wipe my sweaty palms on the bed covers twice before I made up my mind to send him a text to check the number was right and so that he would have mine. I typed simply, 'This is my number. Jacob,' and clicked the 'send' button immediately. Foolishly I waited for a response for ten minutes, but none came and I pulled on some pants and went to speak to Dad, letting him know I was home. He was planning to get an early night and I decided to do the same. I sprawled on my bed, still picking up the phone every so often and checking for messages, but then I remembered he was going hunting with Jasper and probably hadn't even seen my text yet. I put the phone down again and closed my eyes. Just as I was drifting into sleep, my phone vibrated beside me and I picked it up in surprise, opening the message.

'Thanks. E.'

I smiled to myself and relaxed. Somehow things were going to be ok.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

The next day I tried to get back into some sort of routine. When school kicked out for the summer and before I had Imprinted, I had been working in the garage almost every day. It started as a hobby with me fixing up Dad's old truck for Bella and then the Rabbit for myself, but then one or two of Dad's friends brought their cars to me for some small jobs, more to do me a favour than anything else. They were happy with the work and talked about me and it had become a part time occupation for me; something I loved which brought money in. Dad got money from the government because of his illness and he had always given me an allowance, but it wasn't much and I knew he struggled to find the money for me each week. Being independent made me happy and I could even buy things for him sometimes.

I tinkered about for a while with the Rabbit, fitting a new fender I had gotten a while back to replace the dented one on the front of the old car and maybe an hour later a truck pulled up in front of the garage. It was Jared's Dad, having seen the garage doors open. He had been on his way into Forks to get the truck serviced and seeing me open again, decided to let me do the job instead. I had basic servicing parts in already - filters and oil and so on. Most people on the Reservation had similar truck models and it was easy to know what would be needed. Mr Cameron asked me to give him a call when it was done and set off home on foot.

I took my time with the truck, making sure the job was done perfectly and then called him to come pick it up. He paid me a hundred bucks - a little over half of what he would pay in Forks, but it still left me with a profit of fifty. I idly wondered if I could turn this into a full time business one day. I was still only sixteen and Dad expected me to stay in school for another two years, but I would much rather start working right away. What use would American History and Geography and English be to me if I were to be a mechanic?

"Hey, Jake!"

I looked up as Seth appeared, hurtling towards me over the rough ground on the old BMX bike he had dragged out of a dumpster about a year ago. I had fixed it up for him, even painting it and he used it at every opportunity, making himself ramps and doing crazy jumps and stunts that had almost given his parents heart attacks. I was sure that after Harry's death, Sue was more worried about Seth fooling around on his bike than she was when he was going into battle with the pack.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Wanna hang out?"

"Sure."

He dumped the bike on the ground and came over to me. "Have you seen any of the others since we got back?"

"Just Sam and Jared."

"Not Edward?" asked Seth with a grin.

"Well, yeah, I saw him last night."

"Date?" The kid waggled his eyebrows and winked.

"Shit, Seth, no, I just talked to him, that's all. It's not like that."

"Will it be? I mean, I read about Imprinting and stuff when I first phased, a lot more than just what Sam said. Doesn't it automatically go through stages or something? Starting with friends and then you start eyeballing them and stuff and then..."

"Seth," I groaned.

"...'cause I'm not sure I can imagine you with a guy. Forget that he's a leech, I mean, do you think he's attractive at all?"

"Seth!"

"What, I'm just asking. I'm not bothered, just nosey, I guess. You must wonder about it."

"Yeah, and frequently hope to God it stays where it is with just friends." I dragged a hand through my hair and realised it was exactly what Edward did when he was upset or anxious.

"The others'll get used to it," Seth went on. "Except maybe Paul, but he's always been a dick. Leah's ok, she's just grouchy over Sam still, you'd think she'd get over it. I wish she'd just get her own Imprint already."

He chattered on and I found myself loosening up and even laughing at things. Seth could always be relied upon to make even the most dire situation seem funny, but he couldn't resist continuing to tease me by asking when my next 'date' was and pointing out he hoped Edward realised we'd have to 'hook up' every day or I'd get sick pining for him. By the time he left, I realised that the trip to Volterra and Edward had been pretty much all we talked about and I was relieved that the kid who had always looked up to me still did and had no problem with Edward at all. If only the rest of them were so easy.

By the time eight o'clock came around I was jittery and nervous. I showered and changed and then laughed at myself for putting on my best jeans when I was going to take them off again and phase before I left. I guess I could have gone in human form, but it would have taken much longer if I didn't drive, which would only draw attention to me. I paced around my room until eight-fifty, then undressed and slipped out of the window in the darkness. Seconds later my large russet wolf was racing off in the direction of the Cullens', my heart pounding against my ribs in anticipation.

He was already there when I arrived, standing in the same place where we had talked the previous night. I slowed to a trot as soon as I caught his scent and advanced slowly, wondering at the fact that he smelled different to me. Vampires smelled sickly-sweet to wolves, whether they were phased or not, making it quite an effort to actually sink the teeth into one in battle. I had always had to steel myself not to vomit, but I realised that I wasn't picking that up from him; he smelled kind of sweet, but more in a sort of natural, fresh way, like he just showered. When had that changed? I didn't even notice, but I didn't remember feeling repulsed by him in Volterra. I wondered if I still smelled like wet dog to him and I shook myself suddenly in embarrassment, realising he was probably reading my mind and trying not to laugh his ass off.

_'Hey,' _I thought awkwardly, halting a few feet from him.

"Hey. You don't, by the way."

_'What?'_

"Smell like wet dog," he said with a grin.

_'Shit.'_

"It's alright. I should keep out of your head."

_'Yeah, you should, eavesdroppers never hear any good about themselves.'_

"...sweet, in a sort of fresh natural way, like I just showered?" he taunted. "That's not really bad."

_'Fuck you,' _I growled_, _racking my brains for a way to change the subject. '_How's Jasper?'_

"He's..." Edward sighed heavily. "He's pretty out of control. He's behaving almost like a newborn."

_'How do you mean?'_

"Just desperate, violent, wanting to kill something; more than just to feed, I mean." He sighed again. "I haven't had chance to hunt yet myself..."

I looked at his face and even in the darkness with my sharp eyes I could pick up that his were shiny black orbs, mirroring his thirst.

_'Why don't we hunt, then?'_

"Together?"

_'Why not? How do you think we survive in wolf form for extended periods? When I first phased, it was a shock. I knew I was going to, but I didn't want it and I fought against it for maybe a month. When it eventually happened I was stuck like this for two weeks. Sam took me into the mountains and we lived as wolves until I got it together, eating whatever we found - goats and rabbits mostly.'_

"No kidding!" Edward said in surprise.

I grinned, hoping I didn't look as if I intended to bite him. I had discovered something we could do together which might actually be fun and it made me happy.

We set off north towards the mountains, me bounding up the lower slopes and Edward running alongside me, so fast he seemed to glide. We matched each other's pace easily and travelled perhaps a hundred miles, veering off more to the east in silent mutual agreement to avoid the area in which Bella had died. The trees thinned on the higher ground and I was the first to catch something - an unsuspecting mountain goat which I pounced on from maybe twenty feet above. I snapped its neck easily in my jaws and glanced back up at Edward who was standing on the overhang. My eyes widened as I spotted a mountain lion maybe fifty feet away, which had apparently been after the goat, but was now stalking the vampire and I lay motionless, my teeth still locked on the goat's neck as I watched. Edward turned his head slowly and eyed the cat, then what happened next was so fast I could barely register it. He launched himself into the air and in a second he was descending onto the animal from above, crushing it with his hands before his teeth sank into its neck to feed.

_'Fuck!' _I almost forgot the goat for a few seconds as I gazed at him in admiration. He was kneeling on the ground now, holding the cat's body up as he drained its blood. I pulled myself together and ripped into my own prey. Despite having eaten a decent meal with Dad earlier, I could easily consume a good portion, especially in wolf form. Unfortunately I wasn't such a neat and efficient killer as Edward and when I finished, my muzzle and front paws were coated in blood and I wandered towards a nearby stream to clean myself up.

We headed back towards Forks more slowly and talked on the way. Much to my surprise he told me he had talked to Carlisle and Esme about me. Esme had been accepting almost from the beginning although Carlisle not so much, but they were both grateful I had gone to Volterra to save Edward and cared for him afterwards. They didn't really understand Imprinting, but if something was helping him get over Bella, it couldn't be that bad, even if we were supposed to be on opposing sides. Ordinarily they would have invited me over to talk to me themselves, but with Jasper in such an unpredictable state they didn't want anyone at the house other than family.

_'What about the others?' _I asked. '_Emmett seemed really pissed.'_

"He's ok, he still blames me a little. He thinks you wanting to be with me is pretty weird. Rosalie hates it, but she hates everything, even Emmett sometimes. Jasper's not really making a lot of sense right now. Everyone's worried about him."

_'Is there anything I can do to help?' _I offered, although I doubted that there was.

"You are helping."

_'I'm not doing anything.'_

"You're here though, aren't you?" he said with a small smile. "That helps."

_'Does it?'_

"Yeah. So, thanks."

By the time I left him it was almost dawn and as I crept in through my bedroom window, exhausted, my door opened to reveal Dad in his wheelchair, still wearing his pyjamas.

"You've been out all night," he said with a slight frown.

"Sorry. I guess I lost track of time."

"What were you doing?"

"Hunting in the mountains."

He raised an eyebrow. "Just be careful, Jacob, I worry about you."

"I know, I'm sorry," I said again.

He didn't say anything more and I knew he understood, even if he wasn't particularly happy about it.

The next few days followed the same pattern. I would go out and meet Edward at nine always in wolf form and we either hunted or if he didn't need to, we wandered about or sat and talked. I began to learn things about him and I found myself fascinated by his stories of growing up in early Twentieth Century Chicago as Edward Anthony Masen. His father had been a lawyer and paid for him to have music lessons. Much as he loved his music he had wanted to join the army as soon as he was old enough, but had contracted Spanish influenza at seventeen and almost died. His parents had already succumbed to the outbreak and Edward was changed by Carlisle in order to save him. The older vampire had shown him how to live off the blood of animals, but a few years later he had rebelled against the lifestyle, the small vampire family then having included Esme as well.

_'Rebelled how?' _I wondered when he stopped talking.

"I should probably skip that part. I shouldn't have mentioned it."

_'No, go on,' _I encouraged.

"You'll hate it."

_'You're my Imprint, I'm programmed to not hate anything you do.'_

"What if it's something you'd be expected to kill me for?"

_'I can't kill my own Imprint, it'd be suicide as well,' _I said, feeling a slight prickle of worry. What the hell was he going to tell me?

"I turned into the type of vampire you see in the movies; the type that kills people." He raised a hand and pulled his fingers through his wild hair. "I was selective; I read their minds and I only picked those who were murderers or rapists or something bad. I know that doesn't make it right. I guess I played God for a while. I convinced myself I was doing some good, ridding the city of evil." He grimaced now. "It lasted about two years and then I got myself together and went back to Carlisle and Esme. That was in 1931; I've been a vegetarian ever since."

I remembered the day when I had discovered what the Cullens were. I had thought then they were killers, responsible for the deaths in the area at the time, but Sam and the council had told me they didn't touch humans; that they existed on animal blood and weren't a danger to the population. I had thought it was bullshit and that all vampires were the same, but in the end I believed them. I felt myself conflicted for a moment and my steps slowed.

"Jacob?" He halted and turned to look at me. "Shit," he muttered. "I think I should go."

_'Don't. It's ok. It was nearly eighty years ago, right? I think that makes it null and void,' _I thought quickly, cursing myself for hesitating before I said anything.

"I'm not so sure Sam would agree with you," Edward said doubtfully.

_'He's not here, is he?' _I nudged his shoulder with my muzzle. '_Forget it. So what happened after that?'_

We continued walking and he told me about the additions of Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper to the family and the fact that the five of them had all been going to school in different towns, year after year, moving each time they graduated.

_'I guess that's how you came to study 'Romeo and Juliet' forty-six times,' _I said, amused. '_The hell with that. I hate school.'_

"It's useful if you want a career."

_'I know what I want to do; I'm already doing it part time.' _I told him about the garage; the fact that I'd been building things and fixing them since I was a kid and longed to be running my own business properly.'_I just have to somehow convince my Dad not to make me go back for another two years,' _I added.

"Well, you obviously know what you want; I hope it works out," he said. "I can't really do that. I'm always going to look seventeen. I think I'm stuck with school."

_'You could run an online business or something like that, then no one would see you,' _I pointed out. '_Or do something with music. You're really good on the piano.'_

"How do you know that?" Edward asked curiously. "Did Bella tell you?"

_'Yeah, she did, but I heard you one night,' _I blurted. I closed my mind quickly, cringeing. For God's sake, was I going to tell him every damn thing about myself?

"When was this?"

_'Uh...a while back.'_

"When, Jacob?"

_'You'll think I'm a jerk.'_

"No, I won't. It can't be any worse than me telling you I used to kill people."

_'No, I guess not. It wasn't long after I Imprinted. I kissed Bella and it wasn't for the reason I said. I was trying to convince myself I still had feelings for her, but there was nothing there, it was like kissing my sister. You wouldn't let her spend time with me any more, which meant I had no reason to see you either. Then the damned Imprint kicked in big time; I told myself it would go away, until I was in agony and couldn't breathe and then I...um...ran-over-to-your-house-one-night-and-listened-to-you-playing-piano.' _The words ran into each other with the speed they left my head and Edward raised his eyebrows.

"You did what?"

_'You're loving this, aren't you?' _I grumbled.

"I'm not trying to embarrass you, I just didn't catch what you thought."

_'I ran over to your house to see if I could see you. You were in the music room playing the piano so I sat out there and listened. You were close enough that it got me over my need for an...Imprint fix.'_

"How long were you there?"

_'I don't know, nearly two hours I think.' _I pictured myself sprawled out on my belly with my nose resting on my paws, in view of the music room windows, one ear straining forwards as I listened.

Much to my annoyance, Edward giggled. Not chuckled or snorted like you would expect if he simply had to laugh, but fucking giggled. I glowered until I realised he was laughing out of sudden self-consciousness.

_'You're embarrassed about being awesome on the piano?'_

"I'm not that good."

_'Yeah, you are. How long have you playing? A hundred years or something?'_

"Longer. Since I was five years old."

_'Well, then. You're probably better than anyone. Don't you ever play for anyone else other than your family?'_

"No, not if I can help it."

_'I guess I'm lucky then.'_

We parted shortly after that and the next day, finally I decided to make the effort to go in human form to meet him. If he needed to hunt, I could always phase and leave my clothes in the forest for when we came back. I took my phone, wallet and keys with me and drove the Rabbit off the Reservation, eventually parking on the shoulder of the cliff road a couple miles from the Cullens' house. From there I jogged to the place I usually met Edward, arriving a minute or two after nine. He wasn't there and I leaned against a tree and waited. A few minutes passed and there was no sign of him. There were lights on in the house, but less than usual and I couldn't see any of the Cullens in there. I pulled my phone out to check for messages and when there were none, I waited another ten minutes and then sent Edward a text.

'Where are you?'

There was no reply and I paced around, kicking at the damp earth impatiently. At nine-forty I tried calling him and his phone went straight to the answer service as if it were switched off.

"Fuck!" I grumbled.

The one time I turned up as myself and he didn't show. Maybe he saw me and decided he preferred the wolf. Unlikely. Slowly I made my way around to the other side of the house and looked in the one lit window, seeing no one in there either. In addition to that, I couldn't feel him. Usually my heart rate settled down the minute I got within a hundred yards of him, but it didn't tonight.

"Where are you?" I muttered.

Stupid as it probably was, I tried calling the house phone. I could even hear it ringing from where I stood, but no one answered it and I hung up. I waited until ten-fifteen before calling his cell one final time. Again it went straight to the answer service and I shoved my phone back into my pocket and began to jog back to the car. Something must have happened. Somehow I didn't think he would just fail to turn up without letting me know. It was like some unspoken agreement we had; he knew I hurt if I couldn't see him and he felt the pull towards me too.

I drove home and went to bed, telling Dad only that my plans had changed. I tossed and turned, checking my phone every so often in case somehow I had missed a call or a message, but there was nothing.

By the time I rose the next morning, I felt like hell. My chest hurt, my heart pounded and I was sweating like a pig. I just hadn't thought this would happen again and yet here I was, getting sick over him and he probably hadn't even given me a second thought. What the hell was I thinking, trusting a vampire anyway? I stormed down to the garage and spent the morning working, then went down to the beach for a swim. I didn't want to be in the house with Dad questioning me about what was wrong. It wasn't like I could easily hide it and so far I wasn't so weak that I couldn't do anything.

Dad called after a while and told me Charlie had come to get him to watch a ball game and I heaved a sigh of relief. I could go home and he wouldn't be there to see the state I was in. It was pure luck that I hadn't run into any of the pack on the beach as it was an unusually warm day and I ran home, taking a detour to get to my house to avoid passing the Clearwaters' and the Lahotes' just in case. When I reached the house I took a shower, pulled on some cut-offs and then threw myself onto my bed. I felt as bad now as I had after four days without him when he had gone to Italy. It was like an addiction with him as the drug and it grew stronger every day. It was only just over thirty-six hours since I had seen him and I felt like I was dying. I tried calling him again, but his phone still appeared to be off and I tossed mine back onto the bed with a groan. I was tempted to call Embry or maybe even Sam, but there wasn't really anything they could do. Sam would know how I felt, but he couldn't actually help me.

The evening crawled by and I was relieved when Dad called again to say he and Charlie were having some beers and he would be home in the morning. At least I could moan and groan as loud as I liked and not worry about Dad hearing me. I crawled back onto my bed and stretched out, struggling to breathe. I sucked in a huge lungful of air and began to let it out slowly, trying to make myself relax. As my chest sank on the long exhale, my limbs did relax and my heart began to slow its desperate gallop inside my rib cage. I could feel him!

I bolted upright and pulled the curtain aside, peering out of the open window into the darkness. The moon was only a thin sliver and didn't afford much light, but I could still make out Edward pacing up and down a few yards from my window, tugging at his hair with both hands as if he meant to pull it out by the roots.

"Edward!" I hissed.

Our house was a reasonable distance from any others, thank God. In less than a second he was right outside the window, his face anguished and eyes black. He placed both hands on the sill and gripped it until the wood began to crack, then snatched them off again quickly.

"Jacob!" he gasped.

"Come in here," I said, backing up out of the way.

"What about your Dad?"

"He's in Forks for the night."

He sprang in through the window and landed on my bed, quickly pulling his shoes off and dropping them on the floor.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be here."

"Well, I'm glad you are, I was getting as sick as a...dog."

"I'm sorry," he groaned again, scrubbing his hands over his face.

"Where were you last night? Where's your phone?"

"It's in my pocket." He pulled his phone out and glanced at it quickly. "Battery's dead."

"So what's wrong?" I asked then.

"It's Jasper. He disappeared when I was with you the other night. When I got back to the house he was gone. We've all been looking for him ever since. I'm sorry I didn't call, I just...I guess I didn't know how much time had gone by, until I started feeling it - you, I mean." He wrapped his arms around his drawn up legs and pressed his face against his knees. "I don't know what to do. I need you."

I could feel his anguish as if it were my own and his words only added to it, tugging me towards him. I reached out and slid an arm around him, half expecting him to suddenly shoot across the room away from me, but he leaned into my hug and rested his head on my shoulder, folding one arm around my neck. I held him tighter, feeling his coldness seeping through his shirt to chill my hot skin.

"I'm here," I murmured. "I'll do anything for you; you know that, right?"

"Yes." He sighed heavily and slowly pulled back.

"How bad is this?" I asked.

"About as bad as it could be. Carlisle thinks Jasper may turn rogue again."

"What?"

"It's likely that he might return to human blood."

"Fuck!"

"Jacob, you can't tell the pack, if they know about this and find him, they'll kill him."

"Jeez, Edward," I groaned. If Jasper did kill someone and I did nothing, the pack and the tribe would see me as a traitor and I'd be cast out at the very least. They would automatically assume I would have known what was going on because of Edward being my Imprint.

"Please, Jacob!" Edward begged. "You have to promise me..."

"Alright," I said quickly. "I promise. But we have to find him before he does any damage. If he kills someone and they catch him, I can protect you, but I can't save him."

"Thank you," Edward whispered.

"Don't thank me yet. Let's go."

I waited for him to jump out of the window again, then I slipped out of the cut-offs and phased as I sprang from the sill. In a second we were racing through the darkness towards the forest to find the rest of the Cullens and begin our search for Jasper.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you as always, for all the great reviews or for simply reading and enjoying :o)**

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

We reached the Cullens' house in minutes and the rest of them came outside immediately. Edward had told me on the way that they were expecting me, knowing that I would have the advantage of being able to smell Jasper where they couldn't. Without Alice's foresight and with Jasper too far away for Edward to hear his thoughts, they were hunting blind. Even so I was wary as I approached the house and I slowed my steps, padding anxiously after Edward until he halted a few feet away from Carlisle and Esme. Emmett and Rosalie were standing a little further back, Rosalie wrinkling her nose and glaring at me, making her disgust quite evident.

"Hello, Jacob," Carlisle said.

I nodded.

"Thank you for coming," Esme added.

"I can't believe you're trusting a mutt with this," Rosalie sneered. "You do know that the minute he goes home he'll tell the pack. You might wish you listened to me when Jasper's torn to pieces by wolves."

"Be quiet, Rose," Emmett hissed.

_'Edward, tell them they can trust me. I would never betray you, even to my own pack,' _I thought.

"Jacob says you can trust him," Edward repeated aloud. "He won't betray his Imprint, even for the sake of his pack."

"Thank you, Jacob," Esme nodded.

"You're just going to accept what the dog says?" Rosalie demanded. "You're all crazy!"

"That's enough, Rosalie," Carlisle said quietly. "Jacob is our best hope of finding Jasper right now." He turned to look at me again. "Jacob, can you distinguish between the scent of one vampire and another?"

_'I'm not sure, I never tried,'_ I admitted.

Edward spoke for me again and Carlisle bit his lip for a moment before speaking. "Well, let's try. If this works, then we'll fetch some clothing Jasper has worn recently and perhaps you can track him that way."

I nodded and stepped a little closer to Carlisle, breathing in deeply. Sickly-sweet vampire with a hint of musky earthiness. I turned towards Esme and got the same scent, almost, but there was a subtle difference - a floweriness. Emmett smelled slightly different again and when I got to Rosalie, I just couldn't help annoying her. I thrust my muzzle into her neck, feeling her cold flesh a second before she leaped away from me in horror.

"Ugh! Get away from me, you revolting beast!"

Edward snickered and reported that I could indeed tell the difference between them. Emmett disappeared into the house and returned in seconds with a piece of Jasper's clothing. I inhaled the smell of it and committed it to memory.

_'Jeez, I feel like Lassie,' _I thought wrily. '_Don't you dare tell them that, Edward!'_

Edward smirked. "He says that..."

I growled.

"...he shouldn't find it too difficult to pick up Jasper's trail so long as it doesn't rain and wash it away," Edward finished.

I moved away from them, feeling somewhat self-conscious as I sniffed the ground, searching for Jasper's smell amongst the tangle of scents left by all of them. The only one that was obvious to me was Edward's, because he didn't smell unpleasant to me like the others. However, eventually I found it - a slight whiff of Jasper leading away from the house into the trees.

_'I'm just not sure if it's his most recent scent or not,'_ I thought.

"It has to be," Edward said. "It rained not long before I saw you last; it would have washed any other trails away."

_'Right.'_ I set off slowly, taking care not to lose the scent until I became more used to it and then I sped up, my paws pounding the earth as I raced south, the Cullens all following me at a little distance. As we left the cover of the trees, I avoided built up areas and roads, keeping to the natural shadows of the land and thanking God that the small sliver of moon afforded barely any light. As we continued, the sky began to cloud over and darkness covered us completely.

Perhaps a couple hours later we crossed the Washington-Oregon border and Jasper's scent continued to lead south and a little east now. We made it perhaps another hundred miles before the heavy clouds above ended the excursion. Thunder rumbled, lightning split the sky and the heavens opened. In moments we were all drenched and there was no scent left to follow. I stopped, feeling defeated and Edward's hand came to rest on my neck suddenly.

"It's ok, Jacob, I think from the direction he's taking, we know where he's going. What do you think, Carlisle?"

Carlisle nodded. "Jasper is from Texas. If he continues in a straight line, which is more or less what he has been doing, he'll end up in Houston, his home town."

"He's probably there already, he's been gone approaching forty-eight hours," Emmett said. "Are we just going to run after him, or what?"

"Of course not, we'll fly," said Carlisle.

_'Fly?'_ I echoed.

"Carlisle has a Lear jet," Edward told me.

_'Oh, he bought it then. Alice told me on the way to Italy that he was getting one.'_

"Yes, it's just outside Port Angeles; there's a private air strip there."

We began to head back, racing through the rain until at last we reached the Cullens' house again. Emmett and Rosalie went indoors immediately to change into dry clothes and Esme followed a moment later after thanking me again for helping them. Carlisle stood on the porch looking down at me.

"I echo Esme's words," he said. "We're very grateful to you, Jacob, both for tracking Jasper and for your discretion. Edward has your number and we'll call as soon as we find him."

I felt a prickle of alarm run through me and Edward immediately stiffened, tugging a hand through his wet hair.

"Carlisle, Jacob has to come with us," he said.

"I'm sorry, it's not possible. This is family business now."

"I can't be away from him, I thought you knew that."

"We'll probably only be a few days."

"It's too long!" Edward exclaimed. "One day is too long!"

"Edward, don't be so dramatic," Carlisle said with a sigh. "It won't kill you."

"That's just it, it probably will. I explained Imprinting to you. If Jacob's away from me too long he's in agony and it's starting to affect me in a similar way. Not so much, but..."

"No!" Carlisle interrupted firmly.

"Then I'm not going!" Edward snapped.

"Yes, you are."

"Don't try exerting your will over me, Carlisle, I'm not weak and helpless and I won't bend to it," Edward said. "Jacob betrayed his pack and tribe for us. No way in hell am I going to Houston without him. Your choice."

"Damn you, Edward; you'd put a wolf before your own brother?"

"I have to."

"Fine." Carlisle glowered, but ceased to argue. "You better do what you need to do, Jacob. We leave here in an hour." He turned on his heel and disappeared into the house.

"Shit," muttered Edward.

_'You'd really stay here if he refused to take me?' _I thought.

"After the last couple of days, absolutely. You better go home and get some things together. I need to change and pack some extra clothes."

_'Should I drive over?'_ I wondered, realising that I couldn't travel in their car or plane in wolf form and would need clothes for the trip.

"Yes, you can leave your car here."

_'I won't be long.' _

I turned and headed for home, hurtling through the rain at full speed until I reached the house. I phased outside my window, dived into the shower and then dressed quickly in jeans and a t-shirt. Grabbing a bag, I crammed in fresh socks and underwear, a couple extra shirts and another pair of pants, toiletries and my passport. I didn't think I needed it for domestic flights, but thought it wouldn't hurt to take it, just in case. I considered writing a note for Dad, but then decided it would be better to call him when I thought he would be home. It would give me extra time to think of a story to explain my disappearance. I locked the house, jumped into the Rabbit and drove back to the Cullens, arriving just as Emmett and Edward emerged and began packing bags into the trunk of Carlisle's Mercedes.

"The mutt's not travelling with us, is he?" Rosalie grimaced as she stepped outside and opened an umbrella.

"Damnit Rosalie," Edward growled. "What do you think we're going to do on the plane? The car doesn't seat six anyway, I'll take the Volvo. Come on, Jacob."

I followed him to his own car and we left before the others, setting off in the direction of Port Angeles as dawn began to lighten the sky, the rain retreating with the darkness.

"I'm sorry about Carlisle," he said, the minute we turned out of the driveway.

"Don't be, my pack would be a lot worse if I invited you along to something."

"I just thought he understood the Imprint thing better."

"So long as you do, it doesn't matter." I yawned and leaned back in the seat.

"You should get some sleep," Edward said. "It's about ninety minutes to the air strip."

"Yeah, thanks. I don't seem to be sleeping much lately." I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, we were parked beside the Mercedes and I could see Carlisle in the distance, talking to someone while a shiny new jet rolled slowly out of a hangar behind them. I straightened up quickly and stretched and my stomach rumbled with hunger. Edward glanced at me and smiled.

"Did you bring any food?"

"No. Damnit."

"Esme probably did, she's like that." He got out of the car and pulled open the passenger door of the Mercedes. Esme passed him a bag a moment later and he returned and dropped it into my lap. "You're in luck."

"Thanks." I found the bag contained chicken sandwiches, chips, apples, chocolate bars and bottles of coke. "Awesome." I stuffed myself until Carlisle began to walk back towards the cars and then all of us got out. A set of metal steps was now being rolled up to the open door of the Lear and it was clearly almost time to leave.

The jet resembled a luxury lounge inside. There was a large comfortable area with plush leather seats, a television and DVD player and games console, a minibar and refrigerator and a separate bathroom.

"Why do you have a minibar when none of you drink?" I wondered as I sat down with Edward to the side of the television.

"In case of guests," he grinned.

Emmett threw himself into one of the chairs directly in front of the screen and began flicking remote control switches. The introduction to a fighting game appeared and Rosalie grimaced as she took a seat as far from me as possible.

"One day, Emmett, you might grow up," she said. "I wanted to watch a movie."

"We're not having your chick-flick crap on now," Emmett responded. "You're out-numbered. Gonna play, Edward?"

Edward shook his head.

"Jacob?"

"You're not serious." Rosalie cast a look of disdain in my direction and crossed her legs.

"You'd do better if you tried getting along with him," Emmett said, without looking at her. "Jake?"

"Yeah, ok." I got up and went to sit beside Emmett instead, surprised by the invitation.

"Can't kick your butt in real life 'cause of Edward, but I can do it now," the big vampire grinned.

"That a challenge?"

I picked up the spare controller and selected a character from the menu. He was dark-skinned and equipped with martial arts skills. Emmett's was a boxer wearing shorts with the American flag on them. It took me a couple of games to get the hang of it, while Emmett punched me repeatedly in the head and then kicked me when I fell down, but I soon learned how to make my character move and we played for maybe a couple hours, alternately winning and losing a fight until Emmett finally declared himself the overall winner with a score of 8:7. By this time we were only an hour away from Houston and I was somewhat relieved that I could at least get along with part of Edward's family.

I returned to my seat beside Edward and Rosalie got up, pulling out a bottle of scent to spray the seat I had vacated before she sat in it. Emmett glared at her and she snatched the control out of his hand, quickly switching the television to a news programme.

"While you two children have been playing games, we could have been doing something more important, like seeing if there are any reports," she said sharply.

Emmett shrugged and Edward and I leaned forward so we could see the screen. The news reader was describing the devastation wreaked by a hurricane over the Caribbean, showing pictures of obliterated buildings and crying people. The article ended and next was a report on a racing driver who been injured in practise, but was determined to take part in the race in two days' time, even with his left hand in a cast.

_"And finally we go to Houston, Texas, where reports of a mysterious 'angel of death' have been coming in over the past twenty-four hours. So far three confirmed deaths, the victims reportedly having been bitten and drained of blood in an horrific and bizarre fashion reminiscent of the popular Bram Stoker novel, 'Dracula'. What is found to be most puzzling, is that the teenage boy and the two women who have been taken were all terminally ill, having been given less than six months to live. The boy who has not yet been named is said to have been living with Leukaemia since birth, while one of the women, aged forty-eight was suffering from a virulent form of bowel cancer. The second, a twenty-six-year-old, was recently diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour which was expected to take her life within weeks._

_"All three victims were being cared for around the clock in their own homes, but despite almost constant supervision, the so-called mercy killer has not been seen by any of the carers."_

"Fuck!" Emmett exclaimed.

"It has to be Jasper," Carlisle said with a sigh.

"I can't believe he's drawing so much attention to himself!" Rosalie exclaimed.

I bit my lip. We were watching a national news channel, one which would be showing on every television on the Reservation any time a member of the tribe happened to be watching.

"Will they come looking for him?" Edward asked me.

"I'm not sure. The pack is intended to protect the Reservation and Forks, not a city thousands of miles away. It doesn't mean they wouldn't though, or that there aren't other wolves somewhere who would do the same thing."

"Can you find out if they know anything?"

"Yes, I have to call my Dad anyway, to let him know why I'm not home."

"We must find Jasper," Carlisle said. "It's already too late to prevent his fall, but we can bring him back; we have to." He ducked out of the room and went to speak to the pilot, returning moments later to advise that we would be on the ground in thirty minutes. Then we would find somewhere to stay as far from the more densely populated areas as possible and begin searching for Jasper.

By late afternoon, we were installed in a motel on the outskirts of the city. Rather than blocks of rooms close together, it had several buildings housing six rooms each with a little distance between them. Carlisle rented a whole block for three nights to start with and we moved our belongings from the two cabs which had transported us from Henriksen Jet Centre where Carlisle had managed to secure hangar space as long as we needed it. I took a room with an en suite for myself and ate the rest of the food Esme had brought for me, then cleaned my teeth and took a shower before I finally pulled out my phone and called Dad. I had two missed calls from him and immediately felt guilty that I hadn't done it sooner.

"Where are you?" he demanded as soon as he answered.

"I'm sorry, Dad, really, I meant to call earlier, but I couldn't get a signal." I took a deep breath and lied again. "I'm in the mountains, camping."

"Camping?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to hang out with Edward where neither of us have to worry about the other's family having a problem with it."

"You're with Edward," Dad said, sounding exasperated.

"Yes." At least that part was true.

"I suppose I should have guessed. You might have told me before you went, Jacob, I've been worried something might have happened to you."

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"Have you told the pack where you are?" he asked me.

"Not yet, I'll call Embry in a minute."

I finished talking to him and called my friend, telling him the same thing I told Dad.

"Shit, Jake, you're not sharing a sleeping bag up there, are you?" I could hear the grimace in his voice.

"Of course not, he doesn't sleep."

"You don't have to be sleeping."

"We're not doing anything, just hanging out, that's all. Away from everybody who hates us being close."

"I guess that's fair enough. You want me to tell the others?"

"If they ask. I'll be back in a few days."

"Ok. You're actually missing some excitement," Embry went on. "There's been a report on the news about killings in Houston. They're calling them mercy killings, but it sounds like a vamp. People who are terminally ill being bitten and drained of their blood."

"Shit, are you serious?" I exclaimed, hoping I sounded convincing. "What does Sam say? Should I come back?"

"No, there's nothing we can do up here, it's hardly our business," Embry said, much to my relief. "I don't know if there are wolves in Texas, but if there are it's down to them to handle it. We can't protect the whole country, Jake."

"Yeah, I guess so. Well, I gotta go, I don't want to use up all my battery. I'll see you soon." I hung up a moment later and heaved a sigh of relief and immediately the door opened and Edward came in. "You heard?" I asked.

"Yes."

"So what's the plan?"

"As soon as it gets dark, we start looking for him. If we get anywhere near I'll catch his thoughts, but he'll also be able to feel us and he might run; we just don't know. You can try to pick up his scent again, but you'll have to be careful. The city is crowded and if someone sees you, they'll probably pull a gun out."

"Sounds like fun," I grimaced.

"At least it's dry here, so his scent should still be around from anywhere he's been. Esme and Rosalie are watching all the news reports they can find to see if they can pinpoint any of the locations of the people who died. If we can find where he's been, you might be able to pick up his trail and follow it until you catch up to him."

"I'll give it a try," I said at once.

We spent the entire night searching for Jasper without success. Although Rosalie had worked out a vague location for one of the deaths, I couldn't pick up a scent. The Cullens left me and flew around part of the city, but it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Jasper could be anywhere and when we returned to our rooms at dawn, we were no closer to finding him and there was another report on the news about the 'angel of death' ending the life of an elderly lady who had been suffering from some unpronounceable and agonising disease that Carlisle explained was 'flesh eating'. It sounded like something from a horror movie to me and I shuddered, shutting my ears to the details when Emmett asked about it.

I went out to a diner for some breakfast and then returned to my room to sleep. The vampires were all gathered in one of the other rooms, talking about Jasper and none of them came out to speak to me. However, when I opened my eyes some hours later I found Edward sitting on the bed, leaning up against the wall and reading a newspaper. I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

"How long have you been here?"

"I don't know, a few hours. You snore."

"Fuck off," I grumbled. "What's in the paper?"

"A big article about the 'angel of death'."

"You think we'll find him?"

"I hope so. This is exactly the type of thing that would have brought the Volturi here - a vampire drawing attention to itself. I don't know how many of them are left, but Aro won't ignore this." Edward shuddered. "He's the last one I want to run into again."

I reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "We'll find him."

As soon as darkness fell again, we left the motel and parted. It seemed an impossible task and I couldn't very well go deep into the city as I would easily be spotted. I kept to the suburbs, doubting I would have any luck, but pressing on just the same. The night passed and gradually dawn approached. I had maybe an hour to get back to the motel before it was fully light and I turned around to retrace my steps. I could see a car heading my way, its lamps lighting up the street and I dodged into an alley, emerging from the other end behind what looked like a run down motel. I turned right and followed the wall of the building and there - right there around a window to one of the rooms - I smelled Jasper. I stopped instantly and sniffed. His scent was on the wall of the building, around the window and on the ground beneath my paws. I had found him! I crept around the front of the motel and checked the name, then began to race back to the motel where the Cullens would be heading. There was nothing I could do in wolf form and I risked being seen in daylight if I hung around.

I phased back outside the building and climbed in through my window, grabbing jeans and a shirt quickly and then bursting out of my room. Edward and Carlisle were just coming in through the main door.

"I found him!" I exclaimed. "Watershed Motel, the place was called."

Edward was quick to grab the laptop he had brought with him and searched for the motel. A picture came up on the screen and I nodded immediately. We got ready to leave just as the others returned and within minutes the six of us were striding quickly back the way I had come a short time ago. It was barely a mile to the other motel and I took them to the window where I had caught Jasper's scent.

"I can still smell him," I said. "He must be using the window to come and go."

We continued along the rear of the building past four more windows and then headed for the front. Carlisle walked up to the fifth door and knocked loudly on it. There was no reply and after a second's hesitation he thrust a hand against it and broke the lock. The door burst open to reveal a rather tatty room with a large bed against one wall. I peered past Carlisle and Emmett as they stepped through the door and looked at the girl on the bed with wide eyes. To all intents and purposes she appeared dead, her skin as white as the Cullens', waves of long dark hair spread around her on the pillow and red lips slightly parted. Jasper exploded out of the bathroom in the next second and positioned himself between the bed and the rest of us. His eyes were crimson, his jaw clenched angrily.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Jasper," Carlisle said steadily. "You need to come home with us and let us help you."

"I don't need your help," Jasper stated. "For once _I'm_ helping."

"By killing people?"

"I'm ending their suffering."

"That's not for you to do, Jasper, you can't play God," Edward said and I remembered what he had told me about the two years he had spent doing a similar thing.

"Who's the girl?" Emmett asked.

"She's mine, you stay away from her!" Jasper hissed.

"What do you mean, yours? What have you done?" Carlisle asked, taking a step towards the bed. "She's changing! What the hell have you done? You break the treaty and our most basic law by creating your own newborn?!"

"She was dying!" Jasper cried. "I only did what you did with all of us. Her name's Alexa and she was a dancer. I saw her perform a couple of nights ago in a theatre. She was amazing, like an angel on the stage." His voice dropped to barely above a whisper and hitched with a dry sob. "She collapsed in the finale and they took her away in an ambulance. I followed, I couldn't help it. There was just something about her. I found out she had a heart condition. She knew she only had a few months left, but she never told the dance company. She knew they wouldn't let her perform any more. She has no family, no one to care about her. I was going to end her suffering like I did the others, but she was lucid and she realised what I am. She begged me..." He choked on his words again and scrubbed his hands over his face. "She begged me to let her have another life so she could dance again, even if she had to dance alone. How could I refuse?"

"Jesus, Jasper," Emmett groaned.

"This is how you get over Alice, is it?" Rosalie asked in dismay. "Make your own mate to replace her?"

"It wasn't like that," Jasper said. "Please...I don't want her to die."

Carlisle sighed heavily and glanced over at the bed. "It's too late now anyway. She's waking up."

Edward looked over his shoulder at me warily and I knew he was worrying about the fact that Jasper had broken the treaty by first killing the four other people and then changing this girl and I was torn, but I knew without question that my loyalty lay with him. I put my hands on his shoulders and brought my mouth close to his ear.

"It's ok," I whispered.

I felt him relax and suddenly he leaned back against my chest with a sigh. I ran my hands down his arms, gripping his biceps and holding him there as we all watched the girl on the bed open her red eyes and look up at us in bemusement.

"Jasper?" she said softly.

"It's ok, these are my family," he told her, reaching down to take her hand and turning back to face Carlisle with a determined look on his face. "None of them will hurt you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you as always, for reading and reviewing :o)**

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Carlisle, Emmett and Edward stayed with Jasper while the rest of us were asked to leave. Esme went to rent a car so that Alexa could be moved to our motel without having to use a cab and Rosalie and I made our way back there, the blonde vampire stalking along with her nose in the air, muttering under her breath. I ignored her and went to my room, once again finding myself conflicted.

The newborn changed everything. If we had found Jasper alone and the Cullens had managed to get him home and bring him under control, I could have reluctantly overlooked it and kept my promise to Edward. The pack wouldn't have known Jasper was responsible for the deaths in Houston and since there was no way the Cullens would talk, it would remain a secret. However, I couldn't pretend ignorance over the fact that Jasper had changed Alexa, especially if the Cullens' intention was to bring her back to Forks and make her part of their family. She would be seen, talked about and once the pack found out they would know I knew about it at the very least. There was also a huge risk that she would be a danger to the people of Forks and the Reservation and that was something which would have to be addressed. I would have to tell Sam and the others the minute I got back and somehow I had to make Edward accept that. I dragged a hand through my hair and gnawed at my nails as I waited for him to return.

They all arrived maybe two hours' later. I stayed in my room as I heard voices and after about ten minutes Edward came in, looking as anxious as I felt. He closed the door and leaned against it. I felt an unexpected urge to have him closer to me and I patted the mattress in front of where I was sitting cross-legged.

"Come here. I need to talk to you."

He toed his shoes off and walked over to the bed, sitting down in the same style as me, legs folded, facing me, only inches between us.

"I know you said it's ok, but it's not, is it?"

"No. If it had just been Jasper...I mean, there's no way the pack could know he's responsible for the four people who died. But the newborn...what's going to happen? Are they bringing her back to Forks?"

"It looks that way. Jasper made himself responsible for her by changing her, but that also makes the rest of us responsible, especially given Jasper's state at the moment. Carlisle's sending Rosalie and Esme out to hunt as soon as it's dark, to bring back blood for Alexa. He's going to try to make her vegetarian from the beginning, but she's still going to be a risk."

"How long for?"

"Six months minimum; possibly a year."

"Shit," I groaned.

"I'm sorry you got dragged into this," Edward sighed.

He had his hands folded together in his lap and I reached out to pull them apart, holding one in each of mine. It wasn't something I thought about doing, I just did it and then looked down at our joined hands with a touch of bemusement. He stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed again and didn't pull away.

"It's not your fault," I said. "There wasn't anything else you could have done except involve me. But you know I have to tell my guys about Alexa."

"Yes, I know. Carlisle's aware of that too. He's pissed because I insisted on you coming with us, but he knows we couldn't cover it up anyway when we get home. Jasper broke the treaty and we can either deal with it and try to work out something with Sam, or we can pack up and leave again; move somewhere else."

"Sam's going to be pretty hard to convince. There are supposed to be no exceptions. He'll want to..."

"...kill Jasper," Edward finished, hanging his head.

"Yeah. You know I'll do what I can, I just don't know if I can prevent..." I stopped, frowning. A thought occurred to me and Edward looked up, his eyebrows raised.

"You thought of something?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe. You didn't pick it up?"

"I'm trying to stay out of your head."

"I don't even know if I could do it and if I could, whether it would work. Will you promise me not to tell your family? If Sam and Carlisle can somehow come to an agreement, I wouldn't need to, so I don't want them to know there might be another option. I'd rather it was a last resort."

"I'll keep it to myself," Edward promised and I knew that I could trust him, just as he trusted me.

"Read my thoughts, just in case."

Edward nodded and his eyes locked onto mine as he invaded my head.

_'I don't know if Bella ever told you this, but I'm the true Alpha. My great-grandfather was Alpha of the last pack in La Push and I inherited the title along with the gene. Sam phased first and he acted as Alpha until I joined the pack, but I didn't want to even be a wolf, let alone have the responsibility of being leader. I turned it down and let him continue. Which means that in theory, I could take it back if I had to.'_

"I didn't know that," Edward whispered. "But if you did that, wouldn't it create a fight between you and him? Or even you and the rest of the pack?"

_'Possibly. Probably. It would be between me and him, but the rest of the pack would have to pick a side afterwards.'_

"I couldn't expect you to do that," Edward protested.

_'That's why I want it to be a last resort.'_

"Edward!"

The door opened swiftly to reveal Carlisle and suddenly Edward was standing near him, slipping his feet into his shoes. I hadn't even seen him move - one moment he was sitting in front of me holding my hands and the next he was across the room. I got to my feet and looked for my boots.

"I'm gonna go out and get something to eat," I said. They obviously still had plenty to discuss and I knew Edward would tell me anything important later. As I left the room I glanced through the open door into the next one where Alexa, Esme and Rosalie were all sitting. Their eyes moved to me and Rosalie's lip curled as she looked at me.

"Alexa, that's Jacob, he's...Edward's friend," Esme said, giving me a smile.

The dark-haired, red-eyed girl looked at me curiously and her nose wrinkled. Rosalie caught it and grimaced.

"He's a dog, you'll get used to the smell if he sticks around."

"Gee," I muttered. "Way to introduce me, Rose. I'm going out."

"Take your time," the blonde snapped and I heard Esme begin to reprimand her as I headed out of the main door. I hoped it wouldn't be too long before we returned to Forks. I wanted to be close to Edward, but living in such close proximity to the rest of them was wearing, even after such a short time.

I stayed out for several hours, wandering around the city, eating in Taco Bell and then stocking up on some groceries. I only returned when I began to miss Edward. As I headed back to the motel I realised there was an absence of the usual physical discomfort I felt, but it had only been a few hours. I just missed him and wanted to see him. This was new. Was this how it was going to be now, I wondered? I would start to enjoy being in his company more, think about him, miss him, want to...

"Fuck that," I muttered, shoving away the image of me wrapping my arms around him. I wasn't ready to do that or even think about it. I ignored the fact that I had sat on the bed holding his hands as if it was the most normal thing in the world; that I had almost - not quite, but almost - held him when we first found Jasper and he leaned against me; that I had held him in the cell when I thought we were dying and fought against Embry and Jasper when they tried to pull him away from me.

As planned, the two female vampires went out hunting as soon as darkness fell and once they returned with supplies, Alexa and Jasper were both given cups of blood - animal blood - to sate their thirst. I heard raised voices, crashes and stamping around from one of the other rooms and stayed out of the way in my own room until Edward came in, telling me Jasper was throwing tantrums as his body yearned for human blood after the past two days' indulgence.

"You're not going to hunt?" I said, glancing up at him. I was stretched out in the middle of the bed with my hands behind my head. He shook his head and I noticed his eyes were golden-brown.

"You know you don't have to hide in here all the time," he said. "Emmett and Esme are ok about you being here. I know Jasper will be when he gets himself together."

"I guess I'm more comfortable staying out of it," I replied. Carlisle was still angry that Edward had brought me along and much as Emmett and Esme were being nice, I was sure they would have preferred not to have a wolf spending too much time with them.

"Do you want me to go?" He paced up and down the room, hands in his pockets.

"Of course I don't want you to go. Sit down."

I shifted myself over to make more room and lay on my side, propping my head up with one hand. Edward picked up the pillow from the other side of the bed and placed it against the wall, then sat down and leaned against it, his legs stretched out in front of him and his hand resting on the comforter next to him. I stared at his slim white fingers as they lay perhaps a foot away from me and remembered how I had held both of his hands before. I had an almost irresistible urge to touch him now and I glanced up at his face anxiously, hoping he wasn't reading my thoughts. He had said earlier he was trying to stay out of my head. He gave no sign that he knew what I was thinking and I lowered my eyes again and moved slightly. My own hand came to rest a couple inches away from his and I wondered what he would do if I took his hand again. Hold mine like he did before, or vanish at the speed of sound. I stretched out my pinky finger until it just touched his, my pulse speeding up nervously. I couldn't help it; I _needed _to touch him. Being near him was no longer enough.

He didn't snatch his hand away or say anything, but I knew he was looking down at my hand and wondering what I would do next. A minute passed and eventually I slid my hand over his. Surely he would pull away now. His hand moved beneath mine, but rather than withdraw, it turned over until we were palm to palm. I curled my fingers around his slowly and he returned the pressure of my hand.

"This doesn't bother you," I heard myself say.

"I haven't had much contact with anyone in a very long time," he said. "Sometimes I miss it."

"What about Bella?" I asked, hoping it wouldn't upset him to talk about her.

"I tried to keep it to a minimum, especially if we were alone."

"Why?" I said in surprise.

"I thought I'd hurt her. Humans are so fragile."

My eyes widened. "But I thought you two...you know...slept together."

"Did she tell you that?"

"No, I guess I assumed."

"I only ever kissed her; I couldn't risk anything else. There was another reason too, but...never mind."

"No, tell me," I encouraged, curious.

"You'll think it's ridiculous."

"I won't." I gave his hand a squeeze.

"At the time when I was brought up...one didn't jump into bed at the first opportunity, or even after courting for a while. If you even kissed a girl other than on the cheek it was stepping over the line. Sex before marriage...just didn't happen. Well, it did, obviously, but not in my family or circle of friends."

"Wow, really? So in, what, ninety-odd years, you never did anything? Other than kiss?"

"Yes and it was only Bella so..."

"You're pretty starved of affection then."

"Mmm. It's not easy sometimes to look at the rest of my family when all of them have someone to be with, hold onto. Before Alice died, I mean. I would have had Bella eventually, if she hadn't... I was going to marry her. It was the condition of me changing her."

"I'm sorry." Shit. He was lonely, longing for someone to be close to, even if it was just to hold their hand. "I held you once, but you won't remember," I murmured.

"What? When?"

"It was in Volterra in that cell. You were dying; I thought maybe you were already gone."

Edward pulled his hand out of mine and I thought for a moment he was going to move away, but instead he rearranged the pillow again and lay down facing me.

"I don't remember," he said. "I wish I could remember."

"You were reciting 'Romeo and Juliet'. You were sick and in pain and you grabbed my shirt, like this..." I slowly took hold of his hand again and placed it on my chest, curling his fingers around the fabric. "When you stopped talking I felt like you were slipping away and I thought I would die too, so I held you and closed my eyes."

I couldn't really believe I was doing this, but I couldn't seem to stop. My heart raced and I struggled not to gasp for breath as I slid one arm under his neck and the other around his waist, tugging him against me until his face turned into my neck. I felt his coldness where our skin touched above the neck of my t-shirt and a muted change in temperature between our chests and where my arms lay around him, separated by two layers of fabric. Edward removed his hand from my shirt and slipped his arm around my back instead and I felt the cold shape of his hand where it rested on my spine, making goosebumps rise on my skin.

"I can remember...almost...it's foggy, like a dream that you can't quite recall when you wake up," he said softly.

"You have dreams?"

"Not any more. I just remember what it was like to have them."

Neither of us said anything more; we just lay there holding onto each other, me breathing and him not. It felt good holding him - as if I finally had something I had been waiting a long time for - and I wasn't sure how I should feel about it. Even if I could make myself forget about the fact that he was a vampire, I was still lying on a bed holding a boy in my arms and I wasn't horrified by the idea; it felt somehow right.

Eventually I must have fallen asleep and when I opened my eyes some hours later, the room was dark and much to my surprise, Edward was still lying in my arms. He didn't sleep and yet he lay there motionless so that he didn't disturb me, for hours, rather than move away.

"I should go." His voice was quiet and muffled by my shoulder and I wondered that he knew I had stirred when I had barely even moved my eyelids.

"Don't," I murmured.

I was too comfortable, half awake and half asleep, and I didn't want him to move. He stayed still and I drifted back into sleep. When I woke again it was daylight and he was gone. I rolled onto my back and stretched. I was still confused about how I felt. It was my instinct to fight against what seemed to be happening, but was there any point? I _liked_ holding him and knowing that he stayed in my arms while I slept and he certainly hadn't objected. Maybe I should just go with it and stop worrying so much. He was my life now; I would have to get used to it sooner or later anyway.

I got up, showered and changed and ate some of the food I bought the previous day. Then I called Dad and lied again, telling him Edward and I were hiking and talking and that I was getting along with him ok. Dad wasn't particularly happy and thought I was going over the top by spending days on end alone with the vampire. He thought it was time I went home and reminded me I couldn't take off without warning if I was even remotely serious about making money out of the garage. I promised I would be home in a couple of days and hung up, hoping that I would be.

I spent part of the day with Edward and Emmett. Carlisle glanced at me a few times whenever we happened to be in the same room, but he didn't speak to me directly, at least as regards the situation we were in, and I suspected he would leave it until we got back to Forks and had planned how to proceed.

So far Alexa seemed to be doing ok. She had never known anything other than animal blood and seemed surprisingly calm and happy to listen to Esme and Rosalie. Jasper was another story and had been physically restrained from leaving the motel several times by the other male vampires. I understood he was anguished over the loss of Alice, but why he had decided to return to his home town and begin killing humans, I didn't know. He wouldn't talk to any of them after his outburst when we found him and Edward only guessed that he felt he hadn't been able to save Alice, so he had tried to help others instead, mainly by ending their suffering until he found Alexa.

When darkness fell Edward, Emmett and Carlisle went out to hunt with Jasper and I went to a diner. The female vampires were shut in one of the other rooms together as usual when I returned and I went back to my own room and watched television for a while, waiting for Edward to get back. It was past midnight when I gave up waiting and went to bed. This time I stripped down to my shorts and slid under the sheet, disappointed that he was still out. I had begun to hope he would come back and want to be with me again, but it looked like I would be sleeping alone.

Edward didn't come into the room all night. I woke alone and discovered that they had been out until dawn, having to travel some distance to find prey rather than feed from the abundant cattle in surrounding areas and draw attention to themselves. The good thing was that Jasper appeared to have settled down a little and Edward told me later that Carlisle had had a talk to him, reminding him of his responsibility in having created a newborn and pointing out that the example he was setting her wasn't a good one. He went to spend time with her and Edward accompanied me when I went out to get breakfast. It was a cloudy day threatening rain so he didn't need to worry about being caught in the sunlight. I ate and he sat stirring a cup of coffee until it went cold.

"Do you know when we're going back?" I asked. "I talked to my Dad, he wants me home."

"Where does he think you are?"

"Hiking in the mountains...with you."

Edward smirked. "I bet that made him happy. Carlisle's planning to leave tomorrow morning as long as Jasper and Alexa don't have any setbacks. She seems ok, much better than expected. Rose has taken her under her wing, which is something I never thought I'd see. Rose is pretty uncaring mostly."

"I hadn't noticed," I grinned.

"She's alright when you get used to her."

"I don't think that'll happen with me."

I paid the check and we left the diner and spent some time wandering around the city before we returned to the motel. The rest of the day dragged. I spent it with Edward and Emmett, but I thought constantly about returning home. Carlisle confirmed we would be leaving at dawn and much as I was keen to get back, at the same time I was dreading the reaction I was going to face when I delivered my news. I retired early, took a shower, put on some clean shorts and fell into bed. Ten minutes later Edward slipped into the room. I heard the click of the door as it closed and then heard nothing, but I felt the mattress move as he sat down on it. My heart picked up its pace and I squinted at him in the darkness.

"Not hunting tonight?" I asked a touch breathlessly.

"No, I'll be fine until we get home. Carlisle and Emmett have gone out with Jasper."

"Are you going to stay while I sleep?"

"If you want me to."

"Yeah."

He stood up for a moment and took his pants off; for once he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt rather than slacks and a shirt. Then he slid under the sheet and lay down about as far away from me as he could get, his back turned to me.

"I won't bite," I teased.

He laughed softly and didn't move. I reached out to touch him and my hand landed on his arm just below the short sleeve of his t-shirt, feeling his skin chill my palm.

"Come here, will you?" I tugged at him and he slid backwards, in an instant the gap between us closing from two feet to two inches. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I wanted him close and it would probably be the last chance I got to hold him for quite a while. I slid my arm around his waist and spooned up against him, my face against his neck. Every point at which we touched - legs, arms, cheeks - brought out goosebumps on my skin and I hugged him tighter for a moment before I forced myself to relax, knowing I needed to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks for all the great reviews and to everyone who is reading. Happy to know you're enjoying the story!**

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

When I woke at dawn, Edward was still with me. He had turned over to face me and our noses were almost touching. His eyes were closed, but I knew he would sense immediately that I was awake. I didn't even think; it was all instinct. My heart began to race and my throat went dry as I moved my head forward and angled it slightly until our lips touched. In that second I had barely enough time to register that his lips were much softer than I expected before he catapulted out of the bed and across the room, somehow snatching up his jeans on the way.

"What are you doing?" he gasped, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry," I groaned. '_Fuck. What the hell did I do that for?'_

"Is this what you want from me?"

"I don't know." I could feel my face burning and I rolled onto my back and scrubbed my hands over my cheeks. I had no idea what to say to him and my heart pounded in panic.

_'I fucking kissed him! What the hell was I thinking? Christ, I hope he's not reading my mind!'_

Edward vanished into the bathroom and closed the door before I could blink. I got up quickly and looked for something to wear, trying not to think too much. I knew I would have to talk to him, but I didn't want to do it while I was still in bed in just my shorts, feeling at a disadvantage. I pulled on cargo pants and grabbed a shirt, slipping it over my head just as he emerged from the bathroom again, buckling his belt and looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Edward..." I began.

"Edward!" Carlisle's voice sounded from outside the door. "You two need to get your belongings together, we'll be leaving in about thirty minutes."

"Um..." Edward glanced at me. "We better do as he says."

He left the room so quickly that I found myself looking at the closed door and wondering if he had actually passed through it.

"Fuck," I muttered aloud.

Like this wasn't going to be awkward. Now I wouldn't have the chance to speak to him until we reached Port Angeles and got in the car to drive back to Forks. I quickly washed up in the bathroom and gathered together my few clothes and toiletries, stuffing them into my bag. I waited until the last possible minute before leaving the room, hoping that Edward would come back in to speak to me, but he didn't and in the end I took a deep breath and headed out.

Carlisle had summoned a seven-seater cab to take us to the airfield and Esme went to return the hire car, getting a separate cab from there to join us. The jet was ready and waiting with a metal staircase in place and there was nothing to hold us up. I took the seat I had occupied before to the side of the television and struggled not to fidget. I couldn't even bring myself to look at Edward and he only made things worse for me by sitting beside Emmett in front of the screen, meaning that looking straight ahead had my eyes landing on him. I stared at my hands as I picked at a loose thread on the hem of my shirt, slumping down in the chair and stretching my legs out in front of me.

Once or twice I glanced up at Edward and realised he was doing the same thing I was - studying his fingernails, adjusting his belt, staring with interest at the television screen which hadn't yet been switched on. If only we'd had five more minutes to talk before we left, maybe things wouldn't have been so uncomfortable. If only he would read my mind I could make some effort to explain how I felt, but I knew that he wouldn't for the most part unless invited.

"What's wrong with you two? Lovers' tiff?" Rosalie said suddenly, glancing from Edward to me and back again. I immediately felt my face turning red again and cursed the fact that my skin was light enough for it to show.

"Don't start with your shit, Rose!" Edward snapped and Emmett looked at him in surprise while Rosalie just lifted an eyebrow and smirked.

I angled my head down and raised my eyes just enough to see Edward as he dragged a hand nervously through his hair and then chewed his thumbnail. I didn't want to sit there wishing I could just disappear for another three or more hours and I willed him to look at me. After another minute or two he did meet my eyes warily and I slowly raised my hand, pretending to scratch my ear until I realised none of the others were actually looking at me and then tapped the side of my head with one finger. Edward gave me a slight nod and I guessed he had realised what I was silently asking.

_'I'm sorry,' _I thought. '_I didn't actually intend to do that. I'm supposed to try to make you happy, not freak you the hell out. I don't want things to be fucked up between us; can we just forget it?'_

He studied me unblinkingly, chewing his lip.

_'I haven't even been thinking about you like that,' _I continued. '_You don't have to worry about metrying to jump you at every opportunity.' _I tried a rueful smirk and his lip slipped from between his teeth, his mouth twitching upwards at the corner into his customary crooked smile.

_'Are we ok? I want you near me, just not too near.'_

He grinned, a quick flash before he straightened his face and nodded almost imperceptively.

"Hell, you two are creepy; can't you have a conversation like normal people?" Rosalie frowned.

"Creepy? This coming from a vampire who hates everyone including her family?" I said.

Edward chuckled and I heaved a sigh of relief. The plane ride wasn't so bad after all, but I was careful with my thoughts, unsure whether he was still reading them or not. When we reached Port Angeles I realised I was starving and the rest of the Cullens and Alexa went on ahead, leaving Edward and me at the airfield. There was a diner there and although I offered to just grab a sandwich to take out, he seemed happy to get a table and waste some time before leaving. He seemed nervous again and dragged his fingers through his hair several times until it was sticking up all over his head.

I glanced around the diner and noticed just one other couple at the far end, paying attention only to each other. I slid my hand across the table and placed it on top of his.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly. "Still bothered about this morning?"

"No." He shook his head and met my eyes. "I'm sorry I freaked out over that, I didn't expect it."

"Hey, nor did I. I don't even know where that came from, so just don't worry about it."

"I'm not." He turned his hand over and held mine. "I'm worried about what's going to happen when we get back. I don't want us to fight with your guys; I can only see you getting caught in the crossfire. You shouldn't have to take my side over your own pack."

"Maybe not, but I will," I said firmly. "You're number one with me, Edward, and the pack know that. Their problem will be with Jasper and Alexa and probably Carlisle too, so I'm just gonna have to do what I can to keep things to a discussion and not a fight. I'll go straight home when we get back and get this over with."

"Should I go with you?" Edward offered.

"No, it'll just get Sam's back up before I even open my mouth. I'll call you as soon as I've talked to him, even if it's just to warn you he's on his way over."

"Please don't do anything rash," he begged.

"I won't do anything until I can get Sam and Carlisle in front of each other," I promised. "Then we're just going to have to take it as it comes."

I finished the coke I had ordered to go with my fried chicken sandwich and paid the check, then we headed out to the car. Edward drove me to the edge of the Reservation and I grabbed my bag, gave his arm a squeeze and climbed out of the car, then jogged home. I decided the best way to go about things would be to invite Sam over rather than go his place. He might me a tiny bit less eager to explode in front of my Dad, although I doubted it.

Dad was watching a ball game on television when I got in and he looked up in surprise, then switched the set off quickly.

"Good to see you back, son. I can't say I'm happy about the way you just took off, but I hope you enjoyed the excursion."

"Hmm, thanks, but not really," I said, sitting down gingerly on the edge of the sofa.

"Not getting along with your Imprint?" He gave a slight grimace as he said 'Imprint' and I doubted he would ever get used to it.

"No, we're fine. But I didn't tell the truth about where I was and now there's a big problem."

"What have you done?" Dad asked immediately.

"I didn't do anything, nor did Edward. Do you mind if I get Sam over here before I tell you? It'll be easier than having to repeat myself."

"It's pack business then," Dad said and began to look worried. "And serious by the sounds of it. Call Sam; I'll wait."

I pulled out my phone and called Sam quickly. He wanted me to just spill whatever I had to say over the phone, but I explained Dad wanted me to talk to us both and he agreed to come over. I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants several times before he arrived, bringing Jared with him. I counted myself lucky he hadn't brought Paul, who would no doubt have gone crazy at the first mention of a newborn. The two of them greeted Dad and sat down.

"What is it, Jacob?" Sam asked, his gravelly voice serious.

"Did Embry tell you I was camping with Edward?" I asked him.

"Yes, he did and I can't say I'm impressed you just took off like that," the Alpha said, glancing apologetically at Dad for reprimanding me in front of him. Dad just nodded.

"I know, I already got that from Dad," I sighed. "I wasn't camping. It was a last minute thing." Shit, how much should I tell him? Did I say I'd been in Texas trying to stop Jasper's killing spree?

"Go on," prompted Sam.

"Jasper Cullen disappeared," I said.

Immediately Sam and Jared glanced at each other, their brows drawing together in identical frowns.

"He's back now, we found him," I continued. "He was upset over the death of Alice and needed some time away from the others."

"Jacob, get to the point," Sam rumbled.

"He brought a newborn back with him."

_"What? _Where did he find it? Did he create it?" Jared exclaimed.

"He...um...I guess he did the same thing Carlisle did with the rest of them. She was dying and he..."

"...played God?" finished Jared.

Sam's face darkened and Dad looked both horrified and worried.

"The circumstances aren't important," Sam growled. "He broke the treaty. The treaty stands as long as they don't bite a human, whether it's to change them or kill them. You know that, Jacob."

"Yes, of course I know it. They do too. Carlisle is pretty pissed at Jasper. They..."

"I'm sure he is, but this shouldn't have happened in the first place."

"Can you tell me how Bella would have fitted into this if she had lived?" I asked him suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Jared asked.

"Edward was going to marry her. If that happened he would have changed her - not his choice, she was determined it would happen. What then?"

"Then it would have been viewed in the same way as this!" Sam snapped. "I have to say I'm worried about this Imprint, Jacob. I'd be the first one to tell you I know how you feel and that I know you're going to do everything in your power for Edward, but you need to remember your pack loyalty. Just because your wolf picked a vampire for some reason, doesn't mean you leap to the defense of the rest of them, especially not in situations such as this."

"I'm not!" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet. "I'm just trying to find a way to keep the peace. Carlisle is aware of how bad this is and he wants to talk to you."

"I'm not sure what good talking will do," Jared put in. "You know we can't have a newborn near Forks. We have to destroy any threat to the tribe and the people of the town."

"Where did she come from, Jacob?" Sam asked then.

"Um..."

"Jacob, where exactly did you go the last few days?" Dad asked quietly. "Was it Texas?"

_Shit._

"Yes," I nodded.

"Damn it all!" Sam exclaimed, standing up suddenly. "This isn't just about a newborn, Jacob! When were you going to tell us the rest of the story? Did Jasper kill those four people that have been on the news?"

"They were...already dying...the same as Alexa," I said in a small voice.

"You're defending the leech!" Jared cried. "What, are you part of their family now? You think because you Imprinted on Edward it's ok for them to behave like this?"

"Of course not. I just...it's sick, I know it is, but..."

"There is no but!" Sam snapped. "It's not just the newborn, but Jasper as well that has become a danger to our people. We cannot allow them to be a risk."

"So what are you going to do? Take the pack over there and attack them?" I demanded.

"No, I'm going to take the pack over there and speak to Carlisle, but I don't see there being any solution to this other than getting rid of them one way or another."

"You're going to turn this into a war between us and them?"

"Jacob, a few weeks ago you would have been as keen as the rest of us to see this dealt with in the only way we can deal with it," Jared said.

"You two both have Imprints," I reminded them. "You know Edward comes first with me. If anything happens to him..."

"It's not Edward who's the problem here," said Sam. "None of us will touch him."

"But you want to hurt his brother. That will hurt him."

"That's too bad, Jasper should have thought about what he was doing to his family when he started killing people." Sam headed for the door. "I'll sort this out, Billy, one way or another."

"Are you going to the Cullens'?" I asked.

"Yes. Ride with me in the truck. Jared, round up the others. I want you outside the Cullen house in fifteen minutes."

"Phased?" Jared raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." Sam walked out and I made the excuse that I needed the bathroom and would be with him in a minute. Slamming the door after me, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Edward.

'On my way with Sam. He knows about Alexa and Houston. He'll talk to Carlisle. The rest are coming wolf forms.'

I hurried out to join Sam, my heart hammering with dread of what might happen, wondering if I could somehow avert a fight without having to try taking over from Sam. I hadn't wanted the Alpha role from the beginning and I certainly didn't want it now, at the risk of alienating half the pack, but after what Sam had said - and I had known exactly what he would say even before I opened my mouth - I feared I may have to do exactly that in order to stop the pack and the Cullens trying to kill each other. I wished I was older; I wished I had more experience and I wished I knew what to do for the best, but I just didn't. At the end of the day I was a sixteen-year-old kid who had been plunged into a world I thought only existed in books and what I wanted more than anything, was to prevent disaster, for Edward and everyone else, without having to be disloyal to the pack. Edward and I were the union between two warring families and I would have given anything for us all to be able to get along, but I knew it was pretty unlikely it would ever happen. It reminded me of 'Romeo and Juliet.' That damned play seemed to have quite a few parallels with what was going on in my life.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts as Sam parked in front of the Cullens' house. Carlisle and Edward were standing at the top of the steps leading up to the front door. Edward was chewing his lip and as I looked at him, he dragged a hand through his hair worriedly. Ignoring Sam and Carlisle, I sprang up the steps and pulled him into a hug. I couldn't help myself. I couldn't pretend that I wasn't scared about what might happen and I needed the contact, if only for a moment. I could feel Sam's disapproving gaze on my back as Edward slid his arms around me to return the hug and I tightened my grip.

"The others are here," he whispered against my ear suddenly and I glanced over my shoulder, noticing the pack of wolves led by Jared's large brown form emerging from the trees.

"Read my thoughts, they have sharp ears," I breathed, glad that until I phased the wolves wouldn't be able to read my mind. '_I don't know how this will work out, I know some of them will want a fight, especially Paul. Sam said he would talk to Carlisle, but...they'll want to kill Alexa...damnit, I didn't want to tell you that, but I'm not going to keep anything from you.'_

"It's alright, I expected that. Jacob, I know you're in a difficult position here. I don't expect you to go against your own pack to defend Jasper's mistakes. Of course I'm going to be on his side - he's my brother - but you can't do everything."

"Edward, that's enough, come inside!" Carlisle interrupted and I let go of Edward reluctantly.

_'I know you'll probably do this anyway, but get in their heads, in case they say one thing and plan to do another.'_

Edward gave me a slight nod and preceded Carlisle into the house. Sam followed, leaving me outside with the wolves. I had almost expected to be part of the discussion, but it was clear that Sam and Carlisle would talk alone.

I leaned against one of the pillars outside the door, feeling uncomfortable under the gaze of the wolves. As I glanced from one to another, I noticed anger and worry in Jared's eyes; sympathy and anxiety in Embry's, Quil's and Seth's; confusion in those of the kids, Collin and Brady; rage in Leah's. Paul just looked like he wanted to kill someone and I doubted he would rule me out trying to disable me if it came to it.

An hour passed and I had eventually sat down on the steps. Some of the wolves lay on their bellies, relaxed but alert, Jared stood motionless and Paul and Leah paced and snarled as time went on and no one came out of the house. Then eventually the door opened again and I sprang to my feet. Carlisle and Sam came out, Sam stiff-jawed but calm and Carlisle sad and resigned. I looked past them, seeing Edward in the hallway, hoping for some indication of what had happened, but he just looked upset. Esme, Emmett and Rosalie were all there too and they came out now, flanking Carlisle as he stood a little distance from Sam. Emmett and Rosalie both looked pissed, Esme just unhappy.

It was Carlisle who spoke. He accepted full responsibility for Jasper's behaviour and for Alexa. Sam had eventually agreed with him, reluctantly, that a fight between us and them wasn't going to do anyone any good and would only result in possible deaths on both sides. Much as Sam wanted the destruction of the newborn and Jasper too for the deaths in Houston, that clearly couldn't happen. With the two sides at war, neither would be in a good position to defend the area against rogue vampires, or God forbid, the Volturi should they make another appearance. As he talked, Edward slipped out of the doorway and stood close to my side.

"Paul and the girl wolf think that's bullshit. Paul would have attacked Jasper by now if he was out here." His cool lips brushed my ear lobe as he breathed the words and I eyed Paul warily. His eyes were narrowed, head down and teeth showing, while Jared glared at him. "The brown one's telling him to calm down," Edward reported.

Carlisle continued, explaining that in no way were Jasper's so-called 'angel of death' antics being condoned, but the only way to keep peace between them and us, was for him and the newborn to leave Forks for a minimum of six months, possibly longer depending on Alexa's development. Esme planned to take the pair of them to Alaska to stay with cousins to keep them out of harm's way and to prevent them doing harm to anyone else, although it didn't seem likely that this would be an issue.

Paul and Leah both snarled, ears lying flat against their heads. Jared growled and Sam descended the steps.

"This was decided between Carlisle and me," he said. "Everything he said is right. I don't like the situation any more than you do, but we do not want a fight over this. We will only put ourselves and everyone in La Push and Forks at risk if we turn against each other."

"Paul's thinking there may as well not be a treaty if Sam's just going to accept something this serious," Edward whispered.

_'He's going to attack, isn't he?'_

"Not yet. He's asking Leah to back him up."

"Fuck," I muttered aloud.

Jared growled at Paul and then Leah and I guessed he was telling them to back down. I didn't like the situation one bit and I felt helpless in human form.

"Sam...those two are going to kick off," I said.

"I know, Jacob, stay out of it," Sam said over his shoulder. "Guys...the decision has been made. I will not allow any of you to..."

He didn't get to finish his sentence before Paul was racing forward, teeth bared, crouching briefly before he launched himself straight at Emmett. They had already had one altercation in the past and I knew Paul hated the big vampire even more than the others for getting the better of him.

The next few seconds seemed to pass in slow motion as the vampires all moved, most to one side or the other and Emmett straight up in the air. Sam phased so fast he became a blur and I just hesitated for a fraction of a second, making sure Edward was no longer at my side before I let my wolf explode out of me. Then Paul landed on the spot where Emmett had been standing and I found myself face to face with him.


	16. Chapter 16

**As always, thank you to everyone who is reading and I really appreciate the reviews :o)**

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I could hear the thoughts coming from some of the other wolves - disbelief from Seth and the two younger ones as they questioned whether Paul would really attack me. I didn't doubt that he would - we had fought before over Bella when she provoked him and he phased and scared her. In his head he had more reason to fight with me now than before. His thoughts were an enraged jumble, but clear enough.

_'...fucking leeches...traitor...kill the newborn...Leah...'_

_'Jesus, Leah, you can't!' _Seth panicked.

_'Paul, back off,'_ I thought. '_I don't want to fight you.'_

_'Then get out of my way, asshole.'_

_'Paul!' _Sam growled.

_'You're on your own, Paul,' _Leah responded, much to my relief.

Paul swung his head to the left and eyed Edward who was perhaps six feet from me and I launched myself without wasting another second to see what Paul would do. No way in hell was I letting him move one paw in Edward's direction.

We were already close, almost nose to nose, and as I thrust myself forward with my back legs, pulling the front ones off the ground, my chest crashed into his and we rolled down the steps in a tangle of legs, tails and red and grey fur, Paul clawing and snapping furiously. We hit the ground and scrambled away from each other, then Paul pounced again, jaws wide, front paws extended.

_'PAUL!'_ Sam bellowed.

"Oh, my God!" Edward exclaimed.

My attention was caught just for a second and as Paul hit me and knocked me onto my back, I cursed my stupidity for letting myself be distracted. I shoved my front paws upwards, digging the claws into his chest to hold him at bay as he snapped at me. His teeth crunched into a leg just above the paw and I howled. Paul let me go and I phased back, finding myself crouching on the ground naked, my wrist bleeding and useless.

"Fuck," I muttered through my teeth.

Sam loomed over me, his eyes fixed on Paul. I could no longer hear their thoughts, but Paul took a few steps backwards, gradually lowering his head until it was practically on the ground, grimacing and protesting, but powerless against our Alpha.

"Jacob!" I hadn't seen Edward move, but he was beside me, touching my shoulder. "What can I do?"

"Um...get me something to wear?" I ground out through the pain.

"Emmett! Can you get...?" Edward began, but Emmett had already disappeared into the house. He returned in seconds with some sweats which he handed to Edward. I took them and hauled myself to my feet, struggling into them, embarrassed when Edward helped me pull them up.

"You had better stay here and let Carlisle look at your arm," he said.

I glanced at Sam. "Will you speak to him?"

Sam turned away from Paul, who was lying on his belly looking furious, but resigned. I heard Edward's side of the brief conversation, where clearly Sam indicated it would be better if I did stay with the Cullens for the moment, so long as Carlisle didn't object. Edward spoke briefly to Carlisle and then came back to me, taking hold of my uninjured arm to lead me into the house.

"Sam says you should stay here while he deals with Paul and takes the others home. Carlisle's going to look at your wrist in a minute. Do you think it's broken?"

"It feels like it is. It's the same damn place as when it was broken in Volterra," I grimaced.

Edward took me into a room that was set up as a doctor's surgery and I sat down on the leather recliner with a sigh. "What did I miss?" I asked him. "In the meeting, I mean?"

"They went in Carlisle's study, but I...tuned in. Carlisle made the suggestion that Jasper and Alexa go away for a while. Sam agreed more or less straight away that it was the best solution. He didn't want a fight any more than we do."

"Yeah, I know he didn't want to go down that route unless there was no choice. I hope Paul's behaviour didn't make things worse again."

"Sam apologised for him," Edward said.

"I'm sorry Jasper has to leave," I told him. "Esme too, that must be tough for Carlisle."

"I've had worse things to deal with," the doctor answered as he walked into the room.

"I'm sorry about Paul," I said at once. "I know Sam said the same, but..."

"It's fine," Carlisle interrupted. "Let's look at your injury."

Edward stepped out of the way while Carlisle examined my arm and reported that it would need splinting and bandaging to ensure it healed straight. I groaned and gasped as he did this, but in minutes it was done.

"Thank you, Carlisle, I appreciate it," I said. "I'll get out of your way."

"There's no need to rush off, Jacob, you can stay and spend some time with Edward if you want to," he told me.

"Really?" I shut my mouth quickly, realising it was hanging open.

"I haven't been particularly pleasant to you recently and I'm sorry for that. You took care of Edward in Volterra and helped us to find Jasper and all I've done is try to keep you apart. Edward told me what he knows about Imprinting, so I realise you're going to want to be near each other, regardless of what your pack or I may say. I don't suppose you're having an easy time of it on the Reservation, are you?"

"Not really. Sam and Jared understand because they have Imprints, but none of them are happy about me being with a vampire."

"Well, like I said, you're welcome to visit here any time you want to," Carlisle said. "I'm afraid Rosalie can be quite rude, but you know that."

I grinned. "I don't suppose she'll be too pleased to have my stink in her house."

"I'll leave you to it. I want to see Esme before she leaves." Carlisle gave me a nod and left the room.

"Wow." I got to my feet. "He really doesn't mind me coming over?"

Edward smiled. "He realises you're getting shit from both sides and will probably get even more from your pack after this. Do you want to hang out in my room for a while?"

"Sure." I followed him out of the room and up a wide staircase. Several doors opened off the landing.

"That one at the end is the main bathroom if you want it," he said, pointing. "I have an en suite though, too."

He pushed open the third door and I walked in, gazing around his room with interest. There was a large sofa, a desk with a top of the range computer on it, a television and DVD player in another corner and shelves on one wall running almost from floor to ceiling, stacked with hundreds and hundreds of books, CDs and DVDs.

"You sure have a lot of stuff," I said, eyeing some of the books. I tapped my finger on the spine of 'Romeo and Juliet'. It was the copy Rosalie had found in Florence. "Imagine finding that here."

Edward grinned. I turned away from the shelves and looked around the room again, realising something was missing; something that should have been in everyone's bedroom.

"There's no bed!" I exclaimed.

"I don't need one," Edward reminded me. "Would you like a drink or something to eat? We always keep things in, just in case."

"Do you have coffee? I'd kill for one right now."

"Black with two sugars?" Edward said.

"How do you know that?"

"Diner in Houston."

"Yeah. Thanks," I said. I shouldn't have been surprised he remembered how I drank my coffee if he could memorise an entire play.

"Coming right up." He left me alone in the room and disappeared downstairs. I peered at the endless rows of CDs, discovering he had just about every genre of music in existence, even some by my favourite rock bands. I wouldn't have put Edward down for a rock music fan.

"Hey." I looked up at the sound of the voice and saw Jasper peeking around the door. "Can I speak with you for a minute?"

"Ok." I had never really talked to Jasper except briefly when we had been training before the newborn army arrived and he had mostly been kept away from me in Houston.

"I wanted to say sorry. I know what I did screwed things up for you with your pack; my family too. I guess I wasn't thinking about anything, I was just...lost without Alice. I thought going to my hometown to get away for a while might help and then I got tempted into...my old ways. I thought I was actually doing some good there, but it was selfish. I took away people's chance to say goodbye, as well as risking the wrath of the Volturi, if there are enough of them left to pay attention."

I was surprised by the deep and serious nature of what he said, considering he didn't know me, but I assumed it was something he felt he had to do before leaving.

"I can understand in a way," I said.

"So...you and Edward," he went on. "He'd kick my ass for saying this, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I know he acts like everything is ok most of the time, but inside he's lonely. He's always been lonely since he was changed. He needs somebody as much as you need to breathe."

"I know," I said quietly.

"You do?" Jasper raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah."

"You're going to stick around?"

I nodded. "Imprinting means I'm in it for life. Although it'll eventually be more than just the pull of it keeping me with him."

"You might have a hard time getting past some of his values; he was brought up differently from the rest of us. He..."

"Jasper, I know," I interrupted. "He talks to me. None of that matters anyway, I'm supposed to be what he wants me to be; whatever makes him happy."

"He talks about that stuff? Well, that's a first, normally he doesn't talk, period."

"Not even to Bella?" I blurted out.

"Oh, don't even think about her," Jasper grimaced. "There was something that was never right about that. I don't know, she was...a strange girl. I know, coming from a vampire that's a weird thing to say. I knew she'd end up hurting him one way or another, even if it was by dying. Sorry, I know you cared for her. But her and him...it wasn't right. Add to that she made the rest of us uncomfortable. I wanted to bite her whenever we were in the same room."

I chuckled. "So you don't mind too much that Edward's stuck with a wolf then?"

"You promise you'll take care of him?"

"That goes without saying."

"Then I don't mind. I gotta go. I guess I'll see you in a few months."

"Good luck," I said, accepting his hand as he stuck it out to shake mine.

"Thanks."

He turned to go and almost bumped into Edward as he returned with a mug of coffee.

"Jas?" Edward frowned. "What are you doing?"

"My big brother thing, don't sweat it. You coming to see me off?"

"Of course." Edward passed me the mug. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

I stayed alone in the room, watching out of the window as Carlisle and Emmett packed bags into one of the cars and everyone hugged each other. Jasper had really surprised me, but it was a relief to know that at least one of the other Cullens accepted me. Emmett had already shown signs of being friendly in Houston and Carlisle appeared to be coming around to the idea too. It seemed that Rosalie was the only one who would continue to have a problem with me being around.

Esme now slid into the driver's seat and Jasper held open the rear door for Alexa. She seemed a surprisingly calm vampire considering she was a newborn and I hoped she and Jasper would be able to help each other get through the next few months without too many problems. Jasper got in the front of the car and slammed the door and a moment later they drove away. The others stood watching until the vehicle disappeared around a bend in the drive and then came back into the house. I finished my coffee and sat down on the sofa to wait for Edward.

A few minutes later he came in and sat down next to me without a word. He looked sad and drawn and I reached out immediately and slid my arm around him. He moved closer and rested his head against my shoulder.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm just going to miss them, that's all."

"I'm sorry."

"It was the best solution. What did Jasper say to you?"

"Nothing I don't already know," I said truthfully. "He just wanted to know you'll be ok while he's gone."

I stayed a couple hours until my wrist was healed and by then I was finding it difficult to suppress my yawns. It had been a long day and much as I didn't want to tear myself away from Edward, I knew I should get home. I hadn't even thought to call Dad and remembering that made me realise I had lost my phone. It had been in my pants pocket when I phased. However, when I mentioned it to Edward, it turned out he had picked up the phone and put it in his own pocket for safe keeping. It had sustained a few scratches, but other than that it was fine.

I realised the Rabbit was still parked at the side of the house where I had left it before we went looking for Jasper and I almost - not quite, but almost - leaned over to kiss Edward goodbye before I got in the car. I gave his hand a squeeze instead, hoping he hadn't noticed anything and then drove home slowly. I could hardly believe that we had only left Houston that morning. It seemed days ago; days since I kissed him.

"Shit," I muttered aloud. What was it with this sudden desire to kiss him? We were supposed to be friends, weren't we? I had been pretty sure that was all it would be, at least for the forseeable future. I hadn't even thought about it when I woke up, I had just done it. Even in the split second before he freaked out I had noticed the soft coolness of his lips and I shivered now as I remembered it. I wanted to do it again. I wanted to hold him and kiss him.

"Fuck, no!" I growled. It was too soon. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Only hours ago I told him I didn't even think about him like that and now I was thinking about him _exactly _like that. He didn't want it either and I knew that, so why wish for it? Why did I suddenly want to kiss a boy? I had thought a wolf was supposed to go through the stages of Imprinting according to what the Imprint wanted, but here I was thinking way past the close friends stage and he didn't want it.

The confused jumble of thoughts whirled around and around in my head until I got home and forgot about it while I talked to Dad about what had happened. Sam had already spoken to him and he was relieved that disaster had been averted and that the treaty remained intact. I kept him company until I could no longer keep my eyes open and then went to bed, but as I began to drift into sleep, the last thought in my head was how Edward felt lying in my arms in the motel in Houston. I ached to do that again, to feel the coldness of his skin against mine where our legs and arms and cheeks touched.

I woke to the sound of my phone ringing and groped blindly for it on the bed table as I struggled to open my eyes. Squinting at the time I noticed it was eight o'clock. I had overslept - I intended to be in the garage by now. I peered at the screen on the phone and my heart skipped.

'Edward Calling.'

"Hey." My voice was rough from sleep and I cleared my throat.

"Hey, Jacob. I was just calling to see how your wrist is."

"Um..." I flexed my hand and arm. It had still been stiff the night before, but now it was back to normal. "It's fine. Completely healed. I'm going to work soon; I should have been there now."

"Oh, sorry, I don't want to hold you up," he said.

"You're not, it's ok, I'm glad you called," I babbled. "Can I see you later?"

"Of course. You can come over again if you want. Better than creeping around in the forest."

"Huh, yeah," I laughed. "I'll come over after dinner."

I ended the call, took a shower and dressed and remembered to throw Emmett's pants into the washing machine. Dad promised to put them in the dryer when the cycle finished and then put them in a plastic bag so I wouldn't have to touch them and make them smell of dog again. I gulped down some breakfast and then went over to the garage to get to work.

There was nothing actually booked in since I had been away, but I tidied the place up and tinkered with the Rabbit until Charlie Swan arrived in his truck and asked me to service it. He went into the house to talk to Dad while I did the job and later one of our neighbours came over to get a hole in his exhaust fixed. Ordinarily the work would have kept me occupied and my mind busy, but I was finding it impossible to concentrate completely. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward; kissing Edward.

By the time I finished for the day and went back to the house to shower again and make dinner for Dad and me, I was frustrated with myself and itching to abandon the idea of eating and race over to the Cullens'. Dad picked up on my mood as I shoved my food around the plate and forced down each bite and asked me if it was anything to do with Edward.

"Yeah, what else?" I mumbled. "I'm going over to see him as soon as I'm done eating."

"Carlisle doesn't mind you being there?"

"Not now, he said I can visit as often as I want. Makes things easier, Edward can hardly come over here." I gave up trying to eat. "Forget that he's a vampire - does it bother you that I'm stuck with a guy?"

"Does it bother you?" asked Dad.

"When I'm with him, no. When I'm not, yes, because I think too much and I don't want to be more than friends; nor does he. Is it going to change whether I want it to or not?"

"Jacob, if it does change, it won't just suddenly hit you between the eyes one day. It'll be gradual and you'll get used to it; then it won't seem like it's something you don't want any more. If he doesn't want the same thing you do, then I don't know. I'm guessing you'll get used to the fact that it's not going to progress. And to answer your question, no, it doesn't bother me. Are you eating that?"

"No, I'm done."

I got up and took my plate away, shoving my feet into my boots in the kitchen. In five minutes I was in the Rabbit and on the road, my pulse racing and my damp palms slipping on the wheel. I was nervous and excited and I hoped that somehow I would be able to keep it to myself when I was with Edward. In less than twenty-four hours I felt like my feelings had taken a leap forward to something more intense than they had been when I left him and it scared me in case I let slip and he hated it.

As was often the case, I worried too much about nothing. Emmett let me in when I arrived and was surprised and grateful to find his sweats in the bag, smelling of honeysuckle fabric softener instead of wet dog. He told me Edward was in his room and I should go on up. I took my boots off and jogged up the stairs, wiping my hands on my pants legs, tapped on the door and opened it and as soon as I saw him I stopped worrying. It was as if a blanket of calm had settled over me and my heartrate slowed just as it had in the beginning when I had been feeling the agony of being apart from him and then I got near him and it settled down.

Edward was sprawling on his back on the sofa wearing jeans and a t-shirt, watching something on the television, his copper hair as chaotic as always and his eyes swirling gold.

"Jacob!" He started to sit up immediately.

"Don't get up. What are you watching?" I pushed the door closed and sat down on the carpet beside the sofa.

"'Alien'. It only just started; we can do something else if you want."

"No, 'Alien' is fine, I only saw it once. I borrowed it from one of my sisters when I was about fourteen; Dad went mad. I don't know what bothered him so much about an 'R' rated movie when he knew there was a reasonable chance I'd turn into a wolf and end up fighting vampires; present company excepted."

Edward smirked. "It's not that long since we were fighting."

"Yeah, you threw me against my car for kissing Bella," I remembered.

"You only had yourself to blame. It wasn't even her you wanted to kiss."

"I told you, I wasn't thinking about that, certainly not then and not in Houston either," I protested, surprised that he would even bring it up again and not at all comfortable about discussing it given the thoughts I had been having.

"But you do now sometimes."

"Damnit, I thought you kept out of my head," I grumbled.

"I do mostly, but I guess I was in everybody's heads yesterday...until you left."

When I left I had almost kissed him right before I got in the car and then cursed myself for it and squeezed his hand instead. Shit.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want," I said awkwardly.

"I know, but you do think about me...like that."

"I honestly don't know what I want," I sighed. "I've never been in a situation like this. I never even considered being with a guy; the only person I ever had feelings for of any kind, was Bella."

"Me too," Edward said, pausing the movie. "Tell me more about how Imprinting works. I mean, how do things develop?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes."

"It's said to go through four stages. It takes account of the fact that occasionally wolves have been known to Imprint on children, so in those cases the wolf takes on the role of an older brother and protector. The first stage is only appropriate if it does involve a child."

"Why would an Imprint happen on a child?"

"Because the wolf recognises that person as its future mate; as someone who will either give it the best opportunity of reproducing or be most suitable to give it encouragement and strength."

"Uh huh," Edward prompted.

"The second stage - or first stage if both parties are over sixteen - is close friends. So that's where we are; and where we'll stay."

"What are the other two stages?"

"You don't need to know that, it's not relevant."

"I still want to know."

"Are you determined to embarrass me?" I sighed.

"No, I'm curious."

"Three is intimate friends which is where the wolf's feelings turn into romantic ones and four is sexual. Can we change the subject now?" His eyes were fixed on me and I knew I was rapidly turning red.

"I don't know if I can ever be what you want," Edward said softly.

"You are what I want. What we are, is what I want. Move over."

He shifted over against the back of the couch and I pulled myself off the floor and stretched out on the free half of the cushions. I slid my arm under his neck and he snuggled against me, resting his hand on my chest.

"I know you like this, I just won't do anything more," I said.

"Mmm, that's ok with me."

Edward found the remote control and started the movie again, then placed his hand back on my chest over my heart. I covered it with my free hand and relaxed as we began to watch Sigourney Weaver's adventures and I felt happy - really happy at last. But I still wanted to kiss him.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The next month passed relatively peacefully for everyone concerned. I worked all week in the garage, spreading the word that I was open for business full time. I had managed to convince Dad that if I made a go of it and had it running well enough by the time school started, he would register the business properly and let me quit school, which was enough of an incentive to put one hundred per cent effort into it.

Things returned to almost normal with the pack. Sam and Jared kept Paul away from me for a week, but when I did eventually run into him, he apologised for breaking my wrist and avoided the subject of the Cullens as we talked for ten minutes. Although we had gotten along ok since I joined the pack, there had always been an awkward competitiveness between us and I knew it wasn't likely to get better with him hating my Imprint. Embry, Quil and Seth frequently came over to hang out at the garage and help out or just talk to me and all of them seemed to have got used to me being with Edward at last. Seth often teased me about 'dating' him and wanted to know if he tasted like the vampires we killed, not believing me when I said I didn't know.

There was no visit, or even communication from the Volturi. Carlisle made an attempt to get in touch with them through contacts he had in Italy, but after their headquarters burned down with several of them in it and a good number of the remainder had been killed, the rest seemed to have vanished. Carlisle wasn't under any illusion that they wouldn't be heard from again and thought they were probably increasing their numbers and finding a new location to operate from. At least Jasper's antics hadn't brought them to Washington and with him now hidden away in Alaska keeping a low profile there was no reason to suspect they might make an appearance. Carlisle took the Lear jet to visit Esme and the others every two or three weeks for a weekend so at least the couple did get to spend time together.

I saw Edward every evening, usually at the Cullens' house although sometimes we hunted together and when I finished in the garage at lunchtime on Saturdays, I spent the rest of the weekend with him, including staying the night. On Sundays we would often go out somewhere, whether it was for a drive or just to fool around in the meadow, taking a portable CD player and sprawling in the grass talking and cuddling. He never seemed to have any problem being in my arms and I remembered him saying he longed for physical contact and Jasper telling me he needed somebody like I needed to breathe. We would spend hours holding each other, sometimes not even talking, his head resting on my chest as he listened to my heartbeat.

After the first two weeks, a bed had appeared in Edward's room as if by magic, his reasoning being that I couldn't possibly be comfortable sleeping on the sofa when I stayed over Saturdays. I was plenty comfortable, especially since the lack of room meant he usually draped himself over me, but it did make for some embarrassing moments when I woke with my morning wood jabbing him and I had to exit quickly into the en suite to deal with it. He never said anything, but I was always mortified by it.

My feelings didn't develop any further than they already had and I was relieved that things seemed to have slowed down. I saw him as often as I wanted and my wolf was clearly satisfied so long as it was in his company at every opportunity, but it was still a struggle to stop myself thinking about kissing him all the time. When he talked I would find myself staring at his mouth, watching the way his lips and tongue formed the words, imagining them caressing mine instead of the air. I couldn't seem to push those thoughts aside and when I lay in bed alone at night, I would frequently close my eyes and imagine leaning over to kiss him, only this time he would respond instead of flying across the room in horror. A dozen times I almost gave it a try when I was with him, but I always restrained myself, dreading that I might make things uncomfortable between us again.

It was the last Sunday in August and our usual trip out was spoiled due to the unusual and unrelenting sunshine. There wasn't a cloud in the blue sky and as I looked out of Edward's bedroom window, I realised before I Imprinted on him I would have been down on the beach, swimming or surfing, wrestling with the other guys. Even before the pack I would have been spending most of my time with Embry and Quil. Obviously I still saw them, but it wasn't the same as it had been. I wanted –_needed_- to be with Edward every minute I could and was constantly thinking about him when we were apart.

I turned away from the window as the CD we were listening to ended and watched Edward scanning the rows of discs, considering what to play next.

"What do you fancy?" he asked, glancing at me and grinning.

"Um..." I immediately looked at his lips; I couldn't help myself. They were almost red in colour, in stark contrast to his white face and I knew from that brief brush of mine against them in Houston that they were cool and soft...damnit. "I don't mind, anything," I said.

"Every time you say that and I pick something, you don't like it," he protested.

"Play something summery."

"Summery? What sort of word is that?" snorted Edward. "Summery...ok, here's something summery." He selected a disc and slid it into the music system. A moment later a tune with a fast beat started and I frowned as I tried to place it. I'd heard it before somewhere - it was awful.

"What the hell is that?"

"The Beach Boys. 'I don't mind, anything'," Edward mimicked. "So shut up and enjoy."

"Fine, anything to please my Imprint," I sighed.

"I'm going to remember that every time you complain about my choice of music or movies."

He sat down on the bed and leaned back against the wall beneath the window, beginning to sing along with the song under his breath. My eyes slid to his mouth again and watched his lips moving, the tip of his tongue emerging occasionally to moisten them. I imagined it sliding out of his mouth to touch my lips and shivered slightly. My pulse sped up and I pictured him turning towards me and leaning over to press his lips to mine. Fuck, what if he was reading my thoughts? He didn't do that often any more, usually only if I asked him to, but it would be just my luck if...

"You're looking at me as if you want to take a bite out of me," he said, his gaze sliding sideways until he met my eyes.

"That's a pretty ironic comment, coming from a vampire," I said, horrified and doing my best to stay calm. My heart had almost stopped.

Edward grinned, dropping his eyes away from mine suddenly in a surprisingly coy way. "You still keep thinking about kissing me."

"Well, I haven't done it, have I? What are you doing snooping around my head again anyway?" If only the floor would open up and swallow me. I gulped and looked away too.

"I'm not in your head, you look at my mouth every time I say something; I'm not an expert in body language, but that says you're thinking about kissing."

I was at least partially relieved, but I felt my face beginning to turn red and mentally cursed him for bringing the subject up again. However, somehow things were different and I felt confused. He was teasing me and not in a discouraging way. Would he react differently if I tried it again? Was he trying to suggest I should try it again? I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye and noticed his eyes, golden and sparkling, watching me again. I didn't want to just grab him and dive in, but I didn't really know how to go about it. I was hardly an expert in this kind of stuff. Maybe just tease him back subtly and see what happened.

"You know you wrecked the mood completely; or maybe that was your intention," I snorted, hoping I sounded more casual than I felt.

"No, I don't think it was."

"So do you want me to kiss you or not?" I blurted. Great, Jacob. What happened to subtlety?

"Hell, Jacob, you're really not very romantic," Edward teased back. Maybe I should just joke some more.

"Oh, you like romance? Should I try quoting 'Romeo and Juliet' then? How does that line go? _Edward, Edward, wherefore art thou Edward..."_

"You jerk," Edward scoffed, giving me a shove. His playful push threw me off the edge of the bed and I landed on my butt on the floor with a thud and a grunt of surprise.

"Yes or no? I'm not coming near you if you're gonna throw me across the room," I grinned, scrambling to my feet. He still wasn't trying to put an end to what I supposed could only be described as flirting and my heart was racing again, almost making me breathless.

Edward dropped his eyes and his lips curved up at the corners into an astonishingly cute-looking shy smile. I stepped closer to him, stopping with my feet one either side of his. He didn't look up and I put one hand under his chin to tip his head back. He made no attempt to move away or stop me and his eyes met mine for a second before he closed them as I bent towards him. It was the second time our lips had met, but previously he had put a stop to it so fast that I had barely felt them touch. This time my lips caressed his for maybe three whole seconds before it was my turn to jerk away, startled. My lips seemed to tingle where they clung to the coldness of his, goosebumps broke out down my spine and my heart stuttered in shock and then sped up even more, sending blood rushing to my groin.

_'Fuck!' _I thought as I leaped away from him. '_If that's just a kiss, hell knows what it would be like ifwe ever had sex! I did _not _just think that!'_

I glanced at Edward anxiously, mortified that he might have picked up that thought. Then I looked down and was relieved that my t-shirt hanging outside of my pants was long enough to cover my crotch. I was about half hard and it would have been obvious in the thin loose-fitting cargo pants. I lifted my eyes to his face again and found him looking back at me worriedly. His next words told me he hadn't heard my thoughts.

"Change your mind?"

"No." I went to sit down beside him, raised my hand to his face and turned him more towards me before I touched my lips to his again. This time they parted as mine caressed them tentatively. Goosebumps sprang up on the back of my neck and I shivered and slid my free arm around him, my hand slipping from his cheek to his neck, fingers touching his silky hair. He placed his hand on my chest and I let my tongue slide out just enough to tease the underside of his upper lip, drawing a soft moan from him that went straight to my cock. My erection strained against my cotton shorts and I felt dampness as I began to leak pre-cum. I let out a groan of my own as our lips continued to cling and move against each other, but I pulled my tongue back into my mouth and kept it there, too close to losing control of myself to risk anything more.

I noticed everything, all of my senses heightened to the awareness I usually only felt in wolf form. I could hear my own heart beating as if it were running a race, my breathing heavier and louder than usual and another barely audible whimper from Edward. I felt every point where we touched - his hand on my chest, other arm around my back, my hand in his hair, the cold, moist softness of his mouth, shivers running down my back and making my hair stand on end. I could taste and smell him, sweet and fresh, tantalising and arousing me even more. I had to stop; it was more than I could handle. I pulled my mouth away from his and turned my face into his neck, trying to slow my breathing and praying I wouldn't come in my pants. His fingers stroked the back of my neck and his lips brushed against my ear as he spoke.

"That was...intense."

"Yeah." I wondered if he was as hard as I was; if he was struggling to regain some control; if his underwear was wet around the head of his cock where he had leaked. '_Oh, God. I can't think like 's not going to let me do anything anyway.'_

I drew back reluctantly, allowing my lips to touch his lightly once more before I backed away and rested against the pillows, my knees drawn up to hide the bulge in my pants. Edward looked at me for a moment and then smiled before he got up to change the CD. Somehow it had come to the end already and I watched in puzzlement as he scanned the titles to select another disc. The album had to have been at least forty-five minutes long and it had only been on the first song when we began kissing. How had that much time passed? No wonder my balls were aching. I straightened up again.

"Wait, don't put another one on. I have a better idea," I said. I needed to get us out of his room and do something else or I wouldn't be able to stop myself kissing him again and then there would be no hope of me controlling myself. I would end up an embarrassingly sticky mess and I probably wouldn't be able to keep it from him. He knew when I woke up even before my breathing changed, for Christ's sake. He would certainly notice if I had an orgasm.

"Ok, what do you want to do?"

"I want you to play me something on the piano," I said. He had managed to avoid it for weeks, making a different excuse each time the subject came up and I knew it was because he was shy about playing in front of people; he had said as much. "Come on, please? You keep saying 'another time'. I heard you once already anyway, it's no different."

"Except I'll know this time."

"It's not like I'm some random stranger; I'm going to be around for the rest of my life, Edward," I reminded him.

"The rest of your life is a long time," he said.

"Imprints don't just wear out, you know, you're stuck with me." I hauled myself off the bed, making sure my t-shirt covered the front of my pants, although mercifully my erection was beginning to subside. "Anyway, it's more than just the Imprint now, I'm not just with you because I don't have a choice." I didn't know why I added that, but I wanted to make sure he knew I was no longer going along with something I was helpless against; that I had real feelings for him and had done for weeks.

"I know," he said quietly and then walked to the door. "Alright, look, I'll play one piece to shut you up, is that ok?"

"That's all I'm asking for," I smirked.

We headed down to the music room and I took a seat at the opposite side of the room from the piano, guessing he wouldn't want me breathing down his neck. There was no sign of Emmett and Rosalie and I knew Carlisle was at the hospital. It was just us and I watched as Edward lifted the lid which covered the piano keys and seated himself on the long bench in front of it.

"What should I play?"

"Anything. What's your favourite thing to play?"

"Clair de Lune. It's a classical piece."

"Will you play that, then?" I asked.

He nodded and placed his fingers over the keys. After a moment's hesitation he began to play from memory, his eyes half closed, fingers stroking the keys, moving fluidly from one to the next as if he didn't even need to think about what he was doing. I watched entranced until the piece ended and he lowered his hands to rest on his thighs. He didn't look at me and I got up and crossed the room quickly, sitting down astride the long seat next to him.

"You're amazing," I said.

"I wouldn't go that far," he smiled.

"Don't be so modest. Will you play one more? Please?"

"One more," he relented after a moment. "And that's it."

He stretched his fingers out and cracked his knuckles, making me flinch, then began to play again, a lively piece which I recognised immediately as 'Surfin' USA'. I grinned and watched his fingers flying over the keys, fascinated by his talent. I knew nothing about playing the piano, but I would have been willing to bet he was a natural and that most people couldn't have come close, even with a hundred years of practise. When the song ended he closed the lid firmly over the keys.

"Are you happy now?"

"Yeah. I could even get to like the Beach Boys if you play them rather than make me endure the CD."

We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with Emmett and Rosalie in one of the lounges. I played against Emmett on a new racing game he had bought and after a while Edward disappeared into the kitchen to make me some dinner. Rosalie put up with us for a couple of hours and then stormed off upstairs, complaining that the smell of dog was making her gag and she couldn't understand Emmett being able to stomach it.

"I don't understand how you stomach her," I blurted and then hoped I hadn't offended him, but he merely laughed.

"That's easy, she's insatiable in the sack."

"I don't think she'd be happy you told me that," I grinned.

"No, probably not, but she's not happy about most things. It's like she's got permanent PMS. Joking aside, mostly she's nice to me. I like the bossy type."

"She just doesn't like dogs."

"Ignore her. We're not here next weekend anyway, we're going up to Alaska with Carlisle. You and Edward get the house to yourselves."

My pulse immediately sped up again, but I tried not to let myself get excited. It wasn't as if anything would happen. Except maybe for some more of those mind-blowing kisses.

I did kiss him again when I left. He came outside to see me off and we stood by the Rabbit, looking at each other uncertainly for a moment before I slid my arms around him and pressed my lips to his. We had mere seconds before Rosalie was calling insults out of one of the upstairs windows and I backed away from him in annoyance.

"Go to hell, Rose!" Edward barked. She slammed the window closed and he looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, I'll see you tomorrow." I brushed my lips against his cheek and got in the car.

By the time I got into bed that night, I was desperate for some alone time. I couldn't stop thinking about how it had felt when I kissed Edward and I managed to ignore my erection for about a minute before I slid my hand down and grasped it. It was the first time I had jerked off over him and once I started, I found myself more aroused than I'd ever been in my life. My cock throbbed eagerly in my hand as I thought about his lips on mine, my hand in his hair, imagined myself unfastening his shirt and pulling my t-shirt off, feeling his cold skin against mine as we pressed closer to each other. I would have carried the fantasy on further, but I came before I got as far as unzipping his pants and I grabbed my discarded shorts to wipe up the mess, panting and sweating and laughing at myself for having the fastest jerk-off session since I'd been about thirteen. God help me if I ever got Edward to touch my cock - I would lose it in about ten seconds.

Monday night when I drove over to the Cullens', my stomach fluttering with excitement and my heart pounding, trying to think of something revolting so as not to get there with a hard-on, I arrived to find Edward about to go out hunting. He was awkward and fidgety, waiting for me to arrive, but not keen to spend any time talking. My heart sank and I made no attempt to hug or kiss him. It seemed as if he already regretted what had happened and I immediately didn't know what to say to him. I phased and hunted with him, but we didn't really communicate until we were heading slowly back to the house.

_'You regret it, don't you?' _I thought. He didn't make any sign that he had heard me and I nudged him with my muzzle as we walked, thinking the same thing again.

"Not exactly." He sighed heavily. "I just...I like being...close with you, but the past few weeks I hadn't really been thinking about where it might go. I know that's pretty stupid and naive and then yesterday I encouraged you..." He paused and dragged a hand through his hair. "I wanted you to kiss me."

_'But you thought about it later and freaked out.'_

"You're a boy," Edward blurted helplessly.

_'Yeah, last time I looked. Sorry.'_

"I can't do this. It's not right."

_'So you're not comfortable with being gay?'_

"I'm not!" He fled and before I could even break into a run to keep up, he was gone and seconds later I heard the house door slam, even from hundreds of yards away.

_'Fuck!' _I cursed and snarled angrily. If he had stuck around I would have told him it was ok, that I wouldn't expect anything from him that made him uncomfortable, however much it might frustrate me to say it. I realised that considering only a short time ago I had been horrified about being with a boy myself, somehow my feelings had changed without me noticing, just like Dad had told me they would.

I hovered amongst the trees, gradually working my way closer to the house. I didn't think it would be a good idea to follow him and try to make him talk to me. He obviously needed to be away from me for a little while, but I waited another hour or so just in case, my mind a turmoil. Eventually I padded quietly out of the trees towards the Rabbit, phased and pulled on the clothes I had left on the driver's seat. A few minutes later I was driving home, feeling lower than I had in a long time. Yesterday had been amazing and now...it seemed we had taken a huge step backwards and I was crushed.

That night when I went to my room, the last thing I thought of was how much Edward excited me. I wasn't reaching for my cock, going over and over our kisses in my head. I kept hearing his words in my head, his confusion and regret and I wondered if friends was all we would ever be. Would he come around to the idea the way I had, or would he reject me again from now on? I closed my eyes, deciding to try to sleep, surprised to feel hot tears squeezing from beneath the lids and sliding down my cheeks. I didn't want to go back to being just friends; it was too late for me. I was in love with him.


	18. Chapter 18

**As always, thank you to all my loyal readers, and thank you for the great reviews!**

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

When I woke I felt the familiar pain of separation from Edward. I wanted to race straight over to his house to see him, but I knew I couldn't do that. I had to be at work in an hour and he probably wouldn't want to see me anyway. I thought about calling him to at least hear his voice, but I knew that if he didn't answer I would assume he was ignoring me and feel even worse. I forgot about the fact that he would need to see me too and would begin to feel physical discomfort without me. All I could think of was that he regretted kissing me and would want to keep his distance. I showered and dressed, my chest aching and my mind replaying the weekend's events in my head until I didn't know what to do with myself. The day dragged with hardly any work in, but I still had to stay there until six, just in case. By the time I finished I felt sick with the combination of pain and misery and I skipped dinner, showered again and ten minutes later I was driving over to the Cullens'.

Rosalie opened the door, much to my dismay, and gave me one of her usual sneering looks.

"Is Edward here?" I asked.

"No."

My heart sank. "Do you know when he'll be back?"

"No idea."

"Can I wait?"

"Rose, what are you doing? Invite the poor guy in, will you?" Emmett called out suddenly, his head appearing around one of the lounge doors. "Jake, get in here!"

Relieved, I stepped past Rosalie and went to join Emmett. He was watching a programme about motorcycle racing and lowered the volume as I sat down on the sofa opposite him.

"You look like hell," he said.

"Yeah, thanks, Emmett."

"Pleasure. Come on, spill. What's he done?"

"Nothing, I'm ok," I lied.

"Sure about that?"

"Uh...Emmett...it's not really anything I can talk with you about."

"Why not? How'd you know unless you try? I know something happened; Edward looks about as sick as you and he won't talk, as usual."

"He wouldn't like me to talk about him."

"He won't find out from me."

I stared at him. Edward could find out anything he wanted in seconds if he felt like it. Emmett just grinned.

"He never bothers reading my mind, he says there's nothing in there worth looking at." He laughed now. "You got a big brother, Jake?"

"No, only sisters."

"So make use of me, then. I'm Edward's, it makes sense that I could be yours too."

"Aren't you younger than him?" I prevaricated. Emmett had always seemed like a big kid to me.

"Depends how you look at it. I was born in 1915 so in years, yes, I'm younger, but I wasn't changed until 1935 so technically I'm three years older then him. So, you gonna talk or what?"

"I don't really know what to say."

"How about I hazard a guess. You want to get physical and he won't put out."

"Oh, God." I flushed immediately and avoided his eyes. Edward would hate me talking about this. _I_ hated talking about it.

"Yeah, I'm right. Well, you have two problems, maybe three, I'm not sure. It's only a couple months since Bella..."

"We talked about that a while ago," I interrupted. Bella being a problem wasn't even something I had considered. "He said after Volterra when we almost died, the pain he felt gradually seemed to slip away. It might have had something to do with the effect the pull of the Imprint was having on him."

"Ok," Emmett nodded. "So, there's the marriage thing..."

"I know about that and I respect his thoughts on it," I said. I did, but I hadn't dwelled on the fact that I was probably never going to get very far with him. It hadn't been an issue up to now and I doubted marriage was something we could do anyway. There were a dozen reasons why not in my head and I hadn't bothered to try to solve any of them, not having looked that far into the future before.

"Fair enough. The other one is probably the guy thing. Did something happen over the weekend?"

"Yes, I kissed him," I blurted out and then grimaced. Emmett rolled his eyes and smirked.

"Seems to me like he was ok with things until that happened. Look, me and Edward come from the same time period. I moved into the Twenty-First Century pretty quick, but he's kinda stuck in 1918 in some ways. He still lives by his parents' values and I'm guessing that in his life before he was changed his parents and friends and other people he knew probably frowned on guys being together or pretended it didn't exist so as to not offend their sensibilities."

"Great," I muttered.

"You just need to make him see that a lot of people don't care any more and if they do, fuck 'em. It's yours and his business, not anybody else's. Get him to talk, he seems to tell you stuff that he won't normally talk about."

I nodded. What Emmett said made a lot of sense, but it didn't really make me feel any better. What if Edward never came around to the idea of us being together properly? Now I had kissed him once, I was never going to forget how amazing it felt, or stop longing for it.

"Thanks," I said. "So where is he?"

"He went hunting hours ago, he'll probably be back soon. He'll know you'll want to see him."

"Yeah, maybe that's why he's out," I sighed.

"He'll be back. He gets antsy when he doesn't see you for a while, like he's missing a limb or something."

That made me smile and I relaxed a little and tried to pay attention to the programme as Emmett turned the TV volume back up. I kept hearing sounds from outside the room and looking at the door in the hopes that Edward would appear, but it seemed to be just Rosalie banging around in a temper as usual. I grew more anxious again as thirty minutes passed and then suddenly I glanced to my right and he was standing there in the doorway.

"Edward!"

"Jacob. I'm sorry you had to wait."

He chewed his lip and dragged a hand through his hair. I got to my feet to go to him, noticing his eyes were black and his skin paler than usual. He didn't speak until we got to his room and then he sat down on one end of the bed, leaning against the wall and fidgeting nervously. I sat at the other end, not wanting to crowd him.

"Emmett told me you were hunting," I said.

"Yes."

"You're still thirsty."

"I didn't feel like it." He raked both hands through his hair and groaned. "I'm sorry about...everything."

I almost said that it was ok and that it didn't matter, but it _did_ matter. I cried myself to sleep, for God's sake and I wanted to get over this. "What happened?" I asked.

"I guess I just...panicked."

"Do you want to go back to the way things were before...?"

"No." He shook his head slowly and I was slightly encouraged. A minute or two passed before he spoke again and he was clearly struggling to work out what to say. I stayed quiet and didn't look at him until he was ready to continue.

"I suppose over the last few weeks I convinced myself we were always going to be just friends and I wouldn't have to worry about anything else. I like being close to you; I _need _it. When you started wanting more out of it, I ignored it for a while and told myself it would go away although I wasn't really convinced, I think I was just in denial or something. Then about a week ago I began to wonder if I might actually like you kissing me. I didn't think you would try it again after Houston, that's why I...joked around and teased you to...um...force the issue, I guess. " He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. I wouldn't have been surprised to see a blush colouring his cheeks if he had been capable of it.

"I know you think I regret it, but I don't," he said barely above a whisper. "It just made me face things I wasn't ready to think about. In my time, being with a boy wasn't even something that was talked about. I was pretty naive and sheltered, it never even crossed my mind that men could want each other until much later. Then the only times I did hear things, it was considered shameful and disgusting."

"Things are different now," I said. "Guys hold hands in the street, live together, even get married in some states. I know there's still prejudice, but a lot of people don't care."

"I know, I don't walk around with my eyes shut, but I can't stop wondering what my parents would have thought of me; if they would have been ashamed. I wonder if they're somewhere in Heaven, watching me and hating what I'm doing."

"Tell me about them," I said softly.

"What?" His eyes flew to my face in surprise.

"Your parents. What were they like?"

"My father was a lawyer; very well respected in Chicago. He ran his own law firm. He was a busy man and we weren't close. He gave my mother and me everything we could possibly want - a beautiful house, clothes and jewellery for her, toys for me when I was a child and a car as soon as I was old enough; an Oakland Speedster - my friends were green with envy. We went on vacation every year and other than the Christmas holidays, that was the only time I really got much attention from him. He was proud of me - of my achievements at school, the piano, but he didn't have time to spend with me. He thought it was more important to provide for us and to make sure I could have a good future.

"My mother was the sweetest person you could meet; similar to Esme actually, but more delicate. She doted on me and spoiled me. She was always there, taking care of me, welcoming my friends, making meals for us. We had this huge house with servants, but she wouldn't hire a cook because she said it gave her pleasure to cook for Father and me and she didn't want to give that up, even though her friends thought it was beneath her and that she shouldn't be getting her hands dirty, so to speak."

He had told me parts of this before - about his father being a lawyer and having a lot of money - but only in brief. I knew they had both died of influenza before he was changed.

"If there really is a Heaven and they can see you, what do you think they would have thought about you being a vampire?" I asked.

"My mother knew." He smiled sadly.

"She _knew?"_ I gasped.

"Yes, Father had already passed and she was very sick. Carlisle was tending her and me and she discovered what he was; I don't know how exactly, he's never told me, but she knew and she begged him to save me; to change me.

"When I left Carlisle a few years later and went rogue, I wasn't really thinking about anything. I hated my existence and I thought I was doing some good, ridding the city of evil. I know I told you that before. But I didn't tell you I thought I had no other reason to go on. The reason I went back to Carlisle was that I came to my senses and realised that if my parents really could see me, they would be horrified that I was playing God like that. I got myself together and I visited the plot where they were buried and begged forgiveness. I don't know if they heard me or listened, but I stopped feeling bad about it."

"Edward, if they really were watching over you then, they still will be," I said. "They'll also have witnessed the changing times since you became a vampire, the same way you have. Seriously, if your mother was here right now and you told her you wanted to be with me, what do you think she would say?"

"I don't know. Probably that...she loved me and she only wanted me to be happy."

"What about your dad? Suppose he was here in 2010 running his law firm from a high-rise in PA, for example? Do you think he would disown you? Tell his colleagues and clients he didn't have a son to save himself any embarrassment?"

"No!" Edward exclaimed. "He wasn't cold or cruel."

"You know, you pretty much fixed the problem yourself by what you just said," I pointed out. "If they can still see what you're doing from 'the other side' or wherever they are, they'll be looking at you in a modern world, not in the one you were born in. They wouldn't want you to carry on endlessly, stuck at seventeen, being alone rather than having something you want, even if they might have preferred you to have something else."

"You really think that?" His black eyes lifted to meet mine again, a frown drawing his brows together above them.

"Yeah, I do. And Edward, I'm not just saying that because I want you."

"I know." He licked his lips. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

I moved part way across the bed towards him, just far enough so that I could reach his hand. He slid his into it quickly and squeezed, but he didn't relax. His nails dug into the back of my hand and he cleared his throat and gulped. I recognised it well enough by now.

"You're thirsty," I said.

"I'm ok. Carlisle will have some supplies in the surgery."

"I thought they were for emergencies." I pulled my hand free and got up. "Let's go hunting."

"Don't you have to get home at a decent hour?"

"Not tonight." I got my phone out and tapped out a text to Dad to let him know I would be late. I knew he would be pissed and I left the phone on Edward's bed table afterwards so I wouldn't see the reply until we returned. There wouldn't be much Dad could do about it then.

"Thanks," Edward said.

We went outside and I slipped out of my clothes in the darkness around the side of the house, then phased quickly and joined Edward. We raced away into the trees, heading north towards the mountains. Edward always preferred that area, saying that the blood of carnivores such as mountain lions and bears tasted a whole lot better than that of the creatures which ate grass and plants.

We didn't really communicate as we hunted. I suspected Edward probably needed some time to think about the things we talked about and I kept my thoughts to myself, not sending any his way until he actually spoke to me, hours later as we headed back to the house.

"Are you alright, Jacob?"

_"I'm fine." _I nudged his arm with my muzzle and was surprised and pleased when he draped an arm over my neck and scratched my ear. _"I didn't want to bombard you with the crap that's in my head; I thought you'd want to think about things."_

"You know me too well. You seem to pay attention to every little thing, to always think about what I need. I guess there's something to be said for Imprinting." He grinned and stroked the top of my head.

_"It's not just because of the Imprint, I care about you," _I thought, being careful of how I worded what I was telling him. It would be too easy to let slip what I had realised as I lay in bed the night before and I didn't think he was ready to hear that yet.

"I know," he murmured.

By the time we reached the house, dawn was already approaching and I knew I would have to leave, much as I would rather have stayed until it was time for me to go back to work. Edward flew up to his room to get my phone while I phased back and dressed and when I checked the messages there were two from Dad, the first telling me I saw enough of Edward without staying out late on work nights. The second sent at eleven o'clock, sounded angrier, demanding that I get home immediately.

"Shit," I muttered. "He's really pissed."

"I'm sorry," Edward said.

"Don't be, I wanted to stay with you. I better go now though."

I opened the door of the Rabbit and then turned back to give him a hug. As soon as I drew him towards me, he slid his arms around me and pressed his face into my neck. I shivered as his cold lips touched my skin just below my ear and I ran one hand up his back, my fingers touching his neck and stroking through his hair. I held him like that for a moment and then began to let go, but to my surprise as I took a step back he gripped the front of my shirt and his free hand rose to touch my face. His eyes were lowered as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine and a shiver ran through my body. I had expected him to want to keep his distance for a while, but although it was only the briefest touch before he drew back, it was still a kiss. I moved forward myself, turning my head to place an equally small kiss on his jaw before I backed away and got into the car, my heart racing.

I was home in ten minutes and I tiptoed into the house, hoping Dad wasn't still up and ready to jump down my neck, but he had clearly gone to bed and I did the same. I shed my clothes quickly and dived under the comforter, wishing I was still with Edward, lying down to sleep in his huge bed with his body resting against mine. I imagined it now and despite everything that had happened in the last couple of days, my thoughts quickly began to get away from me.

I pictured myself lying on my side facing him, our arms around each other, lips just touching. I was wearing only shorts and Edward had on his customary shorts and t-shirt. I drew him closer against me, my lips caressing his, my hand sliding under the back of his t-shirt to reach more of his cold skin. I tentatively tried deepening the kiss, slipping my tongue into his mouth to explore, tasting his sweetness, thrilled when he responded immediately, kissing me back harder, his hands moving over my back. I rapidly grew hard, both in reality and in my daydream and I slid my hand down to touch myself as in my mind, my cock nudged against Edward's stomach. He was hard too and I imagined us grinding against each other as we kissed, our covered erections rubbing together.

"Oh, fuck," I whispered, kicking the bed covers off as I moved my hand faster. I was aching and I reached down to tug on my balls with my free hand, wanting to make myself last at least a little while longer. The scene in my head changed to one of me lying on Edward's bed naked, him beside me with his hand stroking me, the coldness of his fingers making my heated cock quiver. I thrust myself into his hand and he obligingly began to jerk me off faster, pushing me over the edge rapidly. I came in his hand and in my own, feeling the hot cum land in puddles on my belly and chest and I grabbed my discarded shorts quickly to clean myself up, panting and sweating. God, I longed for him to touch me like that and I wondered if he would start to think about that too eventually. Would he lie on his bed alone thinking about me and touching himself? Would he ever let me touch him? What would he feel like in my hand?

"Oh, God, stop thinking like that," I muttered as my spent cock began to twitch again. I needed to get at least an hour or two of sleep before work. Luckily exhaustion helped me drift off quickly and I managed to get just over two hours' sleep before Dad woke me, knocking on my door and telling me to get up and come talk to him.

"Yeah, I'm up," I called, dragging myself off the bed slowly. I felt like I could sleep for a week. I went to the bathroom quickly, pulled on some pants and then headed out to get coffee and face the music.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

"Dad, I'm sorry, I know you're mad," I began, thinking if I grovelled from the start he mightn't be too hard on me.

"Jacob, I'm not mad," Dad said with a sigh. "I'm disappointed. You know I understand you needing to see Edward and I've said I'm happy for you to spend time with him every day, but on week nights I expect you home at a reasonable hour and I don't expect you to send a brief text with no explanation and then ignore my reply."

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I won't make a habit of it. We had a problem we needed to talk about; he was upset."

"Anything you need help with?" Dad raised his eyebrows.

"No, thanks, we sorted it out."

"Ok, well you know you can talk to me if you want, about anything. Just remember, Jacob, you are still only sixteen and although you might be tough and able to cope with things, I do still worry about you."

"I know. Thanks, Dad."

I heaved a sigh of relief and finished getting ready for work, then made some breakfast. I was just thinking about sending Edward a text when my phone beeped with one from him.

'Is your Dad ok? Hope he didn't ground you!'

'No, he's ok. See you tonight?' I replied.

'Of course. I'll be home.'

I relaxed and did my best not to think about him too much as I walked over to the garage and began work. The last thing I wanted was to spend the day with a hard-on, which would be easily done if I let myself imagine his lips on mine. Luckily I had plenty to do and the day passed quickly. I returned to the house for some lunch and then by the time I had completed two more jobs it was over. I gulped down the dinner Dad had prepared and went to shower and change. In another fifteen minutes I was on my way over to see Edward. The tiredness I had begun to feel after the lack of sleep immediately evaporated as my pulse sped up and by the time he opened the door to let me in, I was both excited and nervous. I wasn't sure how close to him I should get, thinking he probably still needed some time after what we had talked about. I decided I would just play it by ear and see what he seemed to want.

We spent the evening watching movies and cuddling the same way we often did. The only difference was that after the first half hour, I could no longer concentrate on the television, too aware that his cheek was only inches from mine and if I turned him to face me, I would only have to move a fraction to make our lips meet. I imagined myself doing just that. If I did, would he respond? Part his lips and let them caress mine? Let me taste his mouth...

I struggled to force the thoughts away as my cock twitched slightly. I was almost moulded to him and if I got hard, he would feel it immediately. I'd had that problem with morning hard-ons a few times when I stayed over and although embarrassing, it hadn't really mattered, but it was a little different when I was wide awake, my mouth close to his ear, my hand resting on his chest and my crotch alarmingly close to his hip. I shifted my position slightly, pretending to stretch and moved my lower body a little further away, just in case.

I got through the rest of the evening without disgracing myself and left before ten so as to keep Dad happy. I did kiss Edward goodbye before I got in the car, but it was a brief peck on the lips. He seemed pretty happy and I decided to keep my distance at least until the weekend when I stayed over again. Maybe then when we had more time, something would happen. I drove home quickly, spoke to Dad briefly and went to bed. Despite my exhaustion from the lack of sleep, I was hard and eager to touch myself and for the next couple of days I had to relieve myself at least twice a day while the hours spent with Edward tested my self-control almost to the limit. It was Friday night when I stopped struggling with myself and tested the water just a little bit.

Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie had left to visit the others in Alaska for the weekend and we had the house to ourselves. I wished I didn't have to work Saturday so that I could have stayed the whole weekend, but maybe sleeping over for two nights would have been too much. Rather than spend the evening in Edward's room as we usually did, we hung out downstairs and I managed to persuade him to play the piano for me again. This time he kept going for about thirty minutes and I watched and listened in admiration as he played a couple of pieces from memory and then continued by reading some sheet music. He seemed to lose himself in it and I lost myself in him while I watched his hands flying over the keys.

When he eventually stopped playing, we went into the main lounge and sprawled on the sofa listening to some CDs. Edward had selected Coldplay, knowing they were one of my favourite bands and as he sat down near to where I was stretched out with my feet on a footstool, I reached out and pulled him closer to me. He leaned down, resting his hands on my chest, eyelids lowered to cover his golden eyes. I studied his face for a few seconds, my heart beginning to pound faster under his hand as I noticed every little detail - his flawless skin, soft red lips, long lashes and wild bronze hair. He was beautiful and I slid one hand around to the back of his neck, guiding his lips to mine.

We kissed softly, our mouths seeming to fit together as if they were made for each other. I tasted his cold sweetness and shivers ran through my body, making goosebumps rise on my skin the same as before. My heart raced and began to pump blood to my cock as our lips clung to each other, caressing each other the way they had when we kissed properly the first time. My erection grew rapidly and strained against my zipper, making me curse the fact that I was wearing tight-fitting jeans. I longed to adjust myself to ease the discomfort, but I would have made myself too obvious. I even considered stopping the kiss for about a second and immediately dismissed the idea. He seemed to be enjoying it as much as I was and so long as that was the case, I had no intention of stopping. Instead I let my tongue emerge a little, teasing his lips until they parted and allowed me access. The tip of his tongue met mine and I plunged mine in further, stroking his, exploring and tasting his mouth. He let out a quiet moan and my cock throbbed desperately, my balls aching and threatening me with wet and sticky pants. A moment later Edward pulled back and sat up. He was panting softly, even though he didn't need to breathe and his eyes were huge and black. I knew he wasn't thirsty and wondered if arousal turned a vampire's eyes black too.

"Um...I...I better go get another CD," he said and vanished before I could reply.

"Oh, God," I groaned. I was so hard I was in pain and my shorts were wet around the head of my cock. I hauled myself up and made my way quickly to the downstairs bathroom. He would come back and see how hard I was and there was no way it would go down any time soon. I would just sit there suffering and give myself away if I didn't simply explode and come in my pants. I leaned against the door, unzipped quickly and pulled out my aching cock, sighing with relief as I gripped it firmly and began to stroke. I only had to think about the feel and taste of Edward's mouth and remember the sound of him moaning and my orgasm was approaching rapidly. I moved my hand faster, trying to imagine Edward's cold hand jerking me off and in seconds I was spurting through my fingers, grinding my teeth and struggling to suppress a groan. Panting and trembling, I grabbed a handful of toilet paper to clean myself up, washed my hands and returned to the lounge. Edward wasn't there and I wondered if he was doing the same thing I had. Did our kisses make him as hard as they had me? Was he in his bathroom with his cock in his hand getting himself off?

"Jesus, don't think about it," I whispered to myself as I felt a twitch between my legs again. How I was going to get through Saturday night in bed with him I had no idea.

He walked into the room a moment later, looking as cool as a cucumber and with several CDs in his hand. I couldn't help lowering my eyes to his crotch and wondering if his slacks had been hastily fastened seconds before he came back downstairs. He was talking and I had no idea what he had said.

"Sorry..."

"I said you better pick one or you'll complain about my taste," he smiled, holding the CDs out to me.

No way would I complain about his taste, I thought, licking my lips as I took the discs. They were all my type of music and I grinned as I selected Aerosmith.

"You really like this stuff?" I asked him.

"I like most music," he said, taking the disc out of its case. "I like to listen to the instruments in each piece, whether it's a piano or violin, a guitar or drums."

I hadn't really thought of it like that - I listened to the songs as a whole and when I was alone, frequently sang along, probably in a horrible out of key way. At least thinking about that took my mind off what I had just been doing in the bathroom and what Edward might or might not have been doing upstairs.

When I left a little later, we kissed goodbye on the porch, but kept it to a few light pecks and then I was on my way home, knowing that the minute I was alone in my room I would be jerking off again. I was beyond excited; Edward had liked kissing me and again I wondered whether he had done the same thing I did. I struggled to suppress my thoughts until I got to my room and then let them flood my mind. I dragged my clothes off, freeing my erection and wrapping my hand around it immediately. It was hot and aching and I considered what Edward might feel like. How big was he? Was he cut? Would his cock be as white as the rest of him and as cold, or colder? Could a vampire come the same way I could? That was something I hadn't thought of before and I was dying to find out. I moved my hand faster as I thought of him naked.

I had seen him naked once, I remembered, in the hotel in Florence when he collapsed in the shower. But the last thing I had wanted to see then was his cock and I had done my best to not look at anything. I knew he had a toned upper body, well defined pecs and abs and a light sprinkling of hair over his chest. I closed my eyes and pictured him like that, imagined lowering my eyes to where his happy trail disappeared into his pants. I would unfasten his belt, unzip them and watch them fall down his legs, hook my thumbs into the waistband of his shorts and lower them to free his erection...

"Oh, fuck," I muttered as I came again, shooting through my hand onto my belly. I couldn't even get my hands on him in my imagination. Just looking at him was to much for me. I knew I was a hormonal sixteen-year-old, not helped by the wolf gene, but I was making myself crazy. Was it the Imprint or was it just Edward? I had no idea and I could hardly ask Sam or Jared for advice on this one.

Saturday morning dragged. I couldn't wait to finish work and I made the one job I had last as long as possible. Usually Embry and Quil would come over Saturdays, but I was relieved when Quil sent me a text to say they were going into PA for the day. I knew I wouldn't be good company as I counted off the minutes until I could close the garage and go to Edward's.

I dressed in cargo pants and a t-shirt, not wanting to be crushed in tight jeans again as soon as I got close to him. I took a bag containing a change of clothes, extra underwear and my toothbrush and by two o'clock I was parking in front of his house, my guts knotted with excitement.

The afternoon was fairly casual. We played one of Emmett's computer games, watched a movie and then made me some food. Edward said he would want to hunt later, so I had only a light meal, intending to fill up later on whatever prey I found in the forest.

We went out around eight o'clock, me undressing and phasing around the corner of the house the way I had before and then racing through the trees with Edward. It took us a couple hours to find anything worth killing and after Edward had drained the blood from a large cat and I had feasted on some form of deer, we made our way more slowly back to the house. Edward went indoors, leaving me to phase back and put my clothes on. Much to my annoyance, I was half erect as I straightened up in human form, the cool night air on my hot body almost mimicking the feel of Edward. Immediately I was imagining his hands stroking me, running over my chest and back, then lower.

"Godamnit," I muttered as my cock stiffened fully and bumped against my belly. I hadn't even gotten close to him yet. Hoping he wasn't going to come back outside looking for me, I stepped back against the house wall into the shadows, knowing the only way I was going to get my erection to subside was to jerk off. I knew it wouldn't take me very long and I grasped myself and closed my eyes, imagining Edward was standing in front of me, watching me touch myself, his hand eventually straying to the bulge in his pants and rubbing himself lightly through the fabric.

As usual, I finished quickly, wiped my hand on the grass nearby and jumped into my clothes. When I went indoors I found Edward in the main lounge flicking through the channels on the TV as he looked for something to watch.

"You took your time," he commented.

"Um...yeah...sometimes I can't phase immediately, I had to really concentrate tonight," I lied.

"Have you ever got stuck in wolf form?" Edward asked with a grin.

"Only the first time. Sometimes it just takes a few minutes though. What are we watching?" I threw myself onto the sofa next to him.

"There's nothing on. How about another Alien movie?"

"Sure." I expected him to fetch the DVD to watch on the main television, but he switched it off and headed for the stairs. "Are you coming?"

_'Oh, God,'_ I thought. '_Probably several times before this weekend is over.'_

It was already pretty late and I decided to change and get in the bed, so at least if I got hard with him snuggling up to me, he wouldn't notice. While he was finding the DVD I used the bathroom and then dived into the bed in just my shorts, stretching out on my back. Edward put the movie on, switched the lights out and began unfastening his pants. I forced myself not to look as he took them off and joined me in the bed wearing t-shirt and shorts, but my heart began to pound wildly again as he lay down. I slid my arm around him as I usually did and he rested his head against my shoulder, but for the first time in this situation I just couldn't relax. I was too aware of everything - his cool hand resting on my chest, his cheek against my shoulder, a knee touching my thigh and in minutes I was hard again. I pulled my knee up a few inches to prevent any movement being visible and clenched my fist to stop my hand wandering down there to touch it.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked quietly.

"Fine, why?"

"You're really tense."

_'I'm horny and hard and I'm dying for you to touch me. Shit.' _I glanced at him, hoping to God he wasn't in my head. He didn't leap out of the bed and flee so I guessed he wasn't. "I'm ok," I said with a sigh.

Somehow I was ok, at least for a while. I concentrated fiercely on the movie and after a while, my erection subsided somewhat. I got through more than half of 'Aliens' before Edward changed his position. He was already resting against my side, but when he moved I felt his soft cock shift inside his shorts and touch my thigh. I bit my lip to stifle a groan as I began to harden again and with Edward still engrossed in the movie, I excused myself, saying I had to use the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it, hoping he would just think I was using the toilet and wanted to ensure privacy. Sitting on the toilet seat with my eyes closed, I imagined Edward lying beside me, his cock hard as it came to rest against my thigh. He pressed closer to me, gyrating his hips and rubbing himself against me, panting softly as he used me to get himself off. The knowledge that he was just feet away on the other side of the door made it all the more exciting and as usual, I came rapidly. I cleaned myself up, switched the light off and returned to the bedroom.

Feeling as guilty as hell, I slid back into the bed to watch the rest of the movie. I just couldn't seem to control myself and it was only exhaustion now that ensured no further movement down below. When the movie ended, I settled down to sleep with Edward wrapped in my arms the same way I always did when I stayed over with him and when I woke again it was daylight. I could see the brightness the other side of my closed eyelids and I kept them closed for a moment until I realised my morning wood was digging into Edward's hip while I had one of my legs draped over him. My cock twitched against him and I pulled back quickly in embarrassment.

"Sorry," I grunted, diving out of the bed quickly to go to the bathroom.

"Doesn't matter," I heard him murmur a second before I closed the door.

Did he mean it didn't matter because I'd been asleep and couldn't help it, or did the idea of me being hard for him really not bother him now? Hoping it was the latter, I took the opportunity to jerk off again as I showered, imagining myself back in bed with him, rubbing myself against his leg. Afterwards I scrubbed myself vigorously with handfuls of shower gel and dried off quickly, realising with annoyance that I hadn't brought a change of clothes into the bathroom with me. Shit. Opening the door a crack, I peeked out and sighed with relief when I noticed he wasn't there. I grabbed my bag and pulled out fresh shorts and t-shirt, dragging them on at top speed in case he came back.

Edward didn't return and when I finished dressing I stepped out of the room onto the landing. I could hear the shower running in the main bathroom and went down to the kitchen to find something to eat. I had made my way through half a loaf of grilled cheese and some coffee by the time Edward appeared, wearing black jeans and a blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, his hair still mostly wet and combed flat. As it gradually dried, it worked itself upright at angles from his head and I had an urge to run my fingers through the silken strands. Why shouldn't I, I wondered? He liked us being close and he seemed to have gotten over his worries about us kissing.

I reached out to grab his hand where he stood a little distance from the bar stool I was sitting on and drew him closer to me until he stood between my knees. I raised my free hand and brushed his hair off of his forehead, then stroked my fingers through it until my hand cupped the back of his head. I dropped my eyes to his lips and they parted as I stared at them, almost an invitation to kiss him.

"You're so beautiful," I murmured. '_Jesus, did I actually say that?'_

I got to my feet and slid my arm around his waist, bringing him closer to me so that our bodies lightly touched, ducking my head a little to press our lips together. He rested his hands on my chest and then slowly moved them up around my neck as I caught his lower lip between mine, tugging at it gently before I covered his mouth more firmly and let my tongue seek his. His cold hand on the back of my neck made me shiver and my heart began to race, the beat vibrating in my chest so that I was sure he would feel it. I plunged my tongue more urgently into his mouth and he stroked it eagerly with his own, his nails digging into my neck and a moan issuing from him which as usual went straight to my cock. It quickly stiffened and rose in my loose pants and I shifted my lower body slightly away from his, not wanting to stop kissing him, but worried that he would be the one to stop at the feel of my excitement.

Another moan and his lips crushed mine, the sting on my neck indicating his nails were breaking the skin. It certainly didn't seem like he would freak out if he felt what he was doing to me and I turned him slightly so that his back was against the counter and pressed myself close to him again, my erection throbbing in my pants and pushing against him as I leaned my weight on him. _Fuck!_ He was hard. I could feel the ridge of his jeans zipper and beyond it, the unmistakable shape of his cock, upright, resting alongside mine between our stomachs.

It was my turn to groan and I tore my mouth away from his, breathless, and pressed my lips against his neck instead, scraping my teeth over the hard flesh just above his shirt collar, tasting him and marvelling that he was so sweet compared to the rest of them - those I'd had to kill. I longed to taste all of him - to take off his shirt and explore his chest and stomach with my hands and mouth, remove his pants...

"Oh, God," I moaned. I was perilessly close to coming - again - and I returned my mouth to his, delighted when his response was just as urgent as it had been before and he held on tighter to me, not even protesting when I shifted my hips slightly and nudged my cock against his. I wanted to grind myself against him, give both of us more friction, but I was still worried he wouldn't like it. It was only a week since me kissing him had sent him into a panic and I stayed still determinedly, letting my imagination and the feel of his mouth on mine and his hands on my neck fuel my arousal. I moved only very slightly, shifting my feet, bumping myself almost casually against him as shivers ran from my neck to my feet and my balls tightened, my cock twitching desperately. Was he as close as I was, I wondered? I imagined him struggling to suppress his orgasm, his cock aching, his shorts damp around the head the way mine were. I lowered my hand just an inch or two, tugged the back of his shirt free from his jeans and slipped my hand underneath, splaying out my fingers and pressing the heat of my hand onto his cold back. His strangled moan filled my mouth and the sound of it tipped me over the edge. My cock pulsed frantically, spilling my seed into my shorts and soaking them. I broke the kiss again, my chest heaving as I struggled to draw more oxygen into my lungs and Edward's nails punctured my skin again as he shivered in my arms, another groan escaping him. I held him tighter for a moment and then opened my eyes and pulled my head back, glancing at his face. His eyes were lowered and he removed his hands from my neck, looking at the nails. The tips of several were red.

"Shit...um...I'm sorry...uh...I...I guess I don't know my own strength sometimes," he stuttered.

"It's ok." I couldn't even feel the sting any more and guessed the tiny wounds had already mostly healed.

"Sorry...uh...excuse me..." He stepped out of my arms and grinned suddenly in an apologetic way before leaving the room at the speed of sound.

"Jesus, fuck," I muttered. I was still panting, my t-shirt sticking to my back and my shorts soaked and glued to my cock. I headed for one of the bathrooms quickly to clean up as best I could, wondering if Edward was doing the same thing. I was pretty sure he came too and he hadn't seemed all that upset by it. My pounding heart didn't slow as I considered that there may actually be a chance we could at least kiss and touch each other, if only he didn't regret this the way he had our first kiss.

I exited the bathroom and went back to the kitchen to wait for him. It was perhaps another five minutes before he appeared, avoiding my eyes, but with a shy smile on his face.

"Are you ok?" I asked softly.

"Yes." It was all he said before he changed the subject and suggested going out for a drive since it was a cloudy day, but I heaved a sigh of relief. He wasn't awkward or regretful or trying to get rid of me and finally it seemed we had taken a giant step forward. I shoved my feet into my boots and followed him outside, a grin on my face that I knew I was going to have trouble shifting for the rest of the day.


	20. Chapter 20

**As always, thank you to everyone who is reading, and I appreciate all the great reviews :o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY

We spent a few hours out that day, heading south in Edward's Volvo to Ruby Beach at Kalaloch around forty miles from Forks. I missed the beach, but I realised there was no reason why we shouldn't go; just because Edward couldn't come to La Push didn't mean we couldn't go north or south away from the Reservation and find somewhere else to swim.

It was a warm day, but overcast and threatening rain; perfect for Edward and in addition the beach was quiet, most people apparently not wanting to risk ball games, picnics or family outings if the weather was going to turn bad. We left the car in the lot at the top of the path which led to the sand and then walked down slowly, discovering that other than a couple playing with a dog some distance away and two boys with a football, we had the beach to ourselves. Edward had a rolled up rug under his arm which he had removed from the trunk of the car and he spread it out on the sand amongst the dunes.

"Do you want to swim?" I suggested. The tide was in and the water was just fifty feet away, blue-grey with white crests as the waves rolled up onto the sand. It looked considerably more enticing than at La Push and I was eager to get in there, only regretting the fact that I didn't have a surfboard with me.

"Ok."

I kicked off my boots quickly, peeled off t-shirt, jeans and socks and ran towards the water without hesitation. As usual, the water was colder than it looked and it felt delicious on my hot body. I plunged in head first as soon as I was in thigh deep and then began to swim powerfully away from the beach. Eventually I stopped and turned, treading water and supporting myself with outstretched arms as I looked back at Edward. He was waist deep, heading more slowly into the water, but as I watched he threw himself forward and began to swim, face down, cutting efficiently through the water. He reached me in seconds and stretched out, floating on the surface of the waves staring up at the sky. I did the same, although it was him I stared at. He was wearing grey jersey shorts, similar to the black ones I had on and they clung like a second skin. Soaking wet I could see the shape of his cock, the mushroom head clearly outlined under the fabric. Fuck, he was cut. Immediately I began to stiffen and let my lower body sink into the water again to cover up my excitement, tearing my eyes away from him determinedly, but one glance was all it took. I became harder still and I had to reach down to adjust my shorts before my head pushed its way out of the waistband.

_'Just great,'_ I thought._ 'Whose idea was it to go swimming?'_

"Yours, wasn't it?" Edward said idly and smirked.

"Damnit, what are you doing reading my thoughts?" I could feel my face heating up and I guiltily suppressed what I was thinking before I embarrassed myself any further.

"Sorry. Just curious." He let his legs sink and trod water again, hovering a few feet away from me. His wet hair appeared several shades darker than usual and his golden-brown eyes locked with mine. He was so beautiful and so fucking sexy and here I was suggesting an activity that had us both virtually naked and soaking wet. God help me when we went back to the beach because my cock had no intention of softening any time soon.

"Let's swim some more," I said and turned away from him. He joined me without a word and we ploughed along parallel to the beach for perhaps a half mile, then turned and swam back towards the dunes. Mercifully my erection had subsided during the exercise, but it began to come to life again the minute we left the water. Edward walked ahead of me and I couldn't stop myself looking at the muscles in his back and his slim but strong legs, the wet grey shorts clinging to his butt. He reached the rug and sat down and I threw myself onto it on my belly quickly, hoping I made it before he noticed the state I was in.

Edward sat with his knees drawn up and arms wrapped around them and I wondered if he was sitting like that to cover up the fact that he was aroused too. I squinted sideways, but was unable to see anything. My own cock twitched beneath me and I resisted the urge to rub myself against the rug. I just couldn't seem to control myself around him and I propped my upper body up and touched his arm, figuring anything I did wasn't likely to make things much worse for me. I wanted to touch him, to feel him against me and if what happened in the kitchen had been anything to go by, maybe he even wanted the same thing.

"Come here," I said quietly.

He changed position with vampiric speed and in a split second was copying me, face down with upper body raised and resting on his elbows, barely an inch between us. I rolled slightly onto one side and rested my hand on his back between his shoulder blades, slowly stroking down his spine to the waistband of his shorts and then back up. He shivered under my touch and I wondered if the feel of my heat affected him in the same way that his chill affected me. I leaned closer and brushed my lips against his cheek, surprised when he turned his head towards me immediately to bring our lips together. I kissed him chastely for a moment before sliding my tongue into his mouth, tasting his usual sweetness mingled with salt from the sea. His eyes closed and he moaned softly, the sound only serving to make me harder.

I turned completely onto my side and urged him to do the same, our mouths still clinging and tongues toying with each other, my hand resting on Edward's lower back, the tip of my pinky finger touching the waistband of his shorts and itching to slip beneath it. He moved to face me more slowly until his chest was flush with mine and his cock, rigid and quivering under the damp fabric, bumped mine. He whimpered and broke the kiss, shifting his hips away from me again. I wished I knew what he was thinking; if only I could just take a peek into his head the way he did with me. His body was reacting to me and yet he moved away. Was he still struggling to accept being with me like this? Should I back off, even though every fibre of me longed to jerk him against me and grind my cock against his until we both came?

"Edward," I murmured.

His eyes opened slowly and met mine. They had turned black again and he licked his lower lip before catching it between his teeth.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"I'm thinking that...um..." He lowered his eyes again. "...I still feel like it's wrong...what we're doing...but I don't know if I can stop myself."

"You know I won't do anything you don't want, right?"

"Yes."

"We can take things as slow as you want."

"I know."

He dropped his head forward and turned his face into my neck, his body shifting slightly closer again. I tentatively tightened my arm around his waist, closing the small gap between us completely until his covered erection came to rest against mine. It throbbed eagerly against both my own and my belly and I bit my lip to suppress a groan.

"Is this ok?" I asked softly.

"I think so." He moved his hips, his cock rubbing against mine and let out a deep groan. "Yes."

I slowly began to move my body, gyrating my hips as best I could on my side, bucking gently against him, my aching cock thrusting against his tormentingly slowly. His hand slid from my side to my back and held onto me tight as he pulled his head back again and brought his lips to mine. I plunged my tongue into his mouth eagerly, breathing hard through my nose as I explored and tasted, effectively muffling the sound of our moans as I rocked against him. I was quivering from head to foot, my skin tingling from the feel of his coldness where our lips clung, our chests pressed together, arms around each other's backs and legs tangled together. Suddenly no longer able to draw in enough oxygen, I broke the kiss again and guided Edward's face back to my neck, shivering when his teeth scraped the skin below my ear, gently so as to avoid breaking through.

"Oh, God," I gasped. "You feel so good."

Edward responded with a groan, his body beginning to tremble in my arms and I thrust myself harder against him, my balls tightening. I felt him come a few seconds before me, his cock pulsing inside his wet shorts, his mouth pressed to my neck in an effort to stay quiet. My orgasm immediately crashed through me, leaving me shuddering and panting, my teeth cutting through my lip and drawing blood in my determination not to yell out his name or some expletive that would draw attention to us, should anyone be within hearing distance. I licked away the droplet of blood, feeling the slight tingle as the small cut healed rapidly, then I brushed my lips against Edward's cheek, still breathless, my heart hammering. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him how I felt about him, but I held back. I knew without a doubt that I loved him and I didn't think his reaction to that would be bad, but I was reluctant to tell him right after we did something sexual in case he thought it was only my post-orgasmic high which was making me say the words.

"We better get cleaned up," I murmured reluctantly, not wanting to move away from him, but aware that my shorts, already mostly dried on me and encrusted with salt, would quickly begin to glue themselves to my cock too.

"Yeah." Edward's lips touched my jaw briefly and then he rolled away from me and sat up.

I got to my feet, took a quick look around to make sure no one was approaching and then half turned away from him before peeling off my shorts. I used them to clean myself up as best I could and then pulled my jeans back on. As I turned to retrieve my t-shirt, I glanced over at Edward, who was in the process of pulling his pants up his legs. He was standing sideways on to me and I let my eyes drift to his penis, now soft and hanging between his legs. It was roughly the same size as mine, as white as the rest of him, although the mushroom head was very faintly pink. The hair surrounding it was bronze and neatly trimmed and I imagined myself touching him, stroking my thumb over his slit, teasing it and making it leak, maybe running my tongue over it and tasting him. I jerked my eyes away quickly as he drew his pants up the rest of the way and fastened them. My mouth was watering and my cock was already beginning to come back to life. I did my best to stop thinking about it as I pulled on my t-shirt and socks and sat down again on the rug while I waited for Edward to finish dressing.

Somehow I expected things to be a little awkward between us now. Earlier in the kitchen, Edward had changed the subject quickly as if he wanted to forget what happened, but now he sat down beside me, as close as he could get and nestled his face into my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and we sat there for maybe another hour or so, cuddling and talking. I hated that I was going to have to leave him and return home in just a few hours and when we eventually left the beach and headed back to Forks, we held hands as he drove, our fingers laced together and my thumb stroking over his knuckles.

When we reached the house we took turns at showering off the sea salt in Edward's bathroom, then spent the rest of the afternoon listening to music and cuddling on one of the couches in the main lounge. I wanted to be as close to him as possible and he clearly wanted the same thing. He held onto me tightly as if he didn't want me to leave and I loved being so close to him, idly stroking my fingers through his hair, occasionally brushing his ear or his cheek with my lips. We tore ourselves apart reluctantly as evening approached and threw together something for me to eat. I barely noticed what it was, but merely shovelled the sustenance down my neck and then returned to the couch to spend the last few short hours with Edward before I had to leave.

Nine-thirty came around all too soon and by then a light rain had begun to fall. I kissed him goodbye on the porch and we clung to each other for several minutes, his arms almost crushing the breath out of me. My heart began to pound as what I wanted to tell him bubbled up inside me again. I had never said it before, not even to Bella although I had imagined myself doing so enough times. I realised now that what I had felt for her had been nothing but infatuation and that it would have eventually faded, even without me having Imprinted.

I loosened my hold on Edward and brought my hands up to cup his face. His eyes opened slowly and met mine and he released his crushing grip on me, holding onto my sides lightly instead.

"I hate to leave," I murmured.

"I know."

"I..." My heart was beating so loud it almost deafened me and I was sure he must be able to hear it too. _"Say it,"_ I told myself.

"Hmm?" he prompted.

"I love you, Edward." I sounded breathless and the words came out in a rush as if I'd spat them out before I could change my mind. I leaned in and brushed my lips lightly against his, trying to calm myself and failing completely. "I love you," I whispered again more slowly.

I didn't think he would say it back - I didn't expect him to - but I felt elated that he knew what was in my heart, if I hadn't made it obvious already and if the fact that I Imprinted hadn't told him I was bound to feel that way eventually. His eyes softened and his lips curved upwards and I relaxed at last.

"I think...I feel the same," he said.

His voice was so quiet that I barely heard him and he lowered his eyes away from mine, his smile growing bigger. My heart picked up its pace again and once more I found myself breathless. He loved me too! Or at least thought he did. I pulled him close to me again and hugged him tightly, even more reluctant than before to drag myself away and go home. His lips touched my ear and he pushed me away slightly.

"Don't be late, your Dad will be mad again."

"I know. Damnit." Grinning, I stepped away from him. "I'll see you tomorrow after work." I hesitated another moment and then determinedly ran down the steps and through the rain to my car. Edward stayed where he was on the porch, watching until I set off down the drive and I drove home with a stupid grin splitting my face in half. For once it wasn't visions of me with my hands all over Edward that filled my mind, but the look in his eyes when I said I loved him and the fact that he _almost _said it back.

Monday was an extremely long and slow day. I didn't have much work to do and I pulled my phone out every half hour, considering sending Edward a text and not knowing what to say. Several times I began tapping out a message and then gave up and deleted it. I felt ridiculously nervous and excited and constantly glanced at my watch, longing for the day to be over so that I could see him. When I eventually finished work, I raced over to the house and dived into the shower, butterflies filling my stomach. Dad had made some dinner and I wolfed mine down at top speed, put the crockery into the dishwasher and then finally I was on my way over to the Cullens'. I drove the Rabbit as fast as I could reasonably get away with on the rain-slick road and ten minutes later I turned onto their driveway. I knew that Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie would be home by now, but it wouldn't really make any difference to Edward and me. None of them ever bothered us if we were in his room.

The door opened before I even had chance to ring the bell and Edward grinned at me, standing back to let me in. Unusually for him he was wearing cargo pants similar to mine with his t-shirt and for once the first thing on my mind wasn't whether I could get him out of them, but how much I loved him. Unable to help myself, I pushed the door closed behind me and grabbed him in a hug, holding him tight against me until Emmett appeared in the hallway behind us.

"Jeez, didn't you lovebirds get enough of each other while we were gone?"

Feeling my face turning red, I let go of Edward reluctantly and shoved my hands into my pockets.

"No, I think you should go back to Alaska and stay there," I joked to cover my momentary embarrassment.

Edward snorted softly and headed for the stairs. "Let's go up to my room."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Emmett teased and returned to the lounge.

We spent the evening listening to music and talking as we often did, wrapped in each other's arms on Edward's bed, occasionally exchanging soft kisses and touches although things didn't progress from there. I was half hard the whole evening and I certainly would have loved for things to heat up, but at the same time I was happy just holding him and feeling ridiculously loved up and romantic.

The next couple of weeks followed much the same pattern. I would race over to the Cullens' straight after dinner on weekdays and spend the evening with Edward, sometimes hunting, sometimes snuggling up in his room, or kissing and rubbing against each other until we came in our pants. On the weekends when I stayed over we slept in our shorts - Edward no longer bothered with his t-shirt - and we would grind against each other, usually the same way we had on the beach, but occasionally with either him or me on top, thrusting more vigorously against each other and stifling our cries as best we could to avoid being overheard.

It had only been two more days after the trip to the beach before Edward whispered the three little words I had blurted out so excitedly to him and knowing that he felt the same way I did only made being with him and touching him more special. But I still wanted more. I longed to touch him properly, have him naked in my arms, feeling his cold erection against mine or have it pulsing in my hand. I hadn't made any attempt to get his shorts off so far, fearing he still felt guilty about what we had been doing, but I knew I wouldn't know if he was ok with more unless I actually tried it.

Another week passed and on Saturday night I stripped off my wet and sticky shorts in the bathroom, cleaned up quickly and pulled on one of the fresh pairs I brought with me before returning to the bed and waiting for Edward to do the same thing. As usual I spooned up against him and held him tight as I fell asleep and when I woke to find daylight brightening the room, he had turned over to face me and I was rock hard. Reluctantly I slid away from him and went to use the toilet and clean my teeth, then went back to bed, pushing the sheet down to the bottom of the bed instead of covering us again.

Despite having taken a pee I was still half erect and as soon as I kissed Edward, my cock stiffened fully and strained against my shorts. He was lying on his back and I leaned over him, exploring his mouth with my tongue and resting my hand on his chest, my fingers brushing over the hard nub of one nipple. I pinched it gently between finger and thumb and then increased the pressure until he moaned into my mouth and his back arched up off the bed. I broke the kiss and watched his face as I squeezed again and twisted slightly, then released the nipple and turned my attention to the other.

"Oh, fuck," Edward hissed and I smirked, glancing down to see his erection twitching eagerly in his shorts. Would he let me touch him, I wondered? I longed to, but I still worried about doing it, not least because I had never touched anybody other than myself. I was excited and nervous and my hand shook slightly as I stroked it down the middle of his chest to his abs, pausing at the waistband of his shorts. My heart stuttered and I chewed my lip, trying not to gasp for breath. I slowly stretched my pinky finger out until it brushed the head of his cock and then stopped and looked back at his face. His eyes were closed, his teeth biting his lower lip so hard that part of it had paled from red to pink.

"Can I touch you?" I whispered.

His lip slid from between his teeth and he whimpered quietly.

"Edward?"

"Yes."

My heart pounding, I slid my hand slowly lower until my palm rested over his length, feeling the coldness of it through the thin layer of fabric. It throbbed under my hand and I began to palm him tentatively, running my hand up and down his length and watching, almost groaning when a damp patch began to appear around his head. I rubbed my thumb over it and he moaned and squirmed, his nails digging into my back where his arm rested around me. I had to have him in my hand properly. I hooked my thumb into the waistband of his shorts and began to lower them slowly, wondering whether he would stop me uncovering him, but rather than protest he lifted his butt up off the mattress so I could pull the garment down easier. I lowered the shorts to his thighs and then wrapped my hand around his shaft. It chilled my palm immediately and I squeezed firmly, beginning to slide my hand up and down his length, stroking my thumb over the slit each time I reached the tip and watching as he leaked pre-cum. The head was pale pink, the rest white in stark contrast to the russet brown of my hand. I licked my lips, squirming and rubbing myself against the mattress as I continued to jerk him off, slowly for another minute or two until I felt the pressure building up in him, his head thrown back as he panted and moaned. He was close and I moved my hand faster, flicking my wrist until he came, spurting onto his stomach and chest, thick white fluid that looked the same as mine. I slowed down and stroked him through his orgasm until he became too sensitive and reached down to push my hand off. His eyes opened slowly and met mine, jet black and lust-filled.

"Fuck," he said simply.

I grinned and slid my hand down to adjust my shorts, my own cock throbbing uncomfortably, aching for attention. Edward wriggled out of his shorts and used them to clean himself up, then turned onto his side to face me.

"Do you want me to...do that?"

"Only if you want to."

He nodded slowly.

Eagerly I rolled onto my back and pushed my shorts down, hesitating with them tight around my thighs and then continued and kicked them off. My cock was rigid, curving up against my belly, the purple head already glistening with pre-cum and now it quivered in anticipation, waiting for Edward to touch it. I watched his hand reach out slowly and the tips of his fingers lightly brush up and down, the faint touch sweet torture. I shuddered under his ice-cold touch and groaned. He cupped my balls carefully, stroking and squeezing them before he moved his hand back to my cock and curled his fingers around it. His head was propped up on his other hand, watching what he was doing the same way I had. I began to close my eyes, but then realised I wanted to watch - I wanted to see his white hand on my cock, see my reaction to his chilly touch. I fixed my eyes on his hand, following its movement up and down my shaft, tormentingly slow. My spine tingled and goosebumps covered my thighs and stomach. I breathed deep, struggling to make myself last at least a few minutes, but knowing it was a losing battle. I was already halfway there just from watching myself touch him and now the feel of his hand on me after I had wanted it for so long was just too much.

"Fuck, Edward, I'm not going to last," I groaned.

"Don't try," he murmured. His hand quickened its pace until it almost became a blur and I curled my hands into fists at my sides, clenching my teeth and rolling my head back.

"Oh, shit...fuck...I'm gonna...come..." I panted. I forced my eyes to stay open and watched my cock pulsing in his hand, cum jetting forcefully from the tip onto my chest and oozing down over Edward's fingers. I groaned much too loudly and bit my lip, gasping for breath, my chest heaving with the effort. I had imagined what it might feel like if he touched me, but it had been even more amazing than my mind had been able to conjure up. I was trembling from head to foot, my cock spent but still twitching and quivering as he took his hand away. Edward grabbed my shorts and wiped his hand on them before passing them to me to clean myself up. I tossed them aside a moment later and draped my arm lazily across him, turning onto my side to give him a light kiss.

"I love you so much," I whispered, our lips still lightly touching.

"I love you too."

Now I let my eyes close as my heartbeat slowed. It was still early and I felt too weak to even think about getting up just yet. Edward moved closer and tucked his face into my neck, his lips touching my collarbone the last thing I felt before I drifted back into sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

When I woke again Edward was still with me, his face pressed against my shoulder and one arm so tight around my neck that he was making it difficult for me to breathe.

"Hey..." I touched his arm gently and he loosened it at once.

"Sorry."

"Are you ok?"

"Mmm."

His fingers dug harder into my shoulder as he held onto me and I wouldn't have been surprised to see a bruise form. I turned over to face him and brushed my lips against his. He looked wistful - worried almost - and I wished again that I could read his mind the same way he could mine. I cupped his cheek and stroked my thumb over his bottom lip; his eyes closed and he turned his head to press his lips against my palm.

"Do you wish we hadn't gone so far?" I asked.

"No!" His eyes flew open again and met mine. They were black. "It's not that. I just...it doesn't matter. I'm being ridiculous."

"Tell me," I insisted. "You're worried about something; I woke up and you were almost strangling me."

"I never expected any of this to happen," he said slowly. "I never expected to feel this way about you and now that I do I don't want to lose this."

"You won't," I said at once, stunned. He was scared of losing me? That he would feel like that, even though he had said he loved me, was unexpected and my heart skipped a couple of beats.

"You'll grow away from me; age. I'm going to be stuck like this forever."

"I won't age so long as I phase every so often," I told him. "I'm not going anywhere, Edward. You're not going to end up with a decrepit old grey wolf or have to bury me. I don't know how long we can live exactly, but I'm pretty sure it's a lot longer than a human so long as we halt the aging. The Imprint wouldn't let me grow away from you because it would just make us both sick, particularly me, but forget about that. It's not only about the Imprint any more. I love you..."

"I know," he sighed.

"...which means I'll be with you every minute I can be unless death forces us apart. You're my life, Edward, don't you know that?" I hugged him tighter against me while at the same time his painful grip on me loosened.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "You must think I'm being pathetic and clingy."

"Not pathetic...clingy, maybe, but I like it," I grinned. "Stop worrying. You're stuck with me. Nothing you do or don't do is going to change that."

He smiled at last. "It's kind of hard to believe that a few weeks ago things between us were so different. You saved my life and then turned it into a much better one."

"Now that's just corny," I teased. "And you're thirsty." I pulled away from him and sat up. "Let's shower and go hunting."

I was surprised when Edward followed me into the bathroom and joined me in the shower stall, but since we had moved forward to being naked in front of each other and jerked each other off, I guess I shouldn't have expected him to be as reserved as usual. I turned on the water as hot as it would go and leaned against the tiled wall, resting my hands on Edward's waist and drawing him against me.

"Sometimes I stay in here until I use up all the hot water," he told me. "Rose hates me for it. I just love the heat. I miss being warm; being able to feel hot or cold. You're always so warm..."

"All the more reason for you to be as clingy as possible," I smiled. "My temperature is a hundred and eight degrees." I slid my arms around him and held him tighter, feeling the chill of his body despite the heat of the water. I shivered and my cock quickly began to stiffen, working its way upright between our stomachs. After a moment I felt Edward harden too, his erection nudging between my legs as I stood with them spread apart. My cock twitched eagerly and I groaned at the feel of him until a few seconds later he stepped back, pulling himself away from me so that his shaft rose quickly and bumped against his belly.

I hadn't planned on starting anything, aware that he needed to feed, but his hand wrapped around me suddenly and squeezed lightly. I sucked my breath in and my cock throbbed in his hand, encouraging him to begin stroking me. I placed my hand on his neck, guiding his mouth to mine while I began touching him with the other hand, matching his rhythm as we kissed and jerked each other off. It was over too quickly, but we continued to make the shower itself sensual, washing each other's hair and soaping each other's bodies.

Afterwards we went out. We took off into the forest and headed north-east, spending several hours up there in the mountains, feeding first and then just wandering and talking, me occasionally nudging Edward with my muzzle or licking his hand and him ruffling my fur and scratching me ears.

By the time we returned it was dark and we had just a few hours left before I had to leave him. For once we sat in the main lounge where Emmett and Rosalie were watching TV and talking about Jasper. He and Alexa were both doing fine, with Esme ensuring they didn't go out unsupervised until it was certain they were in control of themselves and would only hunt animals. Jasper was slowly recovering from his heartbreak over the loss of Alice and was beginning to show interest in Alexa, over and above his responsibility to her as a newborn.

Edward sat beside me on the couch as we chatted and I itched to cuddle him, the way Emmett and Rosalie were snuggling together opposite us. For once she was too distracted by Emmett nibbling her ear to even glare at me. I risked sliding my hand off of my thigh to cover Edward's where it rested on the cushion between us and he smirked slightly before turning his hand over and lacing his fingers with mine. I had been unsure whether he would be comfortable with even a slight display of affection in front of his family, but it didn't seem to bother him. Emmett grinned at us and combed his fingers through Rosalie's hair. She turned her head to kiss his fingers and then caught sight of Edward's hand in mine and sneered.

"What?" I said, raising an eyebrow. I couldn't help myself. She was so damned rude and although I couldn't blame her for not liking the smell of me, I thought she could at least have made an effort to be civil if only for Edward's sake.

"What do you mean, _what_?" Her lip curled and she pulled away from Emmett's embrace. He sighed and stretched his arms out, then folded his hands behind his head.

"Rose, don't start," he said.

"You could at least support me!" she snapped.

"You could at least try to get to know Jacob. He might be a wolf, but he's a cool guy and he's going to be around for a long time. It wouldn't hurt you to be pleasant."

"Maybe I don't like having to put up with his stink every night and all weekend." Rosalie got to her feet. "I don't know what was worse - the fragile little human or a dog."

Edward flinched and scowled and I let go of his hand and slid my arm around him instead. I didn't care that she insulted me, but I was pissed that she would say something that hurt her own brother. Emmett clearly agreed with me.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Rose? I can't believe even you would say anything that low!"

"Maybe I can't believe that the rest of the family just rolled over and accepted it. Do you see Edward being invited over to spend time on the Reservation? No! Because none of them will tolerate it!" She stalked out of the room with her nose in the air.

"Sorry, guys," Emmett grumbled.

"It's alright," I said. "I guess she kind of has a point. I can't take Edward to my place."

"It's out of your hands," Emmett reasoned. "Your Elders or Sam make the rules. Just like Carlisle makes the rules here and since he's ok with you being here, my bitch of a wife has no business saying otherwise! I'm sorry, Ed." He marched off after Rosalie and a moment later their raised voices could be heard from upstairs.

"Are they always like this?" I asked. I'd heard a couple of screaming matches between the pair before now.

Edward smiled wrily. "Yes, but it's only about us occasionally. I swear they enjoy fighting. Well, they enjoy the making up after. The rest of us have to shut our ears - and me, my mind - or it'd make us all blush, whether we're capable or not."

I grinned. "Remember that time we fought? You were pissed at me for kissing Bella and threw me against my car?"

"Don't remind me. I'm sorry," Edward grimaced.

"It didn't hurt, I was just winded. I was mad as hell though, because I had to admit to myself that you're a lot stronger than I am."

Edward smirked. "I guess I wounded your pride more than your body, then."

"Uh huh." I folded my arm tighter around his neck and drew him closer. "I can't remember what it was like hating you."

"Me neither."

I reluctantly left him an hour later and made it home just before ten. Dad had already retired and I went to bed too, wishing I could be with Edward every night. I hated sleeping alone and always counted off the days until the weekend when I could be with him day and night.

The next day Embry came by the garage after school. It was around a week since I had spoken to him, all of the guys busy with study now and me spending every spare minute with Edward. But for once my friend had no homework and came over to hang out with me rather than go straight home. I took some bottles of coke out of the small fridge I had in the garage and passed him one.

"You're so lucky, not having to go to school," he grumbled. "I fucking hate Math...and Biology...and everything, actually."

I grinned. "Running my own business certainly beats classes. How's everyone else?"

"Yeah, good." He beamed suddenly. "I had a date Saturday."

"A date? You?"

"Fuck off, Jake, you think no one would want to date me?"

"Well, it'd be a first," I teased. "So who's the unlucky lady? I'm assuming it's a lady..."

"Jeez. No, it's a wolf. Well, a lady wolf." Embry flushed slightly and I stared at him.

"You're dating Leah? How did that happen? I thought you were too chicken to talk to her?"

"Huh, well, turns out she noticed me gawking at her one time too many and pulled me up about it. Whilst praying for the ground to open up and swallow me I confessed I liked her and _she_ asked _me _on a date."

"No kidding! You and Leah...so how'd it go?"

"Awesome." He grinned wider. "We're going to hang out for a while after school tomorrow and I'm taking her to the movies Friday."

"That's great, Em, I'm glad for you," I said. "So, what about the others? I never get to hear anything any more."

"You're never around," Embry said. "They're all ok, except Paul and he's just...you know...Paul. How's Edward?"

"Good."

"Dare I ask if you got to stage three yet?" he teased.

"Umm..." I felt my face colouring up immediately and avoided his eyes.

"Shit, Jake, what he does he think about you eyeing him up?"

"Imprints work both ways, Embry," I said uncomfortably. Embry had always been the nosiest one in the pack and had always teased me endlessly about my feelings for Bella. Not very long ago I could never have imagined myself wanting to be with a boy and I wasn't sure whether to say anything or not. Would my friend be horrified that I was...gay?

"Did something happen?" Embry prompted.

"You don't really want to hear about my Imprint," I sighed.

"Oh, yes, I do."

"And the minute you leave here you'll go and tell all the others."

"I won't; not even Quil if it's such a big secret."

"It's not a secret, I just don't think you want to hear about me and Edward."

"If I didn't, I wouldn't have asked. We used to tell each other everything. I didn't tell any of the others how I felt about Leah until after we got together."

"I'm in love with him," I blurted.

"Fuck me! That happened fast!" Embry exclaimed. "Does he know?"

"Yeah, he feels the same."

"I guess that's why we never see you then, Imprint or not."

"Yes, it's lucky Carlisle lets me go over there any time I want, otherwise we'd be meeting up in the forest every day," I told him.

"Jake, what I don't get is, you were never interested in guys, right, so why would that change suddenly? Wouldn't the Imprint work the same way as if it was a kid and you'd just be a friend?"

"I thought it would at first; I _hoped_ it would stay like that. Hell, I didn't want to even think about getting it on with a guy, much less a vampire, but it somehow changed without me noticing."

"But they feel..._dead_," Embry said, wrinkling his nose. "And they smell and taste like rotten flesh."

"Not to me," I smirked. "Well, the rest do, but Edward doesn't. He says I don't smell like dog any more either. Rose complains about it often enough though; apparently my stink permeates the whole house."

My phone beeped and I pulled it out of my pocket quickly to find a text from Edward. 'Going hunting with Emmett, will be back by the time you get here. Love you.'

"Aww." I beamed from ear to ear like a fool as I began tapping out a reply. 'Love you too, can't wait to see you.'

"Is that him?" Embry asked. "Texting each other sweet nothings?"

"Yeah."

"Jeez, you have got it bad."

"I just wish he could come over," I sighed. "Carlisle agreed to me being there any time I want and he didn't have to. I don't suppose he enjoys having a wolf in his house, but he understands Edward and I need to see each other. My Dad does too, but he doesn't make the rules, does he?"

"Why don't you talk to Sam again?" Embry suggested. "The others don't really care any more, I think they got used to the fact that you're with a lee - Edward. It's only Paul who still goes off about it."

"There's no way Sam will agree to Edward being on the Reservation," I said wistfully.

"You could still ask. If he just goes straight to your house and back and he's with you, it's not like the whole lot of them are going to be wandering around here doing as they please."

"Yeah, I guess I could ask him, I just don't think he'll agree to it."

Embry stayed gossiping with me until I finished work and locked the garage. Then he went home and I took a shower and ate dinner with Dad. When I set off in the Rabbit to go to the Cullens', I found myself taking a detour towards Sam's place without having actually decided to do it. When I parked up outside he came out looking surprised.

"Jacob! Good to see you."

"You too." I shook his hand. "How's Emily?"

"Great. She's visiting her mother right now. Want to come in?"

"Sure." I followed him into the house. I immediately began to feel nervous and resigned at the same time. There was no way he would agree to Edward visiting me and I didn't know why I was wasting the time asking when I could be over at the Cullens' right now with my vampire.

"How's...Edward?" Sam seemed to have difficulty saying his name and I frowned.

"Good. I'm happy with him," I said.

"That's usually what happens with an Imprint, even if it doesn't seem likely in the beginning."

"It's more than that, I love him," I said quickly. "I know I wouldn't without the Imprint, but, anyway...what does everyone else think about it? I talked to Embry, but I haven't seen the other guys."

"They're pretty cool. Except for Paul, but that goes without saying," Sam chuckled. "You want coffee or something?"

"No, thanks, I can't stay long. I'm going to see Edward. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I know I'm wasting my breath, but since I'm here..." I paused, trying to swallow the irritation which was growing inside me. He lived with his Imprint; Jared's was two doors away from his house and mine...I had to go to him and he wasn't welcome with my pack. They only tolerated me seeing him because they knew it would kill me if I didn't.

"I think the situation I'm in is pretty unfair," I said. "Carlisle doesn't have to welcome me into his house, but he does, every day, because he knows Edward and I need each other and he likes seeing his son happy. Edward can't even set foot on the Res, not even to come to my house. Shouldn't Dad be able to say yes or no to whether I bring my..._boyfriend_ over to spend time with me?"

"Boyfriend?" Sam grimaced. "Is that how you see him?"

"I love him," I repeated. "I stay over the whole weekend with him; what do you think? That's beside the point. What harm will it do if one Cullen visits me in my house? It's not like he's going to fly around the Res feeding on the tribe's kids or anything. I know what the Elders think, but you have the final word, Sam, and you're basically banning one of your own pack from doing what he wants in his own home."

"Jacob, things are a little different here, you know that. The Cullens are one family and Carlisle can decide to have you visit or not; that's his right. I might have the final say here, but I have to think about the whole tribe, not just the pack and the Elders. There are several hundred people here and I have to put them first."

"You really think Edward would be a danger to them? He wouldn't hurt one hair on anyone's head!" I snapped.

"I'm not saying he would, but it isn't something that would remain a secret for long; you know how people around here talk. How do you think your business will do if the tribe know you have a vampire visiting you? Condoned by your father and your Alpha? How do you think Billy will be treated by his friends and neighbours? On top of that, I have control over the pack, but not the rest of the tribe. If it became known there is a leech in our midst, not only would people lose any respect they have for the pack, but they may take it into their own hands to get rid of what they perceive to be a threat."

I hadn't actually thought about that, but I was still mad and I made the mistake of blurting out the thought I had in Houston when it had been feared the pack would attack the Cullens in order to get to Jasper.

"You know I'm the true Alpha, Sam..."

Sam sighed heavily. "You want to take over from me, Jacob? Do you think that will help you? Go ahead. Take the role, bring Edward over here and see what happens. Everything I just said will still apply. You being Alpha won't change a thing; you'll be resented, the pack will no longer be trusted and you'll lose everything you have now. I don't want to fight with you about this, I just want you to think about it properly. I can imagine how you feel about Edward; I've had plenty of time to get used to the way an Imprint works. But you can't put him first above your whole tribe and if it came to it, I wouldn't do it for Emily either. She's first in my life, but she can't be first at the expense of our entire heritage."

I felt completely deflated. I had known he wouldn't agree to Edward coming onto the Reservation, but somehow his reasoning, reminding me that it wasn't all about his rules, but about several hundred people and their feelings, made me feel completely hopeless. I could be with Edward for ten years or a hundred or more, and he would never be welcome.

"What about the future?" I asked. "I know I'm still a kid, but I won't always be. I'm going to halt my aging so I can stay with him, but I know I'm going to want more than I have now. I'll want to live with him."

"Then you'll have to share a place outside of the Res," Sam said. "No one will have anything to say if you're on neutral territory; that I can guarantee. But you will have to think about the fact that the pair of you can only stay in one place for so long before people become suspicious of the way you look."

"I know," I said. "The Cullens move around every few years."

"The same will apply to you."

I nodded. "I better get going, Edward will be wondering where I am. Thanks, Sam. I know you're right, I'm just...disappointed."

"I'm sorry."

"Give my best to Emily, I'll try and stop by again soon and catch up." I went outside to the Rabbit and drove off, trying not to let the conversation spoil my mood. I had known what the outcome would be and yet still I found it difficult to accept.

When I pulled up outside the Cullens', Edward descended from one of the upstairs windows in a flash and landed in front of me, paused for a second and then yanked me against him and enveloped me in a crushing hug.

"Where've you been?"

I wrapped my arms around him and stroked my hands up and down his back. My frustration evaporated and immediately I felt happy again as I held him and felt his cold lips touch my cheek.

"I'm sorry, I had to see Sam about something. I missed you today." I kissed him hungrily until I was breathless and both of us were aroused. "I love you," I murmured. "I hate us being apart."

"I love you."

"Guys, get a room!" Emmett yelled from the porch suddenly.

Edward backed out of my arms sheepishly. "You're just jealous because Rosalie's still sulking with you," he teased.

"Yeah, like I really want to kiss a wolf." Emmett grimaced and made a vomiting noise, then laughed.

I shoved my hands into my pockets to cover up my excitement and followed Edward into the house and up to his room. The minute the door closed I pulled him into my arms again. So long as I could be with him like this, it didn't really matter where.


	22. Chapter 22

**As always, thank to to everyone for reading and I appreciate the reviews! :o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

The next few weeks flew by as the garage became busier and I spent every available minute with Edward in between. I had started staying over both Friday and Saturday nights now and at first worried Dad would complain that he never saw me, but luckily he understood. I would take off to the Cullens' immediately after dinner on Friday night, return to the Reservation to work Saturday morning, see Dad for lunch and then disappear until Sunday night.

As time went on I only fell more deeply in love with Edward and he clearly felt the same. Much as he hated to think of himself as clingy, that was exactly what he was. When we were together he wanted to touch me constantly, even if it was only to hold my hand and I would receive texts several times a day from him when I was working. A few months back, I couldn't have imagined myself appreciating such attention from anyone, but with Edward it was heart-warming, thrilling and exactly what I wanted. I loved the constant contact with him and the twenty-odd hours between me leaving him at night and seeing him the next evening were rapidly becoming too long. I had started calling him every day in my lunch breaks just to hear his voice and tell him I loved him so that I could get through the next six hours before he would be in my arms.

I had been looking forward to Thanksgiving throughout November - not for the celebrations, because the Quileutes didn't recognise it and the Cullens didn't eat, but because Dad and Charlie always spent the long weekend together sharing a turkey, too many beers and hours of ball games on TV while I was left with the Clearwaters when I was younger, and to my own devices now. I had no jobs booked in at the garage and planned to go to the Cullens as soon as Charlie picked up Dad and stay there until Sunday when he came home. Carlisle was taking Emmett and Rosalie to visit the others in Alaska again which meant Edward and I had the house to ourselves for almost four whole days.

I took a shower, ate breakfast with Dad and then grabbed a bag and stuffed a spare pair of pants, several shirts, shorts and pairs of socks into it and made sure I had the power cable for my phone and my wallet. As soon as Charlie arrived I was out of the door and in the Rabbit, my heart pounding with excitement, while my chest ached from the twelve hours' separation from Edward since I left him the previous evening. He appeared in a blur outside the front door before I had even switched the engine off and I shoved the door of the car open, leaped out and grabbed him in my arms.

"Four whole days!" I exclaimed excitedly.

"What are we going to do with all the extra time?" Edward grinned.

"Plenty of this..." I slid my hand up to cup the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss. His cool lips parted against mine and I thrust my tongue in, tasting his sweetness and moaning into his mouth as my cock immediately began to stiffen. I drew away after a moment and turned back to the car to get my bag. "And I thought we could go on a date...if you want to."

We had never really gone out properly and I had been thinking about it for a while. We spent every available minute together, hunting, or hanging out in his room, kissing and touching and we had been to Ruby Beach a few times now, but we had never had an actual date and there was really no reason why we shouldn't. No one in Forks knew who or what we were. The kids who had been to highschool with Edward knew him as 'one of the doctor's weird adopted kids' and me as 'the Native with the garage', but that was all. I realised I didn't care if anyone wondered what I was doing with Edward, or saw me holding his hand and guessed I was gay and so long as he didn't mind and we didn't walk around the town on a sunny day it would be fine.

"A date? Really?" He smiled and his eyes lit up. "Will you believe me if I tell you I've never been on a date?"

"Are you serious? Didn't you take Bella out?"

"No, not like that. We just...hung out, I guess, at school or here or in the forest. Well, one time she ate and I watched in Port Angeles, but that wasn't a date - she went with her friends and I ran into her later. What about you? Date anyone before you first phased?"

"You know I didn't. I had a crush on Bella since puberty. So this is a first for both of us then."

"What are we going to do?" Edward snatched my bag from me and shot into the house.

"Hey, wait up! You know I can't keep up with you in human form!" He was at the top of the stairs and I jogged up after him. "Or maybe you just can't wait to get me in your room, is that it?"

"Maybe..."

"You're a tease. We'll never go anywhere at this rate." I slid my arms around him again and pulled him against me. He was as hard as I was.

"I can't help it, I haven't seen you since last night," he sighed.

"I'm glad you're as keen on me as I am on you, or I'd be screwed," I smirked, manoeuvring him down onto the bed. Immediately his hands were on my shirt buttons, unfastening them with lightning speed. Once he had my shirt off I turned my attention to his clothes, but I tormented him by undoing each button slowly, stroking the tip of my finger over each extra couple of inches of chest revealed, tweaking his nipples firmly until he moaned and bit his lip. The tailored pants he was wearing did nothing to disguise his erection and I determinedly ignored it, while at the same time my own strained against the front of my jeans, aching to be free and in Edward's hand.

At last Edward's shirt was off and I unbuckled his belt and slid down his zipper. His erection had escaped from the front of his shorts and immediately slid free, bumping my hand.

"You are keen," I grinned.

He stared up at me, his eyes slowly changing colour until the huge black orbs almost obscured the whites. I pushed him down against the pillows, bent over him and gave him a warm kiss while I wrapped my hand around his cock and gave it a few firm tugs, making him thrust eagerly into my hand and groan into my mouth. I sat up again and quickly removed his pants, shorts and socks, then got off the bed to get rid of my jeans. In a moment we were lying side by side staring into each other's eyes and jerking each other off vigorously, Edward's cool hand pushing me over the edge at record speed and the heat of mine making him spill his cold fluid almost as quickly. As I wiped my hand on the comforter, I wondered what it would taste like and was tempted to lick my fingers, but I didn't quite dare. I had begun to think about progressing things with him recently, imagining myself putting his cock in my mouth, teasing him with my tongue, wondering what it would feel like if he did that to me; but I was anxious about trying. First and foremost, I worried he wouldn't want to go any further than what we were doing and in addition to that, I worried I wouldn't like the taste, that I might gag, that I wouldn't make it good for him. I had always thought about that when I was alone at night, but now I was here with him and we had four days and three nights together, I longed to give it a try, however it might turn out.

I sat up now and grabbed some of the tissues from the box Edward had started keeping on his bed table for the sole purpose of cleaning up after the countless episodes we had of getting each other off. I balled up the used tissues and tossed them into the basket under the computer desk, then placed the box on the bed so Edward could reach it.

"So...this date..." He panted, opening his eyes slowly to meet mine.

"I think we'll forget that and just stay here," I grinned.

Edward sat up and pulled a handful of tissues out of the box. "No, come on, where are we going?"

"You want to go to the movies?" I suggested.

"Sure. I haven't been in a few years - not since we came back to Forks." He slid off the bed and went into the bathroom to wash his hands. "I'll check what's showing in a minute."

I used the bathroom after Edward finished and he opened up his laptop and found the movie listings for the theatre in Forks. I let him choose the movie - I didn't care what we saw; I was just looking forward to actually going on a date with him.

"Stake Land," he said after a minute.

What's that about?"

"Vampires."

"You're kidding."

"No, I've probably seen every vampire movie ever made. I find it amusing how writers portray vampires in film, when they don't know we really exist. The best ones are when they think they can scare us off with garlic or religious symbols or something like that. 'Interview With The Vampire' wasn't too bad, but still unrealistic."

"Yeah, that scene with Tom Cruise having his throat cut and he bleeds all over the floor," I grinned. "Then he lives off frogs and things and reappears looking like a swamp creature. Ok, let's check it out; it'll be fun to find fault with everything."

We spent a few hours hunting in the afternoon and then set off into Forks in Edward's Volvo to see the movie at seven. We left the car in a lot close to the theatre and Edward bought the tickets. It was an R rated movie and even with my size and build, I knew I didn't look eighteen. Nor did Edward, but he had a driving permit which showed him to be nineteen. I grinned to myself as I thought his correct birth date would have announced he was a hundred and ten.

There were maybe ten other people seeing the same movie and the back few rows of seats were empty. Edward and I took the last row and sat holding hands through the trailers, then snuggled closer together, my arm around his shoulders as the movie started. It wasn't too bad and had a reasonable plot, but we still laughed at the vampire character and compared it to reality. When we left a couple hours later, I automatically grasped his hand as we walked through the theatre lobby and he didn't pull away.

"Is this ok?" I asked.

"Yes. What does it matter what anybody else thinks?"

I grinned and squeezed his hand tighter in mine, then halted as we almost ran into a group of people that I vaguely recognised. Two girls who I knew to have been Bella's friends and two guys. The blond one was called Mike - I had gone to the movies with him and Bella one time and the blood-thirsty plot made him puke. I smirked now and gripped Edward's hand tighter as the four of them stopped and stared, glancing from our faces to our joined hands and back up again. The girls' eyes were wide and mouths hanging open.

"Oh...my...God!" the brown-haired one who I thought was named Jessica said in exaggerated shock. "You two are..._together?"_

"Looks that way, doesn't it?" Edward said.

"Bella must be turning in her grave!" Mike exclaimed.

"Jeez, that was harsh," the Asian boy frowned.

Edward grimaced and I glared back at Mike. "I'm sure she'd be happy we're happy," I said. "She did care for _us _after all. I wouldn't see 'Stake Land', by the way, you might not be able to stomach it."

"What's he talking about?" the Asian girl with glasses asked.

"Fucked if I know," muttered Mike.

"Remember 'movie night with Bella' that all of you failed to show up for - except Mike here? We saw 'Face Punch'. Remember, Mike?"

"Shut the fuck up," the blond boy growled, his face flushing vividly.

"The sight of all the blood was a bit much for him, wasn't it, Mikey?"

The two girls giggled and Mike scowled and clenched his fists. Edward sniggered quietly.

"So, you two are dating, then?" the other boy asked in an effort to change the subject.

"Edward already said so," I reminded him. "Got a problem with that?"

"No, not at all. My brother's gay. Just surprised, I guess. So, you wouldn't recommend 'Stake Land', then?"

"Not if you don't want to finish the evening seeing Mike with his head down the toilet," I chuckled.

The girls giggled some more and Mike glowered at Jessica.

"We'll leave you to it," Edward said smoothly and we walked away from the others and returned to the car. We passed a number of people on the street, but none gave us more than a cursory glance and I decided I was enjoying being out in public with Edward. It was definitely something to be repeated and I began to think about other places we could go. There were lots of things to see and do in Port Angeles, most of which I hadn't had the opportunity for so far.

"We should do this again," Edward smiled as he unlocked the car.

"Oh, you like dating?"

"Yes, it seems so...normal."

"I was thinking that we should go over to PA, maybe this weekend. There's a lot more to do there than in Forks."

"Let's go Saturday," Edward said at once. "So long as it's not sunny."

As we drove back to the house, we discussed what we might do in PA and decided to set off early to give ourselves the whole day there. When we got in, Edward made me some coffee and we went into the music room for a while. He was much less self-conscious about playing the piano for me now, having gotten over the feeling that he was showing off and accepted that I just got pleasure out of watching him. He played for about an hour, starting with some sheet music and finishing up with a piece I'd never heard before. When I asked, he shyly admitted he had composed it himself.

"Wow, really? You're amazing, you know that?" I said, sitting down on the long piano stool beside him. "When did you write it?"

"A few days ago. I was playing something else and then I thought about you - your wolf - and the tune just came into my head."

"Seriously? So it's 'Jacob's Song', then," I grinned, leaning closer to kiss his ear. "I love it."

"You don't think I'm...uh..."

"Romantic? Yeah." I turned him towards me and kissed him on the lips. "I love you."

I coerced him into playing the piece over once more for me and then we turned off all the downstairs lights and went up to Edward's room. Once again I began to think about progressing things and my heart pounded unevenly, my hands shaking slightly as I cleaned my teeth and got ready for bed. Should I do something about it or put it off again? What if I tried it and he hated it and it spoiled the entire weekend? On the other hand, what if he loved it and we were able to give each other even more pleasure than we already did?

The room was lit only by the glow of the moon coming in the window and I joined Edward under the thin sheet which covered him. I knew he would be naked under it and I was already half erect as I lay down with him and pulled him closer to me. His cock nudged mine and I shivered and pressed against him. However many times we lay together like this, I never got used to the delicious chill of him, the way his hands felt stroking down my spine, his cold sweet mouth caressing mine.

"Why are you nervous?" he murmured now and for a moment I feared he was probing my thoughts, until I realised his hand was resting over my heart and he could clearly feel every uneven lurch it was giving.

"I'm not really, I'm just over-excited, like I always am," I said.

"Liar. Want me to read your mind?"

"You stay out of my mind, or how will I ever be able to surprise you with anything?" Teasing him relaxed me a little and I slid my hand down his side to his hip, then onwards over his thigh, squeezing the firm flesh and feeling his cock twitch against me in approval. It didn't seem to matter where I touched him - he had said several times the heat of me affected him in pretty much the same way his cold did me. My hand reached his knee and I stroked it back up again slowly, then moved it between us and touched his erection, rubbing my thumb over the head. He was beginning to ooze pre-cum and I circled my thumb slowly, my pulse picking up even more speed.

_'Try it,'_ I told myself. '_What's the worst that can happen?'_

I took my hand off him and drew it out from under the sheet, touched my fingers to my lips and slid my tongue out to taste the wetness on them. It was cold, sweet and faintly salty and my cock throbbed in excitement. Edward's eyes met mine, his wide and surprised. I wanted to throw the sheet off and move down there to take him in my mouth, but I wasn't sure if I would shock him, or if he wouldn't want it. Maybe I should just ask, which only seemed embarrassing. I moved closer again and pressed my mouth to his neck, nibbling his hard flesh up towards his ear and sucking on the lobe for a moment.

"Look in my head," I whispered. Not having to actually say anything made it marginally easier, although I could feel my face heating up as I sent him an image of me kissing my way down his body, taking his cock in my hand and licking the head, gradually drawing it into my mouth.

"Oh, God," he groaned softly.

_'You want that?'_ I thought.

"Please..."

I pushed the sheet down as far as I could reach and then shoved it off the bed with my feet, glancing down Edward's body in the moonlight. He was so beautiful - pale and smooth and perfectly formed; the muscles defined in arms, chest, stomach and legs, the light sprinkling of hair over his chest and the neatly trimmed area around his cock, which now quivered eagerly against his belly, the head glistening wetly. My vampire.

I drew away from him a little and pushed him onto his back, bending over him to explore his chest with my mouth, biting a nipple gently until he squirmed beneath me, his hand coming to rest on my head, fingers raking through my hair as I sucked on the hard nub while my fingers tugged at the other. My cock ached for attention, but I ignored it, wanting to focus totally on him and how good I could make him feel.

I worked my way slowly downwards, my tongue tracing a circle around his navel while my hand stroked teasingly up and down the insides of his thighs, pushing them wider and almost, but not quite, reaching his balls with my finger tips while his erection twitched desperately against his stomach, dripping pre-cum. He removed his hand from my head and curled it into a fist at his side, biting his lip and groaning as I continued to take my time. At last I cupped his balls in my hand, squeezing and tugging gently, continuing to ignore his erection for another minute or two while he writhed and shivered, his chest heaving. I loved the way he actually drew breath in and blew it out again when he was aroused even though he didn't need to.

"Jacob..." he groaned.

"Mmm?"

"Uh..."

I grinned as he squirmed and shuddered, clutching handfuls of the sheet beneath him, his nails tearing through the fabric. My nervousness of actually taking him in my mouth was replaced by eagerness to see how he reacted and I stopped hesitating, grasped his shaft firmly and swiped my tongue over the tip.

"Oh, fuck!" he hissed.

_'Exactly,' _I thought. My cock twitched, untouched against my belly, oozing pre-cum and aching. I wouldn't be in the least surprised if I came, just from what I was doing and from the obvious pleasure Edward was feeling.

I licked him again, circling my tongue around his head and tasting more of his sweetness, stroking my hand slowly up and down his length as I did so. His hips lifted off of the bed and he thrust himself harder into my hand, trying to gain friction and I pressed my other hand down onto him, knowing I couldn't pin him to the bed with my strength, but encouraging him to stay still. He did so, thighs quivering with the effort and finally I opened my mouth and guided his cock into it. I took only the head in, closing my lips around it and sucking gently, continuing to tease with my tongue. I hadn't the first clue what I was doing and I didn't know yet if I wanted to go as far as letting him come in my mouth, but even my hesitant experimenting seemed to be driving him wild. His nails drove into the mattress, punching holes in the surface and he writhed and trembled.

"Fuck...your mouth...so hot..." he panted.

I dipped my head lower, taking more of him into my mouth until his head touched the back of my throat. Immediately my gag reflex threatened and I pulled back an inch and continued sucking and licking while my hand jerked him off slowly.

"Jacob...stop...shit...I'm gonna...uh..."

I moved my hand faster and flicked my tongue against the underside of his cock, feeling the base beginning to pulse as his orgasm approached. I wasn't going to stop; I wanted to taste him properly. A few seconds more and his cold sweet fluid flooded my mouth. I continued pumping with my hand, sucking and gulping in an effort not to spill a drop, but as he spurted several times I felt a dribble of coldness run down my chin. Smirking, I released him and wiped my mouth. I loved the taste of him and he was now lying spread-eagled, panting and whimpering, his cock slowly softening as I sat up and watched, waiting for him to open his eyes. My erection throbbed against my belly, reminding me it required attention and I wrapped my hand around it and stroked myself a little.

"That was...indescribable," Edward said at last. His eyes snapped open and met mine and he grinned. "I feel weak."

"I've been thinking about it for a while," I admitted. "I just wasn't sure if I should..."

"I'm glad you did." His eyes dropped to my lap and he grasped my wrist, pulling my hand off of myself. "Stop that, it's my turn."

I hadn't known if he would want to return the favour, but now he quickly rolled over and drew me down onto my back, trailing his finger tips lightly up and down over my chest. I shivered and my cock quivered and leaked. I couldn't wait to see how it felt to be encased in his cold wet mouth. In just a few seconds I found out.

He moved suddenly with his usual speed and he was kneeling over me, his hand gripping my shaft, holding it upright as he lowered his head and wrapped his lips around me. He immediately ducked his head a little more and I felt the tip touch the back of his throat. More than half my length was in his mouth and it was my turn to clutch at the mattress, struggling to lie still as I felt his soft lips around me, his teeth scraping very gently on my flesh, the coldness of his tongue licking and exploring, his mouth sucking on me, cheeks hollowing as if he meant to pull my orgasm out of me before it had time to build.

"Oh, fuck!" I gasped. Shudders wracked my body and I resisted the urged to buck my hips and shove myself deeper into his throat. The word he used - indescribable - was ideal. I couldn't have described the way I was feeling in coherent sentences. My nerve-endings seemed to be screaming, my cock sensitive and already begin to pulse with the beginnings of my orgasm, my balls so tight they felt as if they were being sucked up into my body.

"Christ, Edward!" I cried. "I'm gonna...come..._fuck!"_ I was loud, I couldn't help myself and I squirmed and shivered, my body trying to thrust upwards while Edward's hand pinned me down easily. I heard myself groaning and swearing as I spurted into his mouth and I felt him swallowing around me, humming with pleasure as he continued until I pleaded with him to stop, too over-sensitive to stand any more.

"Oh...my...fuck..." I mumbled as he released me at last. "That was...uh..."

"Indescribable?" Edward smirked. He lay down at my side again and brushed his lips against my cheek. "I like the way you taste."

"Me too. I mean, I like the way you taste." I turned to face him and touched his face. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Jacob." He leaned closer and our lips met. Cautiously I kissed him again, sliding my tongue along his lower lip and tasting myself - musky, salty, lacking the sweetness he had, but not unpleasant. I had no doubt we would be repeating this often, although at the moment it was a relief we were alone in the house. I had no idea how I would stay quiet with his mouth on me in the future.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

We didn't do much on Friday other than hunt and lounge around kissing and touching each other at every opportunity and sharing the shower. I knew I was going to hate going home Sunday after enjoying several days with Edward like this, but I pushed it out of my mind and thought only about the present.

Saturday morning was overcast and a light rain was falling - perfect for a trip out. Edward checked the weather forecast for PA just in case and discovered it was raining there too. We set off right after I ate breakfast and arrived before ten, parking up in one of the harbour lots. The sky was dark and the ground wet although the rain had stopped falling and we walked around the harbour first, exploring a large market with a hundred or more stalls selling everything from food and freshly squeezed juice to clothing, toys and random gifts. Edward spent a while at a music stall looking through endless boxes of old vinyl records, reminiscing about listening to them before the creation of CDs. He apparently had a huge collection of vinyl in a cupboard in the music room, but didn't often play them.

"I looked everywhere for this about sixty years ago," he whispered as he examined one particular album of a singer I had never heard of. "It was a special edition."

"Fifty dollars for an album? Really?" I said, glancing at the price sticker on the corner.

"I'm surprised it's not more. They only made a thousand copies; these are highly collectable." He put the album back in its box with a sigh.

"Not going to buy it?"

"I buy too much clutter; the others are always complaining that I fill the house with junk."

"It's not junk if it's something you want." Grinning, I pulled the album out again and handed it to the stall-holder to bag up while I got my wallet out.

"Jacob, you can't," Edward protested.

"I can buy you a gift if I want." I couldn't quite believe I was handing over fifty bucks for an ancient old record, but it didn't matter if it was something special to him. I took the bag and handed it to him. He beamed at me, his eyes shining.

"Thank you; I didn't expect this."

"I love you, I want to give you things that you want," I said in a low voice.

"You already do, just by being with me."

I grabbed his hand in mine and held onto it as we continued to walk around the market. One or two people gave us disapproving looks, but most were too busy going about their own business to pay any attention. I spotted a stall selling Native gifts and made a beeline for it. They were supposed to be for the tourists, but I had always been fascinated by dreamcatchers. I'd had one hanging over my bed when I was a kid and I bought one for Bella once. As we approached the stall, I spotted the back of two very familiar heads looking at the crafts and grinned to myself. Embry and Leah, clearly out for the day and probably avoiding the annoying teasing of the rest of the pack. I let go of Edward and clapped both of them on the shoulders, making them jump and growl.

"Hey, guys, what are you doing here? Secret date?"

"Everybody knows now," Embry said with a grin. Leah scowled and then pulled her lips back from her teeth as she spotted Edward behind me.

"Leah, be nice," I said. "We're on neutral territory here."

"Hey, Edward," said Embry, giving him a grin. I could have quite cheerfully hugged my friend at that moment.

"Hey." Edward approached, but kept a little distance between them. Leah nodded slightly and her frown disappeared to be replaced with a resigned look.

"You here for the day?" I asked. I talked to them for a few minutes while Edward looked at the things on the stall and Embry said they were planning to go out on one of the boat tours in a little while. I had thought about suggesting that to Edward too and I wondered if we could all go. I didn't think Leah would be too keen, however.

"Why don't you two come with us?" Embry asked before I could suggest it.

Leah bit her lip. "Since when did you become a diplomat?"

"We hardly ever see Jake," he said. "Where's the harm? Edward's alright."

"I guess. He seems ok for a lee..." She stopped and coughed.

"Really? Well, I'll ask him." I turned to look for Edward and spotted him snatching a small bag from the stall-holder and stuffing it into his pocket. "What's that?"

"Nothing," he grinned.

"I was going to suggest we go out on a boat; Embry and Leah are going too, what do you think?" I asked.

"Won't they object to my presence?"

"Embry's fine and Leah seems to want to make the effort. Most of your family accept me; it'd be good if at least a couple of my friends would spend time with you."

Edward nodded at once. "Let's do it."

The four of us headed down to the dozens of moored boats and looked for one of the touring ones. We had only ten minutes to wait and Embry and Edward went to buy tickets while I waited with Leah.

"We miss seeing you around," she said grudgingly after a moment.

"Yeah, I miss you guys too," I replied at once.

"I guess you can't be away from him too much."

I shook my head. "You've seen how Sam and Jared are. How's it going with Embry?"

"Good." Much to my surprise her eyes lit up and she smiled. "I wish one of us could have Imprinted, but even so, it's great. I think I might...love him." I was further astonished when her cheeks turned pink and I beamed at her.

"I'm glad for you - really. I know he's crazy about you."

Leah actually giggled. "I know you Imprinted and all, but I don't get how you can be close to...Edward," she said slowly. "Even if he wasn't a vampire, he's...a he."

"Things changed. I love him," I said simply. "It's not even about what sex he is. At first I worried about it, about having feelings for a boy, but now it just doesn't matter...he's my life."

"I'm sorry I haven't been very friendly. That day when all of us went over to their house and Paul attacked - I was considering backing him up for about a minute; I felt guilty about it ever since. Paul's still being a jerk, but although we find it hard to understand, none of us would hurt Edward, whether he's your Imprint or not."

"Thanks," I said. The more Leah said, the more she surprised me and I guessed Embry was having some influence on her. She had been bitter over Sam for such a long time that she always took it out on everyone else, but being with Embry seemed to have given her a hint of sweetness. "You don't mind going on the boat trip with us then?" I asked.

"No. I might even talk to him," she smirked. "So long as I don't have to sit close enough to smell him."

The pair returned with the tickets a moment later and we went to board the boat. There were only another half dozen people taking the trip and they sat on the lower deck. The four of us climbed the steps to the top and Leah pulled out her phone and began taking pictures of the harbour and the open sea we were about the head for.

"Hey, Leah, point it this way," I said with a grin, tugging Edward closer to my side and wrapping my arm around him. He smiled shyly and looked at me rather than the camera. Leah took a snap and then began pressing buttons.

"I'm texting it to you, I don't want your ugly face staying in my phone, Jacob."

"What about my ugly face?" Edward surprisingly teased.

"I wouldn't dare insult Jacob's Imprint, he might deck me."

"I don't hit girls, Leah," I said.

"You would if I hurt Edward." She grinned to show she was only joking.

I realised we might actually have some fun together and pulled out my phone to look at the picture. I had a smile on my face that said I was happy as Larry and Edward was gazing at me adoringly.

"Aww," I smirked and forwarded the snap to Edward so we would both have a copy.

The boat began to move off and crossed the harbour, heading for the open sea and turning towards the west to follow the coast. Leah and Embry stood up and leaned on the railing, Leah taking more photographs. They had their backs to us and Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out the paper bag I had seen him hide quickly at the Native gift stall.

"I bought you something. It's not much. I hope you like it. You were thinking about one you had when you were a kid." He bit his lip and waited for me to look in the bag.

"Snooping through my head again," I teased, pulling out the small dreamcatcher. It was decorated with brown and white feathers and the beads in the centre were red.

"The woman said it's to ensure your dreams are always sweet and feature your heart's desire," Edward grinned.

"Like I need any encouragement to dream about you," I smiled. "I love it; thank you." I slid it back into the bag and put it in my own pocket, then drew him closer to me. "I love you."

I glanced back at Embry and Leah, still leaning on the railing and pointing at something out to sea; they were paying no attention to us. I cupped Edward's face in my hands and brought our lips together, caressing his with mine until his moan reminded me that we were out in public and it wasn't a good idea to get us too hot under the collar. I calmed things down reluctantly, but continued giving him small pecks.

"Guys! Give it up!" Embry hissed suddenly. "We got company."

We jerked apart quickly as an older couple appeared on the top deck and went to sit at the far end. I could feel my face reddening and Edward chuckled and avoided looking at Embry.

"Jeez, you two have really got it bad," my friend muttered.

"Em, leave them alone." Leah grabbed him by the front of his jacket and pulled him towards her. "You should spend more time fawning over me like that and less time gawking." She planted a kiss on Embry's lips and I whipped my phone out again quickly and snapped them before they pulled apart. Who would have thought that Leah of all people would be good company in Edward's presence?

The boat trip lasted for three hours. When we got to the halfway point and turned around, much to Edward's horror the clouds suddenly thinned, blown apart by a strong wind, and rays of sun began to creep through.

"Fuck," he muttered, glancing at the couple at the far end of the deck. They were facing our way and if the sunlight caught Edward's face or hands, they would notice instantly.

"Jake..." Embry said worriedly, apparently having the same thought as he glanced at the sky.

"I know. Edward, come here." I pulled him closer to me.

"Those people..."

"I'd rather have them disapprove of two boys cuddling than risk them seeing you in the sun," I said.

"Yeah." He turned his face into my neck and I pulled the collar of his coat up around his ears. He slid his hands inside my jacket and rested them on my chest and I wrapped both arms around him.

The sunlight landed on us just seconds later and I looked up at the sky again. It seemed to be only a small gap in the clouds and the way the wind was blowing, it would probably close up in minutes. Edward continued to nestle against me and hide his face and I shot a challenging look at the other couple, whose faces had adopted faint expressions of disgust. Leah glanced over her shoulder at the pair and then looked at us. Then she turned and faced the other way again, hands on hips.

"You two got a problem?" she said loudly. "I'm sure there are other places to sit if you don't like the view!"

"Leah..." Embry protested, reddening.

"What? Hey!" She aimed at the poor couple again. "Got nothing to say?"

"Well, really..." The man got to his feet, grabbed the woman's hand and led her to the steps. They descended quickly to the lower deck and Leah grinned triumphantly.

"There you go, Edward, you can come out of hiding now."

"Oh, God," he murmured against my neck.

"You'll get used to Leah, she just blurts things out," I grinned. "It's alright, no one else can see."

He raised his head slowly and the sun caught his cheek.

"Fuck!" Embry exclaimed. Leah just stared.

"You know, that's actually kinda cool," she said.

Edward grimaced, but a moment later the clouds drifted over the sun again and he relaxed. We got up and went to stand at the side of the boat with Embry and Leah to look at the water below and the view surrounding us. The rolling grey clouds seemed to touch the ocean in the distance and the water looked as cold and dark as the sky. All too soon the boat was back in the harbour and we made our was down onto the jetty. It was there that we said goodbye to Embry and Leah. They wanted to go to one of the local seafood restaurants and although I was hungry, I opted to grab a burger from a food stand on the market rather than join them and gorge myself in the restaurant, making Edward uncomfortable.

"We can go with them if you want," he said. "I don't mind."

"I'm not going to let you sit and watch the rest of us eat. I'll just grab something quick. Anyway, I want you to myself again."

I grabbed a fried chicken sandwich and a coke from a nearby stall and gulped down the lot in five minutes. Edward eyed me a touch wistfully and I raised an eyebrow.

"Fried chicken was one of my favourite things to eat; my mother made it for me when my father was out. He thought we were too good to eat that type of food. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy."

"My Mom used to make that too," I said. "Now Emily does, only I tend to not hang out there any more."

"Because of me." He looked sad.

"Hey..." I wrapped an arm around him. "Don't do that. I'd rather be with you than anywhere else. I'd spend every minute of every day with you if I could."

He smiled again. "Sometimes I just think that you're having to give up too much to be with me."

"Not so much," I said. "Look at Em and Leah...most of the others will be ok too. Maybe one day, when I'm older, I can get a place to live outside of La Push where you can be with me and my friends can visit if they want."

"You'd do that? Leave the Reservation?"

"Sure." I didn't even hesitate. "If I was eighteen I'd be trying to find a way to do it now, but Dad will never let me leave until then."

"When's your birthday?" Edward asked.

"January fourteenth, which means I have just over thirteen months to go." Thirteen months. Right now it seemed like a lifetime, but turning eighteen would open up a number of doors for me. I could rent a small apartment or a trailer or something - anything I could afford where I could have Edward with me - and I couldn't wait.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in Port Angeles. Edward wanted to go to a sealife museum and although it wasn't something that would generally have interested me, I would have done anything to please him and I actually found that I enjoyed it once I got in there. I bought another snack after we left and Edward drove while I ate, trying desperately not to drop crumbs in his nice car. The heavens had opened again by then and he took his time, the windshield wipers going full speed.

By the time we reached his house, the sky was black and the rain torrential. Edward was thirsty, but unwilling to go hunting in the downpour, so instead he took two packs of blood from Carlisle's surgery and poured them into a large foam cup to drink. I helped myself to some coffee and we curled up on one of the couches in the main lounge to watch a movie. Edward snuddled against me, his hand inside my shirt, his lips teasing my ear or my neck every so often and by the time the movie ended, I grabbed the remote control and turned the set off.

"You don't want to watch anything else?"

"Not if you're going to lie there damn well teasing me all night," I grinned. I was horny as hell and the way he had been pinching my nipples for the past five minutes wasn't helping.

"Want me to stop?" He took his hand off of my chest and shifted slightly, his erection nudging against my leg.

"No, I want you to come upstairs with me and get naked."

He lowered his eyes and grinned, then pulled away from me and got to his feet. Before I could even sit up, he had vanished. Chuckling, I jumped up and ran for the stairs, grimacing as my cock pulsed uncomfortably in my pants. A moment later I burst into his room and there he was, lying on the bed face down without a stitch on.

"Damnit, how do you move so fast?" I began to laboriously unfasten my shirt and dropped it on the floor. Edward propped his head up on one hand and watched with interest as I dropped my pants, my erection tenting the front of my shorts. A damp patch had spread around the head and I grimaced as I pulled them down and kicked them off. Once again, Edward moved like lightning and I found him kneeling beside the bed, his cool fingers wrapped around my cock as he began licking the head.

"Oh, fuck," I gasped. "Jesus." I slid my hands into his hair as he took me slowly into his mouth and rolled his tongue around, sucking and nibbling. His eagerness to do this again surprised me and pushed me rapidly towards orgasm. Cursing silently, I breathed deep in an effort to hold off, but it was a losing battle. His cool mouth sucking on me greedily, one hand squeezing and sliding up and down the base and his other hand caressing my balls were too much for me and shivers wracked my whole body.

"Edward...I'm gonna...come..." I panted, giving him a few seconds to pull off if he was going to. He didn't and I erupted into his throat, my legs shaking as he licked me clean and then sat back on his heels, his hands on my hips and his own erection quivering eagerly in front of him.

"Get up." I gripped his biceps and pulled him to his feet, then slid my arms around him and held him tight against me, his cock throbbing between our bellies. I was still breathless and I brushed my lips lightly against his. "You're amazing," I murmured.

"Your brain's fried," he teased.

"Gonna let me fry yours?"

I backed him towards the bed until his legs bumped against it. Still keeping him tight against me with one arm, I leaned down and lowered him onto the mattress. We crawled and shuffled backwards into the middle and I pushed his thighs apart with my knee and lowered myself between them. He groaned and squirmed beneath me and my half-softened cock quickly began to grow again. For the first time I let my thoughts linger on what it might feel like to be inside of him. It had crept into my mind a few times and I'd always pushed the thought away, knowing it wasn't going to happen any time soon, but now I couldn't stop myself. His legs were spread out under me, his arms around me and our cocks throbbing against each other and I imagined myself pulling back a little, guiding myself down there...into him. I could only imagine what it would feel like - ice cold tightness around me - and I shuddered and ground myself against him. Would he ever let me do that, I wondered? Would he want to do it to me?

I glanced at his face, hoping to God he wasn't reading my mind at that moment, but I guessed if he had been he would have pushed me off. Instead he gyrated under me while his eyes remained closed, head thrown back and throat exposed to me. I ducked my head and nibbled my way around his neck, lifting myself off of him reluctantly and making my way slowly backwards while my lips and tongue traced a path down his body, pausing to lick and bite each nipple, then continuing down until the head of his cock bumped my chin. I sat up, pushed his legs down and kneeled astride them as I bent over him again. I wanted to do it better this time.

Edward groaned and stretched his arms up behind him, gripping the carved wooden head of the bed as I wrapped my hand around his cock and delicately licked the head. His thighs quivered and his chest began to rise and fall unevenly. I dipped my tongue into his slit, tasting his sweetness and then opened my mouth slowly and drew him in. With just the head in my mouth, I rolled my tongue around it and sucked hard, cupping his balls in my free hand squeezing them. His butt lifted up in an effort to push himself deeper into my mouth and I sank my teeth in gently.

"Mmm-mnh," I mumbled.

Edward moaned in protest and sank down again, trembling. Tentatively I dropped my head lower, my hand gripping him firmly as I breathed through my nose and relaxed my throat. I had almost gagged the first time, but taking it slow, I realised I could get almost all of him in my mouth. My nose brushed his soft pubic hair and I began to slide my mouth up and down, sucking and flicking my tongue against him, following the movement with my hand until he was panting and groaning loudly, his body shuddering and his hands splintering the wood he was gripping onto. His balls tightened and his cock began to pulse as his orgasm crashed through him and I moved my hand faster, pumping him as he exploded into my mouth and spilled down my throat, almost yelling my name. This time I didn't spill a drop and I released him slowly and stretched out beside him, my still hard cock bumping against his hip. He turned towards me and touched his lips to mine, then slid his hand down and wrapped it around me.

"That was so good," he whispered.

My cock twitched in his hand as he began jerking me off again slowly and I closed my eyes and held onto him until I came in his hand a few minutes later, my body instantly feeling drained as I gasped for breath. I was dimly aware of Edward cleaning me up with something that felt like my own shorts and then I was drifting into sleep with his arms wrapped around me and his lips touching my cheek.

* * *

**A/N** First, check out a few great authors if you haven't already:- ant1gon3, elfprincess8, Lineia

Second, I am very excited to report that I've been nominated for a Fandom Choice Award under the Slash category for my story "Conflicted". I'd love it if you could hop on over there and vote for me :D Go to fandomchoiceawards dot com, go to the Nominees section, scroll down to Vote Now - The Quileute Wolfpack and you will find "Conflicted" under Best Slash. Thanks so much and if whoever nominated me is reading this, huge thank you to you! :D


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you, as always, for reading and taking the time to review - it's always good to know you're enjoying the story! Time for a little more angst now ;o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Our last day together passed all too quickly and I left Edward at eight on Sunday night and we returned to our routine of seeing each other as much as we could and longing for more. Dad had enjoyed his few days with Charlie and Edward told me that the rest of his family had a good time in Alaska. Jasper and Alexa would be able to return in three or four months' time, but prior to that they intended to marry. Eleazar, one of the Cullens' cousins, was a minister and he would marry the pair at their home the week after my seventeenth birthday. I knew Edward would go - he wouldn't miss his brother's wedding, especially as Jasper had asked him to be his best man - but I worried about the trip there. As yet it had only been mentioned casually and I knew in my heart that Edward wouldn't go without me, but the Denali coven was another matter. How would they feel about a wolf turning up at their home?

As Christmas rushed upon us I put it out of my mind. I took Dad to the Clearwaters' house for Christmas Day as always and this year Charlie came too. The house was full and I spent most of my time with Leah and Seth, glancing at the clock repeatedly all afternoon and longing to see Edward. I had slipped away twice to call him for a few minutes and he had told me things were quiet at his home. The family had all gone out hunting, exchanged gifts and then parted company. Emmett and Rose were in their room, Carlisle had gone to the hospital and Edward was playing the old record I bought him from the market in PA.

I couldn't leave until late evening after I drove Dad home and he took pity on me as I fidgeted and chewed my nails for the last hour of the visit. The minute he was settled back in his chair in the lounge, he told me to get over to the Cullens' and stay there until morning. Delighted, I grabbed the gifts I had for Edward - a pair of subtle gold cufflinks and some sheet music for a couple of his favourite musicians - and raced over there in the Rabbit. I was embarrassed to discover Edward had spent a ridiculous amount of money on me with a new leather jacket to replace my old worn one and a set of fenders for the Rabbit which I had eyed up in a store in Forks when we spent a day there the previous week.

I felt guilty that he spent so much and told him the gifts were enough for both Christmas and my birthday, but three weeks later not only was I given a party at the Cullens' house, which Embry and Leah had been invited to, but gifts from the whole family. Carlisle gave me a new music system for the Rabbit and Emmett and Rosalie's present was some CDs which I knew Edward must have told them I wanted. Edward himself gave me a small slim box wrapped in shiny blue paper, telling me as I had begged him not to go mad with gifts he had chosen something small. Small it may have been - inexpensive it was not. The box held a silver necklace, heavy-linked without being chunky and long enough not to break if I phased without warning. It would merely stay in place and tuck itself into my fur. I tested it out that evening when I hunted with Edward and the necklace stayed snugly around my neck in wolf form as intended.

When we returned to the house, Carlisle spoke to us about Jasper's impending wedding. It was the following Saturday and the plan was for the family to fly up there on Friday afternoon and return Sunday. I was invited and Carlisle had arranged with Eleazar that Edward and I would stay in the empty gatekeeper's cottage at the edge of the Denali property. The family were uneasy about me attending, but Carlisle had managed to persuade them that the connection between Edward and I meant Edward needed me there. Dad didn't mind me making the trip and I arranged my bookings for the garage to exclude Friday and Saturday.

I had explained awkwardly that I didn't possess a suit I could wear for the wedding, but Carlisle scoffed and announced that he, Emmett and Edward all required new suits and took my measurements so that he could buy an extra one for me. I insisted on paying for my own and Carlisle took only a hundred dollars from me as a contribution, but subsequently presented me with a suit, shirt, tie and shoes, which probably cost a grand or more.

"Don't worry about it, he's starting to see you as a kind of son-in-law," Edward blurted and then bit his lip and avoided my eyes.

"You think he wants me to make an honest man out of you?" I joked.

"Um...you can't, you're too young."

That was the end of the brief conversation, but it reminded me that ultimately, Edward did want to be married. To me, it didn't matter one way or the other, but it was important to him and I wanted to give him everything that would make him happy. In addition, I wanted to progress things physically and although I had tentatively tried a couple of times, he had skilfully avoided it without really seeming to. I had even gone to the extent of an embarrassing episode of research on the internet into 'gay sex' and read through details with my face burning as I imagined myself doing those things with Edward. To my mind actually having sex with him was a lot different from just fooling around with hands and mouths. I had even bought lube and hidden it in my underwear drawer, but there it remained, unopened. We were both still virgins and likely to remain that way because although Edward had gotten over his worries about being with a boy, he didn't feel any differently about taking the final step before marriage. I decided to talk to him about it again when I got the opportunity, but for the moment everyone was focused on Jasper and Alexa and the impending flight to Alaska.

I wasn't particularly looking forward to meeting the Denali coven. Edward said very little about them except to tell me their names - Tanya, the leader and her two sisters, Irina and Kate, and Eleazar and Carmen. They were vegetarians like the Cullens, but Rosalie had said more than once that the first three girls were more like sisters to her than cousins and very similar in their outlook. Being in the company of three more Rosalies wasn't something I welcomed. In addition, Eleazar had once been a Volturi guard, having only joined the Denali coven along with Carmen a few years before.

"They have no loyalty to the Volturi," Carlisle had said. "Eleazar left the guard because their disregard for human life began to revolt him. He wanted a more peaceful life, as we do."

I wasn't completely convinced that he and his family would remain peaceful when they saw me, but all I could do was hope for the best and trust the Cullens to ensure there was no trouble.

We drove to the airfield close to PA on Friday morning and flew to the Denalis' private runway in the north of Alaska. They were clearly even richer than the Cullens and I instantly felt out of my element when the whole family arrived in Wrangler SUVs to greet us. Esme, Jasper and Alexa climbed out of one vehicle and hurried towards us while the Denalis hung back initially. Two of the pale blonde vampires caught sight and smell of me quickly and both hissed as if they intended to attack. Rosalie went to join them immediately, addressing them as Irina and Kate, and Jasper eyed them evenly. I suspected it was his intervention that calmed the pair, but they continued to glower in my direction and refused to even acknowledge Edward. The remainder greeted all of us including me, politely, although the third blonde, Tanya, and the couple, Eleazar and Carmen, all carefully avoided shaking my hand. I felt extremely uneasy and Edward slid his hand into mine, earning further unpleasant stares from Rosalie's companions.

Edward and I travelled back from the airstrip in the vehicle Esme, Jasper and Alexa had arrived in. Alexa was quiet, I noticed, but calm, a gentle smile on her face as she held onto Jasper's hand and he looked a lot different than the last time I had seen him, his face relaxed and happy.

Esme stopped the car at the gatekeeper's cottage, some quarter mile from the main house, while the other two vehicles continued.

"I'm so sorry to banish you like this," she said, as she unlocked the cottage and showed us around. Quite honestly, I would have preferred the cottage to the huge imposing house at the end of the driveway, even without the Denalis hating my presence.

"Me too," Edward whispered.

_'Don't you get along with them?' _I thought.

"Most of them are ok. Kate can be very vindictive; she disables her victims with an electric current that she can project through any part of her body. Tried it on me a few times for fun years ago." He shuddered at the memory. "I'd just rather not be in an environment that makes things difficult for you."

_'I'll be ok, it's only two days.' _I squeezed his hand and then spoke aloud. "So did you prepare your best man's speech yet?"

"Oh, God, I've rewritten it about fifty times," Edward groaned. "I need to try it out on you."

"I'll leave you to it, boys," Esme said. "Jacob, I stocked the refrigerator for you, there's plenty for you to eat in there."

"Thanks, Esme, I appreciate it," I said at once.

"Try not to take offence over anything our cousins may say."

"He'll be fine, he's used to Rose," Edward grinned.

Alone in the cottage, Edward practised his best man's speech, which I thought was word-perfect and he continued to worry over. Then Emmett and Jasper came down to the cottage and the four of us went hunting, Emmett taking every opportunity to tease Jasper about being so quick to give up his freedom again and Edward adding more seriously that he knew Alice would have been happy to see Jasper move on with his life. The few hours we all spent together were fun and Edward stayed up a little longer and went over to the main house while I went to bed in the cottage. When I stirred a few hours later it was to find him slipping into bed with me and snuggling into my arms.

The wedding took place on the cliff top at the far end of the Denalis' enormous property, a pagoda set up where Jasper and Edward stood with Eleazar awaiting the arrival of Alexa in one of the family's cars. Carlisle was to give her away and I stood a little distance from Emmett and Rosalie while the ceremony took place. Edward joined me as soon as he was able and I grasped his hand tightly as we walked back towards the house for the party. Carlisle drove Jasper and Alexa back and what followed was a long series of speeches from Carlisle, Edward and Jasper and then dancing.

Edward's role as best man was now done and he could spend the rest of the afternoon with me. We stood watching some of the others dance, Edward's back leaning against my chest and my arms around him. He must have been able to feel my heart banging against his shoulder, but he simply rested there and said nothing. I had things I wanted to say - things that had been whirling around my head since I watched Jasper and Alexa say 'I do' - and I didn't know how to go about saying them. I doubted Edward had read my mind as he would have been certain to give some sign at least.

"Do you want this?" I whispered, taking one hand off him to gesture at the room.

"Um...I'm not sure what you...mean." He licked his lips and shuffled his feet.

"Yes, you do. A wedding. For us." I gulped and my mouth went dry. I knew I was making a lousy job of it; whatever _it_ was. To me, it sounded like an extremely clumsy proposal.

"Yes," Edward said quietly. "Do you?"

"Yeah." I heaved a sigh of relief and my breath rushed out into his ear. Edward trembled and turned his head to the side. I brushed my lips against his jaw. "You'll marry me?" I said more succinctly.

"Yes."

I grinned. "I know we're too young - well, I am - but I guess there are ways around it if we don't want to wait until next year. I mean, Eleazor just married two vampires..." I broke off. "I guess he's not going to be keen on doing the same thing with a wolf, though."

Edward smiled. "Probably not. Let's wait until we get home and talk about it." He turned around suddenly and met my eyes. "You're not just doing this because of...you know...my thing about having a..." He paused and coughed, dropping his eyes from mine again. "...wedding night. Because I already decided I would; just...not yet."

"Edward, don't change your mind to please me," I said firmly. "This was special to you. You can't spend almost a hundred years planning on how you want to do something that's important to you and then change your mind at the last minute. I can wait..."

"I'm not sure I can," Edward said with a smirk.

I raised an eyebrow. "You don't mean that, not really. However many hurdles there might be to get around, I _will _marry you first."

"I love you," Edward murmured. "And you're right, so thank you."

We held onto each other and shuffled our feet, moving slightly to the music. I closed my eyes and rested my cheek against Edward's, my hands linked together around his waist, imagining that this was our own wedding; that later I would take him to bed and make love to him. My cock quickly began to lengthen and rise in the smart suit pants and I wondered if Edward was thinking the same things as I felt his response.

"You two are taking all the attention off of the bride!" Emmett guffawed suddenly, right in our ears. We jumped apart and Edward scowled at him.

"Leave us alone, go dance with Rose," he grumbled.

"She's busy with her sidekicks." Emmett wrinkled his nose and jerked his head in the direction of an open doorway. I could see Rosalie, Irina and Kate huddled together on one of the sofas, looking as if they were plotting something. "Bitches," he added.

"You don't like the Denalis?" I asked.

"Who does? Those two, anyway. Tanya and Carmen are nice enough. Watch your back while you're here, mutt." He punched me none too gently in the shoulder and walked off. He still called me 'mutt' on occasion, but in a strangely affectionate way rather than as an insult.

The rest of the weekend passed without incident although I kept a close eye on the Denali girls whenever they were close by. I didn't trust them and nothing Edward said made me feel much better. If Kate would hurt him just for fun, God alone knew what she would do to me, given the chance.

We left early Sunday afternoon and Esme came back with us. Jasper and Alexa no longer needed supervision and it wasn't like they would be completely alone. They planned to move into the gatekeeper's cottage for the rest of their time in Alaska to give themselves the privacy a newly married couple needed. Once again I thought about Edward and me. If I married him, where would we live? Dad would never let me leave home before I was eighteen, even if I did have a husband. Maybe he would let me move in with the Cullens...

I put it out of my mind again as we landed and made our way to the two cars which waited in the hangar. Edward and I travelled back in his Volvo and the others rode together in one of Carlisle's cars. I spent another hour with Edward at the house before I drove home, deciding I should at least see Dad for a while before the day ended. Carlisle left a short while before I did, having been paged by the hospital.

I parked the Rabbit outside and headed into the house. It was curiously silent, when usually the television would have been on. I looked in the lounge and then the kitchen, but both were empty.

"Dad? You in bed already?" I tapped on his door and opened it, but the room was empty, the bed neatly made. I wondered if Charlie or Sue Clearwater had come over to get him for the day and I returned to the kitchen to get a snack. That was when I saw Dad's wheelchair sitting there by itself in the corner of the room. How had I not noticed it before? Where the hell would he go without his chair? I scanned the counters and table, looking for a note, but there was none. He always left a fucking note if he went anywhere.

_"Dad!"_ I bellowed to the empty house, prickles of worry beginning to make the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I looked around the room more carefully and noticed the wall phone dangling from its cable, almost touching the floor. "Fuck!"

I picked up the phone to return it to its bracket and then dropped it again as the house door flew open and crashed against the wall. Turning around and looking out of the kitchen, I came face to face with Sam.

"What...?"

"Jacob, you need to come with me now," he said roughly. His face was dark, jaw clenched and twitching at one side.

"What happened?" I asked, following him out of the door immediately. Fear filled me as I climbed into Sam's truck and he started the engine. "Where's Dad?"

"Billy's sick," Sam said shortly. "He called Sue and told her he had chest pains. A bunch of us were over there hanging out so we came straight over. He had a heart attack, Jacob. I just came back from the hospital; I've been trying to call you."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket numbly. "I switched it off on the plane," I whispered. "How is he?"

I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer and I clenched my teeth as I waited for him to speak. A heart attack for Dad wasn't good. His diabetes had caused heart disease and he'd been managing it with pills and regular visits to the hospital for check ups for a couple of years, but we had known he wouldn't live to be an old man. But he was only forty-five years old; it was too soon.

"He's sedated," Sam said. "Sue, Leah and Embry are at the hospital and Carlisle was paged a little while ago."

"God," I moaned. "I should have been here. I hardly spend any time with him any more, I'm always with Edward. If I'd been here, maybe..." I broke off. If I'd been here, maybe I would have noticed something; maybe I could have gotten him to the hospital faster; maybe...

"Jacob, we don't know how bad it is yet, he could be fine."

"Yeah, but he might not be."

I balled my fists in my lap and waited tensely as Sam pushed the truck faster to get to the hospital. By the time we pulled up, I was rigid and grinding my teeth together, convinced that I would be too late and he would be gone. I walked slowly into the building with Sam, wanting to delay getting to where Dad was as long as possible so that I didn't have to find out. Sam spoke to a nurse and then led me into an elevator and along a series of corridors until we came upon Sue, Leah and Embry sitting on some cheap plastic chairs outside a closed door. Leah jumped up immediately, her face tear-stained, and flung her arms around me.

"How bad is it?" I asked. My mouth was so dry I could barely form the words. All I could think was that I should have been here; I shouldn't have taken off again and left him alone.

"We're waiting to hear," Sue said. "Dr Cullen arrived a few minutes ago and took over from the other doctor. He's in there now with your Dad." She indicated the closed door. There was a small glass panel in it and I peered through. Carlisle and two nurses were surrounding the bed in which Dad lay hooked up to machines, including a ventilator. His face was paler than I'd ever seen it and he didn't even look alive. His chest rose and fell, but it could be the machine making it do that.

I stood there numbly, staring through the glass, dimly hearing the voices of Sue and Sam and Leah and Embry around me, but I didn't register what they were saying. I simply waited until eventually Carlisle turned around, walked towards the door and opened it.

"Jacob." His hand landed on my shoulder and I resisted for a moment as he tried to pull me away from the door, but then I found myself sitting on the chair next to Leah, Carlisle's hand still resting on me as he began to explain what happened. Someone sat down the other side of me and held my hand and I realised it was Embry.

I didn't take in most of what Carlisle said. He seemed to be talking in a foreign language and only odd words jumped out. "...coronary...weak...comfortable...need to wait..."

"Is he going to...?" I couldn't bring myself to say 'die'.

"I'm sorry Jacob, it's too soon to know. Like I said, his heart is very weak. All we can do is wait. Excuse me a moment, I need to make a call."

Carlisle disappeared and I pulled my hand out of Embry's, rested my elbows on my knees and sunk my head into my hands. I didn't want to think about what the doctor had said, but the words ricocheted around my head. Dad could die; if he didn't, he was going to need a lot of care. I needed to be with him more, make sure he was ok, but I needed Edward too and that was impossible. If Dad made it out of here and I stayed home caring for him, how would I see my vampire?

Sam was talking to me and I realised he had taken Leah's place beside me. His hand squeezed my shoulder and he shook me gently.

"What can I do?"

"I need Edward," I whispered. At least in the hospital he could be with me. Sam tensed and he removed his hand.

"I already called him, I thought you might want him," Carlisle's voice said and as I looked through my hands I noticed his shiny shoes on the floor in front of me.

"Thanks."

"Sam, move your butt," Leah said, ushering Sam to his feet again and resuming her place beside me. "What's wrong with you? Of course he needs Edward here. One day you might actually accept they're always gonna be together."

"Leah..." Sue admonished gently.

I switched off and ignored them. I couldn't seem to feel anything except numbness. I was struggling to believe that Dad might be dying and I hadn't even known he had been getting worse. He might never wake up again and I wouldn't have the chance to tell him I loved him and that I was grateful that at least he hadn't shunned Edward and had done his best to understand. I hung my head and stared at the floor. What would I do without him?

"Jacob." A different pair of shiny shoes appeared in front of me and then Edward dropped to his knees and put his arms around me. His cool lips touched my neck and he hugged me tightly. I held onto him and suddenly the numbness gave way to pain and fear. Tears filled my eyes and began to pour down my cheeks, soaking into Edward's shirt and I clutched him tighter as if by holding onto him I could make Dad hold on too.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

After an hour or so, Embry took Leah home. Edward, Sam and Sue all stayed with me and Carlisle pointed us in the direction of a private waiting room where we could supposedly relax, but where I sat rigid and silent, gripping Edward's hand as if my life depended on it and listening to the others talk. Sue slipped out of the room for a little while and I knew she was calling my sisters to let them know what had happened. She returned to report that Rachel was heading for the airport straight away to come back, while Rebecca's husband whom she had reached was going to collect her from work and bring her home. It was over a year since I had seen either of them. Neither had made it home for Christmas this year and I prayed that they wouldn't be too late to see Dad.

Eventually Carlisle came in to report that Dad was 'comfortable' although he still required the ventilator and that I could see him for a few minutes. I took Edward with me, not wanting to let go of him even for a minute and we sat beside Dad's bed, me tentatively touching his hand with my free one and willing him to open his eyes and speak to me.

It was the early hours of the morning before we had what seemed to be more positive news. I had tried to persuade Sam and Sue to go home and get some rest, but both had refused. Sam had even spent a little while talking to Edward although I hadn't joined in. My mind was only on Dad and when Carlisle finally opened the door again to tell us he was awake, I dropped Edward's hand and leaped out of my chair.

"Can I go in and see him?"

"Of course."

I followed Carlisle quickly back to Dad's room, leaving Edward behind this time. My heart pounded anxiously and my palms were damp by the time I got to the side of the bed. I wiped them on my pants legs and grasped Dad's hand in mine. He was still wearing an oxygen mask and was hooked up to a heart monitor and a drip, but he was off the ventilator. He opened his eyes as soon as I touched him.

"Jacob." He reached up with the other hand and pulled the mask down. "Are you alright, son?"

"Dad! Am I alright? It's you I'm worried about." Tears filled my eyes and I scrubbed my other hand over them and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I shouldn't have gone away. Why didn't you tell me if you were getting sick?"

"Sshh, stop." His hand squeezed mine, a little weakly, but reassuringly. He pulled the mask up again and took a few deep breaths, then lowered it. "It came on fast; I've been feeling good lately. Don't you start with the guilt trip, I don't expect you to sit home with me on the off-chance something might happen."

"But...I barely see you, I'm always with Edward," I groaned. "Even if I hadn't gone to Alaska, I'd have been at the Cullens' house all weekend."

"Jacob!" Dad stopped again, gasping, his chest heaving with the effort of talking. I waited in alarm as he replaced the mask once more for a few minutes. "Listen to me, son. You have your own life, just like your sisters. I don't want you thinking you have to put that on hold for me. Even if the Imprint didn't tell you where you have to be, I know how important Edward is to you. You know I wasn't too thrilled with the idea at first, but I can see how happy he makes you."

"I still should have been around more," I sighed. "Rach and Becca are coming home to see you."

Dad frowned now and shook his head. "You shouldn't have worried them like that."

"They should be here, they didn't even get home for Christmas."

"We talk on the phone all the time."

"Well, Sue called them and if she hadn't I would've," I said. "They'd both go mad if they thought you were sick and we hadn't let them know."

After a moment he nodded and took another suck on the oxygen. He looked terrible and I worried that continuing to talk was getting too much for him.

"Dad, please, don't keep talking, you need to rest," I said.

"I'm alright, I've been resting." He took another few lungfuls of oxygen and carried on. "Where is Edward, anyway? Is he here?"

"Yes, he's with Sue and Sam."

"Get him in here, I want to see him."

"Why don't I just bring him in later?" I was puzzled by his sudden desire to talk to Edward and worried by the grey tinge his face was taking on.

"Jacob, do as you're told for once." Dad gave me a smile and pulled his hand out of mine. "Go on."

I got up slowly and left him. Maybe he just wanted to let Edward know he was happy with us being together. I fetched my vampire and when I entered Dad's room again with him, I was asked to leave. I withdrew reluctantly and rested my toe against the bottom of the door, keeping it open the tiniest crack so that my wolf ears would pick up what was said. I barely breathed as I listened.

"Hello, Sir," Edward said respectfully.

"Billy," Dad corrected and then paused while he wheezed and replaced his mask for a minute. "Sit down, Edward," he said then.

Edward dropped into the chair beside the bed. I bit my lip and clenched my fists. Suddenly I knew what Dad was going to say and I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to pretend none of this was happening and that he was fine.

"I haven't told Jacob this yet; I will, but I wanted to see you first. I want you to know that I wish things could have been different for you two. You understand why I haven't been able to have you visit Jacob at my home and although at first I didn't like what fate chose for him, I can see how happy you make him."

"I hope so," Edward put in.

"Trust me, you do." Dad replaced the oxygen mask again briefly and stretched his hand out towards Edward, much to my surprise. Edward slid one of his cold hands into Dad's and held it.

"I'm sorry I haven't at least let you know before now that I don't have any objections to my son being with you. Jacob's going to need you. Stupid sick heart has decided to give up on me."

I sucked my breath in hard and my heart seemed to stop for a moment. I was going to lose him. Inside I had known, but hearing him say it made it more real. I brought my fist up to my mouth and bit down on my knuckles.

"Edward...you take care of my boy for me, you hear me?"

"I will, I promise," Edward said. "Always."

Dad nodded and replaced the mask and I turned away and let the door close. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes as tears spilled down my cheeks. Edward came out a few minutes later.

"You heard." His hands rested on my shoulders and I hung my head, nodding.

"I don't want to lose him," I whimpered.

"I know. I'm so sorry." He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around my neck. I lifted my hands slowly and rested them on his waist.

"I should go talk to him again," I said shakily.

"He's sleeping. He said to come back in a couple hours." Edward backed up and began to steer me towards the waiting room. Carlisle met us outside the door and followed us in.

"May I speak in front of your friends?" he asked, indicating Sam and Sue.

"Yeah." I scrubbed my hands over my cheeks. "I already heard. How long?"

"He's very weak, Jacob, I'd say you need to prepare yourself," Carlisle said.

"Fuck." I sniffed hard. "My sisters are coming from Hawaii and New York..."

"If I know Billy, he won't be going anywhere until he's done all he needs to," put in Sue quietly.

"Is there nothing at all you can do for him?" Sam asked.

"I'm sorry." Carlisle shook his head. "His heart is in too poor condition. The meds would have supported him for some time yet, but the attack came out of the blue. His last set of tests were good, but sometimes these things happen, conditions worsen suddenly..."

I switched off and shut out their voices again. I didn't want to hear them talking about what ifs and if onlys. I just wanted him to wake up again so I could talk to him while I had the chance.

I was unaware of how much time passed, but suddenly Rebecca and her husband Solomon were in the room, Becca crying as she listened to Sue explain what had happened. I got to my feet and she threw her arms around me.

"God, Jake, I can't believe this," she wept. "Is Rach here yet?"

"No, she's on her way." I let her go and she pulled out a tissue and blew her nose loudly, glancing at Edward with raised eyebrows. "You're Edward?"

He nodded and I looked at Becca in surprise. My sisters knew nothing about what I, or the pack, or the Cullens were. If they had stayed on the Reservation, they would have been told the legends were true, but as both had left at eighteen with no intention of coming back to live, the secret hadn't been shared with them.

"Dad said you had a boyfriend." She gave me a wan smile now. "I'm glad you've got somebody."

I was even more surprised that Dad had apparently told my sisters I was gay. Both of them were broadminded and it didn't bother me, but I had thought he would have left that to me. It reminded me that it had been far too long since I even made the effort to email them.

It was another hour before Carlisle came to tell me Dad was awake again and wanted to see me and I headed for his room slowly, my hands shaking and the lump in my throat threatening to choke me. Whatever I said now, I had to make it count in case it was the last chance I got. I sat down and took hold of his hand and he squeezed mine firmly and gave me a smile, which I found impossible to return. I bit down hard on my lip to stop it trembling and held back my tears with difficulty.

"Don't look like that, son," Dad said. "It had to happen sooner or later. I'm not going far; I'll always be keeping my eye on you."

"God, don't talk like that," I sniffed. "I don't want you to go anywhere, Dad. I love you and I feel like I didn't really show it, especially not lately."

"Of course you did; you've always been there when I wanted a hand with anything and I know what's in your heart. Now, listen to me. I know you're going to make your life with Edward and that's not going to be possible, not properly, unless you leave La Push. I want you to know that's ok with me; so long as you're happy, that's what's important. Sam and some of the others probably won't like it, but you have to follow your heart and your Imprint. I love you, Jacob, and I can see that Edward is good for you."

"That means a lot to me," I said. "When it happened, I thought you would be disappointed in me."

"Never," Dad said firmly. "I've always been proud of you; never more than now. You're making your own life, running your own business and doing it well. You've always been a good boy, Jacob, and you're turning into a good man."

I scrubbed my hand over my face as tears began to drip onto my t-shirt. Hearing him say that made me happy, but at the same time it was making me sad as I knew he was making sure he said what was important while he still could. In addition, I knew he would have welcomed Edward if he had been able to. He had paused to breathe through the mask again and now he lowered it.

"In my bed table at home there's a journal; I've been writing it for years since I was your age. You can read it and then give it to Sue to keep safe. Someone might want it one day. It's not for your sisters' eyes."

"Ok," I choked. I had seen the thick leather-bound book a few times and always wondered what he wrote in there. "Becca's here, do you want to see her?"

He nodded and patted my knee. "Dry your face. No need for all that."

"Sorry. Can't help it."

I didn't want to leave the room, but I headed slowly back to the waiting room and discovered Rachel had now arrived. She and Becca both went to see Dad together and I sank back into my chair beside Edward, wiping ineffectually at my cheeks as tears continued to spill down them. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned against him.

"He gave us his blessing," I wept.

"I know." Edward rested his forehead against mine and we just sat there in silence, oblivious to Sue, Sam and Solomon.

The day and night crawled by. Dad was still hanging on and I refused to budge from the hospital even for some fresh air. I was scared that if I left for even five minutes, he would slip away and I wouldn't be there. I spent most of the time sitting by his bed either alone, or with Edward or one or other of my sisters. Sam and Sue had gone home and Solomon had gone to a hotel in Forks rather than go to our house without any of us being there. Rach and Becca remained at the hospital except for a quick trip home for a shower and change and Edward and Carlisle both remained, even when the doctor's shift was over. Eventually he did go home to change clothes and hunt, but Edward wouldn't leave me. He continually held onto my hand or cuddled me or simply sat at my side in silence and it was the middle of the next day before I looked at him properly and saw how thirsty he was. His eyes were jet black, his skin becoming translucent and his hands shook and I cursed myself for not even noticing. My throat and chest began to hurt as I focused on him and felt a little of his pain.

Now I caught hold of his hand and squeezed it, touching my head with the other hand so that I could communicate with him without Rachel wondering what we were talking about. We were currently back in the waiting room and Embry and Leah had returned for a visit and were there too. I'd noticed them glancing curiously at Edward a couple of times now and they had clearly noticed the change in him.

_'Edward, go home and hunt,' _I thought. _'I'll be fine.'_

He shook his head firmly.

_'Have you seen yourself? Don't go on suffering when you don't need to.'_

"I'm ok," Edward whispered.

_'You're not, you're shaking. Stay there.' _I drew away from him and got up. I left the room and went looking for Carlisle who had been busy for some hours. Edward didn't follow me and I was lucky enough to find the doctor in the corridor where Dad's room was.

"Your Dad's sleeping," he began.

"That's ok, I was looking for you." I lowered my voice. "Edward's thirsty. He won't leave me, but he's getting pretty bad."

Carlisle frowned. "Thank you, Jacob, I'll sort it out. Go back and sit with him."

I did as he said and fifteen minutes later Emmett appeared with a large bag in one hand. Edward introduced him to the others and then he sat down on the low table in front of us.

"How are you bearing up, mu - Jake?"

"Yeah, I'm ok, thanks."

"You look like shit, bro," he added, grimacing at Edward. "Brought you something." He pulled two bottles of cherry coke out of the bag and handed us one each. Mine was new and sealed, but I noticed Edward's had been opened - and no doubt emptied, rinsed and filled with blood. He took it gratefully and gulped the contents rapidly.

"There's more in the bag," Emmett said.

Edward nodded and muttered a quiet 'thank you.' Emmett left soon after and Edward drained another of the bottles, then shot me a small smile.

"You called him?"

"No, Carlisle did."

"Thanks."

Dad passed away late that night. I had spent an hour with him not long before and Becca and Solomon were in there when his heart finally gave up. Even though we'd all expected it to be soon, my sisters and I were as shocked as if we hadn't known he was sick. Sue, Seth and Sam were all with us at the time and it was Sue who held Rachel in her arms, while Becca and I both had someone to offer us comfort. In turn, it was Sue who took all of us back to the house later in her MPV. Even in the circumstances, I had been a little surprised when Sam quietly told Edward he could go with me to the house for the moment and when Solomon later took the girls back to the hotel in Forks, Edward and I were alone in my house for the first time. We simply lay on my bed holding onto each other and eventually I slept, exhausted and numb, with Edward wrapped around me.

When I woke I was alone. It was late in the morning and I felt hungover, sweaty and dirty and starving hungry, much to my surprise. I dragged myself out of bed into the shower, put on some clean clothes and opened my door. I found Edward in the kitchen, talking to my sisters and Solomon and making them coffee, explaining that he didn't like it. He poured an extra mug as soon as he saw me.

"Would you like breakfast?" he asked me.

"I'll find something." I pulled open the refrigerator door and stared blankly at the contents. I would usually have made breakfast for Dad before I went to work. Shit! Work!

"Jacob, sit down, I'll do it," Edward said firmly. "Don't worry about work, Embry opened up the garage and called the people you had booked in to explain and rebook those that weren't urgent. Most of them just rearranged for next week."

"What day is it?" I asked.

"Wednesday," Becca said.

I sat down on one of the stools with a sigh and watched absently as Edward began cooking bacon and eggs. I couldn't remember the last time I ate. Sue and Leah had tried to virtually force-feed me sandwiches in the hospital, but I doubted more than a few bites had passed my lips since I returned from Alaska. My stomach rumbled as I smelled the bacon and the large portion, complete with six slices of toast, was exactly what I needed.

My sisters stayed all day and Sue came over to tentatively talk about Dad's funeral. She offered to arrange everything if we didn't mind and all three of us agreed immediately. As evening approached, Solomon suggested taking all of us back to the hotel for dinner, but I declined, saying I wasn't hungry and would rather just get takeout with Edward later. After the three of them left, I went hunting with him. A few bottles of cold blood kept him going, but wouldn't have been anywhere near enough and I felt like I needed to run and kill something. I was angry now; angry that Dad had been snatched away from us at forty-five years old; that he hadn't had the chance to live his life; that he had been stuck in a wheelchair for years without even a wife at his side.

I raced through the forest, snarling and snapping at nothing, my paws pounding the damp earth, ears flattened against the sides of my head. Edward gave me some space; I knew he was there, maybe a hundred yards away, but he didn't get too close or speak or try to stop me. I kept going until I came upon a mountain goat and rather than kill it and eat some of the flesh, I tore it limb from limb, throwing chunks of it in all directions until there was nothing left but the mangled main part of its body. Shuddering, I backed away from it and headed for the river, plunging in and submerging myself for a moment to rinse the blood out of my fur. When I emerged, Edward was waiting for me silently on the bank.

_'I'm sorry,'_ I thought, slightly embarrassed.

"Don't be. Rage is normal; you need to let it out."

_'I'm ready to go back,'_ I said. _'Did you feed?'_

"Yes," Edward nodded. "Got a bear; he was after the remains of your goat."

We returned more slowly to the house and I phased back outside the door. It seemed strange to have Edward with me on the Reservation and I wondered if it were possible, if I would want him to come and live with me here, but I immediately dismissed the idea. With Dad gone, I didn't even want to be here myself. It had been his house - he and his friends had built it with their own hands when they weren't much older than me - and I didn't want to stay in it. I didn't know what I would do about it, but for the moment I put it out of my mind. I would decide what to do after we had all made it through the funeral.

I took a shower and pulled on a pair of shorts, then went into Dad's room and found the journal in his bed table. I couldn't bring myself to open it yet, but I put it in one of my own drawers and promised myself I would read it with Edward one day when I didn't feel like I would fall apart over the first page.

The next day Sue told us she had arranged the funeral for Saturday. Dad would be buried beside Mom in the graveyard on the clifftop above La Push's main beach. It was only two days away and it seemed too fast; I didn't feel like I was ready to say goodbye yet, but time swept me along towards Saturday morning and I had no choice to go through the motions of eating, showering, talking to Becca and Rach, who didn't seem anywhere near as mechanical and numb as I did. I felt lost and I knew if Edward hadn't been with me, I would have sunk. He hadn't left my side all week, except for a brief trip home to grab a few changes of clothes and Sam had told me he could stay for the funeral, but after that he would have to go before people began to ask questions. He hadn't been out of the house and been seen by anyone, but he would certainly be noticed at the funeral.

Most of the pack had been over to see me, some more wary than others. Leah, Embry and Seth of course had been happy to sit talking to Edward for hours and Sam and Emily had made efforts to be nice to him too. Jared was very wary and wouldn't bring Kim to see me while I had a vampire in the house, even if he was harmless to humans. Quil did his best to be friendly, but sat on the edge of his seat and glanced at the clock every few seconds as if he couldn't wait to take off and Paul - he called me to say sorry about Dad, but I hadn't seen him. Jared made excuses for him, but I knew he was staying away because of Edward.

Saturday came much too quickly. I crawled out of bed at eight, showered and put on the dark grey suit Carlisle had bought me for Jasper's wedding. Edward had a black suit with a long coat to wear over it and Solomon brought my sisters to the house just before ten, all in dark attire. I was surprised when Carlisle and Esme arrived too and Edward told me Sam had invited them, since Carlisle had been the one to take care of Dad in his final days, not to mention the number of times he had attended to members of the pack.

My heart banged against my ribs and I felt faintly sick as the funeral car arrived with Dad's coffin in it. We were to follow it to the cliffs in Carlisle's car and the one Solomon had hired. Edward slid his hand into mine and I gripped it tightly, dreading the fast approaching moment where I would have to say goodbye.


	26. Chapter 26

**Thank you for all the great reviews on the last chapter, and to everyone who is reading and enjoying the story. This one isn't quite such a sad one, I promise ;o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

The funeral service was short and led by Quil's Gramps. The pack carried Dad's coffin from the car to the grave and carefully lowered it into the earth and I stood silently with Edward one side of me and Rachel on the other. I wanted to hold onto Edward like he was my lifeline, but I couldn't hold his hand in front of the large number of people who had turned out to say goodbye. When it was time, I stepped forward to scatter a handful of earth, followed by Rach and Becca and each member of the Council and then gradually the crowd broke up, leaving only my family, the pack and Sue Clearwater, and the three Cullens.

I found it difficult to believe it was over. Somehow I had imagined more time would have been taken, but when I glanced at my watch I realised an hour had passed and somehow I just hadn't noticed. Dad was gone and I found that the anger I felt over the past few days had dispersed, to be replaced with a deep sadness and loneliness and this was made worse by the fact that in just a few minutes Edward would go home. I didn't want to let him out of my sight for a minute, but it was time for him to leave the Reservation and I walked over to the Cullens' car with him. Carlisle and Esme both gave me a hug and then got into the vehicle and Edward stepped closer to me. Most of the funeral party had broken up and were already walking or driving away from the graveyard, and I wasn't concerned about the pack seeing me.

"I don't want you to go," I murmured, pressing my face into his neck.

"I won't be far away. I'll see you tonight, somehow," he promised. "Just call me."

"Yeah." I pulled away reluctantly and immediately caught sight of Paul eyeing us with disgust from a few yards away. I left Edward and walked towards the others. "Something to say, Paul?" I asked tiredly.

"I guess I find it a bit much to stomach that the leeches would be here and you pawing each other is something else."

"Paul!" Sue exclaimed.

I bit my lip as Solomon looked at Paul in puzzlement. My sisters didn't appear to have noticed.

"Does he not like the Cullens for some reason?" Solomon asked.

"Paul doesn't like anybody, just ignore him," said Leah, shoving her hand firmly through Paul's arm before hustling him away. "Keep your fucking mouth shut, at least for a couple more hours!" I heard her hissing.

Embry hurried after them and the rest of us began to follow slowly. Rachel held onto my arm and we walked in silence as we made our way to the Clearwaters' house. Sue and Leah had prepared food and everyone would spend most of the afternoon there, talking about Dad and remembering things he did. It seemed endless and I longed to leave and go to Edward, but I knew I couldn't just take off, even when the day finally came to an end and I returned to the house with Solomon and my sisters. They wanted to talk about what would happen to me and the house and it was the last thing I wanted to discuss right then. I couldn't have cared less what would happen; I didn't even want to live in the damned house any more.

"Can't we do this tomorrow?" I sighed despondently, slouching in one of the armchairs and resting my feet on the coffee table.

"Jacob, put your feet down," Rachel said quietly.

"Don't start acting like a mother," I snapped at her. "You're all going to be gone in a couple of days. Who's going to tell me to keep my feet off the furniture then, huh?"

Rachel's lips trembled and she lowered her head.

"Jacob, there's no need to be like that. We all feel the same here," Becca said.

"I doubt it. You have your own lives to go back to, thousands of miles away. You think I want to go on living in this house without Dad?"

"We already talked about this," said Solomon. "Rebecca and I would like you to come back with us, at least for a while..."

"To Hawaii?" I gaped at him.

"It might do you good," Becca added. "We don't see enough of each other. You've never even seen our house..."

"Just because you two turned your back on the Res, doesn't mean I want to," I interrupted. "My life is here, my business is here and so is Edward. I'm going nowhere. I just said I don't want to live in this house, I don't want to leave the fucking state!" I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. I had thought my temper had left me, but it hadn't; far from it. I couldn't seem to control myself and everything that came out of my mouth was upsetting my sisters.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "Look, I might only be seventeen, but I've been running my own business properly for six months. It's doing well and I'm not walking away from it. I'm not walking away from Edward either."

"Perhaps you could stay with the Clearwaters, then," Rachel said. "They did offer, if you don't want to be here. Sue spoke to me earlier."

"Yeah, well I'll figure it out when you go back."

I sat in a sulky silence for the rest of the evening, listening to the others talk. I hated the way I was behaving, but I couldn't seem to do anything about it. If they hadn't been here I would have gone out and phased and probably spent the whole night in wolf form, but instead I sat there listening to the drone of their voices, wishing that the impossible would happen and that Dad would suddenly roll in from the kitchen.

Besides the empty space that seemed to have formed inside me from the loss of him, I was beginning to ache to see Edward and I wished the others would just go to bed so I could creep out and go to him. It was past midnight and they were showing no signs of turning in. I considered announcing my intention to go to bed and then slipping out of the window, but then finally Rachel got up and went to take a shower. A camp bed had been set up in the dining room for her and Rebecca and Solomon would stay in Dad's room.

"You should try and get some sleep, Jacob, you look exhausted," Becca said to me.

I went to my room and decided to wait until there were no further sounds from the others, in case one of my sisters were to check on me. I stripped down to my shorts and slid into the bed, lying still in the darkness and listening to the rustle of the trees in the wind outside the open window. A light thump startled me and I blinked as a figure appeared, the shadow moving towards me.

"Edward!" I whispered.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be able to get away or not."

"I was waiting for the others to go to bed so I could come out."

"Should I go again and wait for you?"

"No, stay," I said at once. The discomfort I felt had quickly disappeared and I shifted over in the bed to make room for him. He shed his clothes quickly and in seconds he was in my arms. "I hate that you had to leave earlier," I murmured. "I managed to upset my sisters; Becca and Solomon even suggested I go back to Hawaii with them. I don't want to stay here, but I'm too young to rent a place or..." I stopped as Edward's cool fingers touched my lips.

"I have a suggestion," he said. "Carlisle told me to put it to you. I don't suppose it's going to please your pack or the Council, but if you want to, you can move in with me...us."

My heart lurched and I held my breath for a moment. Live with Edward? Be with him every minute except when I needed to be at work? We wouldn't be alone, but at least we would be together.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "What about everyone else?"

"Esme, Jasper and Alexa and Emmett are all fine. Rose wasn't too impressed, but you know what she's like."

"I want to, more than anything," I said at once. "But I'll probably be lousy company for a while."

"It doesn't matter. Everybody will understand how you feel; all of us have lost people. I haven't forgotten what it's like to lose a parent, even after more than ninety years. They'll either keep out of your way or get you to join in with them doing things to distract you, whatever's best for you."

Tears filled my eyes and I hugged him against me. "I love you," I whispered. "I'll move in as soon as my sisters leave, if that's ok."

"I hoped you'd say that."

"Jacob?" Rachel tapped on the door. "Who are you talking to?"

"Shit," I breathed and then wondered what I was worrying about. She could hardly complain about him being with me when pretty soon she and the others would be leaving and he would be all I had. "Edward's here!" I called.

There was silence for a moment. "Oh! Well...goodnight."

I talked with Edward a little while longer and then finally I fell asleep, my head resting on his shoulder and his fingers combing gently through my hair. When I opened my eyes it was dawn and he was trying to slip away from me without disturbing me.

"Sneaking off without saying goodbye?" I grabbed him and pulled him closer to me again.

"I didn't want to wake you. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit, but better with you here." I brushed my lips against his. "I'll come over later, even if it's only for an hour or so. I should speak to Carlisle and Esme if I'm going to be moving in; I don't want to just turn up with all my stuff in a few days' time."

Edward smiled and got up, quickly beginning to get dressed. "I'll make some space in my closet and drawers for your things."

In a few minutes he was gone and I lay down again to catch a few more hours' sleep, but without his presence and comfort, I tossed and turned, thinking about Dad and wondering what he would have thought about me moving in with the Cullens. Was that what he meant when he said he knew I would have to leave the Reservation to be with Edward properly? Or did he expect me to wait until I was old enough to find my own home? Then I remembered what he had said to me, heard his voice in my head as if he were speaking to me again.

_"So long as you're happy, that's what's important. You have to follow your heart and your Imprint."_

I knew he would be happy for me; he would only have frowned if I sat alone in an empty house, moping.

Rach and Becca weren't quite sure that moving in with my boyfriend at seventeen was the best plan, but considering his 'parents' had invited me and would be watching out for me, they agreed eventually that at least I would be in safe hands. They didn't worry about the house since I would be at the garage working six days a week and decided to just leave it for the moment. Dad had died intestate which surprised me, but he no doubt thought he had longer to sort things out. Solomon, who was a lawyer, would deal with anything that needed to be done legally. The house and grounds would in effect be split three ways between me and my sisters, but neither of them wanted or needed anything and both agreed they would sign their shares of the house over to me when I reached twenty-one so that I could continue my business there or sell up as I wished. In the meantime, they each chose some photographs and mementos of Dad to take with them. Rachel's flight back to New York was Monday afternoon and Solomon drove her to Sea-Tac rather than let her travel the long distance by bus and train. Becca and Solomon were to leave Tuesday.

I had been over to the Cullens' to speak to Carlisle and Esme as I promised and both had told me they would be delighted to have me stay for as long or as short a time as I wished. All I had to do now was tell the pack my plans and that was the part I looked forward to the least. I knew Embry and Leah would be on my side and Seth too, but I wasn't so sure about the others. It was one thing to accept that Edward was my Imprint and that I needed to see him, but quite another for them to watch me leave the Reservation and move into the 'enemy camp'.

I was back at work now and every customer who came to the garage offered their condolences as all had known Dad at least vaguely; some had even attended his funeral. When I locked up on Tuesday I headed over to Sam's, having already asked him to bring the pack together so I could talk to them all at once. I parked up outside at six-thirty and walked in through the open door. Everyone else was already gathered in the lounge, most cramming Emily's cinnamon muffins into their mouths.

"Hey, Jake!" Seth jumped up at once and came to give me a hug. Embry and Quil followed suit and then backed off and let me sit down.

"So, what's this about?" Jared asked.

"Well...um..." I clenched my fists in my lap. They were going to hate it. "I'm going to be moving out of my house tonight, so I thought I should tell you..."

"Moving house merits a pack meeting?" Quil raised his eyebrows.

"There can only be one reason for that," Paul said, his lip curling. "Let me guess - you're gonna live with your blood-sucking lover."

Sam frowned at him and then at me. "Is this true?"

"Carlisle invited me to stay with them, yes," I nodded.

"So did Sue Clearwater," added Paul. "But you'd rather turn your back on your guys..."

"That's enough, Paul!" Sam snapped. He sighed heavily. "We may all be pack-brothers, but we're also free to make our own decisions so long as it doesn't endanger the rest of us or the tribe."

"And you think him going to live with a bunch of _vampires_ isn't endangering anybody?" Paul spat, getting to his feet.

"Paul, shut up," Jared put in.

"No, I won't fucking shut up. Jake, I am sorry, like everybody else, about Billy. He was like a dad to me too on occasion, but I'm fucked if I'm gonna sit here and say it's ok that you walk away from us and go live with your dead fuck-buddy and his family, because it's far from being ok! Billy's probably turning in his grave!" He stormed out of the house and the door crashed shut after him.

"He is such an asshole," muttered Seth.

"I didn't think even Paul could be that cruel," Embry gasped.

"Nasty fucker!" Leah growled. "He's gonna regret that!"

"Don't worry about it," I said shakily. "For the record, before any of you say anything else, Dad spoke to both me and Edward before he...died. He told Edward to take care of me and he told me that he understood I would have to leave La Push and follow my heart and he wanted me to go on and do it. I'm not under any illusion that I'll get much support from you guys, but it's what I'm gonna do, so...if you want me to leave the pack, Sam, I will."

"You can't leave the pack!" Seth exclaimed. "I don't want you to leave, nor does Leah, do you, sis? Or Em...guys..."

"It's alright, Seth, let Sam speak," I said.

"There's no need for you to do that," Sam said slowly. "You won't be far away. Things are quiet now anyway; not even much need for patrols. But if there is any need for it in the future, the Cullens would be on our side again, the same way they were last year..."

"So it makes no difference if Jake's living with them, right?" Seth's face lit up and I grinned at the kid, despite my miserable mood.

"It's not the ideal situation, but _the pack_ won't give you any trouble." Sam glanced around at the others and they all nodded, some more firmly than others. "Presumably you'll be working at the garage every day as before, Jacob?"

"Yes."

"What are we going to do about Paul?" Embry asked.

"I'll deal with him when he's had the chance to cool down," Sam replied.

"You should let me deal with him," Leah said through her teeth. Embry gave her a smile even as Sam frowned at her.

I heaved a sigh of relief. I had expected my news to be received much more reluctantly than it had been, but no one seemed to really object. I had to wonder if their reactions would have been different if Dad hadn't just died and they felt like they had to pander to me, but I didn't really care. In just a few hours I would be spending my first night with Edward without having to think about leaving him when my curfew approached or when the weekend was over and my mood lightened. It was the first time I had actually felt happy about anything in days.

When I left Sam's, I went straight home and began loading my things into the truck. Virtually all of my clothes and personal belongings were already packed into boxes and it was just a matter of carrying them all out to the vehicle. I had even packed up the contents of the refrigerator and food cupboards rather than throw the things away and I finally locked up at eight-forty-five and stood on the porch for a long moment before I climbed into the truck. I was torn between feeling sad over leaving the house I had called home for seventeen years, shared first with my parents and sisters, then only Dad after Mom died and my sisters left a few years later. A single tear rolled down each cheek and then I brushed them away and started the engine, my thoughts shifting to the huge house I was moving into, Edward waiting there for me, ready to wrap me up in his arms and comfort me. I shifted the truck into gear and set off.

In just a half hour, my truck was parked up with the Cullens' numerous vehicles and all of my boxes were in Edward's room. Edward, Emmett and Jasper had moved them up there in record time as I watched, fascinated by the way they blurred up and down the stairs almost too fast for the eye to see. Esme asked if I had eaten dinner and I realised then that I hadn't and that I was starving. She prepared a meal for me while I began unpacking my things - hanging my clothes in Edward's closet and finding drawers and cupboards to put away everything else. Esme and Alexa sat talking to me while I ate dinner and the male vampires went out hunting. Rosalie appeared briefly to sneer at me and grumble something about the house smelling permanently of dog from now on and then vanished again.

By the time Edward returned I was in his room - _our _room_ - _staring at the cover of Dad's journal and wondering if I was ready to start reading it. I had decided I would read it, but that I would rather not do it alone. Edward closed the door behind him, took his shoes off and sat down on the bed close to me.

"Your Dad's journal?"

"Yeah. Will you read it with me?"

"Of course."

We curled up together, propped against the pillows and began to read the first section of the thick book. It began with Dad at sixteen and in highschool. He had just been told that the legends of wolves and vampires that he had read about were actually true and he longed for the gene to make itself known in himself so that he could become a wolf. Rather than hate the idea and wish it bypassed him like I had, he would have welcomed it and Quil's father, his best friend, felt the same.

We continued reading until Dad finally plucked up the courage to ask the beautiful Sarah Wilde to prom and then I decided to put the journal away for the moment. I began to dwell on the eight years Dad had spent alone after Mom died. She had been the love of his life - his highschool sweetheart - ripped away from him and all of us by a hideous car accident when I was nine years old. I could still remember sitting at the hospital with Rach and Becca, watching Dad walk towards us after he found out Mom died on the operating table. He had tears pouring down his face and it had occurred to me at the time that it must be bad if someone as tough as my Dad was crying.

"Fuck," I muttered as fresh tears spilled down my cheeks. "He had such a tough life; at least the last few years."

"I don't think he saw it like that," Edward said softly. "He had you and your sisters. He was so proud of you; he told me."

"I know," I choked. "I was just thinking that he was with my Mom for twenty years...never even looked at another girl once...I can see his face the day we lost her...I don't know how he ever got through that. If I lost you, Edward, it would kill me."

"You're not going to lose me, I'm right here, I'm always going to be here." He pulled me closer to him, his lips brushing lightly over my cheeks, sweeping away my tears and I held onto him, stupidly scared that if I didn't have hold of him, if I couldn't feel him, he would be lost to me.

"Kiss me," I begged roughly.

Edward's mouth covered mine and he kissed me, gently at first and then heatedly, urgently, his tongue thrusting in as I gripped him and pulled him harder against me. He didn't often take the lead, but now he did and I relished it, letting him pull off my shirt, push me down against the pillows, his eager kisses making my heart pound and my cock stiffen rapidly. I wanted him so much in that moment, desperately almost, and I groaned as he drew away from me for a brief moment to remove his shirt and then both our pants and shorts. He was as aroused as I was, his beautiful pale cock quivering against his belly. It had been almost two weeks since we touched each other and I was already leaking pre-cum, my balls tight and aching. For once I didn't want to take my time, I just wanted to feel him against me, his hands and mouth on me, his cock against mine.

He was reading my thoughts; sometimes he seemed to know when to do that and when to stay out of my head and now he bent over me, his lips capturing mine again, one hand stroking over my chest, teasing and pinching my nipples while he pushed one knee in between my thighs, then the other, spreading my legs open. Usually it would be me doing that, lowering myself between his legs and imagining the time when I would eventually make love to him, but now I pulled my knees up and let them slide further apart, my arms eagerly pulling him down until his weight rested on me, his coldness meeting my heat in a frenzy of goosebumps, his erection throbbing against mine. He raised himself again just enough to slip one hand between us, grasping both of our cocks together and rubbing them against each other and I squirmed and gasped, gyrating my hips and thrusting myself against him, tearing my mouth away from his to breathe as my orgasm began to roll through me.

"Oh, fuck! Yes! Christ!" I cried as I came in hard hot spurts, immediately feeling the chill of Edward's cum on my belly as he came too.

I slid my hands down his smooth back and then tightened my arms around him, crushing him against me.

"God, I needed that," I panted. "I need you." I forced my eyes open and looked up into his black ones. "I love you so much, Edward."

"I love you too," he whispered. "Always."


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

I found the next few weeks tough, looking over at the house every day as I worked and wishing Dad was in it waiting for me to go over and have lunch with him. I missed him horribly and I doubted the pain of losing him would ever lessen, but each day I would go home to Edward and he made everything better. He always seemed to know exactly what I needed, even without reading my mind. He would either go out hunting alone to give me space, sit with me in companionable silence but a little distance away, or snuggle up and wrap his arms around me and all of this just made me love him even more if it were possible.

Gradually we read the rest of Dad's journal, following his life as he married Mom, Rach and Becca were born, then me. It was heartbreaking to read about Mom's death so soon after Dad had joined her and touching to learn how much my sisters and I had helped Dad get through it. Eventually Bella came on the scene and I was surprised to discover that Dad hadn't been particularly fond of her, a fact that he had kept from Charlie. He was concerned about my obsession with her, knowing my feelings weren't going to be returned and fearing I would be hurt.

Next the Cullens moved back into the area, Sam phased and it became clear that a new pack would form. It was only a matter of time before I would join it and Dad was torn between pride that I was due to become Alpha and worry that I may get hurt or even killed in battle. His pride in me hadn't wavered when I turned down the Alpha role, but he had been scared out of his wits as the battle with the newborns approached. He hadn't known at that point that I had Imprinted, but was concerned that I constantly seemed to be worried or ailing in some way. He hadn't realised the cause and wrote of his surprise that I wasn't more devastated by Bella's death.

After this, Dad detailed his worry about my disappearance and his horror when Embry explained I had Imprinted on Edward and raced to Italy with Alice to save him. He was confused and shocked that I would Imprint on a vampire at all, but a male was even harder for him to understand. In addition, he worried that because of our history, Edward would reject me and I would suffer even more. However, when we returned from Italy and began spending more and more time together, he satisfied himself that I was much happier. Again he wrote of his fears when I disappeared for days and returned from Texas with Jasper's newborn, but he noted that afterwards my relationship with Edward seemed to step up a notch. He quickly accepted that I was in fact gay and was only concerned that I may encounter prejudice and would certainly find things difficult when Edward couldn't be welcomed onto the Reservation.

I realised as I read that Dad had seen and taken note of a lot of things I thought I'd managed to keep from him, but he had never once complained, unless I had done anything that he couldn't overlook, such as staying out all night and not calling or things of that nature. The journal ended just a few days before Dad's death, noting that I had gone to Alaska with the Cullens to attend the wedding of one of them to the newborn. He wrote again that he was proud of the way I handled my new life and the way I was making my business work. As I finished the last page I had to push the book away from me so that my tears didn't drip onto it and smudge the ink.

I scrubbed my hands over my face and pulled Edward closer to me, hugging him tightly. I knew I hadn't been giving him very much attention lately, but things were about to change. The past weeks had been so filled with sadness over Dad that the idea of marrying Edward had slipped from my mind, but now it resurfaced and I decided it was time to do something about it. I would keep the journal until then and add my own notes at the end, to say that we were starting our life together properly.

I didn't say anything to Edward about what I was doing and I trusted him not to poke about in my mind without me inviting him. I wanted to surprise him, knowing he must think that the last thing on my mind right now was tying the knot. The first thing I did was go over to see Sam after I finished work at midday on Saturday. I had seen the pack members only intermittently since I moved in with the Cullens, mostly relying on them dropping in to see me at the garage to check I was doing ok, although Embry and Leah had been up to the house a couple of times. Sue had spoken to Carlisle and asked permission for them to visit and he had agreed immediately, knowing that both had begun to like Edward and were proving to be good friends to the both of us.

Sam came out of the house as I parked up and came to give me a hug.

"Jacob! You're looking good," he said. "How are you?"

"Yeah, much better, thanks, Sam," I nodded. "Is Emily here?"

"No, she's over at the Clearwaters'."

"How is everyone?" I asked as I followed him into the house. My heart was hammering and much as I tried to guess what his reaction would be when I started talking, I couldn't. Most of them had more or less accepted my life was with the coven now, but it didn't mean they would welcome me actually marrying Edward.

"Good, we have some news actually that might surprise you." He pulled two bottles of coke out of the refrigerator and handed me one. "It's not really my news, but you won't hear it from Paul, I don't suppose."

"It's Paul's news? I haven't even seen him since the funeral. When his truck needed fixing he sent Jared over with it," I frowned. The bad-tempered wolf hadn't even made the effort to pass the time of day with me since the funeral and I had actually been glad that he had avoided me. I hadn't expected an apology, but if he had shown his face with the same attitude, I wouldn't have been able to keep my fists from making an attempt to rearrange his features.

"He Imprinted," Sam said with a smirk.

_"Paul_ Imprinted?" I gasped. That had been the last thing I expected him to say. "On whom? Whoever it is, I feel sorry for her."

"I don't think you know her, she's a friend of Kim's. Her name's Stacey," said Sam. "They go to school together. Jared and Kim invited a bunch of people to a beach party for Kim's birthday two weeks ago. Paul wasn't even going to go, but Jared managed to change his mind somehow. He practically ignored everybody until the food came out..."

"Typical," I put in and Sam grinned.

"Soon as he locked eyes with Stacey, that was it. He's floored and rather less of a jerk lately. You know what it's like Imprinting. He's at her beck and call twenty-four-seven. Lucky for him she likes him. God alone knows why, I wouldn't have had Paul down for the girl's type at all."

"What's she like?"

"Petite, delicate, straight A student with strict parents. They're distant relatives of your Mom's family somehow, I'm not sure exactly. I think her grandmother is your grandmother's cousin twice removed or some shit. Emily would know."

"The Westermans?" I vaguely remembered some branch of the family which Mom had taken us to visit once or twice when I was pre-school.

"Yeah, that's it. Anyway, Paul is...not quite the Paul we all know and love."

"Hopefully it'll do him good. Tell him I said congratulations."

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Sam asked then.

"Edward."

"You two ok?"

"Better than ok; I don't know what I would have done without him since I lost Dad. But I want to do something and I'm not sure how to, or even if we can. There has to be some way around it, I just don't know..."

"Spit it out, Jacob," Sam smiled.

"I want to marry him," I blurted.

Sam's brow wrinkled now. "Why do you need to go to that extent? You live together, don't you? You're with him every minute you can be. Isn't it enough?"

"Is it enough for you and Emily?" The pair were engaged and planning to marry later that year.

"That's different."

"It's not different, Sam. You love Emily and you want to marry her. I love Edward and I want to marry him."

"We're getting married so we can start a family," Sam said.

"Well, I want to marry Edward because he's my life and I want us to be bound together, and because it's something he has always wanted."

"You are bound together. Nothing will ever be stronger than an Imprint," Sam reminded me.

"Can we stop talking about why? The fact that we want it is enough," I frowned. "I want to discuss how. I can't legally marry until I'm eighteen..."

"You can't marry a boy in this state anyway," Sam said. "And if you could, you still couldn't do it in the usual way. You are to all intents and purposes human; Edward isn't and he can't cover that up. He can come up with as many fake IDs as he wants, but he can't hide his coldness or what he looks like in the sun if it suddenly appears on the day. But that's just the basics. I understand that you love him and you're always going to be with him - all of us do - but the pack can never condone an official union between a wolf and a vampire. If it was made official, it wouldn't stay a secret. It would spread through the tribe and there would be objections, not to mention the fact that it could bring rogue vampires down on our heads again. Neither side will tolerate it, Jacob. I understand your position; I do, I'm not just saying that; but you can't do this. There isn't a priest on either our side or theirs who would marry you."

"How do you know that?" I demanded. "You can speak for the Quileutes, but you can't speak for the Cullens. Their cousin Eleazar is a priest - he married Jasper and Alexa."

"They're both vampires," Sam pointed out. "I dare say they would have married Edward to Bella too if it came to it, but I very much doubt they will officially allow the union between one of theirs and a wolf."

"Fuck," I muttered. "Well, I'm going to ask anyway. If it happened in Alaska, or even at the Cullens' house, nobody need find out..."

"People have a way of finding out things. Carlisle is a very tolerant man, but I don't think he'll let Edward marry you."

"We'll see, won't we?" I grumbled.

"Jacob, don't be angry with me about this. I'm only telling you what everyone else will tell you."

"You're speaking on behalf of the tribe, I get that, but you don't know what the Cullens or the Denalis will think about this." I pushed myself to my feet. "I'm not angry at you, Sam, I guess I didn't expect it to be easy. But one way or another, I _will_ marry Edward."

Carlisle was of the same opinion as Sam. I talked to him Sunday when Edward had gone hunting with the others and although he was very nice about it, his words practically mirrored Sam's. He was happy for Edward to be with me and that we made each other so happy, but an official union between us would be forbidden. It wouldn't stay a secret and would bring troubles down upon us. I tentatively mentioned that it didn't seem as if they would have forbidden Bella from marrying Edward and Carlisle's response was that even having Bella as a 'pet' had given them problems. He hadn't actually made a decision on whether to allow them to marry and would have leaned towards saying no. An official union, even with only Eleazar presiding, would have at least spiked the Volturi's curiosity if nothing else. They certainly wouldn't tolerate Edward marrying one of their sworn enemies.

"They're still around?" I asked.

"They'll always be around," Carlisle said. "Our cousins had word that they have found a new headquarters in France and are recruiting guards."

"Do you think they'll be paying a visit?" I asked.

"It's entirely possible although at the moment there's been no indication of it."

"The survivors must be pretty mad about what we did to them."

Carlisle nodded. "It's not something they'll forget. Whether they choose to do anything about it is another matter."

"Shit!" I exclaimed. "Sorry. Does Edward know this?"

"Yes, they all know."

"What if they do pay us a visit?" I bit my lip, remembering the vindictiveness of Aro and his coven or whatever he called them.

"Then we'll be ready. The Denalis will almost double our numbers and I'm sure Sam would lend the pack to the cause again."

"Yeah, I'm sure he would."

I realised that somehow the conversation had moved on from me wanting to marry Edward without me even noticing and I left Carlisle with a sigh. Both sides said no and for about thirty seconds I considered speaking to Eleazar directly, but if Carlisle said no, there was no way the Alaskan vampire would agree. They wouldn't even let me in their house, for Christ's sake.

It seemed to me that the situation was hopeless, but I had no intention of giving up. I had promised Edward I would marry him and now it was something I wanted just as much. I would find a way to do it, even if we had to sneak off somewhere and carry out the service ourselves, which was actually beginning to seem like the only way; I just wasn't sure if it would be enough. However, two weeks later I had a surprising opportunity to speak to Eleazar myself and much as I had become convinced it was pointless, I decided it was worth a shot.

The Denalis came to visit the Cullens, all five of them arriving by private jet at the strip near PA. Carlisle and Emmett drove over there in two of the cars to collect them and I waited with Edward with some trepidation for their arrival. Irina and Kate in particular had loathed me and I had only been surprised that they hadn't actually done anything when we had been to Jasper's wedding. The way they had been talking to Rosalie had seemed like they were plotting something. However, there was still time for trouble. I doubted they would enjoy staying under the same roof as me.

Tanya, Eleazar and Carmen actually did make an effort to speak to me after they had arrived and settled in. Tanya even apologised for not having made me more welcome in their home although I didn't miss the way her nose wrinkled and twitched in disgust as she breathed in my scent. The other two seemed pleasant enough when they spent a short time talking to me and my heart jumped into my mouth as I was reminded of my dilemma. Where was the harm? I doubted I would get a better opportunity.

"So...um...I was wondering..." I began, facing Eleazar. I wasn't sure of the best way to go about it. Blurt it out or beat around the bush?

"Hmm?"

"You carry out many vampire weddings?"

"A few," he smiled. "At least since I moved from Italy."

"Would you have married Edward to Bella?"

"The human who was responsible for Victoria's newborn army fiasco?" Eleazar grimaced. "Absolutely not. That creature was no good for Edward; it was only a mercy that fate saw fit to intervene."

Shit. He was going to say no. "I'm guessing you wouldn't marry him to a wolf then," I said casually.

Eleazar's eyes narrowed and Carmen's eyebrows rose towards her hairline.

"You mean you, obviously," Eleazar frowned. "Jacob, Carlisle is an extremely tolerant man in even allowing you in their house. I'm sure you're a nice boy and you saved Edward and all, but don't delude yourself in thinking there can ever be a union between you. It would be impossible to keep such a thing a secret and no vampire in existence would see it as anything less than abhorrent."

"They would think loving someone is abhorrent?" I growled. I had expected his answer, but I was becoming more and more frustrated by the fact that what I wanted most seemed impossible.

"They would think Edward being with a wolf is abhorrent," Eleazar said. "And they wouldn't let it lie."

"Damnit!"

"Jacob?" Edward appeared at my side suddenly and I glared at Eleazar. I didn't want Edward to know what I'd been up to until I had actually managed to sort something out, if I even could.

"It's alright," I said.

"Something wrong?"

"No, nothing."

"He doesn't know, does he?" Eleazar smiled.

Edward's eyes switched to Eleazar's face and I groaned inwardly as I guessed he was probing the older vampire's mind, but he simply looked puzzled as if he wasn't getting anything. Eleazar and Carmen excused themselves and left us and Edward turned his attention back to me.

"Jacob, what's going on? Were they bothering you?"

"No, it's fine, really, don't worry about it," I said.

"You know I can find out. Eleazar was blocking me, but..."

"Please don't," I sighed, squeezing his hand. "Just trust me, ok?"

"Alright. So long as he wasn't giving you any trouble."

"No, both of them seemed quite pleasant," I said truthfully, relieved.

Edward didn't mention it again and that night I wracked my brains for a solution and came up with nothing. Both sides were against us marrying and the one person who could have actually done it was horrified by the idea, just as I had known he would be deep down. How the hell could I make it happen? I tossed and turned, unable to sleep, glad that Edward had left me alone to spend time with his cousins and therefore couldn't see how anxious I was. By the time morning came I was exhausted and the last thing I felt like doing was going to work, but go I must. I had a full day at the garage and at least being there would separate me from the Denalis for a while. I hadn't missed the way Irina and Kate lurked outside the kitchen, hissing and glaring daggers while I shoved my breakfast down my throat.

The rest of the week was tense for me to say the least. I kept out of the way as much as possible, staying in the bedroom with Edward or alone for the most part. As the weekend came I began to relax. One more day and the Denalis would be gone, but my relief was short-lived as I returned home from work at twelve-thirty on Saturday and got out of my car to be greeted by Rosalie, Irina and Kate.

"Back already?" Irina sneered.

"I only work half days on Saturdays. Where's Edward?" I asked.

"Hunting with the others," Rosalie said. "Why don't you spend a little time with us instead?"

"Yeah, Rose, like you want to spend time with a dog." I raised my eyebrows. "I need a shower."

"Water won't wash off your stench," said Kate, stepping in front of me and I felt a prickle of alarm. I suspected they were only toying with me; I doubted Rose would do anything because it would piss off the rest of the Cullens. She had even been making attempts to be more accepting of me lately, but I wasn't so sure about the other two.

"Just leave me alone." I made to walk past them, but suddenly Irina was in front of me, her curious pale gold eyes full of hate.

"What's the rush? We're just trying to be nice to Edward's little pet. Kate has something fun to show you, don't you, Kate?"

I clenched my teeth and my fists. Kate was the one who had given Edward electric shocks for fun.

"What are you waiting for?" Irina prompted her sister. "The others will be back soon."

I took a step backwards, knowing it was pointless as Kate appeared right beside me in a flash and gripped my arm to keep me still. I felt nothing except for the crushing sensation of her steely hand, but then her free hand lifted and she stroked the tip of one finger down my cheek. From the corner of my eye I saw blue sparks and I was hit by the most unbelievable pain. Electricity flowed down the side of my neck and spread through my body, the skin where she had touched sizzled and I smelled my own flesh burning. My legs gave way and I crumpled to the ground, writhing and screaming.

_"Fuuuucckkkk!" _I roared.

"I don't think he likes it," Irina giggled. "Poor mutt."

"Fucking bitch!" I snarled through my teeth. I tried to push myself to my feet, but my legs didn't seem to want to work, wobbly and uncoordinated from the shock. I wouldn't have been surprised to find my hair standing on end and smoking.

"Now, that's not very nice," Kate smiled. "Don't you know you shouldn't insult guests?"

"Go to hell!"

"Oh, we're already there."

"Rose, damnit!" I panted, finally managing to stand up. "What do you think Edward and Emmett are going to say about this?"

"It's nothing to do with me. I have no control over these evil girls." She took a few steps backwards and Kate smiled at her before she touched me again.

The pain was worse than before and I screamed long and loud, rolling onto my back as I jerked and shuddered, my teeth cutting through my lip and the inside of my cheek. I tried to summon my wolf, but I was too weak to bring him out.

_'Edward, where are you?' _I thought desperately. The Cullens must have been able to hear me. "Why the fuck are you doing this?" I hissed.

"What do you mean, why?" Irina sneered. "You and Edward? It's an abomination! Laughable!"

"Call it an eye for an eye," Kate added. "Do you remember anything about your time in Volterra? Do you remember a guard named Demetri?"

"Vaguely." I groaned and tried to summon my strength, pulling myself onto my hands and knees.

"I loved him! We spent eighty years together! He was due to leave the guard in another year and come to Alaska to be with me! He's dead because of you!" Kate screeched.

She stepped towards me again and then several things happened all at once. Esme, who had been in the house all the time, soaking in the bath, descended from one of the upper windows in a fluffy pink robe. Edward and Carlisle appeared in a blur either side of me and Eleazar and Carmen rushed to Kate and Irina. The remaining vampires appeared from the trees more slowly.

"What the hell is going on here?" Eleazar roared.

"God, Jacob, are you alright?" Edward fell to his knees and pulled me against him, his cool fingers lightly touching my cheek where the singed flesh still stung. "'I'm so sorry, I should have been here."

"We are guests here! In case you'd forgotten these are our cousins," Eleazar spoke to Kate and Irina.

"He's just a dog," Irina said sourly.

"That's as may be, but he belongs to Edward and you two will do well to remember your manners and restrain yourselves from your stupid games."

"Rosalie, you are such a bitch sometimes," Emmett was growling, gripping his wife by the arm and hustling her into the house. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you want to drive Edward away? Is that it?" He slammed the door behind them.

"I'm sorry," Eleazar addressed Carlisle. "Please forgive the girls..."

"Perhaps they could summon up some apologies for Jacob," Carlisle said stiffly, crouching down beside me. "Look at me, Jacob." He touched my face and peered into my eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just got electrocuted."

"Edward, bring him to the surgery; I better check him over." He straightened up and walked to the house.

"You alright?" Jasper came to me now and he and Edward helped me up. My legs shook and I held onto both vampires.

"Yes, thanks."

"I'm surprised you didn't phase," Edward said. "I wouldn't have blamed you."

"I would if I'd had the strength. Pain usually makes it impossible. My body's too busy trying to heal itself."

Edward and Jasper took me into Carlisle's surgery and he ran a few tests and decided I was fine. I felt almost normal by then and the mark on my cheek had vanished. Edward took me up to our room and made me lie down and rest regardless. He stayed with me for a little while and then left the room reluctantly to say goodbye to the Denalis. Eleazar had apparently decided they should take their leave a day early and I sat up and looked out of the window, watching as the two cars headed off down the driveway. Edward was out there watching them leave and while I watched, Jasper came in to see me.

"Hey," he said. "We all feel pretty bad about this; we shouldn't have all taken off at once like that. No one thought they'd actually do anything and we intended to be back earlier before you finished work."

"It's ok, it's no one's fault," I said at once.

"Edward's pretty upset," he added.

"I'll talk to him when he comes in." I looked at Jasper and my eyes landed on the wide gold band on his left hand. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what?"

"Promise you won't tell any of the others?"

"Yes?"

"You know how Edward feels about marriage, we talked about it before," I said.

Jasper smiled. "Let me guess - you want to marry him now and everyone's standing in the way?"

"That's pretty much it. Sam, Carlisle, Eleazar..."

"I guess I didn't think about how difficult it would be. If it's made official, everyone will find out eventually. We might have gotten to like you, but that doesn't mean it would be accepted by anyone else."

"So what do I do?" I groaned.

"To get him in the sack?" Jasper smirked.

"No!" I felt my face heating up. "It's not about that. I _want_ to marry him."

"Then you're going to have to do it yourself. Exchange vows, rings, whatever, but just you. It'll still be real. I mean, look at us. We're vampires and you're a wolf; we're the creatures of fairy tales. Anything we do is as real as we want to make it."

I frowned doubtfully. "But will that be enough for Edward?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure it'll be enough. He must know deep down that you can't do it officially. The fact that you want it; that you make an effort to say your own vows and make a promise to him will be enough."


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you for reading as always, and for the alerts and great reviews. If you're looking for some more great stuff to read, check out some of my favourite authors:- ant1gon3, elfprincess8 and Lineia :o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Jasper left me alone and minutes later Edward was back in the room.

"They're gone," he said with obvious relief and sat down close to me. "I'm so sorry, I feel terrible that we weren't there."

"Just forget about it. I'm fine and they're gone."

"I can't believe Rosalie was part of it," he groaned.

"She didn't do anything," I said magnanimously.

"She fucking stood there and let Kate hurt you!" Edward roared, blurring across the room and pacing in front of the window, tugging his hands through his hair until it stood out at odd angles, worse than usual. He stood still and dropped his hands to the window sill, his fingers splintering the wood, then his eyes switched to the partly open door, black and angry. "Don't you damned well interfere, Jasper!" he hissed. "I'm...I...fuck it..."

I glanced at Jasper, guessing he must have tempered Edward's rage as my vampire sighed heavily and his shoulders slumped.

"Sorry, I had to before you wreck the room." Jasper gave him a small smile. "Take it easy, Emmett's dealing with Rose."

"By fawning around her and giving her everything she wants as usual, I suppose," Edward said more calmly.

"No, he's borrowing the jet and taking her to New York for a while to get away from you two. She's pissed about going, but he says he'll bring her back when she's ready to grovel." He shrugged slightly. "At least he's not taking her to Alaska."

"Next time I see Kate..." Edward scowled, clenching his fists.

"You'll leave her alone," Jasper finished. "She'll only do the same thing to you, it's a game to her, you know it is."

I got up and shoved my feet into a pair of sneakers, drawing Edward's eyes to me at once.

"You're going out?"

"No, _we're_ going out," I said. "I want to talk to you about something." My heart began to hammer as I thought about proposing to him. It hadn't really been a proper proposal at Jasper's wedding and even then I had been nervous as hell. Now I wanted to forget about what had happened with the Denalis and find out if what Jasper had suggested would be enough.

"We can talk here."

"Edward..." I touched his face lightly with my fingertips and slid my other hand into his. "Let's just get out of here for a while, ok?"

He nodded slowly and the anger gradually faded from his eyes, leaving them golden brown again. As we passed Jasper before heading down the stairs, he shot me a grin and winked.

We got into the Rabbit and I drove south, heading for Ruby Beach where we had been several times together now. Edward sat holding my hand as I drove, but he barely spoke and I could feel he was still angry and upset over what had happened. Maybe it wasn't the right time for me to be talking about marriage, but I hoped he would relax by the time we got there. Sure enough, as I parked up he was much less tense and when I leaned over to kiss him he returned it immediately, closing his eyes and slipping his hand around my neck to deepen it. It was a few minutes before we pulled apart and got out of the car and dusk had already fallen. We walked down to the beach hand in hand and strolled along the damp sand. I remembered the first time we had been here; how we had swum together and then laid on the rug touching each other and I couldn't help smiling at the instant twitch in my pants. I forced the memory out of my mind quickly. The last thing I wanted to do right now was get hard because I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of him and I'd forget what we came here for. I stopped walking, pulling him to a halt and he turned to face me.

"I'm sorry I lost it like that," he said a little sheepishly.

"It doesn't matter." I took hold of his other hand and held both together. "Remember what we talked about at Jasper's wedding? It seems a long time ago now with everything that happened since, but I haven't forgotten."

"About us getting married?"

"Yeah." My heart was in my mouth and I gulped and licked my lips, suddenly hoping he wouldn't be mad that I talked to Carlisle and Eleazar. "I've been trying to find out how we could do it," I went on. "It's not really a usual situation; even if we were human and waited until I'm eighteen, we still couldn't do it in this state."

"I know," Edward said. "It doesn't matter. We don't have to..."

"I haven't finished. I thought maybe there was a way and there might have been if it hadn't been for me being a wolf. I talked to Sam and Carlisle and..."

"You asked Carlisle if we could get married?" Edward's eyebrows rose.

"Yeah. Sorry, I wanted..."

"Don't, I was just surprised." His lips curved up into a smile. "What did he say?"

"Same as Sam. That we can't do it officially, neither side would accept it and no one would be willing to perform a ceremony for us. Eleazar confirmed it..."

Edward's mouth dropped open.

"Yes, I spoke to him too. He wasn't very impressed, but I didn't really expect him to be, I just wanted to try every avenue."

"That's what you were talking about, when he blocked me from his mind?"

"Yeah. All of them gave the same reason - if it became known it would create problems, not least the Volturi coming after us."

Edward nodded. "That did cross my mind, I just preferred to think there might be a way around it." He let out a sigh and his hands squeezed mine tighter.

"There is," I said. "If it's enough for you. We can have our own ceremony, just us; give each other a ring and exchange vows. We wouldn't have a piece of paper that says it's official, but it would still be real."

"It's enough," Edward said quietly. "It's not the piece of paper that's important, it's the vows." His smile returned and his eyes sparkled. I relaxed and let go of his hands, resting mine on his waist instead.

"So...Edward Cullen...will you make me the happiest wolf on earth by marrying me?"

"Yes," he said simply.

I drew him closer and he slid his arms around my neck, his cool lips brushing over mine.

"I love you, Jacob," he whispered.

"I love you too." I tightened my arms around him and kissed him again, thrusting my tongue into his mouth urgently and drawing an equally eager response from him. His soft moan sent a rush of blood to my groin and I ran my hands up his back and then down again, pressing myself closer and feeling his arousal against my own. It occurred to me that I would prefer to be in his bed rather than fumbling in the dark on the beach, but I had barely had chance to loosen my hold on him when the approaching tide sent a shallow wave washing over our feet, soaking shoes, socks and pants legs almost to the knees.

"Oh, fuck!" I shouted and we jumped apart and ran quickly up the beach, laughing.

Back in the car we took off socks and shoes and wrung out the bottoms of our pants. I drove back slowly and unlike the journey down to the beach just a short while ago, we talked constantly until we reached home. We planned to head into Forks the next day to choose rings and picked April thirtieth for our wedding day. It was a Saturday, just two weeks away and I decided to book a hotel room for the night to surprise Edward and ensure we would have privacy from the rest of the Cullens at least for one night - _the _night.

We received curious and amused looks from Jasper and Alexa when we walked into the house carrying our shoes and socks and when Edward had disappeared into the kitchen, Jasper looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I grinned and nodded, then straightened my face as Esme appeared. It wasn't going to be easy keeping things from the rest of the family, but at least one of them was on our side.

The next day, Edward and I headed into Forks in the afternoon. Most of the stores there opened Sundays at least for a few hours, usually closing around four o'clock. We reached the jewellery store at three-fifteen and found only two members of staff there - a middle-aged woman and a young girl. There were no other customers and much to my surprise, the girl smiled at me as we headed towards the counter.

"Hello, Jacob."

"Um..." Not many Natives worked in the stores in Forks, but her face was familiar and as I dropped my eyes to the name tag pinned to her shirt, which read 'Stacey', I realised who she was.

"Stacey Westerman?"

She smiled wider.

"Edward, Stacey is Paul's...girlfriend," I told him.

"I was sorry about your Dad, Jacob, I was at the funeral with my parents, but we didn't get chance to speak to you."

"Thanks," I said. "So how's Paul?"

"Oh, he's a sweetheart." She blushed prettily and I grinned. That didn't sound like Paul at all; obviously the Imprint was responsible for him being 'sweet'.

"So, how can I help you two?" Stacey added.

"Well...um...look, will you not tell Paul about this?" I asked suddenly. "The guys don't really approve. I'll tell them, just not yet."

"Of course, but why?" She looked puzzled.

"We're...that is, Edward and me...are getting married. We want to buy rings, but if Paul gets to know and tells Sam...there might be trouble."

"Oh!" Her mind was clearly whirring and she glanced at Edward several times, then smiled and nodded. "Don't worry, it's your business, I won't say anything. So...wedding rings."

She bent and unlocked a cupboard beneath the counter, bringing out two trays of wedding rings in varying designs, some plain gold, some engraved or with stones set into them. There were so many and we both stared helplessly at the selection for a few moments. I guessed Edward would prefer something simple, as did I, and seconds later he pointed at a plain, wide gold band and glanced at me. I nodded immediately.

"Let me take your sizes and I'll get you some to try on," Stacey said, producing a metal hoop which held a number of small metal rings. Selecting one, she asked me to hold out my left hand and slipped the ring onto the third finger. It fit perfectly.

"Good guess," I said.

"It's my job, silly."

She removed the ring and turned towards Edward. He hesitated briefly and she reached across the counter and touched his hand lightly, not turning a hair at his temperature. He relaxed and held his hand up. His finger was a size smaller than mine and Stacey took note of the measurements, put the two trays of rings away and disappeared into a separate room for a moment. When she returned she held two ring boxes and placed them on the counter for us to try. My heart pounded as I removed the smaller ring from its box, took Edward's hand and slowly slid it onto his finger. His hand shook slightly and I guessed he was thinking the same thing I was - that in just thirteen days we would be doing this for real.

I continued to hold Edward's hand in mine as I stared at the ring on his finger and everything else around us faded away. I loved him so much and it bubbled up inside me as if to drown me, bringing tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat.

"Hey.."

I jumped as Edward's free hand touched my face and I pulled myself together and grinned. He picked up the second ring and placed it on my finger and I stared at it in wonder. I was really going to marry him and I was curious to know what Dad would have thought. He would probably worry for the same reasons the others did, but still be happy for me.

"We'll take these, Stacey," I said, removing my ring quickly and returning it to the box before I was tempted to just keep it on. Edward did the same and I pulled out my wallet to pay for them just as he took out a credit card. I shook my head slightly and he put it away again.

Within ten minutes the two velvet-lined boxes were in a gift bag in my hand and we were leaving the store, stupid smiles on our faces. I held the door open for Edward and he stepped out onto the street in front of me, just as two other guys approached the door rather hurriedly. I almost bumped into the first as I followed Edward and I muttered 'sorry' over my shoulder, wrapping my arm around Edward's waist as we began to walk away. We had gone only a few steps before Edward went rigid and stopped moving.

"What is it?"

"Those guys...they're going to rob the store," he said in a low voice.

"Holy shit." I shoved the gift bag into my jacket pocket and turned back towards the door. "We have to do something."

"No!" Edward's arms fastened around me before I could take one step and I found myself being pulled away and into the doorway of another store which was closed.

"Edward...that's Paul's Imprint in there," I protested, trying to pull myself free.

"You can't...they have guns, you could get hurt and if you phase...fuck," Edward muttered. "Call the cops, I'll go in."

At that moment a gunshot sounded and he let me go immediately and strode back towards the jewellery store. My heart began to slam against my ribs in fear as I pulled out my cellphone. I told myself over and over that bullets couldn't hurt a vampire, but it didn't lessen my dread one bit. I called 911 and asked for both cops and an ambulance, just in case, then I called Charlie's cellphone number to tell him what was going on. In the background of the call I could hear his radio directing him to the store. I ended the call and put the phone away, just as my worst fear was realised. Another shot sounded in the store and people on the other side of the street froze and then began to run away.

"Fuck, fuck..." I muttered. Telling myself that a gunshot couldn't hurt Edward wasn't helping me and in addition, the idea that Stacey may be hurt horrified me. Paul and I hadn't gotten along very well since I joined the pack and especially not since I Imprinted on Edward, but I would never wish losing an Imprint on him.

A third shot fired and then Charlie's car screeched to a halt in front of the store and the sirens of other cops and an ambulance screamed as they appeared at the far end of the street. My legs sagged as Edward appeared and walked towards me, gripping something tightly in one hand. I didn't even notice what it was; I just grabbed him and pulled him into my arms, hugging him close.

"Is anyone hurt?"

"Stacey got a flesh wound in the arm, but she's ok. Those two guys are clearly high on something; it didn't seem like a planned robbery. They didn't know what they were doing. They were just firing randomly and demanding the counters be emptied into a bag." He stepped out of my arms, grimacing. "I disarmed them and tied them up. This is the tape from the security camera." He held up the video tape. "Don't want anyone seeing my...um...strength and speed." He frowned again.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. We should go to the hospital. You drive, I'll call Carlisle and make sure he's there to take care of Stacey."

We headed back to the car as paramedics carried Stacey out of the store on a stretcher and fifteen minutes later we were in the hospital. Carlisle was already on duty and was dealing with Stacey's injury. We sat down in the waiting area in the ER and I pulled out my cellphone to call Paul. I didn't have Stacey's parents' number and guessed the hospital would let them know anyway. Paul answered on the third ring.

"Jacob?"

"Paul. Where are you?"

"Forks, why?"

I heaved a sigh of relief. At least he didn't have to come all the way from La Push.

"Don't freak out, ok, Stacey's in the hospital..."

_"What the fuck happened?"_ roared Paul immediately.

"She's fine," I said quickly. "Flesh wound to her arm. The jewellery store was robbed..."

Paul uttered a string of virtually unintelligible swear words and finished with, "...onmyway..." before hanging up. In less than ten minutes he was running towards us down the corridor, ignoring the disapproving looks of several people he almost bumped into. He skidded to a halt in front of us.

"Where is she?"

"Carlisle is fixing her up," I said. "We have to wait. She'll be fine, I promise."

"How do you know? Did you see? She got shot? Fucking Christ!" Paul dragged his hands through his hair and paced up and down in front of us.

"I saw," Edward said calmly.

"What the fuck were you doing in there?" Paul stopped again and glared at Edward.

"We were...near the store, I heard the thieves' thoughts and went in to see if I could help," he said.

"So you surprised them? You mean she might not have even gotten hurt if you hadn't...?" Paul grabbed Edward by the fronts of his jacket and shook him. Edward merely gripped his wrists and squeezed slowly until he let go.

"They were already shooting before I went in."

Paul stepped back. "I better call the Westermans."

"They've already been called." Carlisle approached us swiftly and Paul immediately turned to face him. "Stacey is fine, Paul, it's a simple flesh wound. It will heal with no problem, although there will probably be a small scar. I'll take you to see her." He nodded at Edward and me and then led Paul away to where Stacey was.

Edward and I stayed where we were on the cheap plastic seats and suddenly I remembered sitting on similar seats to these just a few months ago while I waited for news of Dad. Sam and Leah and Sue had tried to comfort me, but all I had wanted was Edward. He had appeared just minutes later like my lifeline and I held onto him desperately.

"Don't," he said softly and slid his hand into mine.

"Being here again brought it all back," I said. "You being here kept me sane." I squeezed his hand and he smiled, but it seemed forced. "Are you ok?" I asked again. His eyes were black, I noticed. "Thirsty?"

"A little. I'll be fine for a while."

Perhaps thirty minutes later, Paul appeared and much to my surprise it wasn't me he spoke to when he reached us, but Edward.

"Can I talk to you for a minute? In private?"

"Of course." Edward pulled his hand free of mine and stood up. They walked down the corridor and halted some distance from me and I strained my ears to try to pick up what was said. What the hell could Paul want to speak to Edward about? They talked in low voices, but Paul's words came to me loud and clear as if my wolf knew I had to hear it.

_"You took a bullet for her?"_

"Fuck," I muttered. He had grimaced a few times as if he were in pain and told me he was thirsty. Was it because he had been shot? So a bullet could hurt a vampire then? My heart began to race and ache at the same time and then Paul was ushering Edward back down the corridor towards me, despite protests from the vampire.

"Don't be stupid, you can't just leave it. You got it saving my Imprint. We'll talk about how much of a jerk I've been later. Jacob..." Paul stopped close to me and I jumped to my feet. "Did you hear any of that? He's hurt, he didn't want you to know. Stacey would probably be dead if he hadn't stepped in front of her." He gripped the collar of both Edward's jacket and shirt and pulled them aside, showing me a dark circle in his shoulder surrounded by a network of cracks in his pale skin. As Paul let go of his clothing and it slipped back to cover the wound, I saw the hole in the jacket which I hadn't previously noticed.

"Oh, God, Edward, why didn't you tell me?"

"It's nothing, the cracks will soon fade."

"The bullet's still in there?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter, don't make a fuss, I'm fine," Edward begged.

"You're in pain. I can feel it myself. Sit." I pressed him down onto one of the chairs. "I'm going to find Carlisle. Paul..."

"I'll stay here." The wolf dropped onto the seat next to Edward and folded his arms. Once again I was surprised, but I didn't waste time considering his change of heart. I hurried off in search of Carlisle.

The doctor didn't have another patient to see then and I was lucky enough to be able to catch him as he left the Westermans. They had arrived some time during the last ten minutes and were with Stacey.

"She's fine, Jacob," Carlisle said.

I nodded. "Edward isn't. He's got a bullet in his shoulder. He's trying to make light of it, but he's in pain. I didn't think a bullet could..."

"It depends on the range and angle. From a distance it would ricochet, but close up...I can't do anything about it here, obviously. Take him home, Jacob, I'll be there shortly."

"Will he be ok?" I asked. "I mean..."

"He'll be fine. The wound will close up on its own, but it's better to actually get the bullet out."

Nodding, I returned to Edward, surprised that he and Paul were actually talking to each other. When I reached them, Paul got up.

"Thanks," I said to him. "Edward, we need to get home. Carlisle's coming back to sort you out."

He sighed heavily and got to his feet. "You didn't have to do that. It'll heal..."

"Carlisle said it's better to get it out. Come on." I grasped his hand on his uninjured side and led him towards the exit. "So what did Paul say to you?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Edward said with a smile.

"Surprise me."

"He said sorry. Twice. He said he can't pretend to suddenly like leeches, but he's sorry he's been such a jerk over your Imprint. He won't give us any more trouble."

"Maybe we should ask him to talk to Rosalie," I grinned.

We reached the house ten minutes later and Carlisle arrived not long after us. He instructed Edward and I to go into the surgery and then summoned Esme and Jasper to help. I wondered what he would need the other vampires for until I realised they intended to hold Edward down while Carlisle removed the bullet. Edward removed his jacket and shirt reluctantly. He chewed his lip and dragged a hand through his hair and it was obvious he was scared. The mark where the bullet had entered had vanished, leaving only a small spiderweb of cracks beneath his collarbone.

"You might as well just leave it, it doesn't even hurt any more," he said and belied his words by flinching as he lowered himself onto the operating table.

Esme and Jasper moved towards the table, Jasper gripping Edward by the knees and pressing down and Esme holding his wrists, placing them on his stomach and putting pressure on.

"Damnit," Edward muttered.

"Don't think about it," I said suddenly. "Read my mind." I moved to the end of the table and placed one hand on either side of his face. He looked up into my eyes.

_'Thirteen days,'_ I thought._ 'Then we'll be placing those rings on each other's fingers for real. I don't know yet what I'll say to you, but it'll be what I feel - that you fill my heart and soul. You're my life, Edward...'_

I caught sight of Carlisle's hands from the corner of my eye, gripping two tools which looked horrifyingly similar to a chisel and a pair of pliers, but I shut them out quickly and continued.

_'I never could have imagined this when I Imprinted on you. I fought against it with everything I had, but I couldn't stop myself loving you.'_

"Me too," Edward said softly.

_'Remember the first time I kissed you, in Houston? You shot across the room, completely horrified. I didn't know what to do with myself; I was mortified and shocked that I actually wanted to kiss you.'_

Edward smiled and then rolled his head back and screamed as the chisel-like implement drove into his shoulder just below where the original wound had been. His body writhed and struggled and Esme and Jasper leaned down harder, putting all of their strength into keeping him still. Carlisle pulled out the tool, leaving a jagged hole surrounding by a myriad small cracks and I suppressed a shudder. The doctor swapped hands with the implements and poked the nose of the pliers into the new wound, bringing another scream from Edward's lips.

"Stop! Leave it!" he yelled.

"Hold still," Carlisle said calmly. "It'll be over in a minute."

Edward lowered his eyes to the tool which was delving into his shoulder and hissed through his teeth and whimpered. I bent lower over him until my nose almost touched his.

"Don't look at it, baby, he's nearly done. Look at me," I said aloud. I immediately felt the eyes of Esme and Jasper land on me and felt my cheeks flushing over the term of endearment, which had slipped from my mouth without me even thinking about it.

Edward's black eyes fixed on mine and in a few more seconds Carlisle pulled the implement out of him with the flattened bullet gripped in them. Immediately Esme and Jasper relaxed their hold on Edward and I straightened up.

"Stay still, Edward, let it start to heal up first," Carlisle warned.

"Yeah." Edward licked his lips and I moved to the side of the table and slid my hand into his. Esme brought a foam cup with a lid and a straw in it from the chiller on the far side of the room and gave it to me.

"He might need a couple of these," she said and I nodded.

It reminded me of the time in the hotel in Florence where I had fed Edward blood and held him, praying that he would recover from my poison. I held the cup while he sucked up the contents through the straw and then relaxed. I kept eyeing the wound Carlisle had made, noticing the gradual shrinking of the hole and the diminishing of the cracks. Esme brought another cup to me and then they all left us alone. I held the second cup for Edward and then pulled a stool up beside the table and sat on it, holding his hand and stroking my fingers slowly through his hair while we waited for him to heal properly.

"Thank you," he murmured after a while. "For your thoughts."

"Thirteen days," I reminded him. "I can't wait." I bent over and brushed my lips against his. I tasted the faint coppery hint of blood lingering on his lips and straightened up again. "Soon you'll be my husband."

Edward smiled at last. "I can't wait either."


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

I expected the thirteen days to drag, but it seemed like no time at all before another weekend came and went. I had booked a room in the one good hotel in Forks for our wedding night, not telling Edward about it, but intending to surprise him after we had exchanged rings. I decided I would wear the suit Carlisle had bought me for Jasper's wedding, but I invested in a new shirt and tie to go with it, not having much in my wardrobe aside from t-shirts and sweaters. I hid them at the back of my part of the closet for the moment, doubting Edward would notice. I didn't have to worry about what he would wear, he had so many suits and shirts to choose from he could have worn a different one every day for weeks.

The ring boxes were hidden in our sock drawer and each day we took them out and tried them on briefly, reluctantly taking them off again afterwards and returning them to the drawer. We had discussed what to tell everyone afterwards and decided we weren't going to hide anything. If we didn't say anything, we would have to take the rings off again and neither of us wanted to have to hide the fact that we had made a commitment to each other. The only times I would take my ring off would be if I planned to phase and hunt, or if I was undertaking a job in the garage which would risk me damaging it - on those occasions I would wear it on the chain around my neck.

A couple of days after the jewellery store robbery, Paul had called me and we talked for quite a while. He apologised for his past behaviour and admitted that Imprinting had made him understand better how I felt and when Edward saved Stacey, he realised he had no reason to go on hating the vampire. The Cullens had never really been our enemies and we had fought on the same side more than once, but he had never been able to accept them as allies. Curiously I found myself telling him that I was going to marry Edward, despite Sam and Carlisle's warnings that it wouldn't be accepted.

"That's what we were really doing in Forks that day," I said. "We bought rings and as we left the store, Edward heard the thieves' thoughts. I made Stacey promise not to tell you."

"Shit, you're really gonna marry him?" Paul exclaimed. "How, if no one will allow it?"

"We're just going to make up our own vows and exchange rings. It won't be official, but it'll be enough. You won't tell Sam, will you? I'll tell him afterwards."

"No, I won't tell anyone," Paul agreed. "What about Embry and Quil, I thought they were your best friends?"

"I'm going to talk to Embry, but the rest I'll tell afterwards. I don't want anything spoiling this."

"When is it?" Paul asked.

"Next Saturday."

"Good luck."

That night I wrote in Dad's journal, noting that we planned to marry and hoping that despite everything that was against it, Dad would have supported us. I felt that he would have although he would have worried about the consequences.

It was the following Wednesday before I actually thought properly about our impending wedding night. The last few days, Edward and I had been so pre-occupied with the excitement of actually marrying each other, that this hadn't been mentioned. Of course we had fallen into bed and each other's arms every night the same way we always did, eager to kiss and lick and touch, but it took a quiet period at work for me to dwell on the reality of what we were doing and suddenly nerves kicked in. Three days and I would be losing my virginity and at the same time taking Edward's. It had been so long since I read about it that although I hadn't forgotten what I learned, I knew I needed more. I didn't want to fumble it or hurt him or worry about me hurting, assuming he wanted to take me too. We hadn't talked about it, not even in the shy way we discussed awkward things, with me thinking and him whispering. I wasn't sure what he wanted out of it, but my main priority was to make it good for him.

I glanced at the clock and my order book. It was early afternoon and I had nothing booked in for the rest of the day. Unless some random driver pulled in and asked for a service or a tire change or something, I had four hours to kill, probably without interruption and there was no way I could research anything properly at home. Edward and I were rarely apart and I didn't want him to catch me reading up on the details of how to have sex with him. My face heated up at the thought and I glanced at the laptop I used for ordering parts. What harm could it do?

Five minutes later I was sitting on the old wooden chair by the desk, the laptop in front of me, reading about prostate stimulation, my eyes wide and my face burning. I knew so little. I reasoned that Edward didn't know any more than I did - probably less, because I couldn't for one minute see him Googling 'gay sex', but it didn't make me feel any less embarrassed or guilty. There was even a sketch on the screen, showing where the prostate was and how to reach it with your finger - or your cock. Did Edward even have a prostate? He had a heart, but it didn't beat; he had all of the other parts, but they didn't work like mine, except for his cock, which never ceased to amaze me. Essentially he was dead, but he could still get hard and come.

"Oh, God," I groaned. I wished I had more time and suddenly I wished I'd had the foresight to think about practising on myself; even if it was only to test the water by sticking a finger in myself. I imagined doing it and my cock twitched. Flushing even more, I turned my attention back to the computer and read further, confronted next by a dozen different positions to have sex in. I don't know how long I carried on reading and looking at pictures, but I continued to blush and my jeans gradually grew tighter until I was tempted to lock up the garage and get myself off.

"Hey, Jake."

"Fuck!" I almost fell off my chair at the sound of Embry's voice and I slammed the laptop closed. "You fucking scared the hell out of me!" I growled.

"I'm surprised you didn't hear my car," he grinned. "Haven't you any work to do?"

"Not much."

"So what are you doing then? Something you shouldn't be, judging by the colour of your face and your eagerness to hide it."

"Fuck off, Embry," I muttered.

"Looking at porn?"

"No!"

"Let's have a look, then." He reached out towards the laptop.

"Just leave it, Embry." I didn't think my face could have gotten any hotter, but it did at that moment.

"You're just making me more curious." He turned away and snagged the open bottle of coke I had resting on the counter, gulping some before putting it down again. A second later he darted back and snatched the laptop from in front of me before I could stop him.

"Damn you!" I groaned. Why the hell had I been doing this at work? If I had any sense I would have at least locked the door. The last thing I had been looking at was a picture of two guys, one riding the other while the one on his back jerked the other off.

"Fucking hell, Jacob!" Embry closed the laptop again with a snap. "You might have warned me!" His face was as red as mine felt, but I couldn't help laughing now.

"I told you to leave it, it's your own fault."

"You said it wasn't porn."

"It's...research."

"What do you mean, research? Planning on trying something new?"

"No. Look...I was going to tell you this anyway. Edward and me are getting married on Saturday. I asked Sam and Carlisle and they both said no, we can't do it officially, so we're just gonna do it ourselves."

"Woah, wait, you're marrying him?"

"Yeah. Just me and him, no guests or anything, it's the only way we can do it. You can't tell anyone until after, ok?"

Embry shook his head. "Does anyone else know?"

"Jasper and Paul. We bought the rings from Stacey so I told Paul. After that episode in her store, he's ok with Edward."

"Cool," Embry said. "And congratulations. But you already live with him..."

"I know," I said. "But it's not enough. We want the vows and the rings..."

"That's not what I meant. You're reading up about sex like you never did it before."

"We haven't," I admitted.

"But it's nearly a year since you Imprinted and you've been living with him for three months!"

"Well, we're...taking it slow," I said awkwardly. "You forget that neither of us even looked at boys before all of this."

"Yeah, ok." Embry cleared his throat. "So...I'm guessing his family aren't all for this either then."

"Not exactly." I told him what Sam, Carlisle and Eleazar had said to me and although he said he could see what they meant, he was glad we found a way to go ahead and do it anyway. He left me a half hour later and I risked another brief session on the laptop, although this time I kept one eye on the door and my ears alert for embarrassing interruptions. There were none and I wiped the search history from the computer and went home at the usual time, making a mental note to remember to take the lube which was still hidden amongst my underwear, when I packed up the things I wanted to take to the hotel on Saturday. I considered getting some condoms too after everything I read on the laptop repeatedly pointed out the importance of them, but then dismissed the idea. We were hardly usual and there would be no risk to either of us in any form; besides, I wanted to feel everything - his coldness around me, or in me if he wanted that. Every time he touched or sucked me the difference in temperatures and the electricity between us drove me wild and I could only imagine what it would feel like to have my cock being squeezed inside his frigid tunnel. I stiffened rapidly and shivered. Three more days and I would find out.

The rest of the week was busy for me and when I locked up just after twelve-thirty on Saturday and drove home, the butterflies that I had been keeping at bay with difficulty filled my stomach and threatened to choke me. Just a few more hours and suddenly I was nervous as hell. I worried that I would forget what I wanted to say to him, that it would sound lame, that we would get to the hotel and I would lose it in five seconds, or hurt him or he wouldn't like it. My heart hammered and my palms sweated and I was relieved when I got home to find that only Jasper and Alexa were there. Esme and Edward had gone hunting and Carlisle was at the hospital. I took a shower and then asked Jasper to help me out with one other detail I had wanted to keep as a surprise.

Jasper vanished in an instant and returned in minutes with two cherry coke bottles - one containing blood - along with a pair of wine glasses. I packed them in the bag I had placed on the bed along with a pair of jeans and a shirt for me to wear on Sunday morning. I picked out jeans and a shirt for Edward too along with socks and underwear for us both. Jasper hovered, teasing me about tying the knot while I packed everything and he told me he intended to tell Carlisle and Esme that we had gone on a special date after we had gone. Then we could tell them whatever we wanted on our return. I waited until Jasper left the room before removing the lube from my drawer and hiding it in the bag beneath everything else.

I went outside to put the bag in the trunk of the Volvo and then took a shower and put on the new shirt and my suit, pacing nervously as I waited for Edward to return. He came in just before four o'clock and immediately hurried up to the room.

"You look hot," he grinned. "Is that a new shirt?"

"Yes." I smirked at the compliment and pulled him close to me. He rested his hand on my chest over my racing heart.

"You're nervous."

"Yeah."

"Me too." He pressed his face into my neck. "Not about marrying you, but...tonight. I don't know anything."

It was the first time it had been mentioned and I hugged him tighter against me.

"I'm nervous too," I told him. "It'll be ok."

He pulled away from me slowly and gave me a shy smile, then seemed to pull himself together and strode into the bathroom. A moment later I heard the water running and various items of clothing flew out of the door quickly as he undressed.

"Don't forget the rings!" he called to me.

"Shit," I muttered. I had forgotten. They were the only thing I hadn't thought of and I quickly removed them from the drawer we had kept them in and put the box containing Edward's ring into my pocket.

Edward came out of the bathroom again minutes later, naked and scrubbing his hair vigorously with a towel. My eyes travelled quickly down his body and then back up. He was so beautiful and nerves aside, I couldn't wait to make him mine physically.

"You're looking at me like I'm something to eat," he smirked suddenly, dropping the towel on the floor.

I grinned and watched as he put on underwear and socks, then a light blue shirt and a grey suit and tie. He combed his wild hair, but as usual it refused to lie flat and he gave up, leaving it sticking out at angles in places. He put on a pair of shoes, grabbed the second ring box and slid it into his pocket and then took a deep and needless breath.

"I'm ready."

"No, you're not." Jasper and Alexa appeared in the doorway, Alexa holding two white roses she had clearly cut from one of Esme's bushes. She went to Edward first and tucked one of the buds into his buttonhole.

"Where's Esme?" Edward asked anxiously. "Won't she wonder what we're doing dressed up like this?"

"She's taking one of her endless baths," Alexa smiled. "I saw her lighting candles in there so she won't be out any time soon." She left Edward and came to me to fix my button hole, then Jasper pulled out his cellphone to take our picture.

"Come on, let's have a nice smile, it's the only chance we're going to get," he encouraged.

We posed together and smiled and he snapped away, then promised to text each of us the best one. Ten minutes later we were in the Volvo heading off down the driveway. We had decided to head for the cliff road between the house and La Push, a couple of miles from the Reservation border. Dusk was approaching and there was often an amazing sunset visible from the cliffs if it wasn't too cloudy. The day had been reasonably free of clouds and it looked promising.

Edward parked the car on the shoulder and we picked out a spot a few yards from it, beneath a cluster of trees which grew close to the edge of the cliff. I wiped my damp palms on my pants legs and tried to relax, but my heart continued to bang against my ribs and I wondered if everyone felt like this when they got married. It didn't matter that it wasn't in front of a priest and a hundred guests - it was still real and I was still excited and scared at the same time and praying I wouldn't stand there tongue-tied and not be able to say anything. I should probably have actually planned out what I was going to say, but I knew if I tried to memorise something I would be worse than if I just said what was in my heart when it came to it.

I looked at Edward, nibbling at his lower lip, one hand repeatedly running through his hair and his eyes darting around and I realised he felt exactly the same as I did. It was probably even more important for him than it was for me after he had dreamed of it, hoped for it and practically given up on there ever being a chance of it over the past ninety-odd years. I caught his hand in mine and squeezed it. His lip immediately slipped from between his teeth and he smiled. I kept hold of his hand and licked my lips, deciding it was down to me to go first. He was even more nervous than me if that were possible. I paused as I wondered what to say to him and then simply began to talk, trying not to think too much.

"Edward, I never knew that I could feel this way about another person. You came into my life by accident, chosen for me by fate and at first I didn't know how to be with you; how to love you. I grew to love you as a friend first and then as a partner and although the Imprint guided me in the right direction, now it's not just fate's tie that makes me want you with me every minute, but my heart and soul.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. To laugh with you, stand by you and protect you and be someone that you can depend on always. I vow to love you today, tomorrow and forever. I am honoured to take you as my husband and I promise that no matter what happens, I will always be there for you."

My voice wobbled slightly and I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. Somehow what I wanted to say had just started pouring out of me without me stumbling or stuttering or thinking too much. I removed the ring box from my pocket and took the ring out of it, returning the box quickly before I slid the wide gold band onto his finger.

"With the gift of this ring, I make you my husband and I promise always to love you, support you and be faithful to you. You're my own beautiful vampire and I will be with you always."

I lifted my eyes from the ring on his finger to his eyes, the gleaming gold orbs gazing at me adoringly and I took another deep breath and relaxed. Edward smiled and gripped my hand tighter.

"That was perfect."

I beamed at him and stayed silent as I waited for him to speak. He took out the larger ring first and held it in the palm of his free hand, his eyes meeting mine again.

"Jacob, today I take you to be my husband. From the day you came to me in Volterra I felt the connection between us and it has grown stronger every day since. Gradually it became the love that I feel for you now, which makes me feel alive. I vow to love you and cherish you, to keep you safe and protect you, to share everything with you. I will always be there when you need me and I promise to be the best husband I can be. I vow to make this day and every day after it one that you will cherish and I give you everything that I am."

He paused and slid the ring onto my finger and then gripped my hand in both of his.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you and my trust in you and I promise to love you and remain at your side forever."

Tears stung my eyes and I blinked rapidly, guessing Edward would be doing the same if he were able to cry. I hadn't imagined that the simple act of exchanging rings and making promises to each other would be so moving or mean so much and it didn't matter that no one was there but us. It was real and he _was _now my husband. I drew him towards me and our lips brushed together almost reverently.

"I love you so much," I whispered. "Thank you for marrying me."

"I love you too, always."

We just held each other for several moments and then I asked him to stay there and wait while I hurried back to the car. I popped the trunk open, removed the wine glasses from the bag and opened the bottle of cherry coke, filling one glass before opening the bottle of blood to fill the other. Then I returned to Edward and passed him the one glass. His nostrils flared slightly as he took it from me and his eyebrows rose.

"You thought of everything."

"We can't have a wedding without toasts," I grinned, clinking the rim of my glass against his. "To us - wolf and vampire, united as one forever."

"To us." Edward sipped the blood and we turned to look out over the cliff. The brief covering of cloud had thinned and the visible area of the sky was a swirling mix of red and gold as the sun slipped out of sight.

We stayed there together, slowly drinking the contents of the glasses before we returned to the car, Edward somewhat reluctantly.

"I almost don't want to go back," he sighed.

"We're not going back yet," I grinned, steering him to the passenger side of the Volvo and opening the door for him. "I have another surprise for you." I jogged around to the other side of the car and slid behind the wheel.

"Where are we going?" Edward asked.

"The Golden Eagle," I said.

"The hotel?"

"Yes, we have the honeymoon suite for the night," I smiled. "We'd never get any privacy at home, Jasper and Alexa would be hanging around us wanting to hear all about it the minute we walked in."

"Thank you." Edward beamed and relaxed in his seat, holding his hand up to look at the ring on his finger again. "I can't believe we're married."

"I know, me neither. Are you still nervous?" I asked, referring to what was to come next.

"Not so much. Do you know...what you want to do?"

"I've a few ideas," I smirked. "I looked some things up on the internet."

Edward put his hand over his mouth and giggled and it reminded me of the time when I told him I had lurked outside his house for two hours listening to him play the piano. He had giggled like a little kid while I had been mortified at having to admit it.

"You can laugh," I said now. "I'd like to have seen your reaction to the stuff I read. My face was on fire and worse than that, Embry caught me."

"What? Where were you?" Edward gasped.

"At work. I didn't want you or any of the others to catch me," I said sheepishly. "At least he's not a gossip and he was more embarrassed than me."

Edward guffawed now and for the moment at least, any fears we had faded away as we travelled to the hotel. When we arrived, I took the bag out of the trunk and suggested Edward check us in, since he had ID stating he was now twenty. I wasn't so sure the hotel would be too keen to welcome a seventeen-year-old and I had made the booking in his name instead of my own.

Ten minutes later we were in the room - or rooms - which consisted of a huge bedroom dominated by a king-size four-poster bed, a slightly smaller lounge and a large bathroom with a shower stall big enough for two and a circular bath tub sunk into the floor. A basket of fruit and a vase of flowers stood on the coffee table in front of the long leather couch and a room service menu rested beside the telephone on the bed table. I knew I would be making use of it later. I hadn't eaten since lunch and that had only been a sandwich, my stomach too full of butterflies to accept food.

Suddenly those butterflies returned as I eyed the bed and I took out the still half full bottles of cherry coke and blood, deciding we should sit down and relax for a little while. It was stupid really - like Embry said, we had lived together for three months and it wasn't as if we weren't completely familiar with every inch of each other's bodies already. But taking that final step seemed like a huge deal and I didn't want to rush it and wish later we had done things differently. I passed Edward the glass of blood, shrugged out of my jacket and dropped it onto a chair, loosened my tie and then sat down on the couch. He joined me immediately and snuggled against my side and gradually we relaxed together, not even talking as we slowly drained the glasses and put them down on the table.

Edward straightened up and slid his jacket off, then removed his tie and I waited for him to finish before I reached out and drew him against me. I cupped his face in my hand and guided his lips to mine, tasting a hint of the blood he had drunk as I kissed him. He slid his hands around my neck and his lips parted to admit by tongue as I deepened the kiss, the familiar chill of him making my heart race and my cock stiffen as I unfastened his shirt with one hand and stroked my fingers over his chest. Finally the time had come for us to make love and I realised that the fact we had married first now meant just as much to me as it did to him.


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

We drew apart briefly to remove shoes and socks and then made our way into the bedroom and slowly took off the remainder of each other's clothes. I stepped out of my shorts and my erection bobbed eagerly in front of me, longing for Edward's touch. I ignored it determinedly and dropped to my knees to pull his underwear down, brushing my lips against the pale pink head of his cock as it quivered in front of my face. I got up again quickly and drew him onto the bed, sliding my arms around him and holding him tight against my body as we kissed more heatedly than before. As I thrust my tongue into his mouth, he moaned and the sound aroused me further. I slid my hand down his back to his butt and ground myself against him, the heat of my cock thrusting against the chill of his. I shivered at the thought of actually being inside him and I knew I would disgrace myself way too fast if I didn't do something about it first. Reluctantly I released him from my arms and shifted away slightly, stroking my hand over his chest and bending to follow my fingers with my lips, pausing to bite and lick one of his nipples while I pinched the other between finger and thumb.

"Oh, God," Edward gasped, squirming beneath me. He slid a hand into my hair, his nails scratching my scalp, his legs parting as I slowly worked my way lower, my lips brushing over the hard abs. I reached down with one hand, trailing my fingers up and down the insides of his thighs, turning my head to watch his cock straining upwards close to my face, pre-cum beginning to ooze from the slit. I cupped his balls in my hand and squeezed, then briefly palmed his erection, pressing it down against his belly and catching a glimpse of the gleaming gold band on my finger. I couldn't seem to stop looking at it, even now.

I glanced up at Edward's face and saw him watching me, his lips parted slightly, eyes shiny black with his excitement. Keeping my eyes on his I lifted his cock up and bent to circle the head with my tongue, dipping into the slit and tasting his sweetness. He shuddered and groaned, throbbing in my hand. Probably a good idea to get both of us off before we moved things forward, I thought, but at least I could try preparing him while I was doing it.

I let go of him and leaned off the side of the bed to where I had placed my bag, pushing my hand under the clothes I had packed until I found the small bottle of lube. Edward watched curiously, biting his lip as I uncapped the bottle and squeezed a little of the cool fluid onto my fingers. My hand shook and I put the bottle down again, trying to remember what I'd been reading about. I moved further down the bed and kneeled between Edward's thighs, pushing them wider apart as I bent to give his cock the attention of my lips and tongue again. Grasping it around the base, I flattened my tongue and swiped it up and down his length, then drew the head between my lips and sucked firmly. He shivered and pulled his knees up either side of me, trying to push himself deeper into my mouth.

Slowly I reached down with my index finger, slick with lube, stroking along the ridge behind his balls - _perineum - _until I felt the tight puckered skin there. My heart was banging with excitement and nerves as I circled the fingertip and applied slight pressure as I continued teasing him with my mouth. I pushed the tip of the digit harder against him and suddenly it slid in to the first knuckle. Edward whimpered and shuddered and I glanced up at his face, letting his cock slip from my lips.

"Is this ok?" I murmured.

"Yes." He had his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he panted through parted lips. I always imagined if I put my hand on his chest when he did that, I would feel a heartbeat.

Now I pushed my finger in deeper, as far as it would reach and let out a gasp of my own as his muscles gripped and squeezed. He was colder inside than out if that were possible and so incredibly tight. I couldn't imagine how my cock would ever fit in him when he was virtually crushing one finger, but it twitched at the thought of being encased inside him and I stretched out on my belly, gyrating my hips to rub myself against the bed. Slowly I slid my finger in and out as I continued working his cock, not too hard in an effort to avoid making him come too fast. Gradually I inserted another finger and he moaned loudly, his fists clenching at his sides.

"Does that hurt?" I asked anxiously.

"No. You won't be able to hurt me this way."

I doubted the same would apply to me, but I was relieved anyway. I pushed both fingers deeper and curled the tips upwards, exploring and hoping until my middle finger brushed a walnut-sized bump and Edward's butt suddenly bucked up off the mattress, his muscles squeezing almost hard enough to break my fingers.

"Holy shit!"

I grinned and repeated the action, pushing his arching body down against the mattress and taking him in my mouth again. His balls were already tightening and pulling themselves up against his body and the base of his cock pulsed in my hand. I looked up and noticed his eyes were closed, his teeth biting into his lower lip so hard it had lost its colour and he had stretched his arms up above his head, his hands gripping the fancy ironwork at the end of the bed. The muscles in his arms and shoulders strained and he moaned and panted as I continued to move both of my hands and my mouth rhythmically. I could feel he was close and his body began to jerk erratically as he attempted to thrust his cock deeper into my throat and at the same time grind himself onto my fingers. He came hard and I swallowed rapidly as he flooded my mouth and throat and I found myself grimacing slightly as his muscles crushed my fingers harder. I released his cock slowly.

"Edward...relax, baby," I hissed.

The pressure diminished and I withdrew my fingers as he took his hands off the metal curls he was clutching at.

"Shit, did I break the bed?" he half-panted, half-laughed.

"No, but try not to grip so tight when we make love," I said, shaking my hand.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry." He drew me down beside him on the bed. "It was just so...it was amazing. Do you want me to do that?"

"Yes," I said at once, remembering my neglected cock as it twitched impatiently against my stomach.

Edward leaned closer, his lips teasing mine lightly as he stroked his fingertips down my body before capturing my cock in his hand and simply holding it, squeezing gently but otherwise not moving. I shuddered and thrust myself against his palm, eager to feel his mouth on me and to see if I enjoyed being touched inside as much as he had. Whatever he did, I knew I wasn't going to last very long and I rolled onto my back, watching as Edward worked his way tantalisingly slowly down my body, his cool lips trailing kisses down the centre of my chest and then to my navel, deliberately ignoring my cock as I struggled to thrust it closer to his mouth.

"Please," I begged eventually.

"Please what?" Edward glanced up at me and grinned.

"Oh, God. Touch me...suck me...anything." I looked down again and met his gaze. He kept his eyes on mine as he slid further down the bed, slipping his tongue out of his mouth to flick it against the head of my cock and capture the bead of pre-cum that glistened there. He looked so hot and naughty, looking up through his long lashes at me and the sight almost made me come without him actually doing anything else. I closed my eyes reluctantly and breathed deep in the hopes that I might last long enough for him to do the same thing I had done.

Much to my dismay, he abandoned my cock a moment later and left it lying heavy against my stomach, quivering and throbbing in frustration. I heard the click of the cap on the lube and held my breath as I waited for what would happen next. Relax, I told myself. From what I'd read, I doubted it would be as easy for me as it had been for him.

Edward's hand came to rest on the inside of my thigh, guiding my legs apart. I pulled my knees up the same way he had done and immediately felt vulnerable and exposed. I trusted him, but I realised I was more nervous than excited and I shuddered as his lube-slick finger brushed between my legs, stroking the same areas I had explored on him. My muscles tightened involuntarily and I took a deep breath, forcing myself to loosen up.

"Are you sure you want this?" Edward murmured.

"Yes," I said, not sounding entirely convincing.

The tip of his finger pushed into me and it was instinct to clench up immediately and eject him. I bit my lip and glanced down my body, not particularly surprised to see that my cock had half-softened and was lying at an angle on my belly. Shit.

"Sorry," I said.

"Jacob, if you don't want me to do this, it's ok."

"I do want you to, I'm just nervous. Try it again, please." I closed my eyes again and remembered the way Edward had squirmed and bucked under my hands, how much he enjoyed the feel of my fingers in him and his cock in my mouth at the same time. He had never come so hard.

I felt his finger slide into me and this time I managed to keep relaxed and concentrate on the sensation - ice cold penetrating my heat, pushing deeper and then pulling out again almost to the tip. My spine began to tingle and my skin broke out in goosebumps, my nipples pebbling and my hair standing on end.

"Fuck," I muttered.

"More?"

"Yeah."

He continued working his finger in and out of me and then gradually added a second. I couldn't help a groan and I balled my fists at my sides. Despite the coldness of his touch, the slickness of the lube and the myriad other sensations running through my body, it fucking _burned _and it was all I could do not to tense up and shove him out again.

"Does that hurt?"

"A little."

"I'll stop."

"No, don't. It's...normal...I think," I panted.

I felt his fingers withdraw almost to the tips and heard the click of the lube cap again. He added more and then his fingers filled me again, sliding slowly deeper, searching for the part in me which had given him so much pleasure. The end of his finger tapped something inside me that immediately sent shudders through my body and made my balls tighten and my cock twitch. There is was.

"God...do that again..." I encouraged. I made myself open my eyes and look down as Edward's finger pushed against my prostate again and I was immediately faced with my cock, rearing up eagerly, the purple head swollen and leaking pre-cum. As I watched, Edward's free hand wrapped around it and he bent to take it in his mouth. My worries immediately left me as I was swamped by feelings - the cold moistness of Edward's mouth on me, the slight scrape of his teeth on my shaft, the tight grip of his hand around the base, his fingers thrusting gently inside me, no longer uncomfortable, repeatedly bumping that crazy little gland that made me feel like I would come at any second, the chill running through my whole body from his temperature both inside and outside of me.

"Oh, fuck...I'm gonna come...Edward...Christ..." I gasped.

He ducked his head lower and his throat muscles teased my cock as he swallowed around me. I exploded with a yell, my cock pulsing repeatedly as Edward sucked and gulped, somehow managing not to spill a drop as I flooded his mouth. He continued drawing the last few drops from me until I was a quivering over-sensitive mess, begging him to stop and then he slowly released me, withdrew his fingers and wiped them on a pair of shorts he snagged from the floor nearby. When he lay down beside me again a moment later, I slid my arm around him and kissed him breathlessly, tasting myself on his lips.

Neither of us moved for a while, simply lying holding each other and exchanging little kisses, my eyes repeatedly drifting to the ring on Edward's finger as his hand lay on my chest. It still seemed a little like a dream, that he was my husband, and eventually I pulled him closer to me again, nudging my knee between his thighs and rubbing my rapidly stiffening cock against his thigh. I was still nervous, but a lot more relaxed than I had been and suddenly I couldn't wait to take the final step and make love to him. I rolled over, turning him onto his back and resting my weight on him, both of my knees sinking between his and pushing his legs wider apart. I didn't have to question which position to go for - I wanted to see his face, hold him, feel as much of him against me as possible and the position we were in now was perfect for that.

Edward's hands slid down my back to my butt, squeezing and pulling me tighter against him and I covered his mouth with mine, our tongues toying with each other and arousing us further. My heart banged against my ribs and I drew back slowly after a moment, sitting back on my heels as I reached for the lube again. Edward's eyes opened slowly and watched as I squeezed some onto my fingers first and slid them into him, concentrating on slowly stretching him to accommodate a third finger while he idly stroked his cock. I poured more lube into my free hand and slicked it onto my erection, coating the full length and shivering at the feel of the cool liquid. I tossed the bottle aside and lowered myself down again, keeping my eyes locked on Edward's as I grasped my cock to guide it into him. He pulled his knees up either side of me and took his hand off himself, sinking his teeth into his lip as I pushed myself against him.

"Any time you want me to stop, let me know," I said softly.

"I won't want you to stop," he whispered, shifting his eyes away from mine. "I want you to come in me."

I groaned at the thought and bit my lip as the head of my cock breached the tight ring of muscle in him. I stopped moving, giving him chance to get used to the feel of me while I struggled not to be overwhelmed by the sensation of my cock being gripped tightly in his slippery ice cold tunnel. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and my spine tingled as I began to move again, slowly pushing myself deeper into him and watching his face for any sign he wanted me to stop. His eyes were wide and black, lips parted and his whole body trembled beneath me. I held still again as I bottomed out inside him and he stroked his hands slowly down my back.

"You ok?" I whispered. My cock twitched inside him and his muscles tightened, squeezing every inch of it, firmly but gently.

"Fuck..." he breathed. "It feels amazing; your heat in me. I almost don't want you to move, but at the same time I want you to..." His eyes dropped away from mine. "...fuck me."

"Oh, God." I lifted my hips, pulling back slowly until only the head of my cock remained in him, then pushing myself slowly back in, unable to stop the deep groan escaping me at the renewed sensations as his body took me back inside.

"Mmm...more..." Edward's head rolled back on the pillow and his nails dug into my back. I began to move again, slowly at first, but quickly going harder and faster as Edward's body met each thrust with one of his own until I was slamming into him, skin slapping against skin, his cock twitching between our stomachs, untouched. I was already rapidly approaching another orgasm and I slowed again, propping myself up more and taking my weight on one bent arm as I slid my hand between us and wrapped it around his shaft. He groaned and thrust himself eagerly into my hand and I could feel that he was close too. I wanted to make our first time last, but at the same time I was aching to come and I began to fuck him harder again, realising that trying to balance myself on one hand didn't do much for my coordination. I took my hand off of him again and braced it on the mattress.

"Touch yourself," I encouraged and propped myself up to give him more room. He grasped his cock and began to stroke it, his hand moving at lightning speed as I thrust myself harder and faster into him, making the bed groan and creak beneath us and the iron posts knock against the wall. Edward came seconds before I did, spurting through his fingers onto his chest while his muscles tightened around me, squeezing my length in an almost vice-like grip, while not being quite hard enough to be painful. My orgasm exploded through me and my body jerked erratically as I spilled my seed into him, my eyes fixed on his face. His features were slack with pleasure and his eyes opened slowly as he took his hand off himself and wrapped both arms around me. He relaxed and his grip on me loosened, but he continued to hold me tight against him.

"Feels so good," he murmured. "So hot."

Panting for breath, I brushed my lips against his briefly. "You feel amazing," I breathed. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I made to move away, but Edward's hands slid down to my butt and held me still, his body still gripping my softening cock inside it.

"Stay in me," he said against my ear. "Just another minute."

I let my weight rest on him and stayed where I was, the coldness inside him chilling me more until eventually I softened completely and slipped out of him. Reluctant to lose contact with him altogether, I grasped his hand and pulled him up, leading him to the bathroom to clean up, making use of the hotel wash cloths and towels and deciding to try out the huge bathtub later. We returned to the bed and lay down in each other's arms and it occurred to me that really I had been worrying about nothing. It wouldn't even have mattered if things hadn't gone so perfectly - _we_ were perfect together and that was what mattered. I was still tingling from the aftermath of coming twice in rapid succession and from the delicious chill of Edward's body, but I knew my wolf stamina wasn't done yet. The other part, I was slightly more nervous about, but at the same time I longed to feel his cock inside me.

"Are you sure you want to?" Edward murmured in my ear.

"Spying?" I grinned.

"Just checking you're not doing things only to please me."

"Yes, I want to, although I'd still want to please you regardless," I admitted.

"I'm worried I'll hurt you; you know how hard I am. No pun intended."

"Just go slow, I'll be ok."

We lay together for a little while longer, exchanging soft kisses until Edward's hand stroking up and down my back caused me to harden again, the way his cold touch always did, no matter what part of my body he was in contact with. I edged closer to him and my cock bumped his, which was rigid and twitching. I grinned and he slid his hand between us, holding both of our erections together and rubbing them lightly for a moment. When he let go and rolled away from me to find the lube, I breathed deep and relaxed, hoping I would enjoy it as much as I enjoyed fucking him.

Edward bent to brush his lips against mine and his hand, slick with lube, lightly ran down the length of my cock to my balls. I slid my legs apart and a moment later his fingers were there, the tip of one pressing against my entrance. It slipped in easier than before and I shivered at the sensation of the cold digit penetrating me. He quickly added a second finger and began to work them in and out, moving them in such a way as to stretch me. The third finger burned uncomfortably and I suppressed a groan, forgetting that Edward was most likely still invading my thoughts.

"I hate that I'm hurting you," he sighed.

"I'm fine, I'll get used to it in a minute. I want your cock in me," I said. His erection twitched against my hip and I grinned and curled my fingers around it. "Come on, I'm ready."

Edward sat up and opened up the lube again, coating his erection liberally in it and I realised I should have bought a bigger bottle. The way things were going, it would just about last the weekend. Edward chuckled and put the bottle on the bed table before moving between my spread legs. I pulled my knees up and eyed his cock as it bobbed eagerly in front of him. It was virtually the same size as mine; I had explored every inch of it with my hands and mouth a hundred times, but suddenly it seemed huge and I wondered how it would ever fit in me.

I watched him move closer, lowering himself over me and supporting his weight on his knees and one arm while he guided himself. I felt the cold blunt head push against me and I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and allowing my body to go limp. He pushed his way in gradually, stretching me and forcing the ring of muscle in me to give way. I resisted the urge to clench my fists and took another breath as Edward held still and let me get used to the invasion. He was so fucking big.

"I'm not, you're just _really_ tight," he murmured. "Shall I stop?"

"No, I'm ok."

He moved again, filling me slowly and the uncomfortable burn lessened quickly as his coldness penetrated me. As his length slid deeper into me, I felt each icy inch and a chill began to crawl up my spine, making me shudder. He stopped moving again and held still, his hips tight against mine, his elbows either side of my head keeping his weight up. I felt full and stretched and the discomfort had vanished.

"Fuck," I gasped. "That feels incredible."

"I know, I feel like if I move I'll come."

Edward pressed his face into my neck and stayed still for another minute and I folded my arms around him, my cock quivering impatiently between us until eventually he began to move. He pulled his hips back slowly until only the head of his cock remained in me, then slid it back in just as tentatively. Even though I was already chilled from holding him in me, again I felt every inch as it filled me once again. I wondered if he had felt the same sensation as this from my heat - the extreme temperature change, the feel of every ridge on his cock, the softness of his balls bumping gently against me.

"It was like being on fire, but in a good way," he murmured. "Now it's the same, but surrounding me. I could come without even moving, just from the feel of you. Are you ok?"

"Yes, go faster," I encouraged. He lifted himself up a little more and began to fuck me more quickly, but he was clearly still being careful not to be too rough. I wrapped my hand around my cock and began to pump it in time with his thrusts, realising that despite two orgasms already, I wasn't going to last very long, especially when every so often Edward's cock would bump my prostate and send shudders through me, making my balls tighten and my muscles squeeze him harder.

"I'm almost there," he groaned a minute later and began to slow down in an apparent effort to prolong things.

"Don't, I'm right behind you," I panted. "Come in me, Edward, let me feel it."

With one more deep thrust he came. I felt the ice cold fluid spurt from him into a deeper spot in me than his cock had reached and I tipped over the edge rapidly, my hot cum shooting through my fingers and painting my chest, my muscles clenching tighter around Edward. He let his weight sink slowly onto me, his body trembling and his cock still jerking inside me with the last of his orgasm.

"Fuck...Jesus..." I gasped. "You feel so good." I slid both arms around him again and raised my legs, crossing my ankles behind his back. I knew exactly how he had felt when our positions were reversed - I wanted him to stay in me as long as possible. Eventually I felt his cock shrinking and softening and it slid from me almost reluctantly. Edward rolled onto his side next to me and kissed my ear.

"Which way did you like it best?" he asked.

"I liked both just as much," I said honestly.

"Me too," Edward whispered.

"But I need a bath." I sat up, grimacing at the wet feel of cum oozing out of me. Strangely it still felt cold. "You want to share that tub with me?"

Edward nodded and got up. As he went to the bathroom to begin filling the tub, I grabbed the room service menu, suddenly realising that I was starving. I quickly ordered a burger, fries, cheesecake and a drink for ninety minutes' time so that we would have plenty of time to enjoy the bath first, but then I wouldn't have to wait too long for the food. I went to join Edward in the bathroom and found the tub already a third full of water, the surface covered with lemon-scented bubbles. Edward stepped into the water and sank down, moaning at the feel of the hot water. We rarely had the opportunity to take baths together. Edward's bathroom only had a shower and we didn't like to fool around in the main bathroom with at least a couple of the other Cullens usually in the house. Now I slid into the hot water and sprawled out beside Edward, pulling him close to my side as we relaxed and took advantage of the hotel's facilities. We only had the one night and both of us wanted to savour every minute we had.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

We sprawled in the tub for almost an hour, Edward relishing the scalding water and me relishing him, his cool hands resting on me, his lips brushing my cheek or my neck every so often as we cuddled and talked. When I eventually drew away from him and hauled myself out of the water, my fingers were wrinkly and my stomach was rumbling impatiently with hunger. I dried off and put on one of the hotel's bathrobes, then switched on the television and lay on the bed while I waited for Edward to finish in the bathroom and for the room service I had ordered to arrive. Thirty minutes later I was tucking into the food eagerly, trying to ignore my naked husband as he lay on his back beside me, his head by my feet and his golden eyes fixed on me. His pale skin almost seemed to glow in the artificial light from the television and he watched my every move.

"Damnit, stop looking at me like that," I groaned around a mouthful of cheesecake.

"I'm hungry too," he grinned, rolling onto his side and kissing my ankle, then slowly beginning to work his way up my leg, pulling the bathrobe open to uncover my body. My soft cock slowly began to fill again and lift itself from my thighs as Edward's lips moved tantalising closer to it until he had turned around and was nibbling at my hip.

"You're a tease," I said, quickly putting my empty plate on the bed table and shrugging the robe off.

"I'm not. I want you to make love to me again." He pressed his face into my groin, inhaling my scent and then drew one of my balls into his mouth, rolling it around on his tongue and sending a rush of desire through me.

"Jesus, Edward." I rested my hand on his head and combed my fingers through his hair. The picture I had been looking at when Embry caught me came to mind and I smirked as I imagined me doing that with Edward. "Come here," I said.

He let my ball pop from his mouth and sat up, his own erection straining against his stomach.

"Want to try something different?" I asked.

"Ok."

I propped the pillows up behind me and leaned against them, then pulled Edward closer to me, guiding him onto my lap until he kneeled astride me, his butt resting on my thighs and his balls lightly touching mine. I found the lube again and squeezed some onto my fingers, reaching around him to prepare him again while I slowly stroked his erection with the other hand. He squirmed on my lap and leaned back on his hands, his muscles clenching tight around the two fingers I had inside of him.

"How long did you spend Googling, exactly?" he smirked.

"Long enough to learn a few variations." I withdrew my fingers and began to coat my cock in lube. Edward straightened up again and shifted his position, pulling himself up on his knees and resting his hands on the wall above my head as I held my shaft upright and guided the tip into him. He bit his lip and groaned and I watched as he lowered himself tormentingly slowly, fascinated by the sight of my dark cock disappearing into his white body, the overwhelming feeling of coldness surrounding me again. I placed my hands on his hips and held him still for a moment, my eyes raking over him as he sat there, my cock buried deep in his ass, his eyes rapidly darkening with desire, his own erection quivering in front of him, the head already glistening with pre-cum.

"You're so beautiful," I breathed. "I'm so lucky. Fate knew what it was doing last year; I might not have thought so at the time..." I stopped and groaned as his muscles tightened slightly and squeezed my length, the chill of him making me shiver and squirm. "I love you so much," I finished.

"I love you too." He leaned down until his chest touched mine, bringing out lips together, his eyes closing and his tongue plunging suddenly into my mouth. I opened for him, letting him invade my mouth as I filled him, unable to stay still any longer and bucking my hips upwards eagerly. He broke the kiss and sat up, resting his hands on the wall again and slowly beginning to ride me, lifting himself until only the head of my cock remained inside him and then lowering himself again slowly until he rested on my thighs.

"Holy shit," I gasped. We began to move together, a little clumsily at first with me trying to thrust up into him as he slid up and down on me, but quickly we found a perfect rhythm together, Edward riding me faster and faster while I grasped his cock in my hand and began to pump him in time to his movements on me. He panted and groaned, his butt slapping my thighs and his hands gripping the ironwork above my head, slowly bending parts of it out of shape. Already having come three times, we lasted somewhat longer although I could feel my orgasm approaching slowly and determinedly, Edward keeping pace with me, his muscles gradually gripping me tighter and the base of his cock swelling and pulsing in my hand. I squeezed harder, watching the pink head emerging from my fist with each pump, switching my gaze from it to his face every few seconds. He had his head thrown back, eyes closed, lips parted as he panted loudly.

"Fuck, I'm coming," he groaned suddenly, slowing his movements and grinding himself down onto me, his hips gyrating and his body pulling my own orgasm from me as his cum exploded from him through my fingers and onto my chest.

"Edward! Fuck!" I yelled as my cock jerked erratically, spilling my seed inside of him. He sat still, shuddering, his chest rising and falling rapidly, opening his eyes slowly. I released his softening cock from my hand and couldn't resist licking my fingers, tasting his sweetness and grinning as my cheeks heated up under his gaze. Reluctantly he slid off me and headed for the bathroom to clean himself up. Smirking, I wiped myself on the robe and tossed it onto the floor, then collapsed back against the pillows as I waited for Edward to return. This time I really did feel spent and when he lay back down beside me and switched off the television, my eyelids were already heavy. I wrapped my arms around my husband and held him tight, feeling his hand lightly stroking my back as I drifted into sleep.

When I opened my eyes again it was daylight. I was facing away from Edward and he was moulded to my back, his arm around me and my cock in his hand, his own erection pressing against my butt. He sensed the second I woke and his hand began to move slowly, his lips nibbling at my neck. I twisted my head around to kiss him and gently pulled his hand off of me.

"You don't want to?" He looked crestfallen and I couldn't help grinning as I moved away from him and sat up.

"Of course I do, I just have the inconvenience of needing to pee."

I headed for the bathroom and immediately heard smothered laughter as Edward pressed his face into the pillow. I took care of business quickly, cleaned my teeth and eyed myself in the small mirror. I had a glint in my eyes and I couldn't seem to keep the smirk off my face. I hurried back into the bedroom and found Edward lying on his side where I had left him, his cock hard and leaking. Heat flooded to my groin at once and I lay down with my back to him the way I had been when I woke.

"Where were we?" I murmured.

"About here, I think."

Edward's arm snaked around my middle and he pressed himself against my back, gently biting my ear. He moved his hips slightly and his cock came to rest in the crack of my ass. I groaned and pushed myself back against him, my cock rapidly hardening as he teased it with cold fingers. I was disappointed when he removed his hand and pushed me onto my stomach and I gyrated my hips, rubbing myself against the mattress as I waited for him to touch me again. Goose bumps broke out down my back as I sensed him hovering inches from me and then his lips brushed the back of my neck and began to work their way slowly down my spine. I squirmed and wriggled and Edward rested a hand on me and pinned me down, making me groan in frustration as my erection twitched between my stomach and the bed where it was trapped. I wondered what he had in mind and not knowing was only serving to arouse me more.

I slid my legs apart as he planted one last kiss at the bottom of my back and then a hand squeezed one of my cheeks, the thumb stroking lightly along my crack and not quite touching where I wanted him to touch. I whimpered and squirmed, clenching my fists beneath the pillow. My balls ached and my cock was so hard it was almost painful. I moaned in frustration when he took his hand away again and he chuckled softly.

"Damn you," I muttered. "You're killing me; I need to come."

"You don't want me to go on teasing you, then?"

I could hear the grin in his voice and I glanced back over my shoulder at him. He was kneeling beside me, his erection quivering in front of him and the bottle of lube in his hand.

"Just...carry on..." I panted.

I heard the snap of the bottle cap and seconds later a cold, slick finger was between my legs, stroking and circling my hole. I parted my legs further and relaxed, trying to breathe deeply as the tip of his finger pushed into me, not pausing this time but sliding all the way in. I shuddered and rolled my hips, trying to get some friction on my cock from the mattress. Edward added a second finger more slowly and although I could feel the tight, stretching sensation, it didn't burn.

"Oh, God," I groaned. I hoped he was going to fuck me this way, although I doubted my ability to hold out for more than a minute or two.

"Is this ok?"

"Fuck, yes." I lifted my hips slightly and slid my hand under myself, gripping my cock with a sigh of relief.

"Make yourself come," Edward encouraged, thrusting his fingers in and out more quickly.

"That won't take...much effort." I rested my forearm on the bed and began to fuck my fist, Edward timing his movements with the thrust of my hips. The tips of his fingers repeatedly bumped my prostate and I barely lasted another minute before I came all over my hand and the bed beneath me. Edward withdrew his fingers and I shifted to the side away from the wet patch before I sank down onto my stomach again, panting and shuddering, but longing for more. When I forced my eyes open and looked back at Edward, he was still kneeling there, stroking himself lightly and uncapping the lube again. I watched as he squeezed some out and began to coat himself in it and my half-softened cock twitched beneath me. I couldn't wait for him to fill me again.

I felt the mattress dip as Edward moved closer to me again and then he was pushing my legs wider apart, positioning himself between them, pushing the head of his cock against my entrance. I was relaxed and stretched and the head slid in without much effort, then he stopped moving.

"You ok?"

"Yeah...more, please," I whimpered.

He lowered himself over me, his weight supported on his forearms either side of me and his cock pushed deeper into me although the position didn't allow him to get quite all of his length into me. I knew if I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees he could go deeper, but I stayed where I was, loving the feel of his body covering mine, his temperature both inside me and out making me shiver, my hair standing on end. His left hand came to rest over mine and laced our fingers together and I turned my head to the side, eyeing the gold rings we wore. I doubted I would ever stop marvelling that we were married.

Edward continued thrusting into me slowly and smoothly for a few minutes, tormenting me as my cock lay trapped beneath me, unable to get any friction. Eventually I moaned in frustration, clenching my muscles around him and trying to buck up against him. He pulled himself up slowly, his chest leaving my back and his hands gripping my hips, raising them to allow him to stay in me as he kneeled up. With my head and arms still resting on the mattress and my butt in the air, I groaned as he thrust deeper into me, his balls slapping against me as he gave me his full length. I muttered incoherently as he fucked me, steadily at first and then harder, one arm sliding around me to grasp my neglected cock and pump it in time with his thrusts.

"Uh...fuck...unh...harder...oh God...mmm..." I babbled senselessly.

Edward's movements sped up and when I looked back at my cock, his hand was flying over it in a blur, his own cock pounding into me at what felt like similar speed. Another orgasm began to build in me rapidly.

"Fucking Christ!" I yelped.

"Shall I...slow down?" Edward panted.

_"No!"_

I came hard, my cock shooting long jets of cum towards my face, my ass clenching tighter around Edward and pulling his own orgasm from him. His thrusts became erratic and awkward, his cock jerking and spilling inside me, his hand slipping from my hip and his upper body collapsing onto my back. I slid down slowly until I was spreadeagled on the bed, Edward's weight still resting on me, his softening cock slipping free and resting between my thighs.

"Fuck..." I hissed. "That was amazing."

"Mmm." Edward's lips brushed my shoulder and then my neck. "I love you. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No." I was a little sore, but I knew the feeling would be gone in minutes. Another advantage to our species - I could take him fucking me that hard and not worry about the after effects. "I love you," I whispered.

He nibbled his way along my shoulder and raised his head. "You taste salty."

"I need a shower." I glanced at the clock on the wall and grimaced. It was already nine-thirty and we had to check out at eleven. I had ordered breakfast for ten in the room when I booked. We just had time to clean up and for me to eat and our wedding night would be over. "Share it with me?" I suggested.

He peeled himself off me and got up and I followed him into the bathroom. We spent too long under the hot spray, soaping each other and cleaning away the evidence of what we had been doing, then just holding each other and exchanging kisses until a knock on the door indicated my breakfast had arrived.

"Shit," I muttered, pulling away from Edward reluctantly. I wrapped a towel around myself and went to the door, finding a tray outside containing orange juice, coffee, bagels with cheese and some fruit. I went to sit on the bed to eat, then changed my mind when I saw the state of the stained sheets. Smirking, I went into the lounge instead and sat on the sofa, still clad in only a towel. Edward finished in the bathroom and I called out to him that there was a change of clothes for him in the bag I brought. I watched through the open door as he got dressed, placed my clothes on the chair in the corner of the room and packed away the rest of the items, including the near empty bottle of lube.

"I think we need to buy some more of this," he grinned.

"Slut," I chuckled.

"I'm a hundred and ten, I have a lot to make up for."

"Lucky for me." I finished the breakfast and dressed quickly. "Damn, I hate that we have to go home. I should have booked a week."

"I'll put a lock on the door when we get home."

"You might want to get a stronger bed. And sound-proofing," I joked.

We left the room and went down to the lobby to hand the key back and then went out to the car. Time to face the music.

"Carlisle and Esme are going to be pissed," I sighed as I sank into the passenger seat.

"They'll get used to it. It's not as if we took an ad out in the newspaper. No one will know unless we tell them."

"The rings are pretty obvious."

"Well, I'm not taking mine off," Edward said determinedly. "It's staying right where it is forever."

"Mine too," I agreed. "If I have to take it off to phase or to protect it at work, it's going on my necklace."

Edward drove home slowly and when we arrived, we discovered that for once everyone was there. I almost wished Emmett and Rosalie were back from New York although I doubted Rose would have been on our side when we strode into the house, hands in pockets for the moment and asked to speak to the family. Jasper and Alexa came down from their room quickly and joined us in the music room.

"So, what have you got to tell us?" Jasper asked with a smirk. Esme glanced at him and he just shrugged.

"We got married," Edward blurted, pulling his hand out of his pocket to reveal his ring. I did the same.

"Congratulations!" Jasper shot across the room and grabbed both of us at once in a three-way hug while Alexa beamed and clapped her hands. I noticed a worried expression cross Esme's face and as Jasper stepped away from us, Carlisle's face stiffened, his eyes steely.

"Edward, I already spoke to Jacob about this..." he began.

"I know you did." Edward's hand slid into mine and I squeezed it firmly. "No one knows. It's not as if we could do it officially, is it? We couldn't go to a human priest, even if Jacob was old enough and Eleazar made it pretty clear he wouldn't do it for us. I'm well aware of your views, but you know how much I wanted this. If it had been anyone but a wolf, you would have approved. I'm not stupid, Carlisle, I know what the dangers are, but we did this ourselves and it's enough for us, but not enough to draw attention to us so I don't want to hear about how we made a mistake, how it's forbidden and we should have had more sense or how the fucking Volturi will get to hear about it somehow. Jacob's my husband and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it!"

I was surprised by his sudden anger and I put my hand on his arm, squeezing gently. "Baby, you're crushing my hand."

"I'm sorry." He loosened his grip and glared defiantly at Carlisle as he waited for him to speak.

"Edward, you're entitled to make your own decisions; my concern has always been the safety of all of us and there will always be a chance your union could bring trouble upon us..."

"So are you saying you want us to leave?" Edward interrupted harshly.

"Of course I'm not and I'm sorry if it sounded as if I might suggest that," Carlisle said at once. "You are part of this family, Edward - both of you are now - and you always will be. I _am_ happy for you, although it probably doesn't seem like that to you. My personal feelings are that you should be able to have what you want; contrary to what I've said, I'm not against this, I'm only worried about the outcome and I'd hoped to discourage you to prevent what may well happen in the future. Since it's now too late, we can only stand together should there be any repercussions."

Edward relaxed slightly.

"Have you spoken to your family - pack - yet, Jacob?" Esme asked.

"No, I will later. I know Sam will be annoyed, he was dead set against it too when I asked him a few weeks ago," I said. "But I'm afraid if he doesn't like it, it's too bad. I don't even live on the Reservation any more and much as I have a loyalty to the pack, my loyalty to Edward far exceeds that and I'll leave if it comes to it. I kind of wish I was older; when I'm twenty-one I'll have title to my share of the house and I could sell it to go towards getting our own place. I can't even rent until I'm eighteen though."

"You want to move out, Edward?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, of course we'd love our own home," Edward said at once.

"Well, you have enough money to buy one. Then again, why don't you get them a house for a wedding present?" Jasper aimed at Carlisle. "Just because me and Lex turned it down, doesn't mean they won't."

"Jasper, keep out of this," Carlisle frowned.

"I'm only saying."

"Edward...Jacob..." Carlisle turned his attention on us again. "I do own a property that I'd be willing to give to you. You know the one, Edward - the cottage just off the road between here and Forks."

Edward nodded and his eyes lit up. "Seriously? You'd let us live there?"

"I'll happily sign the place over to you..."

"Wow!" I put in, somewhat astonished by Carlisle's apparent sudden support.

"...on the condition that you stay here for the remainder of the year, for a number of reasons. First, Jacob is still a minor and there would certainly be questions from the locals about you living there together before he's eighteen. Secondly, I believe that your father, Jacob, would have preferred that you remain in my care until you're an adult."

I sighed heavily and nodded. "Yeah, I guess he would have."

"Finally," Carlisle continued, "...people will find out about your marriage, however you might try keeping it a secret. Obviously you're going to tell your pack, but others will find out, even if it's only Jacob's customers seeing his ring and asking questions."

"I'm not taking it off," I frowned.

"I didn't say that. But the pair of you will be better off under our roof for the present until we find out exactly what kind of impact this has, if any. If it does get back to the Volturi, I have no doubt they'll make their presence known and all of us presenting a united front will be safer for you and us if they should decide to do anything about it. By early next year, if nothing has been heard from them, it'll be reasonable to assume that either the news really hasn't spread, or that it doesn't interest them enough to respond...although I doubt that would be the case."

"What would they do? Come here and try to kill us for getting married?" I asked.

"Possibly," sighed Carlisle.

"They can't be any more pissed with you for tying the knot that they already are," Jasper said reasonably. "You two were the cause of more than half of them getting killed last year and their headquarters destroyed. I would have thought you getting married isn't going to make a blind bit of difference. If they're going to do anything, it'll be revenge rather than horror over the vamp-wolf union."

Everyone turned to look at Jasper and Edward grinned suddenly. "I'd actually managed to forget that with all the excitement lately."

"Carlisle?" Esme prompted. "You said yourself if the Volturi make an appearance after what happened last year, our cousins would stand with us."

"As they will; providing Eleazar doesn't take exception to this latest development and prefer to keep out of it."

"You really think he'd leave us at the mercy of the Volturi because he's pissed they ignored him and got married anyway?" Jasper said.

"We all know what Eleazar is like," Carlisle said and then continued for my benefit. "He was a spiteful boy and only became more so after he was changed. Let's not forget either that he was a Volturi guard. His loyalty lies with his family now, but he still has a lot of the same views he had when he served in Italy. He won't put his family in danger when he thinks one of mine has done wrong."

"Well, let's hope the pack doesn't turn their backs on me, then," I said. "I guess I better call Sam and get it over with."

"Do you really think they would?" asked Jasper.

"I don't know. Sam was pretty adamant when I told him I wanted to marry Edward, but on the other hand, Embry and Paul both knew and they support us."

"Invite Sam here," Carlisle told me. "Perhaps his Beta too. A chat over the phone between the two of you probably won't be the best way of doing it."

"I'll ask him to bring both Jared and Paul," I said. "Jared's always been sort of on the fence about us..."

"Great, bring Paul, a fight is just what we need," grumbled Jasper.

"He's on our side," I reminded him. "Since Edward saved his Imprint, his attitude changed completely. Strange as it might seem, considering the way he behaved before, he might just be the one who can help us out here."

Carlisle nodded. "Go ahead. Bring the three of them here and we'll see what they have to say."

I pulled out my phone and selected Sam's number, pulling Edward closer to me and sliding my arm around him. What had been a special weekend for us had suddenly become an operation to try once again to gain acceptance and it would probably prove more difficult than getting them to accept my Imprint.

* * *

**A/N -** If you like Paul & Embry as a pairing, check out this great one-shot, it brought a tear to my eye - "Stay Another Day" by ShadowFin.


	32. Chapter 32

**Thanks, everyone, for reading and for all the great reviews. Hope you continue to enjoy the saga :o)**

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Sam's truck pulled up in front of the house just over an hour later and he, Jared and Paul all got out. I went to the door to let them in, my left hand in my pocket for the moment.

"Hey, guys, thanks for coming," I said.

"You sounded serious on the phone." Sam stared at me for a second and then looked behind me at Edward who was a little way down the hall. "Is there a threat?"

"Not yet. Come on in."

Sam and Jared stepped past me into the house and began following Edward towards the rear lounge.

"So? Did you do it?" Paul asked me in a low voice.

I glanced over my shoulder at Sam and Jared's retreating backs and then pulled my hand out of my pocket. Paul glanced down at the ring and smirked.

"How did it go down with your lot?"

"The Cullens are 'my lot' now?" I raised my eyebrows.

"You know what I mean. You're part of the family now, aren't you? Are they ok with it?"

"They have to be, we didn't give them much choice. They'd have preferred us not to have done it though. Jasper was the most supportive."

Paul grinned. "Somehow I think Sam will prefer you not to have done it too."

"I know he will," I sighed.

"Hey...you two coming in?" asked Edward, striding down the hallway towards us.

"Yeah, just..." I was about to say 'gossiping', but Paul interrupted me.

"...offering congratulations."

Much to my surprise he stuck his hand out for Edward to shake. Even after Edward had saved Stacey, I didn't really think Paul would be quite so friendly. Edward shook hands and then backed off and led us through to the lounge. Paul dropped into an armchair where indicated and Edward and I sat on one of the small sofas. His left hand was resting in his lap and I took it in mine, but the expression on Jared's face indicated he had already seen Edward's ring. I rested my left arm across my knees, letting him see mine too. I saw his lips mouth the word 'fuck' and I bit my lip.

Sam's eyes drifted over us and then narrowed as they caught sight of my hand. I squeezed Edward's hand tighter. I didn't suppose it could be any worse than Carlisle's initial reaction.

"I can see why we're here," Sam spoke up. He looked like he wanted to direct everything he had to say to me, but restrained himself out of politeness given we were in Carlisle's house.

"Our boys took it upon themselves to marry," Carlisle said.

"How did you manage it?" Jared asked. "Surely no one would marry you, you're too young, Jake, besides the obvious." He aimed an unpleasant look at Edward.

"We did it ourselves. It's not official, there's no record of it, but it's official to us," I explained.

Sam frowned. "Then surely there's no difference to you merely being together, except for the obvious signs."

"You're nuts," Jared said. "You think playing at being married is ok? You're playing with people's lives. This won't stay a secret for long, whether there's an announcement in the newspaper or not!"

"Jared," Sam reprimanded quietly.

"What? I only said what you're thinking. Paul, I'm surprised you've got nothing to say."

"I've got plenty to say," Paul said mildly. "Like I think the pair of you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Jake's been living here for months; from what I've heard people say, they just think Carlisle kind of adopted him after Billy died. I hardly think they're going to give two hoots if he unofficially marries Edward. It's not like any of us or the tribe can do anything about it. Let them say what they like."

Sam and Jared both turned to look at Paul in disbelief.

"You're missing the point," Sam said. "The elders all know the real situation here and believe me, they have never been happy about Jacob moving into the - sorry, Carlisle - enemy camp."

Carlisle smiled slightly and shrugged.

"Maybe they want to think about the fact that the Cullens are on our side when it comes to threats and that Stacey would be dead if it wasn't for Edward," Paul continued.

"Paul, this is my responsibility to deal with." Sam's frown deepened.

"So why bring me along then, huh? You think that because Jake and I had differences, I'd condemn him? It's not just me, Embry and Leah are happy enough about it. Em told Leah," he added for my benefit. "She was pissed she didn't get an invite. She says she never gets a good excuse to be a girl."

"Paul!" Sam hissed.

I chuckled quietly and shot Paul a grateful smile.

"Our main concern is the possible reaction of the Volturi, should they get to hear about Jacob and Edward's union," Carlisle said. "I doubt we could rely on our cousins should anything occur; Eleazar doesn't approve either."

"He thinks we're an abomination," Edward put in.

"You are," Jared said under his breath.

"Jerk," Paul muttered. "Your cousins, whoever they are, didn't come to Volterra either. I seem to remember that the pack and you vampires manage to defeat most of them, even in their fort, to get Jake and Ed out, so surely if they decide to flit on over here to complain about them getting hitched, they're going to have even less chance on our lands."

"Paul's right," Jasper spoke up. "And as I've already said, if the Volturi are going to go to the trouble of coming here to raise hell, it'll be because of what we did to them. The guys getting married is neither here nor there to my mind."

Paul glanced at Jasper and nodded. Sam let out another sigh.

"I suppose that makes sense," he said. "So, Carlisle, do you have a plan in the event that they do pay us a visit?"

"Not as yet, but perhaps together we can decide on the best form of defence. Of course, there's no guarantee it'll be needed..."

"...but it's a probability," added Jasper. "And without Alice..." He paused and winced. "...we don't have the foresight we had before. We can't see them coming."

"I believe if they do make an appearance, it'll be some time during the next few months," said Carlisle. "The Volturi have set up a new base in France and have been replenishing their numbers. Until Jacob is eighteen, he and Edward will stay here with us and we'll be prepared for anything that might happen. So we need to know that should the need arise, we can call on the pack..."

"Of course," Sam said. "The safety of the Reservation is priority, but regardless of that, we've always been allies in a way...and I guess we are closer now that Jacob and Edward are united."

"Like the Montagues and the Capulets," Edward whispered and I grimaced.

"At least they're uniting over our marriage and not our deaths."

"We should probably brush up on our training," Jasper said now. "It's almost a year since the battle."

Sam nodded. "I agree."

"You're just going to roll over, just like that?" Jared said in disbelief.

"I'm surprised at you," Paul said. "What's wrong with you? You're the one I'd least expect to have a problem with this. Well, maybe not the least. Embry, Leah and Seth are all ok."

"You talked to Seth?" I raised my eyebrows.

"He overheard Embry and Leah talking. He's cool, but he didn't get why you didn't tell him, Jake."

"I'll call him," I said. "And Quil."

"Hey, there's a couple of you vamps missing," Paul said suddenly. "Where's Emmett and the blonde bi-?"

"Paul," Sam said warningly and the unusually happy wolf grinned.

"Emmett and Rosalie are in New York," Esme said. "I'll send for them this afternoon. Everyone should be here."

"Well, I hope Rose is ready to apologise," Edward frowned.

"If she is, she'll probably change her mind when she sees our rings," I replied.

"Sam, I already have your number, but perhaps we should all exchange numbers," Carlisle suggested now. "Should we need the presence of the pack..."

"Calling takes time," I said. "If we need them, I'll phase and call them. One howl and they'll be here in minutes."

"Are you still patrolling?" asked Carlisle suddenly.

"Not regularly," answered Sam. "We'll step it up from tonight."

"There will be no need for you to continue observing the boundary," Carlisle said. "If your patrol takes you onto our land, no one will bother you. We'll be out hunting and keeping an eye out for intruders ourselves."

All three wolves nodded, Jared with something of a resigned look on his face. I was still confused as to why he was the one to complain more than the others. Me being with Edward didn't affect him in any way and as far as I was aware he hadn't been particularly antagonistic when I moved in with the Cullens. He had been reasonably supportive after I Imprinted and had been the one to put Paul in his place in Volterra. I shrugged and put the thought aside. He had agreed to the pack and the Cullens standing together again should there be a requirement for it and that was all that mattered.

"Jacob, you'll be required to take up your responsibilities within the pack again as far as patrolling goes," Sam said then.

I nodded at once. "If you want to work out some kind of rotation and let me know." I hated the idea that patrolling would take me away from Edward some nights, but it was necessary for all of us to put our safety first. However, Jasper took pity on us at that moment.

"Perhaps you could excuse Jacob and Edward for, say, a week, they are newly-weds after all." He winked at us and smirked. Edward dropped his eyes and suppressed a grin while my face heated up to the extent that I was surprised I didn't catch fire. Sam and Jared cleared their throats awkwardly and Paul guffawed and waggled his eyebrows.

"Fine. Ok," Sam said, frowning, apparently willing to agree to anything at that moment if it resulted in a change of subject.

"I think we should iron out the details on patrolling when Emmett and Rosalie return," said Carlisle, casting a disapproving look in Jasper's direction. He just grinned back and Alexa elbowed him.

The discussion continued for a short while and then the three wolves left. Carlisle had made it clear that not only would the pack be welcome to patrol the Cullen land, but any member who wished to see me, could now visit without invitation. Embry and Leah had gotten to be good friends with Edward and me and had been to the house a few times, but Carlisle extended the open invite now to the others as well. Delighted, I called Embry and asked him to come over in the afternoon and bring Leah, Seth and Quil with him.

Carlisle went to the hospital then and Esme called Emmett to request he and Rosalie come home. Jasper and Alexa went hunting and when the pack guys arrived, we all hung out in the music room for a while. All four of them were happy to congratulate us, although Seth gave me a none too gentle punch for not telling him beforehand. All of them seemed willing to accept Edward and although surprised, were pleased to be able to visit me if they wanted. Although I could see them on the Reservation, it was still impossible for me to take Edward with me. Sam had already spoken to Quil and Leah by phone and told them of the plans to step up patrols again and Edward and I now went into more detail about the possibility of the Volturi returning.

Quil left after a couple hours, saying he was expected home, but the others agreed to stay for dinner after Esme invited them. As Quil had brought them in his truck, I promised to drive Embry, Leah and Seth back to the Clearwaters' later and Esme set to work on a pot roast for the four of us while Edward went out to hunt alone.

I decided I may as well take the opportunity to pass Dad's journal to Sue while I was over there and I fetched the thick book from my room and updated it one final time, explaining briefly to the others that Dad had asked me to read the journal and then ensure Sue kept it safe. I wrote that I had married Edward and that as soon as I turned eighteen we would be moving into our own home together. I ended the entry by sticking in a print of the photograph Jasper took of us on Saturday before we left to get married and wondered if anyone would ever read it in the future - perhaps another young wolf of a future generation, wanting to discover what his ancestors had been like. He would get a hell of a shock when he discovered one of them married a vampire, unless the pack and the Cullens coming closer together now changed things for the future.

"Are we allowed to read it?" Seth asked.

"I'm not sure. You should ask your Mom. I read it with Edward, but no one else has seen it. I'm happy for you to read it, but your Mom's a Council member so it's up to her. There's nothing secret in it though, it's mostly about Dad's life from being a teenager, meeting my Mom and having Rach, Becca and me and then about me phasing and Imprinting on Edward. I've added a few paragraphs myself about marrying him." I closed the book as I said this, wondering if I would ever see it again and realising that deciding to hand it to Sue now was an unconscious thought that if anything happened to me at the hands of the Volturi, the journal would be safe.

After dinner, I borrowed Edward's car to drive the others home and stayed a little while to talk to Sue. Sam had already filled her in on developments and she congratulated me politely, although I got the feeling she was only doing it so as not to upset me and because Leah and Seth were there looking expectantly at her. She was in the end a Council leader, having taken Harry's place when he died, and one of the tribe marrying a Cullen wouldn't sit well with her. She did, however, promise to keep the journal safe although I knew she was agreeing for Dad rather than me.

I drove home pensively, still feeling strange that people who had virtually treated me as one of their own family not long ago, now welcomed me more out of politeness and duty, for the sole reason that I had fallen in love with someone that had always been classed as an enemy.

When I got back, I spent the rest of the evening alone with Edward. Jasper and Alexa had gone to their room and Esme was busy with something. Edward played the piano for a while and then we retired to our room, shot the new bolt Edward had fixed to the door and made love until we were quite literally drained. I fell asleep the instant I laid my head on the pillow after cleaning up in the bathroom.

I was back at work the next day of course and it was a busy day for me. I barely had time for a break for lunch although I managed to find time to send Edward a few texts and to call him for five minutes to tell him I loved him and I couldn't wait to get home to him. I locked up at the end of the day in relief and drove home quickly, finding that Emmett and Rosalie had arrived just a few minutes before me. Emmett was unloading their luggage from the trunk of the car while Rosalie stood watching, smoothing the wrinkles out of some fancy new outfit. Emmett dropped the bag he was holding when I got out of the car and grabbed me in a bear hug.

"Hey, little bro!" He rubbed his knuckles on the top of my head and I flinched.

"Jeez, Emmett, get off me!"

"Yeah, you still stink, even if you are a Cullen now." He pulled a face and shoved me away from him, causing me to stumble into the side of the car.

"So do you, doofus." I straightened up and looked at Rosalie, wondering what kind of reaction I was going to get from her. Emmett had taken her away to New York with the threat of keeping her there until she was ready to apologise, but now that I had married Edward I didn't think an apology would be forthcoming. Jasper had called Emmett after Esme did and told him the whole story so Rose had probably been working herself up into an even worse temper all day.

"Hello, Rosalie, how was New York?" I said pleasantly.

"Wonderful actually, being three thousand miles away from you," she sneered. "I was hoping miracles would happen and that I would return to find you gone, but no, you have to go on with this farce of pretending to be married..."

_"Rose!" _bellowed Emmett angrily. "Put a lid on it!"

"No, I will not 'put a lid on it', Emmett! I can't believe all of you are happy about this. What is Edward thinking? Is he really so blinded by this stupid Imprint thing that he'd put us all in danger by tying the knot with this mangy cur?"

The front door burst open and Edward, Jasper and Alexa flew out of it, Edward appearing at my side in a blur while the other two halted on the steps.

"What the hell is going on?" Edward demanded. "You're right about one thing, Rose, love is blind, otherwise how did Emmett manage to put up with you for seventy-odd years?"

"I thought the idea of this trip to New York was for you to return in a better temper," Jasper added calmly.

"What is it with all of you?" Rosalie snapped. "Has the dog put a spell on you or something? Don't you see what could happen? The Volturi won't tolerate this and all of us will be in danger because of you two freaks...!"

"That's enough, Rose!" Emmett snapped.

"We've already been over this," Edward said. "We had a discussion yesterday about the possibility of the Volturi reacting. Some of the pack were involved..."

"Oh, you mean it's not just Jacob now? The house is going to be overrun with dogs and we're supposed to just put up with it?" Rosalie exclaimed.

Emmett grabbed her suddenly by the upper arms and shook her hard enough to give a human whiplash. "I have just about had enough of this shit!" he snarled as she wrenched away from him. "The trip to New York was supposed to be good for us, but no, you have to ruin it by fucking whining about Jacob and Edward every damned day! You are my _wife, _Rose, and I love you, but you can be a fucking bitch sometimes. You better pay attention, because I'm not going to repeat this. If you can't get it together and start behaving like the woman I fell in love with, it'd be better if you go stay with our cousins, because I am sick to death of this constant irritation from you! Jacob is part of the family and he's here to stay, so you better get used to it, or go."

"What?" Rosalie gasped, her eyes wide. "You'd put _him _before _me?"_

"It's not just about Jacob, is it? Don't you think you're hurting Edward every time you open your nasty mouth? Carlisle and Esme don't need you behaving like a fucking spoilt child all the time and I'm sure Jasper and Alexa would rather have a peaceful atmosphere than hear you screaming about nothing. You're affecting the whole family, Rose. I'm not putting Jacob before you - I'm putting six other people before one who's full of hate."

"Well..." Rosalie breathed. "I guess I know where I stand now, don't I?" She turned away and walked slowly up the steps to the house, her back ramrod straight and her nose in the air.

"Shit," I muttered.

"Emmett, you didn't really mean that, did you?" Jasper asked in surprise.

"Yes, I meant it," the big vampire said sadly. "New York was hell. I can't put up with it any more. She's got two choices and if she decides on Alaska, then it's over."

Emmett gathered up the bags and followed Rosalie into the house and the rest of us dispersed, Edward and me to the kitchen where Esme was preparing a meal for one as usual. We stayed there while she cooked and then I ate before we retired to our room. Edward didn't need to hunt and we decided to keep out of the way for the time being. The atmosphere in the house was almost tangible and Emmett and Rose hadn't been seen since they returned home. For myself, I hoped that she would go to Alaska, but I knew it would hurt the others, particularly Emmett and for that reason I wished I could have gotten along with her. Even Paul had eventually accepted Edward, but Rosalie was like Paul after someone had murdered his Imprint. She seemed even more hateful than when we had gone to Houston to find Jasper and when I had first moved in.

Alone in our room, Edward and I quickly forgot about the others as we fell upon each other eagerly and several hours passed without a thought being cast in the direction of anyone except each other. It was approaching midnight when I realised I should sleep or risk not being able to get out of bed for work the next day. I cleaned up quickly and left Edward in the shower as I made my way to the bed, but paused as a light knock sounded on the door.

"Yes?" I said.

"It's Rosalie. May I talk to you for a minute, please?"

My eyebrows rose. She wanted to talk now?

"Hold on a second." I grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on quickly before unbolting the door and opening it. Rosalie's nose wrinkled immediately and I frowned.

"I'm always going to smell of dog, Rose," I sighed.

"It's not that, it's..." She glanced past me at the tangled bedding. "...never mind."

I bit my lip to suppress a smirk. The room probably reeked of sex - we had been going at it for hours.

"What do you want, Rose?" I asked. I heard the water stop running in the bathroom and guessed Edward would appear at the speed of sound if he thought it was necessary.

"I...um...I suppose I..." She stopped and cleared her throat. "I owe you an apology."

"That sounded painful," I blurted before I could stop myself and immediately she scowled.

"Look, I can't pretend to suddenly like you. You know how I feel about you and I expect you feel the same about me."

"Absolutely, but at least I make an effort," I put in.

"Please, let me say this," Rosalie's scowl intensified. "Much as I hate to admit it, what Emmett said was right. I'm upsetting the whole family and I don't want that. I don't want to leave him. You probably think I have a funny way of showing it, but I love him. He saved me a long time ago from a pain I thought I would never get over. If I lose him, I'll have nothing." She cleared her throat again and sighed as if she was really forcing herself to continue, but her frown dissipated somewhat.

"It's not just Emmett. I know I'm hurting Edward by being so vile to you and I don't want that either. He doesn't deserve it. He went through so much pain too and I guess you saved him, in more ways than one. I doubt we'll ever be the best of friends, Jacob, but I'll at least try to get along with you in the future. I don't want to break up this family just because of my own selfish feelings, it's not fair on everyone else."

I was speechless. I didn't doubt that most of what she said was intended to pacify Emmett and fix their relationship, but if she would even be civil to me rather than bitching at me and upsetting Edward, I would happily meet her halfway.

"Say something," she prompted now. "I wouldn't blame you if you told me to drop dead."

"Thanks," I said. "I know this is prompted more by the fear of losing Emmett than anything else, but if we can even be polite to each other, it'll be better for everybody. I don't hate you, Rosalie, I'm just pissed at you because your behaviour hurts Edward. Paul was the same until Edward saved his Imprint, so I get where you're coming from."

Rosalie nodded and backed up a couple of steps. "That's good. Perhaps a new start tomorrow then?"

"Sure." I gave her a small smile.

"You might want to...um...open the window," she added with an even smaller smile and vanished in a blur. Grinning, I closed the door and shot the bolt again just as Edward emerged from the bathroom.

"Wow," he said. "That was...interesting."

"Yeah, even if it's only for Emmett's sake, at least it'll make for a calmer atmosphere," I said. "Oh, and we need to open the window. The room smells of sex."

"Can't imagine why." Grinning, Edward threw himself onto the bed. "Come here, I want to watch you sleep."

"Rose is right about one thing," I said as I stripped off my jeans and lay down. "You are a freak."


	33. Chapter 33

**Thank you as always, for reading and reviewing. This is a bit of a filler chapter as I need some time to pass in the lives of Jacob and Edward, but hopefully you'll find it entertaining, particularly the second half ;o)**

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

The following day Carisle held a lengthier discussion on the phone with Sam, working out a regular training period to be held in the meadow and deciding on a rotation of patrols. Each night a pair of wolves would patrol La Push and meet up with either me or one of the Cullens at the border to exchange notes towards the end of each shift while in turn a couple of the Cullens or one of them with me would patrol our land and the area between La Push and Forks. One day a week I would patrol La Push with another pack member. On Sunday afternoons all of us were to meet up in the meadow for mock fights and training. Jasper had already trained with Alexa before they moved back to Forks and she was incredibly fast and agile, almost like Alice had been.

During the first training session, I made efforts to talk to Jared. He was the only one who seemed to really have a problem with me being married to Edward and I still didn't understand it. The others either accepted it and supported us or at least agreed that if the Volturi were going to come after us, whether we were married or not would make no difference. Even Sam, who had done his best to discourage me from marrying Edward, now accepted it and Rosalie had been as good as her word during the past week. Although she hadn't been what I would call friendly, she hadn't been rude or nasty and had spoken to me civilly whenever we were in the same room.

I cornered Jared while we were still in human form, observing Sam and Paul's wolves sparring with Emmett and Jasper.

"Are you going to tell me what your problem is?" I asked.

"I don't have a problem," he shrugged.

"Yeah, you do. What was all that shit last week when you came over to the house? When you all came to Volterra to rescue me and Edward, it was Paul who had the attitude and I seem to remember you telling him he was out of order, so why have you suddenly changed your mind?"

"I haven't," Jared said awkwardly. "You know I understand you wanting Edward, because of the Imprint. I guess I just don't understand why you would want to marry him."

"I love him," I said. "Imprint or not. It's the logical step, isn't it? Sam's marrying Emily in a few weeks, Paul's talking about proposing to Stacey...don't tell me you're jealous."

"Of course I'm not jealous." Jared scowled. "I'll marry Kim too, one day."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I guess it's just taking me longer to get over the fact that this marriage thing is more likely than anything else to bring trouble here. After the battle with the newborns it seemed like everything had calmed down; like there wouldn't really be much need for the pack any more. Sam was just as concerned as me to start with, I was actually surprised he accepted what you all said so fast. The last thing we need here is an invasion from the Volturi."

"Jasper already addressed that," I reminded him. "If they're gonna come after us, they'll be more keen to get revenge for what we all did to them, rather than worry about a vampire marrying a wolf."

"Whatever the reason, look at what we're doing now? Gearing up for a fight we don't even know for sure is going to come. How long is this going to go on, Jake?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," I shrugged. "No one expected the Volturi to come rushing over here right after we destroyed their fort. They'd want to ensure at least a reasonable chance of success if they do attack. They've been spending time finding a new headquarters and recruiting members of the guard. We'll just deal with it when and if, like we always do. That's what the pack is for, right?"

"Yeah, it is. I guess I just hoped it was all over. Every time we phase we halt our aging and I for one don't want to be stuck at seventeen forever. Maybe I want to grow up, become an adult and get a home with Kim, have children..."

"Is that what this is about?" I said in surprise.

"It's part of it. I know, I'm being a jerk..."

"No, you're not. But listen, this isn't going to go on forever. Some day in the not too distant future, either the Volturi will turn up or we'll get some kind of confirmation they're not going to bother, which I doubt, but whatever...one way or another it's going to be over. We're not going to be stuck at seventeen for good. You're not, anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Edward was changed at seventeen, he's stuck like that. I'm never going to leave him - even after all this is over, I'm going to keep on phasing so I can stay with him. You'll all go on and grow away from me and I'll spend the rest of my life like I am now, which means I'll have to move around every few years with the Cullens when we start looking like we should be older. You should stop worrying about having to put things on hold for a few months or a year or however long it is, because for you it will come to an end - this is my life."

"I'm sorry," Jared said. "Have you told the others this?"

"Not directly. We mentioned it once when Embry and Leah were with us, but I'm sure it won't be too hard for the rest of them to figure out that I won't let myself age and die and leave Edward behind. I know I said that this situation is my life, but I didn't mean it to sound like I'm stuck with it, like it or not. _Edward_ is my life and everything else, including the pack and La Push, is secondary. I'm not saying I'll leave without a second thought and that it won't hurt, but..."

"I get it," Jared interrupted. "I'd do the same for Kim, you know I would. I guess at the moment I just worry that she will leave me behind. I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

Edward glided to my side at that moment and slid his hand into mine. "You two are up next. You sorted things out?"

"You know we did." I grinned at him.

"I couldn't help it, my ears were burning." His eyes twinkled and he smiled at me.

"Edward, I forgot to offer my congratulations last week," Jared said. "And I'm sorry for being...kind of like Paul."

"Thank you." Edward shook his hand and turned away as the four who were sparring halted and drew apart. Jared and I stepped behind one of the cars quickly, stripped off and phased.

"Jacob, you're with Rosalie," Carlisle said. "Jared with Alexa."

_"Great choice," _I thought and immediately heard Edward chuckle.

The rest of the training went pretty well. Rosalie went reasonably easy on me, but I didn't doubt that if she hadn't, Emmett and Edward would have been on her in a second. Both were watching with narrowed eyes as we took each other on.

The new routine continued week after week. Still no word came from France and no sign of Volturi members heading our way became evident. Rosalie talked to the Denalis a few times on the phone as she was close to Irina and Kate and they were quick to tell her that my marriage to Edward, however unofficial it was, wouldn't be tolerated by them. They had no intention of visiting Forks again and associating with us and although the Cullens were still welcome to visit, Edward and I weren't included. Rosalie wanted Emmett to take her to Alaska alone to visit, but Carlisle refused, reasoning that with two members of the family away, we would be at even more risk should an attack come.

Gradually everyone began to relax again somewhat. We continued patrolling and training and other than running into a lone rogue vampire one day towards the Canadian border, which Carlisle and Emmett quickly tore apart and burned, nothing else happened. It felt like an enormous anticlimax, but Jasper and Carlisle said several times that they felt as if we were being lulled into a false sense of security. The Volturi would at least contact us at some stage to make their feelings known, but as yet they hadn't even done that.

It was the end of August when Kate admitted to Rose that she was in touch with one of the Volturi - a young guard who had been recruited recently whom she had known years before. He was careful about how much he gave away, but had at least told Kate that Aro was concerned with travelling the globe and was currently in South America, searching out more vampires to entice or force into the guard. Kate's Volturi friend apparently hadn't mentioned Edward and me and it made us all wonder if the Volturi actually knew anything. It wasn't as if there was an official trail they could have heard about. Other than the Cullens and the Denalis, no one knew although Edward said one day that he wouldn't be surprised if Kate told the Volturi out of spite.

As time passed all of us, Cullens and pack alike, became frustrated by the continued silence from the Volturi. It felt as if we were all putting our lives on hold. Sam and Emily had gone ahead and got married, Paul had proposed to Stacey and been accepted and Jared had now bought a ring for Kim, but no one could make concrete plans with the possibility of a threat still looming over us. Christmas was fast approaching and then my eighteenth birthday, which should have been the time Edward and I would move into the cottage Carlisle had promised us. We had been preparing it for some time, adding furniture to the few basic pieces already in it, buying bedding and kitchen items and so on and making use of the bed when we particularly wanted more privacy, but still we waited in limbo for a sign that something would happen. Still it didn't come.

Kate's Volturi friend had spoken to her a few times, but seemed disinclined to give away much information except to say that they had more important things to worry about at that moment than coming to Washington, but whether that was actually true was anybody's guess. Kate made no secret of the fact that she loathed and resented me and didn't think much better of Edward for being with me, so even though she was close to Rose it didn't guarantee she was telling the blonde the truth. All of us began to come to the conclusion that waiting around, constantly tense, wasn't doing anybody any good and at the turn of the year, we would try to move forward although the patrols would continue for the time being.

Carlisle signed the deeds, passing ownership of the cottage to Edward and me at Christmas. He agreed that there was no longer any reason for us to remain under his roof so long as we were alert and continued to join in patrolling rather than isolate ourselves from the family. We therefore moved into our own home the day after my birthday and held a joint house-warming and eighteenth party for everyone. Carlisle and Sam spent only an hour celebrating with us and then patrolled individually with the idea of meeting up every hour.

Edward and I would much rather have spent the first night in our home together in peace and quiet, celebrating in each other's arms, but the pack wouldn't allow my eighteenth to pass without some form of celebration and the Cullens insisted on the house-warming, so at least we got it all done in one go. The pack ate and drank and did their best to overlook the suspicious glasses of what looked like red wine in the hands of some of the Cullens, poured from the supply Edward had stocked the fridge with just in case. I was of course well used to this by now, but a scream of horror came from Emily when she went into the kitchen to refill her glass of juice, only to find a shelf in the fridge stocked with packs of blood.

At last everyone left with Esme and Alexa promising to return in the morning to help us clear up the mess. Every available surface in the lounge and kitchen was covered in empty plates or leftover food, cups and glasses, streamers, balloons, gift wrap from all the presents I was given for my birthday and the joint ones some people brought us for the house. As the last person left, Edward and I locked the door, turned off the lights so we couldn't see the disaster zone our new home had quickly become, and went to bed.

Edward undressed quickly and I watched as one piece of clothing after another disappeared and flew across the room to land on the chair in the corner. I toed off my shoes and unfastened my jeans, my eyes still fixed on his smooth white body as he slid his shorts down and bent to pick them up. His legs were slightly apart and I could see his balls hanging between them as I bent to remove my jeans and shorts.

"Stay there," I said, straightening up quickly.

I glanced at the mirror and saw Edward grin as he rose slightly and rested his hands on the end of the bed. "What have you got in mind?"

"Wait and see."

I peeled off my t-shirt and tossed it aside, my cock already beginning to rise against my stomach as I flicked the light off and grabbed the lube. It was almost a year since I moved in with him - not far off nine months since we married - and we had probably tried just about every possible position by now with the help of Google, but we had our favourites as well as various other little pleasures we enjoyed. I put the lube on the end of the bed and dropped to my knees behind Edward, stroking my hands up and down the backs of his thighs and squeezing his buttocks firmly. He shivered and slid his feet further apart, moaning softly as I slid my fingers between his legs and cupped his balls, rolling them around in my palm, tugging gently. I ignored his erection which I could see from a quick glance around him was curving up against his belly, quivering and leaking.

"Please," he breathed.

"Don't be so impatient."

"I'm aching."

"I've barely started." I released his balls, chuckling and pressed my lips against his hip bone in a soft kiss.

"God, Jacob, don't tease me tonight," Edward begged.

"You know you're going to do the same to me." I spread his cheeks and leaned closer, extending my tongue and swiping the tip slowly up and down his crack, then paused to tease his hole. He shuddered and his fists clenched around the comforter. I pulled my head back again and blew lightly, then began circling his hole with my tongue, jabbing at him gently until the tip penetrated a tiny bit.

"Oh, fuck..." Edward groaned, sliding further down until his head and forearms rested on the mattress.

I continued for another minute, then pulled back and grabbed the lube, quickly coating my fingers and sliding one and then a second into him. Reaching my other hand between his legs, I rubbed my palm up his shaft and stroked my thumb over the head, spreading pre-cum around while I thrust my fingers deeper to find his prostate.

"Oh, God, please, I need more," he whimpered.

"Tell me what you want," I encouraged. Even after a year he was often reserved about talking dirty, but if I teased him enough he would talk like a slut and I loved it. I took my hand off his cock again and squeezed his balls lightly, knowing I was only adding to the frustration.

"I want you to...fuck me..." he panted. "I need your cock in me...fuck me hard, Jacob...make me come...please..."

"Since you ask so nicely..." I would have liked to drag it out more, but I was desperate to be inside him. It had been an interminably long day and we hadn't had a minute alone; I couldn't wait any longer myself. I got to my feet, opened up the lube again and slicked some onto my erection, shivering at the coolness and anticipating the extreme cold of Edward when I entered him.

"Please...hurry up..."

His hips shifted impatiently and he took one hand off the bed and wrapped it around his cock, pumping it slowly as I lined myself up and pushed myself against his entrance. The head slid in smoothly and I paused for a moment, waiting for him to adjust, but he had no intention of waiting. His hips snapped back suddenly and he impaled himself on my length, his body sucking me into his cold tunnel.

"Fuck!" I gasped.

"I've been wanting this all day...can't wait any longer..." he grunted.

I gripped his hips firmly now and withdrew slowly almost all the way, then thrust myself in again, quickly gaining rhythm and momentum, slamming myself vigorously into Edward's body, his hand gripping the edge of the mattress to prevent me pushing him forward across the bed, his free hand wrapped around his cock, stroking it in time to me fucking him. I knew I wouldn't last very long - I never did the first time we touched each other, whether it was with hands, mouths or cocks. I still felt every tingle from his coldness and from the excitement of being with him, just like the first time I had kissed him which now seemed an age ago even though it wasn't even close to two years and I couldn't help wondering if we would be exactly the same a hundred years from now.

"'Course we will," Edward gasped. "It's fate."

"I...love...you," I responded, punctuating each word with a harder thrust into him as I felt my orgasm approaching. It was right there, but just out of reach, until Edward reached his a few seconds later. His muscles clenched tighter around me and I watched his cum jet onto the bed in front of him while I spilled mine deep inside him, my hips jerking awkwardly and my legs shaking, droplets of sweat falling from my face and hair onto Edward's back. I stopped moving and withdrew reluctantly, smirking as a dribble of my warm white fluid seeped from Edward onto his thighs. He looked used and sexy and I knew it wouldn't be long before he returned the favour. I slid my arm around him and pulled him up.

"Come on...shower."

"Mmm...let's just rest here..." he protested, turning his head to kiss my cheek.

"Let's not...my cum's running down your leg," I smirked. "Don't want to mess up the bed in the first five minutes."

Groaning, Edward pulled away from me and went into the bathroom. He was already under the hot spray of the shower when I entered the room and I quickly joined him in the large stall. I picked up the shower gel and began to lazily soap his chest and stomach as he leaned back against the wall. His cock was still half erect and I took it in my hand, lathering it slowly until it rose towards his belly. He turned around reluctantly to let me wash his back and I ran my soapy hands up and down his spine and over his shoulders, then down his legs and between them, reaching under him to squeeze his balls lightly. He turned back to face me at once, pushing my hand off.

"Don't get me too worked up again, I want to take my time." He rinsed off under the shower head and grabbed the shower gel himself. I rested against the wall the way he had done, closing my eyes as his cool hands slid over my body, washing all of me except for my cock which he left until last and then paid particular attention to. I bit my lip, whimpering as he washed it gently and then tightened his grip, stroking firmly until it was throbbing eagerly in his hand. I opened my eyes and pulled him closer until our lips met, caressing his warmly with mine until I had to pull back to breathe.

Edward stepped back and lowered himself to his knees, guiding my cock into his mouth and immediately drawing it deep into his throat, his eyes closed as the water from the shower cascaded straight down onto his head. I watched, intrigued as he sucked me while the water ran down my body, the heat of the spray and the cold of his mouth making me tremble and groan, his hands caressing my balls, stroking my thighs, squeezing my butt until I begged him to stop before I came again.

"Please, I want you in me," I begged.

Edward got to his feet again, turned the shower head away slightly and picked up the lube which we had placed on the ledge with the shower gel and shampoo, for just such an occasion.

"Turn around," he murmured and I faced the shower wall, planting my hands on the tiles either side of me and sliding my feet apart. My cock bumped the wall and I shivered as I waited for Edward to touch me again. I heard the click of the cap on the lube bottle and a moment later his finger was pushing carefully into me, cool and slick, sliding in and out a few times before he added a second. I groaned and dropped my head forward, resting it against the wall as he thrust the two digits deeper, tapping my prostrate and making my cock twitch and throb.

"Christ," I hissed. "I'm ready...fuck me, Edward...hard and fast..."

He withdrew his fingers quickly and I glanced behind me, watching as he applied more lube to his quivering erection. A moment later he was guiding the head into me, pushing it slowly past the tight ring of muscle and pausing until I nodded to confirm I was ready for more. I relaxed as his length slid smoothly into me, his hands gripping my hips to draw me back against him. I grunted as he bottomed out inside me and reached down with one hand to touch myself, stroking my cock slowly as Edward began to move, withdrawing and pushing back in a couple inches at a time, tormentingly slowly. His teeth nipped my ear gently and then my neck.

"You ready?" he whispered.

"God, yes."

His movements gradually sped up until he was pounding himself into me with his insane speed, his cold, slippery cock pistoning into my hot tunnel, cool breath blowing onto the back of my neck as he panted needlessly. I took my hand off myself and braced it against the wall instead to stop myself being crushed against the tiles, knowing that I wouldn't need the extra stimulation of touching myself. My orgasm was already building, my balls tightening and the base of my cock swelling as Edward fucked me.

"Fuck...yes...I'm so close..." I gasped. "Harder, baby..." I knew he only ever gave me about three-quarters of what he was capable of, worried about injuring me.

"I'll hurt you."

"You won't. Let go...please..." I begged. I stretched my hands up and fastened them around the water pipe which ran along the wall, gripping tight as Edward's fingers dug into the flesh of my hips and his cock hammered mercilessly into me. He repeatedly bumped my prostate, his cock stretching and bruising me as he approached his own orgasm. The small amount of discomfort was overshadowed by my own pleasure and I tipped over the edge quickly, my cock jerking, untouched, my cum painting the shower wall in front of me as I felt Edward's cold fluid spurt into me. His movements slowed immediately and then stopped, his arms sliding around me and his mouth pressing against my neck. He shifted his hips slightly and withdrew and I couldn't help flinching.

"Damnit, I hurt you," Edward groaned.

"I'm fine...little sore, that's all." I turned in his arms and pulled him tighter against me. "I love you. I wanted that."

"I love you too. You sure you're ok?"

"Yes, I'm a wolf, remember. By the time we get in the bed I won't even be sore. I didn't want you to hold back any more."

"You're crazy." He smiled and brushed his lips against mine.

"Yeah, crazy about you," I grinned cheesily, turning off the water and grabbing a towel.

We dried ourselves quickly and fell into bed, Edward curling up with his back to me in my arms as he so often did. Our first night together in our own home and I didn't think I could have been any happier - except that there was that one constantly present irritation still in the back of our minds in the form of the Volturi.


	34. Chapter 34

**Thank you as always, to all my wonderful readers for continuing to follow the story. This chapter comes with a warning of violence and heartbreak and I suggest you grab a supply of tissues before reading :o((**

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

I should have been at work today, but I had arranged my bookings at the garage to leave me free for April 30 and May 1. It was exactly one year since I exchanged vows and rings with Edward and the last thing I wanted to do was spend any time away from him that wasn't necessary. I wanted to spend the day with him, make love with him for half the night and wake up with him the next morning, not having to throw myself out of bed to get ready for work. I had bought him a small gift too - another of those rare old vinyl records he loved, regardless of how many times they skipped and wobbled when he was playing them.

Edward hadn't said anything about it being our anniversary, but the last few days he had a dreamy look about him, his golden eyes twinkling and a little smirk permanently fixed to his lips. I wondered if he was planning something too or if he was just looking forward to spending a romantic evening with me. He could be ridiculously romantic when the mood took him and I had discovered in the few months since we had lived together without the rest of the family that he liked nothing better than sharing glasses of wine - or blood - by candlelight in front of a roaring fire, making love on the rug, cuddling and whispering to each other. It hadn't been possible to do that under Carlisle's roof, but in the cottage we could do whatever the hell we wanted with nobody to see us and think what a pair of saps we were.

We spent the morning together at the cottage, but disappointingly Edward was thirsty and longing to go out and hunt. He had been out most of the previous night with Emmett and Jasper, but the three had been forced to share a single mountain lion, finding that prey was scarce and even then having to go almost as far as the Canadian border. Edward intended to go out again early on, but it was an unusually sunny day and he was forced to stay indoors until dusk. I could see our idea of a romantic evening fading rapidly away and when Edward left, promising to be as quick as he could, I drove over to the Cullens' house and asked Carlisle for some supplies from his surgery. He had little, having given Emmett and Jasper some of what he had already, but I returned home with two packs of blood to add to the single one we had in the refrigerator, kept for dire emergencies.

Carlisle had already said on a couple of occasions that it would be likely we would have to leave Forks at the end of the year. I could have still gotten away with it for a while, but Carlisle should be older than he looked and his prominent position at the hospital would soon prompt people to ask questions. The Cullens had all hunted the area to the extent that prey animals were become fewer and a move would soon be necessary for that reason alone.

Still nothing had been heard from the Volturi although Rosalie reported that Kate's so-called friend in the guard had mentioned that Aro and the others who had been travelling the globe had all returned to their new headquarters, so it seemed likely that if they had any intention of paying us a visit, it could be any time. Carlisle and Esme had several times tried to persuade Edward and me to move back into the main house temporarily, but both of us refused. We had grown to love our cottage and our privacy far too much to give it up again, even if it did put us in a more vulnerable position.

I made myself some dinner and ate quickly so that when Edward returned, I wouldn't be interrupting our time together to eat. I was just washing the dishes when my cellphone rang and I wiped my wet hands on my jeans before answering.

"I'm sorry I'm so long," Edward's voice said. He sounded rough, like someone with a sore throat and I guessed his hunt had so far been unsuccessful.

"You didn't find anything yet?" I asked.

"No, I'm going to head further east. I'm so sorry, I wanted to be home tonight."

"Edward, come home now, baby, I got some supplies from Carlisle," I said.

"I didn't think he had much."

"He doesn't, but he gave me two. Will that be enough with the spare we've got?"

"Yes, it'll do until tomorrow night."

"How far away are you?" I asked.

"I don't know, about fifty miles or so, I won't be long." He paused and I heard muffled coughing. "Jacob...thank you. I'll see you soon."

"Love you," I finished.

"Love you too." He ended the call and I put the phone away, quickly finished tidying up the kitchen and then emptied the two packs of blood Carlisle had given me and half of the one we already had into tall glasses. Edward would want them the minute he got in the door. The second half of the last pack, I poured into a wineglass and placed on the coffee table in the lounge along with a glass of wine for me. Emmett had obtained a bottle for me a few days before. I piled logs in the fireplace, lit the fire and turned the lights off, leaving the room lit only by the flickering flames.

Edward appeared a few minutes later - one moment I was alone in the house and the next I heard him in the kitchen, gulping the glasses of blood rapidly. I stayed in the lounge and waited for him to join me, which he did a few minutes later, his eyes glowing but still a little dark, his lips red.

"Are you ok?" I asked at once.

"I am now, thank you." He curled up on the sofa beside me and pressed himself into my arms.

I turned my head to kiss him and tasted the coppery saltiness of blood on his lips. "Happy anniversary," I murmured. "I love you so much, Edward."

"Happy anniversary. I love you too, husband." He grinned suddenly. "It doesn't seem like a year, does it?"

"No. I got you something." I drew away from him and leaned over the side of the sofa to grab the flat parcel wrapped in shiny red paper.

"Aww, Jacob, you shouldn't have..." Beaming, he took it from me.

"You mean you didn't get me anything?" I stuck my bottom lip out teasingly.

"Of course I did." He smirked and began ripping off the paper, delighted with what I had chosen. He gave me a small kiss and then vanished in a blur. I heard the bedroom door open and close and then he was back, handing me a gift he had clearly hidden somewhere in our room that I had managed not to stumble across.

Inside the box was a porcelain figurine of a man and a wolf, the man white-faced, red-lipped and golden-eyed and the large wolf at his side with red-brown fur and love in his eyes. I was speechless.

"You had this made especially?" I asked and Edward nodded. "How?"

"You can get anything if you know where to look..."

"...and have enough money," I grinned. "Thank you, I love it."

I put the figurine on the table and passed Edward the glass of blood, then picked up my own glass of wine. We sipped the drinks and cuddled and whispered to each other, our words quickly changing from loving ones to sex. Edward's thirst and failed hunting meant we hadn't actually had sex in three days, which was a long time for us. I took the empty glass from his hand and put it back on the table before I cupped his face in my hands and brought our lips together.

Thrusting my tongue into his mouth, I pulled him harder against me, stroking my hands down his body and cupping his erection through his pants. He moaned into my mouth and pushed himself against my hand, unfastening my pants and slipping his hand inside. There was no taking our time or finesse the first time. We were desperate for each other and aching for release. Edward undressed us both with lightning speed, grabbed the lube from beneath the table where I had put it earlier and prepared himself. In moments he was kneeling astride me, guiding the head of my cock into him and then shoving himself down hard until his butt met my thighs and I found myself buried deep in his ass.

"Holy shit!" I gasped. Even after a year, I hadn't gotten over the incredible feeling of being inside him and now I grasped his cock, pumping it steadily in time to him riding me. He came even before I did, spraying my chest with cold fluid, his muscles clenching around me and bringing me to the finish.

"God, I needed that so badly," he groaned then, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Me too, it's been a tough few days," I agreed. I tucked my hands under his butt and shuffled to the edge of the sofa. "Hold onto me." I shoved myself to my feet and he wrapped his legs around me, gripping tightly, my cock still inside him as I headed for the bathroom, not slipping from his body until the steaming water of the shower was cascading onto our heads. We washed each other slowly and sensuously, resulting in both of us quickly being eager for more, then took a couple of towels back into the lounge and spread them on the rug in front of the fire where Edward took me more slowly and gently.

We lay in each other's arms for some time afterwards, the dancing firelight making patterns of brightness and shadows on our bodies and although we hadn't really done anything other than exchange gifts and make love, it had been a perfect way to mark our anniversary. Eventually when the fire died down, we made our way to the bedroom and as usual I fell asleep with my arms around my husband, his back to me and my face in his neck.

I woke some time in the early hours of the morning to find my hard cock resting in the crack of Edward's ass, his body gyrating gently against me, his hand holding mine over his erection and rubbing it slowly. Grinning, I squeezed him harder and blew in his ear.

"Didn't you get enough last night?"

"I can't help it, your cock's been jabbing me for the last half hour," he murmured.

"It obviously knows what it wants even when I'm asleep." I drew back a few inches and rolled him onto his back, shifting myself onto him. He slid his legs apart and pulled them up either side of me, his hands on my hips holding me tight against him.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you more." I brushed my lips against his and reached into the drawer in the bed table to grab another bottle of lube which was stored in there, raising myself onto my knees to coat myself in it and prepare Edward. When I pushed myself into him, his head rolled back on the pillow and he closed his eyes.

"That feels so good," he moaned.

"Mmm..." I sighed, moving my hips slowly. "You're so tight...and cold..." I shivered and Edward's fingers traced the goosebumps on my back. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"I love your heat in me...filling me..."

I gave a harder thrust. "Remember the first time I kissed you? Not Houston...the proper kiss at your house when you goaded me into it."

"I did not goad you." Edward's muscles tightened and I shuddered.

"Yeah, you did. I never told you, but that kiss had me as hard as a rock."

"I noticed," he smirked, digging is nails into my back.

"Damn. I tried so hard to hide it."

"I know. Like all the other times when we were kissing and you'd sneak off to the bathroom for a few minutes."

"You knew?" I thrust harder, my face warming.

"I didn't want to embarrass you by letting on," Edward smirked.

"You were probably doing the same."

"Well...yes...sometimes, but I was faster than you, so you'd come back and I'd look all cool and relaxed as if nothing had happened."

"God," I groaned. "You know if I'd had any idea what you were doing I'd have been as fast as you."

Edward grinned. "I never thought then I'd actually be married to you one day. When we went to Jasper's wedding, I thought you were just saying that to please me. I would have slept with you anyway eventually."

"I know you would and I didn't want that. I wanted to give you what you wanted...and I did want it then too...that day a year ago on the cliff...was the most special day of my life...mmm..." I stopped talking as he squeezed me harder inside him.

"I love you," Edward whispered again. His golden eyes fixed on mine and our gaze remained locked as we made love, keeping things slow and gentle until we both came, lips brushing together lightly and repeatedly. Reluctantly I slid away from him and he curled into my arms, his face against my shoulder as he breathed in my scent.

I glanced over at the luminous dial on the clock, noting it was just after two-thirty and then both of us noticeably jumped as the telephone rang. We had a landline in the bedroom and the shrill sound seemed deafening in the darkness.

"Who the fuck is that?" I grumbled.

"Don't know." Edward's teeth nibbled my neck gently. "Let the machine get it."

Three more rings and the answer service kicked in, shutting off the ringer and we both listening curiously to see if the caller left a message.

_"Edward! Jacob! Are you there?" _It was Rosalie's voice, almost screaming. Edward jerked away from me and we both sat up. My heart began to pound as we listened to Rosalie's voice, interspersed with a rushing sound like the wind as if she were running at top speed.

"They're here - the Volturi - I didn't know until just now, I swear - when I spoke to Kate last week she was weird, like she had a secret - I talked to her just now and made her tell me. They know where you are, Edward! I'm coming now, the others are hunting - I'm calling Carlisle next...!" The call ended and in a couple of seconds Edward was out of bed and fastening his pants. I threw the bed covers back to get up, my heart hammering.

"They're outside," Edward said grimly. "I can hear them - guards I don't know. Aro sent them to destroy the abomination that we are and to get revenge for what we did to them."

Time seemed to slow down right then and I almost expected it to stop, leaving us frozen in place. I leaped from the bed and landed on my paws on the carpet. The window was open and I let out the most deafening howl I could muster, calling the pack and only hoping the patrol wasn't too far away. Those in their beds on the Reservation would make it in minutes.

There was no sound - absolutely none, but Edward whispered that they were already in the house and surrounding it. Our bedroom was in the rafters, a converted attic room, and a faint thud sounded as a vampire's hands gripped the ledge above the window. I jerked my head around to see Rosalie crouching in the opening and for the first time ever, I was delighted to see her.

"I'm so sorry, Ed -" To our horror her voice was cut off as she was grabbed from behind and torn away and her scream echoed through the night, sending chills down my spine and bringing a look of agony to Edward's face. His jaw clenched and we stood half facing the bedroom door, one of Edward's eyes still on the window. I could hear my heartbeat, the sound of it seeming to vibrate through my head as I waited for what seemed an interminable length of time to face what we had hoped for the past few months we weren't going to have the need to face. We were ready, but we were just two, surrounded by some of the most powerful vampires in the world and even if the pack and the other Cullens were in time, I didn't know how good our odds were.

_'I love you,'_ I thought, hoping it wasn't going to be the last chance I had to tell him.

"I love you too."

Time went from practically standing still to passing way too fast and the next few minutes seemed to flash by. The door fell inwards, torn from its hinges, landing flat on the floor and admitting a blur of bodies. I sprang without thought or planning - there was no time for either and no room to do anything other than fight and fight hard. My jaws clamped around a vampire's head, tearing it from its body and I jumped back before aiming at the next. This one was small but determined looking and it rushed at me, hands outstretched. I halted and slid backwards, my claws tearing up the carpet, propelled by what seemed to be some kind of force-field. The vampire didn't even touch me, but I was powerless to fight back. I snapped helplessly towards its hands, my ears vaguely registering the sound of snarling outside and a brief sense of relief washing over me. The pack were here. Maybe now we had a chance.

I lashed out with my claws, struggling to free myself from the vampire's power, my eyes swivelling around me to take in the rest of the room. Edward had killed two other vampires, their bodies lying in a heap at the side of the bed, but now three more were cornering him and as I watched, all of them moved as one. Two large powerful ones pinned him to the wall suddenly and although he managed to throw one off in a second, the other made a quick move with its hands and in an instant his arm was detached from his body. The limb landed in front of my paws, the hand curled into a fist and the gold ring glinting on the third finger.

_'No! Edward! Fuck!' _I screamed in my head.

The grinning vampire in front of me seemed momentarily distracted and I felt the force holding me weaken a little. I launched myself forwards and snapped my teeth together around the creature's throat, tearing out a chunk so that its head rolled back and its body crumpled to the ground. I sprang at the next attacker, desperate to get to Edward who, one-armed and yelling, was still held against the wall by the other vampire.

Jasper glided smoothly through the window and engaged the first guard he came to as I killed another. Then I turned towards Edward, my beautiful Imprint, just as the smaller vampire in front of him raised her hand, throwing a fireball from her fingertips. I was deafened then, by the snarling and screaming downstairs and the furious thoughts of Sam, Paul, Jared and Embry as they attacked repeatedly; by the enraged yells of Jasper as he gripped the small girl vampire's head from behind and tore it off; and by the screams of agony from Edward as he went up in flames.

_'Jacob, get out of there!'_

It was Sam's Alpha voice and it shifted me from the spot I had become rooted to as the black wolf appeared in the doorway, Paul's grey form right behind it. The two along with Jasper quickly despatched the remaining three vampires in the room while I padded slowly towards Edward - or what was left of Edward. The pain ripping through me was excrutiating and I doubted it would have hurt any more if I had been burned myself. He was gone - my vampire was gone, reduced to a pile of smouldering ash except for the one arm on the other side of the room. I glanced down in alarm, suddenly realising I had phased without warning, wearing my ring. Seeing the gold band still there, cutting into the flesh of one of my toes, but intact, gave small relief.

I was dimly aware of the battle still going on downstairs, punctuated by snarls, yells and screams, but Paul's thoughts and Jasper's words as they stood either side of me didn't penetrate the ringing in my ears and my head. Sam had left the room to rejoin the fight and suddenly my immobility vanished and I sprang towards the door. These creatures had killed my Imprint, torn him apart and burned him, ripping out my heart and soul in the process and I had nothing to lose. I would take a few more with me before I gave up and followed him.

I hurtled down to the lounge, wincing at the sight of Jared's poor human body lying motionless in the hallway. Another reason for me to kill - he had wanted so much for this to all be over so that he could make a life with Kim and his chance was gone. I joined Seth and Leah in killing the two vampires in the room, then hurled myself at the window, smashing through the glass into the yard and finding Esme, Carlisle and Emmett all engaged in fights of their own. I launched myself into the fray, biting, clawing, killing, barely noticing how many there were. I just kept going until a fist hit me in the head and steel arms fastened around my middle, breaking my jaw, crushing my ribs and forcing me to the ground. I remembered suddenly the preparation for the battle with the newborns as I felt the cracking in my face and remembered that Edward had broken the exact same bone and knocked out one of my teeth. Now he was gone. I closed my eyes and let myself go, hoping that it would be over quickly. Maybe I would be able to find him somewhere, somehow, if I hurried. Darkness pulled me under and everything going on around me continued without me.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but sunlight was bright on my face and I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter as feeling came back to my body. Everything hurt; my chest, stomach, head and legs.

_'I'm dead,_' I thought. _'Why can I still feel pain?'_

"He's awake!"

It was Seth's voice and I struggled to push myself back to wherever I had been in the darkness. I wasn't dead and everything came flooding back to me, jolting me and pulling a gasp of agony from me, nothing to do with my injuries. My husband was dead and I felt as if my heart had been cut out. I was empty and alone; the love of my life gone and I couldn't go on without him.

_'Leave me alone!' _I thought desperately.

"Jacob! Open your eyes," Carlisle's voice said and a cool hand rested on my forehead. Immediately I thought of Edward's cool hands on me, touching my face as he kissed me, stroking over my back as we held each other...

"Jake!" Seth said.

It was no good. I was still here and they weren't going to just leave me to die in peace. I forced my eyelids up and met Carlisle's golden gaze. His face was haggard and strangely he seemed to have aged.

"That's it, you're going to be ok," he said softly.

"I'm not. I'm never going to be ok. Not without Edward. _Why didn't you just let me die?"_ I yelled at him.

"I'm so sorry, Jake," Seth said. He had tears in his eyes and he sat on the edge of the bed now and took hold of my hand.

"How can I live without my Imprint?" I choked.

"Stay with him, I'll be back shortly," Carlisle said and left the room. I was in my old room at the Cullens' house, I realised. The room that had been mine and Edward's. I closed my eyes again.

"Who else?" I asked roughly.

"Rosalie, Alexa and Jared," Seth said.

"Shit." My already crushed heart ached for Jasper, who had lost two wives in as many years. I forced myself upright through the crushing weight which attempted to keep me pinned to the bed and swung my legs off the side of it.

"Jake! Don't! What are you doing?" protested Seth, grabbing my arm. I tried to shake him off, but found I didn't have the strength.

"Take me to the house."

"Jacob, no..." The boy's eyes blurred with tears again and a moment later Leah came in.

"Jake, I'm so sorry." Unlike her, she was crying too and she dropped to her knees in front of me and wrapped her arms around me. I winced as she touched still healing bones under my skin.

"Leah, take me to my house," I begged. I knew he was gone, but his left arm hadn't burned. I needed to see; to find something.

"No, Jake, I can't."

"Then I'll go myself."

"Carlisle and Sam burned the house," she sniffed. "To get rid of _them_."

"I still need to see it," I insisted grimly, further pain stabbing through me at the thought of our lovely home and everything in it gone; not that any of that mattered to me now.

"Oh, God. There's nothing there, Jacob, he's gone."

_"I know, Godamnit!"_ I snarled suddenly. "Please!"

"Jacob? You need to calm down," Carlisle said, appearing in the doorway again.

"No, I need to go to the house._ Now!_ If none of you will take me, I'll crawl the whole fucking way if I have to!"

"Alright, Leah," Carlisle nodded at last and she got to her feet and helped me up. "Bring him straight back here afterwards."

Leah and Seth both held onto my arms, slowly leading me downstairs and out of the house. Several times my legs almost gave way and by the time we reached Emmett's truck, which Carlisle had suggested we use, they were practically carrying me. Leah drove and a few minutes later the remains of the cottage came into view - a pile of still smoking rubble in a large area of blackened grass.

I clenched my fists, drawing on my anger at what they - the Volturi - had done to us, to give me the strength to get out of the truck and walk to what had been our home for such a short time. Leah and Seth both tried to stop me as I walked into the burned remains, still hot enough to begin melting the rubber on my shoes. The bedroom had been directly above the lounge and I toed through that area, moving charred rafters and bits of furniture aside until I eventually found what I was looking for.

Edward's ring glinted bright gold, barely even smudged with soot and I dropped to me knees to retrieve it, not even noticing the pain in my lower legs as the heat singed my jeans. The ring itself was almost too hot to touch, but I slid it onto my pinky beside my own ring, ignoring the burning, squeezing my eyes shut as the tears came.

I was almost unaware of Leah and Seth running to me and picking me up bodily, carrying me back to the truck, Seth holding me as Leah drove back to the Cullens'. Could a wolf live without his Imprint, I wondered painfully? Go on after part of him had been torn away and destroyed? Whether he could or not, I didn't want to. All I wanted was to give up and follow my vampire to wherever he had gone on to.

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**If you're looking for some more great stories, check out some of my favourite authors - elfprincess8, ant1gon3, Lineia**


	35. Chapter 35

**Thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter and sorry it was such a horrible heartbreaking one. This is the last chapter and I can promise you're going to need the tissues again, it doesn't get any better. BUT...read the A/N at the bottom and watch out for my new story coming very soon ;o)**

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

I didn't move from my bed in my old room at the Cullens' for four long days and nights - the others wouldn't let me. I had barely seen Emmett and Jasper, both heartbroken and being given as much comfort as Carlisle and Esme could offer, even though they suffered too from the loss of three members of their family. Carlisle had taken extended leave from the hospital and was already talking about closing up the house and moving on. He had reported that once again well over half of the Volturi guard had been destroyed, despite them being stronger and holding greater powers than the originals, and the remainder had returned to France. This news had come from Eleazar and I got a grim sense of satisfaction to discover that one of those killed was Kate's friend. If only Kate herself had been present, I would have taken her out myself as it was clear enough she was responsible for the Volturi knowing exactly where to find Edward and me.

I had the constant company of various pack members now - often Embry and Leah together, sometimes one of the others, Sam and Paul the most. They tried talking, reading to me, playing me music, but I couldn't communicate with any of them. My body healed, but my heart and soul suffered on and the agony in my chest made me sweat and shiver, cry and scream in turn. I remembered the time when I had first Imprinted on Edward and had begun to feel the effects of his absence and I realised it had been nothing compared to this. I felt like I was dying a slow and painful death and yet my body stubbornly refused to give up.

The memorial service for Jared was the first time I was actually alone since it happened. No one expected me to go and I couldn't have managed it even if I wanted to. I could just about stagger to and from the bathroom before I would succumb to the crippling pain - not that I had much cause to leave my bed anyway. I didn't eat and I had barely had more than a few sips of water, which weakened me still further.

Carlisle and Esme went to pay their respects to Jared and the minute they left the house, I got up. Emmett and Jasper were shut up in Emmett and Rose's old room and I doubted they would notice if I were to run around the house yelling at the top of my lungs. Clinging to the bannister, I tiptoed on weak legs down the stairs to the kitchen, stopping repeatedly as I sweated and trembled, forcing myself somehow not to give up and fall to my knees.

I couldn't go on like this a minute longer. I hoped that in wolf form the agony would lessen, but in my current state I was too weak to phase. Every bit of energy and nourishment in me had been used up in healing and I had probably lost a good twenty pounds in weight. My clothes were hanging off of me and I'd had to use a belt to stop my jeans falling down.

I raided the refrigerator, pulling out a large pie Esme had made to feed any wolves who were visiting me. It was as yet untouched and I dug into it with a fork and slowly ate the entire thing, forcing down each bite with the help of several glasses of milk. Eating made me feel sick, but it also strengthened me and by the time the large platter was empty, I was able to walk out of the house more or less normally. Halting outside the rear door, I stripped off my clothes, removed the two rings from my fingers and carefully slid them onto the chain I still wore around my neck, then closed my eyes and summoned my wolf. I could feel him deep inside me, stirring slowly and gradually adding his rage at the loss of his Imprint to the pain I already felt.

It was more difficult than ever before, bringing him out. I was still weak, but determined and at last I stood on all four paws and shook myself, then padded slowly towards the trees. I took one last look over my shoulder, confirming that Emmett and Jasper hadn't seen me and the others were not yet returning. Then I turned towards the north, closed my mind and ran.

At first it was barely more than a lope, my tongue lolling from my mouth with the effort as I panted and gasped, but eventually my wolf took control and I was racing, snarling and snapping, my paws tearing up the ground as I did everything I could to run away from the feeling inside me. I kept going until I didn't have the strength to continue another step and then I sank to the ground amongst some particularly thick foliage and curled up, resting my nose on my paws. A steady rain had begun to fall some time during the last hour and it dripped continuously from the branches above onto my thick fur, soaking the earth around and beneath me, but I didn't move.

The pain and emptiness was no less in wolf form than it had been as a human and I let out an agonised howl before I could stop myself, then cursed the fact that I had just pinpointed my position for the rest of the pack. I knew they would be looking for me by now and so far I had relied upon the fact that the rain would have washed away my scent, but now I had basically yelled out, 'Here I am!' to the pack and I was too weak to get up and put more distance between us.

I didn't have to wait long. It was perhaps three hours before Sam's black wolf appeared alone and I was only surprised he hadn't brought the others with him.

_'They wanted to come; I thought it better to talk to you alone,' _Sam's voice rumbled as he dropped to his haunches close by.

I didn't answer and he simply sat there, thinking what I guess he hoped were comforting thoughts, but there wasn't a thing he or anyone else could have said or done to make me feel any better. I closed my eyes and my mind and shut him out.

Somehow I must have slept and when I stirred, I noticed Sam approaching again from the opposite direction he had come from before, the haunch of a goat gripped in his jaws. He dropped it unceremoniously in front of me and stepped back.

_'Eat.'_

_'I'm not hungry.'_

_'But you're weak.'_

He was right and I knew I couldn't move very far, even to get away from him, without taking on board more sustenance. Once again, I forced myself to eat for the sole reason of giving myself energy and Sam stood and watched the entire time, saying nothing. When I was done, I pushed myself up onto my paws and faced him.

_'Sam, I know you're looking out for me, but I really need to be alone.'_

_'That's the worst thing for you right now,' _he replied firmly._ 'I want you to come home. Your brothers are all there for you...'_

_'Except Jared,'_ I thought sorrowfully. _'Do the others blame me?'_

_'Of course they don't blame you; why would you think that?'_

_'Sam, be real. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for me.'_

_'You didn't do anything, Jacob. Fate made you Imprint and all of what followed...'_

_'Fate!' _I snarled. _'Fate really screwed me over, Sam! Edward too. What the fuck was the point? Why would _fate_ do this to us? Can you tell me that?'_

_'There's always a reason. You loved Bella, but you couldn't have her...'_

_'...and the Imprint stopped me hurting over her and helped Edward get over her, I know all that. But why the fuck would it bring us together in the first place if this was how we were to end up? I'd have gotten over my crush - he would have gotten over her dying. I am _never _going to get over him, Sam! There is no fucking point to my life any more! It's over!'_

I hung my head, panting, squeezing my eyes shut and grimacing against the increasing agony that filled me.

_'Don't talk like that, Jacob; I'll help you...we all will.'_

_'Help me to do what?' _I threw my head up again and glared back at him. I wasn't mad at him, but he didn't understand; he couldn't possibly hope to understand unless Emily died.

_'Jacob...'_

_'Help me do what?' _I repeated. _'Die slowly from the loss of my Imprint? There's no getting over that, is there? _Is there, Sam?!'

_'Just come back with me. You have to stop thinking that way. I read some things that said the tie of the Imprint eventually breaks when one party dies...'_

_'Sam, leave me alone. I'm not going back,' _I interrupted. _'And don't try ordering me back, because I'll overrule you.'_

_'Then what? You expect me to just say goodbye? Go home without you and not even try to help? I can't do that, Jacob, you know I can't.'_

_'Sam...don't my wishes count for anything? You know I can take back the Alpha role, even now, and order you to stay here. I want to be with Edward; there's no other place for me. I have to find him...whatever it takes to do that.'_

_'You mean die,' _Sam thought sadly.

_'Think about this,' _I said. _'Forget the fact that you're Alpha. Figure you're just a pack member and you don't have the responsibility to the others. You watch Emily die in front of you - your Imprint, the one you love more than anything and the one you'd throw yourself into the path of any amount of danger for. What do you do? Go on without her? In agony, both mentally and physically, not knowing if it will ever lessen? That's what you're asking me to do, Sam.'_

_'I'm sorry,' _Sam answered.

_'Let me go.'_

_'Where will you go?'_

_'Alaska. I can't go on like this, day after day. I want it over quickly. I'm gonna take Kate with me.'_

_'Fuck, Jacob,'_ Sam groaned. _'How can I let you do that, huh?' _

_'Think of it as granting my last wish. Go home, Sam. You have a wife to take care of and kids soon, I hope. Give me twenty-four hours before you tell the pack and don't tell the Cullens where I'm headed; they'll try to stop me.'_

He let out a heavy sigh and nodded slowly, then stepped closer and touched his muzzle to mine. _'I hardly know what to say,' _he thought.

_'Don't say anything, you don't need to.'_

After a moment Sam lowered his head, his posture almost taking on that of a submissive as he turned and began to pad slowly away between the trees. I watched until he was out of sight and then turned in the other direction and began to run. I had over two thousand miles to cover and it was going to be a long and painful journey.

I travelled with barely a pause for three days and nights, stopping only to hunt to boost my energy when weakness slowed me too much. The pain I was in was still intense, but a little less now that I knew what I was doing. I had purpose - I was going to Edward and nothing was going to stop me.

It was dusk when I reached the Denali mansion and I lurked in the trees nearby until full darkness fell, keeping all of my senses alert in case any of the family should be out hunting. Nothing moved and soon enough an inky blackness settled over the house, the cloud cover preventing any light from the moon or stars. I moved from my position and headed towards the building to a lit window on the first floor. I knew it was a lounge room and I approached from the side, halting when I could see in.

Kate, Irina and Tanya were all sitting around a low table, apparently relaxed and chatting, unaware of my presence outside. There was no sign of Eleazar and Carmen. I backed up and then paused again perhaps twenty yards from the window. My heart had begun to pound and adrenaline pumped through my body, extinguishing the pain I was feeling. It was the first moment since I lost Edward that I hadn't felt it and I stood there for several long moments, letting the sense of relief fill me as I watched the activities beyond the pane of glass.

_'Edward, I'm coming, baby,' _I thought. _'I'm sorry it took me this long.' _

Perhaps wherever he was he could hear me, even see me as I bunched my muscles up, poised, claws digging into the hard, dry earth. My heart slammed against my ribs, its beat so fast I could barely distinguish one thud from the next as I launched myself forwards, in three strides going at full speed. I hit the glass and smashed through at exactly the right angle, front paws extended and as I sailed downwards into the room, my claws cut into Kate's shoulders, throwing her off the low stool she sat on and pinning her to the ground. I knew I had only a second or two before she would summon her power and disable me with a bolt of electricity and the others would be on me, but I didn't waste time thinking. I opened my jaws wide, gripped them tightly onto her head and jerked my neck up. Her head detached from her body and I tossed it away from me just as Irina and Tanya grabbed me from both sides, screaming in rage and horror.

I felt my throat and chest being crushed, cutting off my air supply and it was a welcome discomfort. Even as my chest tightened and my lungs strained uselessly, the pain was no worse than that I felt when I watched my Imprint - my husband - die in front of me and I closed my eyes. It would be over in a few more seconds and then I could find him again. Whether in heaven or hell, or somewhere in between, I would find him.

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**Again, thanks to everyone who has read the story. A lot of you probably aren't too happy with me right now, but bear with me. As impossible as it might seem at this moment, there is a sequel, so I hope you'll give it a shot. Summary below.**

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**REUNITED - The Sequel**

If fate united two hearts with the strength of an Imprint, can that connection be powerful enough to transcend death? Two boys meet in the far distant future, discovering through a number of moments of deja vu that they have always been meant for each other, however unlikely it might seem.


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